


Over the Lights, Under the Moon

by SlantedKnitting



Series: big bangs and challenges [12]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Exhibitionism, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Modern Era, Panic Attacks, Semi-Public Sex, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 11:58:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 111,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16117979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlantedKnitting/pseuds/SlantedKnitting
Summary: Arthur—a well-off biomedical engineer who designs artificial joints—has been lusting after Merlin in the gym but never thought to actually make a move. Then his flatmate Gwaine makes a move instead, and suddenly Merlin is around their flat all the time, funny and gorgeous and no longer available.Arthur can almost deal with that, but then his sister goes and ruins their father’s career and blows up their entire family in the process, and Arthur can’t deal with anything anymore. Not his job, and especially not Merlin, who is frustratingly kind and supportive. And who invites Arthur along on his business trip to Canada so that Arthur can get away from the drama.-Merlin—a trans video games concept artist—is back in London after several years in Montréal, enjoying his new freelance job. He reconnects with a uni friend, Gwaine, who happens to live with Arthur, the guy Merlin has been eyeing at the gym. Things with Gwaine are fun and hot, and it’s only a little awkward whenever he has to interact with Arthur. But then they keep interacting more and more, and, soon enough, they are good enough friends that Merlin feels compelled to invite Arthur with him on a trip back to Canada.





	1. Over the Lights

**Author's Note:**

> OH GOODNESS. Mostly I just want to apologise for this ridiculous and long and ridiculously long fic. But I also want to thank:
> 
> \- 1) the mods for being a delight and running this whole thing for us 10 YEARS AFTER THIS SHOW PREMIERED
> 
> \- 2) my wonder artist schweet for collaborating with me, being patient when the fic kept growing bigger and bigger, and knowing full-well what she was signing up for but doing it anyway, and for making beautiful BEAUTIFUL ART FOR ME. She is wonderful and I’m so grateful to have gotten to work with her!! Also, I’ve never had nice section dividers before, but schweet made them and I loooove them!!
> 
> Her art post is here: [https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116707](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116707?view_full_work=true)
> 
> \- 3) my beta [jiang](http://ji-ang.tumblr.com/) who has now edited upwards of 185k words for me over the past year and a half. She is so encouraging and so dang good with her notes, and I really can’t say how much I appreciate the amount of work she has put into _my_ work.
> 
> Also, I don’t know anything about biomedical engineering, concept art, academia, or video games. Whoops!
> 
> Title from “Kite” by Kate Bush.

****

**~~~~~~~~~~**

~~~

When Arthur came home from the gym, his flatmate Gwaine had their living room table pushed up against the far windows. He was sitting on top of it, cross-legged, and plastering the panes with neon sticky notes.

"Signalling the mothership?" Arthur asked.

"Trying to find someone who will come rescue me," Gwaine replied without turning away from his task. "Or take you away, maybe. Either one."

Arthur frowned as he started to take in the full picture in front of him: Gwaine was blocking part of his view of the window, but the sticky notes seemed to be arranged to spell out 'WHAT FILM?'

"Are you… what _are_ you doing?"

"Making friends."

Deciding that he didn't want to know, Arthur shook his head and headed down the hall. When he reached his room, he peeled off his sweaty shirt and flopped down on the bed to check his mobile.

No new texts. No noteworthy new Tweets or Instagrams. No new matches or messages on any of his dating apps. No new work emails. Several personal emails from his sister, which was odd and probably meant she was having kittens over something Arthur didn't care to know about, so he didn't bother opening them.

It wasn't even 11am yet, and he was already restless. He had no plans for the rest of the day. He had no plans for the whole weekend, really. He'd gone on a date the night before with a bloke who'd turned out to be so dreadfully dull that Arthur hadn't even stuck around long enough to get a blowjob out of it.

He'd been hoping for some kind of whirlwind romance where he and his date couldn't get enough of each other—in bed or out of it—and accidentally spent the entire weekend together, probably feeding each other grapes and testing out various wine and cheese pairings in between all the scorching hot sex.

Instead, his date had been a flop, so he'd skipped dessert and come home to wank. Afterwards, he'd gone to bed pathetically early for a Friday night, causing him to also wake up pathetically early for a Saturday morning. He'd headed to the gym as soon as he'd got up, but now he had nothing else to do.

Nothing else to do except think about Arms Guy, who had also been at the gym getting in his early morning workout.

Arms Guy was gorgeous, and Arthur had been lusting after him for months. He had nice long legs, _really_ nice thighs, and presumably a nice torso, although Arthur hadn't seen more than the sweaty outline of his chest. What Arthur knew for sure, though—as his nickname implied—was that he had phenomenal arms.

Arthur wanted those arms shoving him against a wall or holding him down on a bed or wrapping around him for a good cuddle. They were long and thin and perfectly sculpted. Everything about Arms Guy was skinny yet built, but his arms were just complete perfection.

And then there was Legs Guy, who could probably easily crush Arthur's skull between his thighs. And Chest Guy, who had the most excellently shaped pecs. And Abs Guy, who frankly had too many abs, but damn did they look good anyway.

And Arse Guy, of course, but that was self-explanatory.

But Arms Guy… he was the whole package. He had a lovely face that Arthur had taken a few weeks to really notice thanks to his distracting arms. But once Arthur had noticed, it turned out that Arms Guy was kind of divine. He had lovely stubble that graced a sharp jawline, not to mention the _dimples_ and ridiculous cheekbones. Plus his bright blue eyes that were usually emphasised by his dark blue workout t-shirts. All that was framed by his hair, which was an utter bird's nest of dark almost-curls that Arthur itched to touch.

Arthur slipped a hand under the waistband of his sweats and rubbed the tips of his fingers up and down the underside of his half hard cock.

He couldn't even remember the last time he'd been on a date with someone he was as attracted to as he was to Arms Guy. Arms Guy was just _magnetic_ , and Arthur didn't understand how no one else at the gym was tripping over themselves at the sight of him. Arthur could barely even look at Arms Guy because of how flustered he became every time they even came close to making eye contact.

Maybe one day Arthur would get his act together enough to talk to Arms Guy. Not that he had anything more to say than, 'Nice arms, let's fuck.' And Arthur wasn't even sure Arms Guy was gay. He definitely looked at other guys in the gym—who didn't?—but it was hard to tell if the looks were lustful or envious. Arms Guy wasn't the biggest regular, so he might have thought he had something to be jealous of, but Arthur knew better. His size and proportions were perfect, and Arthur had a really hard time not staring at him whenever they worked out near each other.

Arthur had Arms Guy's body practically memorised. He could imagine exactly what it would look like if Arms Guy were sprawled across his bed as Arthur fucked him. His head would be thrown back, his hair getting even more untidy against Arthur's sheets. His pretty eyes would be closed, and he would be groaning through his teeth, his perfect jaw clenched tight. His sturdy thighs would be wrapped around Arthur's waist, their muscles working to hold Arthur closer as they moved together. And his arms would be on full display as he brought himself off in time with Arthur's thrusts.

Arthur bit down on his lip and let out a low grunt as his orgasm hit him before he'd even had a chance to pull down his shorts.

A good workout always got him so riled up.

Sighing, Arthur rolled off his bed and stripped off the rest of his gym clothes. He shoved his pants in the basket, then went into his en suite to relieve himself and take a shower where he could wank again without worrying about another mess.

When he was washed and dried and dressed, Arthur went back to the living room to see if Gwaine had been beamed up yet.

He was still sitting on the table in front of the windows, this time arranging his sticky notes to read 'ME + 2.'

"So…" Arthur leaned on the edge of the table to watch. "Are you… teaching maths to pigeons? Having a John Nash moment? Just trying to confuse me as much as possible?"

Gwaine added a few more notes to the bottom line of the '2' before scooting off the table, stepping back a few feet, and taking a picture of the window with his mobile.

"Someone invited us to a film night," he said, turning to Arthur.

"Yeah, that doesn't explain this at all."

"Someone in the east tower put up sticky notes in their window saying 'FILM TONITE 8PM.'"

"And you took that as a personal invitation."

"No," Gwaine said, chucking a notepad at Arthur's head. "But I wrote back and then they wrote back and so on."

"How do you know they're not responding to someone below us who is also being completely insane and sending messages via their windows? Surely someone else has noticed what you're both doing."

"They're answering my questions, so…" Gwaine shrugged and glanced over his shoulder to see if the other flat had posted a reply yet.

"What kind of questions?"

Gwaine handed over his mobile. "I took photos."

Arthur scrolled through the recent pictures on Gwaine's mobile, finding an entire conversation.

\- **FILM TONITE 8PM**  
\- WHAT FILM  
\- **WLDNT U LIKE 2 KNO**  
\- YES!  
\- **COME FIND OUT**  
\- BRING MATES?  
\- **HOW MANY**  
\- ME + 2

"What if they turn out to be serial killers?" Arthur asked, passing the mobile back to Gwaine.

"What if _we_ turn out to be serial killers?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not, but I really wouldn't put it past you."

Gwaine pulled a face and Arthur returned it.

"They responded," Gwaine said, hopping back on the table and turning toward the windows. "They're saying… 'WE = 3 MORE MERRY.'"

"More merry?"

"The more the merrier, I think." Gwaine said before ripping his sticky notes off the window with surprising deftness.

"What are you going to say next?"

"I'm going to be a good guest and ask if we can bring anything."

Arthur leaned across the table to help write 'FOOD?' and then pressed his face against the adjacent pane to get a better view of the other flat.

Their block of flats was U-shaped, and Arthur, Gwaine, and their other flatmate, Leon, lived on the west arm of the block in the penthouse Arthur had been able to secure because his uncle's real estate company owned the building.

The flat with the film invitation was near the eastern end of the block, about five stories down.

It took a while because the message was so long, but eventually the other flat put up a complete response of 'US = PIZZA U = WINE.'

Gwaine worked as fast as he could to reply, not even bothering to tell Arthur what he wanted to write as he arranged his sticky notes. So Arthur just watched, amused, as Gwaine wrote out 'SEE U 8PM.'

"Brilliant," Gwaine said happily, taking another photo.

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Oh, look! They've put up a little heart."

"How sweet," Arthur said, fighting not to roll his eyes. "It's probably going to be some teenage girls, and when we show up at their door with wine, their parents are going to have us arrested."

"It's just as likely they're leather daddies. Or MPs. Or dogs in human suits."

"One of each, do you think?" Arthur teased. "Three dogs and each of them is pretending to be a different type of human? I call dibs on the leather daddy."

"You would. Want to come buy wine with me?"

"Might as well. Can't have you making a poor impression of us by showing up with shitty alcohol."

"That's the spirit."

~

Gwaine was wilfully indecisive at the shop, so when he and Arthur returned home, they were each carrying three bottles of wine.

They were welcomed back by Leon, who had come back from his morning errands with his friend Percy. Leon was on the floor of the lounge scrolling through the virtual collection of games on Arthur's PlayStation, and Percy was on the sofa, busy with his mobile.

"Planning a bit of a bender?" Leon asked as Gwaine and Arthur set down their bags.

"We're making new friends tonight," Gwaine said. Instead of properly explaining himself, he plopped down next to Percy, sitting a little too close for it to be entirely casual. Percy leaned into him, sharing whatever was on his mobile.

Leon watched them for a second before looking back up at Arthur. "Does this have anything to do with the sticky notes on the window?"

"Unfortunately, yes. We're, uh… going to a film night in the east tower."

"That is somehow a completely unsurprising explanation for Gwaine putting sticky notes on your windows," Percy teased.

"You're just jealous," Gwaine said.

"Yes, babe." Percy patted Gwaine's knee. "Leon, did you know that _Octodad_ has a co-op option?"

"It looks ridiculous," Gwaine said, reading something on Percy's mobile. "We're definitely playing that."

"Good, I was getting paralysed by choice," Leon said, selecting _Octodad: Dadliest Catch_ on the telly before handing out the controllers and taking his spot on the sofa.

They had an unreasonably large sectional sofa with plenty of room for Arthur to sit as far away as he pleased, but that wouldn't have been any fun. So, instead, Arthur grabbed a cushion and settled on the floor, propping the pillow against Leon's legs to use as a backrest.

"This is cosy," Leon deadpanned.

"You've got bony knees," Arthur complained, grinning and shoving his shoulder blades into Leon's shins.

"I call dibs on the left leg," Gwaine said when the menu loaded.

"That's—why?" Arthur asked, setting his controller to the right arm.

"Probably the tastiest part."

"That's not how this game works," Percy said, chuckling. He assigned himself to the left arm, leaving Leon to the right leg.

"Does anyone have a strategy for this game?" Leon asked as the introduction cutscene began to play.

"Button smashing," Percy said confidently.

"I'll smash your buttons," Gwaine jeered.

"Not until you wash your hands."

Arthur snorted and started pressing on his controller's bumpers even though the cutscene was still playing.

After an afternoon of increasingly raucous attempts to get through the game, the group gave up and disbanded. Percy went home to get ready for a date with a girl he'd been seeing, Leon went to take a shower, Gwaine went to his room to do whatever it was he did in there, and Arthur stayed in the lounge by himself.

He switched the television's input to his Xbox, got himself some wine—he figured even six people didn't need six bottles for one movie night—and started a new game on _Ori and the Blind Forest_. He'd played through the entire game at least a dozen times since it had been released, but it was still one of his go-to's. The soft, wondrous animation looked fantastic on his large telly, and it was easy to just get a little buzzed, immerse himself in the game, and not worry about anything else.

Like why the hell Gwaine was pining after someone as straight as Percy.

Or how he should probably take a break from dating apps after the failure of the previous night, which was the fifth bad date he'd had in a row.

Or what his sister had been emailing him about.

Or what Arms Guy was doing right then.

~

Eventually, it was time to go to the east tower. Since he knew Gwaine wouldn't do it, Arthur knocked on everyone's doors and went to collect the remaining wine while they got ready.

Gwaine couldn't decide on which shirt to wear, so they didn't leave their flat until 7:58.

"What if some old man answers the door holding an axe?" Leon asked on the lift ride down.

Gwaine pulled out two bottles of wine from Arthur's bag and handed them to Leon, and then he took two more bottles for himself.

"There. Now we're all armed."

Arthur took out the last bottle before dropping the bag over Gwaine's head.

"That's how people die," Gwaine said mildly, shaking off the bag.

"It's a canvas tote," Arthur pointed out.

"Still."

Arthur bit back a smile and made sure Gwaine saw him rolling his eyes. He was feeling so warm and relaxed from the wine he'd had that he thought he really wouldn't mind if this ended up being a trap set by an old man with an axe. Leon was tall and Gwaine was ripped, so they probably still stood a chance even if Arthur was too drunk to fight.

When they reached the basement, which was the only way to access the middle or eastern part of the block without separate keys, Arthur kicked Gwaine behind the knee and led the way.

"Do we even know which flat we're going to?" Leon asked when they reached the far east lifts. "Or what floor?"

"Looked like the 15th floor," Arthur said, jabbing at the button to call the lift. "I think."

"You think?"

"Might have been 14th," Gwaine said, shrugging.

"This isn't going to end well," Leon said, sounding resigned.

"We've got photos," Arthur reminded him.

"We do?" Gwaine asked.

Arthur fought the urge to whack his wine bottle into Gwaine's head. "Yes. _You_ took them."

"Oh!"

Arthur shook his head, laughing despite himself. Gwaine never ceased to amaze.

The lift dinged as the doors opened, so they piled in and Gwaine took out his mobile.

"Okay, six floors down. So 14."

"15," Arthur corrected, but Gwaine had already pressed the button for the 14th floor. "Did you forget which floor we live on?"

"I…"

Leon laughed, looking pained. "Thank God we're going with you or you'd get yourself killed. Not because they're murderers or anything—you'd just find a way to wander into traffic on your way up to their flat."

"I resent that."

Arthur hit the button for the 15th floor since no one else seemed likely to do it. They had to wait for an awkwardly long time when the lift stopped on the 14th floor because no matter how frantically Gwaine pressed the 'CLOSE DOORS' button, the doors remained resolutely open for a full 45 seconds.

"Okay," Arthur said when they finally stepped out of the lift on the correct floor. "We want the west-facing flats, which should be…" He looked up down the hall, trying to orientate himself, but it took a little longer than it probably should have. "Okay, this side. I think. Down this end, right? Maybe second to last flat?"

He looked at Gwaine for confirmation, but Gwaine didn't seem interested in checking the photos again.

"Here goes nothing," Arthur muttered when he reached what he hoped was the correct flat.

He knocked, and then Gwaine elbowed him out of the way at the last second.

A short, pretty black woman with freckles and curly hair opened the door, smiling nervously.

"Oh, thank God," she said, looking at the three men at her door. "I was worried you'd all be old."

"Why would we be old?" Gwaine asked with the usual handsome grin on his face.

"Because you live in the penthouse."

"Fair. Well, we were worried you'd be teenagers whose parents would call the police."

"That's quite an assumption. Are any of you allergic to dogs?" When they all shook their heads, she opened the door all the way and stepped aside. "Come in. I'm Gwen, by the way. I don't actually live here, but Merlin and Freya were too afraid to answer the door."

"That's not true," another woman, presumably Freya, said as she came over to greet them. She was small and incredibly pale. Her long, black hair emphasised it, making her look even smaller and paler than she might have otherwise. She had a warm, animated smile, though. "I'm Freya. You can come in. I promise we won't call the police."

Gwaine stepped in first, holding up the wine bottles in a simulacrum of peace. "I'm Gwaine," he said. "We've brought wine."

"You—wow, you sure have." Freya took both of Gwaine's bottles and glanced over at where Arthur and Leon were entering with even more wine.

"I'm Arthur. We can bring these to the kitchen?" Arthur offered.

"Table's fine," Freya decided after a moment. She led them over to the sofa so they could deposit the bottles onto the coffee table.

Arthur glanced around as he put down the wine. Freya's living room was long and narrow, with the sofa, some arm chairs, and the telly situated near the window that still had the sticky note heart posted on it. The far end of the room was being used as a small dining area. To the right of the dining table looked to be a hallway to the bedrooms, and to the left was an archway, likely to the kitchen.

"Merlin's just finishing up the pizzas," Freya said, gesturing in that direction and confirming Arthur's guess.

"You _made_ pizza?" Gwaine asked.

"Merlin did. Hopefully it's enough, but—"

"We can make more if we need," a voice, presumably Merlin's, finished for Freya.

Arthur looked over and his stomach lurched as _Arms Guy_ walked out from the kitchen holding two large baking sheets, each with a still-bubbling homemade pizza on top. A jaunty white French Bulldog followed him, immediately coming over to sniff at Arthur's feet.

Arms Guy— _Merlin_ —set the pizzas carefully on the coffee table, nudging the wine bottles out of the way. He was beautiful up close. His neck was long and his hair was soft and the line of his nose was—elegant, maybe? Compelling, somehow.

Arthur crouched down to scratch behind the Frenchie's ears, wondering what had possessed him to just declare a man's nose _compelling_. He'd had a lot of wine, but maybe it had actually been too much.

When Arthur looked back up, Merlin was looking around at his guests. His eyes caught on Arthur for a moment, and then on Gwaine for an even longer one. Arthur tightened his grip on the dog, not sure how interpret that.

"Those pizzas look fantastic," Gwaine said, holding out his hand. "I'm Gwaine."

"Merlin. Uh… thanks for the wine," he said after a pause. He turned to Leon, who introduced himself, and then finally to Arthur, who stood back up. "You go to the Albion gym, right?" he asked, shaking Arthur's hand and offering a shy sort of smile.

Arthur just nodded. Merlin's eyes were _so_ blue, and they'd never made eye contact before, and—he hadn't offered his name yet. "Arthur."

"Cheers. That's Aithusa, by the way," Merlin said, gesturing at the French. "Well…" He glanced at Gwaine again before stepping around the table and turning on the telly. "We've got a couple of options for entertainment. If you're interested in some long sci-fi, we've got _2001: A Space Odyssey_ or _Brazil_. But if you want, uh, not long sci-fi, I was thinking maybe _Dirty Dancing_ or _Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa_."

Gwaine, who liked to be as inept as possible when he thought it didn't matter, but who also could be absurdly charming when he knew it did matter, gave a graceful shrug. "You've welcomed us into your home and cooked us dinner. It's entirely your call."

Merlin looked at Arthur, who shrugged, and then at Gwen, who also offered no vote.

"Well, if you're—oh, wait, there's another pizza. Um, battle it out amongst yourselves," Merlin said before excusing himself back to the kitchen. Gwen and the dog followed him.

Arthur turned to look at Leon, trying to ground himself.

"What?" Leon mouthed.

"Arms Guy," Arthur mouthed back, but Leon's brow just furrowed in response. "Arms—"

"What would you like to watch?" Freya asked.

" _Brazil_ could be fun," Leon said when no one else answered. "Or _Alpha Papa_. Just something funny."

"Not in the mood for a love story, Leon?" Gwaine teased. "Baby and whatever the hell the guy's name is? They're a classic. Dave and HAL, too."

"That's the worst interpretation of Kubrick I've ever heard."

Gwaine chuckled and, shrugging, turned back to Freya. "Can't go wrong with Steve Coogan, really."

Freya nodded. " _Alpha Papa_ it is, then." She moved to the bookshelf next to the telly to pick up the remote, and Arthur noticed several small rainbow flags sticking out of shot glasses on a few of the shelves.

He wondered if he could possibly be lucky enough for them to be Merlin's.

Not that he had even managed to string together a full sentence in front of Merlin yet.

"What's up?" Leon asked in a whisper.

"Arms Guy," Arthur responded, speaking as low as he possibly could.

Leon's eyes widened. "No," he said, grinning. "Really?"

Arthur nodded but was saved from having to continue the conversation by the return of Merlin, Gwen, and Aithusa. Merlin was holding a third pizza and Gwen was somehow managing to carry six wine glasses.

"What'd we decide?" Merlin asked, setting down the pizza down on a smaller side table next to the sofa.

" _Alpha Papa_ ," Gwaine said. "Have we met before? You seem… just ever so vaguely familiar, but I can't place you."

Merlin looked at Gwen, and she gave him an encouraging smile as she set down the glasses.

"Yeah," he finally answered. "We were at uni together."

Gwaine tilted his head, taking Merlin in, and Merlin flushed under the scrutiny.

Which was adorable.

"I feel like I'd remember a gorgeous guy named Merlin," Gwaine said, smiling.

"I looked a bit different back then."

Arthur glanced over at Gwen and Freya and was surprised to see them watching Merlin and Gwaine with much more serious expressions than the conversation seemed to call for. Arthur couldn't think what Merlin could mean other than that he must have lost some weight—or maybe a lot of weight—since uni.

"Shit," Gwaine said suddenly, and loudly. "Holy—wow, mate. You look _great_."

Merlin gave a nervous laugh. "Thanks, yeah."

There was another moment of silence with Merlin and Gwaine just looking at each other, and then Merlin made a dive for one of the wine bottles. He ducked back into the kitchen for a bottle opener, still followed by the dog, and came back with plates as well.

Freya started up the film while everyone rotated around the coffee table, getting pizza and wine, and then found seats. Arthur got the end of the sofa with Gwen next to him and Merlin next to her with Aithusa sitting diligently at his feet. Gwaine was sat in an arm chair near Merlin, Freya was in the opposite arm chair near Arthur, and Leon was on the floor near her.

"Are you sure you don't want the chair?" Freya asked kindly. "I really don't mind."

"No, thank you," Leon said, giving her a soft smile that had Arthur shoving pizza in his mouth to hide his own smile. "I'm fine here."

"This is really good," Gwaine said, lifting a slice of pizza in Merlin's direction. "Thank you."

"Thanks for the wine."

"Those your flags?" Gwaine asked, finally turning off his charm and reverting to his normal tactlessness.

"Yeah."

"Nice." Gwaine set his foot on the edge of the coffee table and rolled up his jeans enough to show off the rainbow-coloured infinity tattoo on his lower leg.

"Oh, cool." Merlin leaned closer to get a better look. Then he sat back and pulled off his hoodie to show Gwaine a tattoo on his upper arm.

Arthur leaned forward to peer around Gwen, but the angle didn't work and he couldn't see Merlin's ink.

He could see Merlin's t-shirt, though. It had a circle in the middle, with the standard male and female symbols coming out of it in the traditional places: an arrow on the top right and a cross on the bottom. There was a third combined symbol, a crossed arrow, on the top left. The colours of the transgender pride flag were splashed behind the design, and, for whatever reason, there was a cute cartoonish dragon curled around the circle as well.

Arthur turned back to the telly and took a long gulp of wine.

Not weight loss, then.

"Shit," Gwaine said, still admiring Merlin's tattoo. "You need to refer me to whoever did that because that is amazing. Did you design it?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. That's great."

"Thanks," Merlin said, sounding very pleased.

Arthur looked down at his plate, then up at the telly, and then at Freya, who was staring at him. He gave her what he hoped was at least a somewhat natural-looking smile. She gave him a tight-lipped smile in response before shifting in her seat to look back at the telly.

"Oh, sorry," she said, moving her leg away from where it had knocked into Leon's back.

"No worries," Leon looked around at her, that silly soft smile still on his face.

Aithusa finally decided that Merlin would be okay on his own for a few minutes and went over to inspect Leon.

"She probably won't leave you alone if you stay on the floor," Freya warned.

"That's all right."

Aithusa flopped down on her side, presenting her belly to Leon, who happily obliged in rubbing it. Freya leaned down to pat Aithusa's head, and Leon smiled up at her and said something in low voice that Arthur couldn't hear.

Arthur took a deep breath and finished off his first slice of pizza. He felt like he'd stepped into some sort of bizarro flat. Leon was being more openly flirtatious than Arthur had ever seen him be, and Arms Guy was Merlin, and Gwaine knew Merlin from uni, and the night was going so much differently than he had imagined.

He normally kept his cool so well. But he had _come in his pants_ just hours before to thoughts of Merlin, and he hadn't at all been prepared to suddenly spend the evening with the man he'd been lusting after for half a year.

Because it wasn't just lusting. It was fantasising. A _lot_ of it. Because he'd never had a reason to think they'd ever interact outside of the gym.

Arthur had really built up Arms Guy in his head as some sort of engrossing, beguiling sex god. It was hard to switch gears and try to think of _Merlin_ , the normal and friendly, albeit unreasonably gorgeous, neighbour.

He was definitely still feeling the wine he'd had while playing _Ori_. And now he was just drinking more wine. And—he hated to even acknowledge it—Gwaine was being flirtatious with Merlin. And the night probably wasn't going to go his way.

Again.

The film, or at least the bits Arthur could make himself pay attention to, was funny enough. Merlin and Gwaine had both had tears in their eyes from how hard they had laughed at various parts, but Arthur couldn't quite get into it. His head was too fuzzy from the alcohol, he couldn't keep track of the plot or most of the characters, and he could see any chance he'd ever had with Merlin fading away right in front of him. Gwaine was coming on strong, Merlin seemed more than happy about his advances, and Arthur just wanted to get back to his own flat.

When the film was done and the pizza and wine were all gone, Arthur helped Leon take all the plates and empty glasses into the kitchen while Gwaine stayed in the living room, Aithusa in his lap.

"All right?" Leon asked, carefully setting all the glasses in the sink.

"I'm fine." Arthur deposited the plates on the counter.

"I'm sure if you told Gwaine—"

"I'm fine," Arthur repeated. "It's fine. Some things are better left as a fantasy." He went back out into the living room without waiting for a response.

Gwaine was standing near the door with Gwen and Merlin, who was fixing a lead to Aithusa's collar.

"Time to go home?" Arthur asked, relieved that he wasn't going to be forced to stay any longer.

"I'm walking Gwen home," Merlin explained. "And taking Aithusa out."

"Do you live far?" Gwaine asked.

"It's about a 15-minute walk," Gwen said, pulling on her jacket.

"Can I come along?"

Arthur went back to the coffee table to get the bag he'd brought the wine in, not wanting to hear Merlin's response. In exchange for that, he was treated to overhearing Leon asking Freya out for coffee the next afternoon.

Just perfect.

Entirely done with the evening, Arthur made his way to the door and stepped out into the hall.

"Thanks for having us," he said, waving to Freya. "Goodnight."

"Any time," Freya called after him as everyone else filed out of the flat.

Arthur reached the lifts first and pressed himself as far into the back corner as he could manage, crossing his arms over his chest and avoiding looking at anyone else.

Aithusa let out a small 'ruff' as the lift began to take them down to the first floor, wagging her tail when the doors opened again.

"Thanks again for the wine," Merlin said when they were outside. "This was fun. We should do it again sometime."

Arthur's brain sluggishly came up with the thought that this could be his moment to make his interests known, if only he could get his act together and ask for Merlin's number.

"Our place next time," Gwaine said cheerily. "We've got a bigger telly."

"I don't doubt it," Merlin teased.

"Thanks for the pizza," Leon said, shaking Merlin's hand and then bending down to scratch behind Aithusa's ears.

"Yeah," Arthur echoed. "Thanks."

Aithusa chose that moment to bolt for the nearest patch of grass and interrupt Merlin's attempt to shake Arthur's hand.

"All right," Merlin chuckled. "Guess we're on our way. Have a good night."

"Goodnight!" Gwen waved before following Merlin and Aithusa, and Gwaine hurried after them as well.

"Well," Arthur said, watching the trio head toward the pavement, "fuck this whole night."

"Mate—"

"Kidding," Arthur said, forcing a smile. "I don't know about you, but I've had far too much wine and need to drag my sorry arse to bed."

Leon paused, perhaps wondering if he should push back against Arthur's insistence that everything was fine, but then nodded. "Yeah. You need your beauty rest."

"Fuck off." Arthur kicked at Leon's ankles, and Leon laughed as he led the way across the courtyard to the west tower's entrance.

~~~

Merlin wasn't ready for the weekend to be over. Not that he didn't have ample liberty to do as he pleased during the work week, since he had a home office and was self-employed, but the weekends still _felt_ more freeing, more relaxing, more open to possibilities.

And this weekend had been a particularly good one. On Friday, he'd had a nice, quiet evening in with a new graphic novel and some good beer. On Saturday he'd got in an energising early-morning workout at the gym, helped Freya and Gwen set up a bizarre new form of communication with the neighbours, made several pizzas from scratch, and then hosted a successful film night with new friends.

Or old friends, as it had turned out. Although maybe that was a stretch, as he and Gwaine hadn't actually been friends at uni. At most, they'd been vague acquaintances. They'd had some mutual friends and had bumped into each other at various exhibitions or events, but they hadn't really known each other.

Merlin had always admired Gwaine, though, even if it was from afar. Gwaine was so confident and gregarious, which had been alluring during a time when Merlin had been trying so desperately to figure out who he really was and how he wanted, and needed, to live his life.

It was odd to have Gwaine pop back up after so many years, and in such a fortuitous way, but Merlin wasn't going to complain. Gwaine was attractive and funny and interested in Merlin.

At least, that's how it had seemed for most of the film night. Gwaine had flirted and invited himself along when Merlin walked Gwen home with Aithusa. But then, when they'd got back to their block of flats, he'd simply shaken Merlin's hand and gone home without asking for Merlin's number.

Merlin supposed that Gwaine could probably find him pretty easily on Facebook, or maybe he would just continue on with the public sticky note conversation. Maybe he had changed his mind or simply never been interested in the first place. Maybe he was just really, _really_ friendly.

It any case, Merlin had been so thrown by the casual departure that he hadn't thought to ask for Gwaine's number, either, so he'd returned to his flat with nothing and spent the rest of the night in his room, zoning out to YouTube videos on his mobile.

The next morning he'd gone to the gym again, and after that he had spent the rest of the day continuing to read the graphic novel he'd started on Friday, occasionally getting distracted by Freya's _Great British Bake Off_ marathon.

But now it was Sunday evening, and he wasn't completely ready to let go of the weekend, so he was lying in his bed and scrolling through Grindr. He hadn't opened the app in at least a month, since he'd recently found a fuck buddy through Tinder. They hadn't so much as texted each other in two weeks, though, and Merlin didn't have that much patience.

He tried a few different search filters, hoping to find someone that piqued his interest. Mostly what he found were uninspiring thumbnails.

When the same tiny photo popped up under multiple searches, Merlin finally relented and tapped on the profile. The first photo—and why Merlin hadn't initially been intrigued—was of less than half of the side of the man's face and part of his shoulder. The main focus was on the view in the background, which had been unidentifiable in the small thumbnail, but now turned out to be a cityscape from an all too familiar area.

Merlin swiped to the next photo and wasn't entirely surprised to see Arthur's face staring back at him. He was smiling in this second photo, his slightly crooked teeth on display, and the upper half of his bare chest was visible, too.

He had some very nice collarbones.

There was only one more photo on Arthur's profile, and it looked to be from someone's wedding. He was in a suit, looking slightly dishevelled from drinking and dancing, and inexplicably waving his arms above his head.

Merlin looked at the photo for a while, trying in vain to figure out what Arthur was supposed to be doing. Was he awkwardly stretching? Inventing a new dance that involved pretending to climb a ladder? Attempting to praise the sun? Was there a helicopter above him?

Giving up on deciphering the image, Merlin scrolled to the rest of Arthur's profile, but it was sparse. There were only a few stats—he was two years older than Merlin and three centimetres shorter—and the bio just read 'destiny and chicken,' which was mildly amusing.

Merlin rolled onto his stomach and set his mobile on the bed. He debated whether he should send a message to Arthur, just to say hi, or to take the piss about his strange dance moves, or to ask about the chicken.

But if Arthur didn't respond—if he wasn't interested—what would happen the next time they were at the gym together?

Probably nothing, since nothing had happened any of the other times they'd been at the gym together, but Merlin didn't want it to be awkward. Even if it was only awkward for himself, in his own head, he didn't want that.

Because if he could manage to avoid making it awkward, maybe Merlin could actually talk to Arthur at the gym. Normally Merlin just got in and out of there as stealthily as he could, avoiding eye contact and conversation as much as possible. But he wouldn't mind getting to know Arthur a bit more.

Arthur had always been on Merlin's radar, with his sweaty blond hair and soft-looking lips and broad chest and eyes so blue that Merlin could tell their colour from halfway across the room. Maybe they could drum up a friendship at the gym—they could work out together on occasion, sit in the sauna together, or walk home with each other.

And then maybe Merlin could test the waters, now he knew that Arthur liked men. And maybe if they got to know each other a bit more, Merlin would be able to tell if Arthur might be interested in him. Maybe they could come together gradually, with glances and touches and mounting tensions, and then, finally, fireworks.

Or maybe not. Arthur had been pretty closed off during the film night, focused mostly on drinking and the occasional opportunity to pet Aithusa. He really hadn't said much at all. Merlin wasn't even sure if he'd had a good time or if he'd been forced to accompany Gwaine against his will.

Still, Arthur was exceedingly nice to look at, and it would be nice to have someone to talk to at the gym for once, even if that was all it ever was.

Before he had finished weighing out his options, Merlin got a new message from someone else.

**\- Hey you ;)**

It was from Gwaine. Merlin hurried to his profile, wondering how he had never seen or recognised Gwaine on the app before.

Most likely it was because Gwaine's first photo was of him in sunglasses, facing almost entirely away from the camera as he stared out over the London skyline during sunset. It looked like it had been taken from his penthouse flat. Maybe Arthur had taken it for him.

The next few photos were the shirtless torsos with bulging chest and arm muscles typical of Grindr profiles. Despite the pensive first photo, Gwaine's profile was clearly more about sex than anything else. He didn't even have a bio.

- _Hi. Nice abs_

- **Thank you, I made them just for you**

- _That's very generous of you_  
_What are you up to tonight?_

- **Listening to Leon gush about his afternoon with Freya. Are you not being treated to the same torture?**

- _No, she's more tight-lipped than that. She's just been watching GBBO since she got back from their coffee_

- **Clearly she is pining madly for him**

- _Honestly, she might be. She has been smiling a lot_

- **That's sweet**  
**So, I was hoping I'd find you on here**

Merlin's heart thumped and he turned onto his back again, wide awake.

- _Yeah?_

- **Yeah. I've seen your profile before but didn't realise it was you**  
**I thought you were cute**  
**Wasn't sure who you go for**

Merlin bit his lip. Gwaine was hinting at something, asking some unstated question, but Merlin couldn't quite grasp the angle enough to properly respond.

- _Men, generally_

- **Figured that much, considering the app and all**  
**I guess I mean, do you go for cis men**

Merlin smirked. He got all sorts of weird messages on Grindr about his gender and his genitals, but he didn't think anyone had ever voiced worry about him only being interested in other trans men before.

- _Any type of men_

- **Good. How late do you normally stay up on work nights?**

- _Doesn't matter, my schedule is flexible. You?_

- **Same**  
**Want to come over?**  
**Or I could come to you**  
**Or we could video chat**  
**Or wait until another time if that's too fast**  
**I'm happy to wine & dine you**

Merlin slipped a hand under the sheets and dragged his fingers over his pants. If he agreed to this, it would be first time he slept with someone who had known him back then, before he'd really embraced himself as _Merlin_. It hadn't ever occurred to him that anyone who knew how he'd used to be would be interested in who he was now.

Also, if he agreed to this, he might be thwarting his own chances with Arthur.

But Arthur was a complete unknown, and he'd shown absolutely no interest in Merlin, even as a friend, whereas Gwaine was friendly and obviously interested and, apparently, available. Like, available right now. No slow build necessary. They could get right to the fireworks.

- _You're welcome here if you want an escape from Leon_

- **Give me 15**  
**Should I knock when I get there?**

- _Text me_

Merlin sent his number and scrambled out of bed and into the bath to clean up and make sure he looked okay. He looked tired—it was late, after all—and a little dishevelled from lying in bed. He ran a wet comb through his hair a few times, but, as usual, that did very little to tame it.

Back in his room, Merlin changed into clean boxer briefs and then pulled on jeans and a purple t-shirt. He had just finished remaking his bed when his mobile buzzed with a text from an unknown number.

**Here**

To give himself at least the illusion of not being too eager, Merlin took the time to add Gwaine as a contact before he went out to the living room.

Freya was still there, watching _Bake Off_.

"Don't you have work in the morning?" Merlin asked, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead.

"Weren't you already in your pyjamas?" she asked. "Are you going somewhere?"

"No, but I've got someone coming over. He's just out there."

"I suppose that's my cue, then." Freya grabbed the remote, and Merlin decided he didn't want to wait for her to the leave room.

He opened the door and found Gwaine in the hall, dressed in jeans and an alarmingly tight long-sleeved shirt.

"Hey," Gwaine said, grinning.

"Hey." Merlin stepped aside, letting Gwaine in, and bit down a laugh at the look on Freya's face.

"Hello again," Gwaine said casually, as if she should have been expecting him.

"Hi," Freya said, nodding her head in greeting before giving Merlin a very unsubtle look that clearly read, 'I have questions and you are answering them tomorrow.'

"Can I get you some water?" Merlin asked Gwaine in an attempt to break the tension.

Gwaine shrugged. "Sure, yeah. That'd be very nice."

Merlin went into the kitchen, and when he came back with two glasses of water, Freya was gone and Gwaine was sitting on the floor with Aithusa.

"She's a lot happier to see me than Freya was," Gwaine said, scratching at Aithusa's rear end, which she had enthusiastically presented to him.

"Were you trying to give Freya butt scritches? Because, I have to say, she is not a fan."

Gwaine sniggered and stood to take his water. "Does she sleep in your room?"

"Freya? No, we finally got rid of our bunk beds last week."

"You're having a fun evening, aren't you?" Gwaine teased.

Merlin shrugged and took a sip from his glass. The truth was that he was nervous, and he covered up his nerves by talking _a lot_ , and he really just wanted to get to the main attraction so that he could stop feeling anxious about how it was going to go.

"Aithusa sleeps in my office," he explained, "which is between my room and Freya's."

"So, we don't have to be too quiet?" Gwaine asked, grinning again.

Merlin returned the smile and led the way to his room. Aithusa tried to follow, so Merlin had to keep shoving her back into the hallway. Finally, he resorted to telling her sternly to 'sit' and 'stay,' and then he was able to close the door.

When he turned around, Gwaine was on him immediately, pressing him against the door, licking up his neck, and reaching around to grope his arse.

"How do you feel about butt scritches?" Gwaine asked, his question a little muffled since he was basically speaking into Merlin's jaw.

"There's definitely better things we can find to do with my butt."

Gwaine chuckled and gave Merlin's earlobe a gentle nip before stepping back and looking around for somewhere to put his glass. He settled for the top of Merlin's bureau, and Merlin barely had time to set his own glass down before Gwaine was going to town on his neck again.

Merlin quickly got his hands in Gwaine's hair, which he was happy to find really was as soft as it looked, and started walking them backward toward his bed.

"What do you like?" Gwaine asked, already working on unzipping Merlin's jeans. "Anything off limits?"

Merlin stepped out of his jeans, and Gwaine reached for his shirt next, but he held Gwaine's hands to his hips instead.

"I'm keeping on the rest of my clothes. You can fuck me in the arse, but that's it. Hands away from the front. I'll do whatever you want to you, though. Within reason."

Gwaine smiled slowly, licking his lips. "Within reason?"

"I'm not going to suck whipped cream off your cock. Not tonight, at least."

Gwaine moved closer and flicked his tongue into Merlin's ear. "I'll have to cancel my takeaway order, then."

Merlin rolled his eyes and pushed Gwaine down on his bed, ready to get on with it.

Luckily, Gwaine was on the same page, and it didn't take very long at all for him to be naked and for Merlin to be face down on his bed with Gwaine gripping a fistful of his hair as they moved together. The back of Merlin's pants were pushed down just far enough for Gwaine to fuck him, and Merlin had one hand shoved down the front of them, his thumb and forefinger tugging on his dick. His other arm was under his forehead, keeping him from shoving his face into his sheets and suffocating on his moans.

Gwaine felt really good. He sounded good, too, his deep grunts and the occasional 'Fuck, Merlin,' pushing Merlin closer to the edge. Merlin wanted to come so badly, had been wanting to come as soon as Gwaine had propositioned him, had been in need of a good fuck for weeks.

Gwaine let go of Merlin's hair and moved his hands to Merlin's hips, pulling them against his own as he thrust harder. Merlin let out an embarrassing noise as his arse started clamping, contracting around Gwaine's dick each time it was fully inside him. His muscles were pulsing and he was losing his breath—he was going to come.

"Oh, fuck," he gasped before shoving his hips hard back against Gwaine's. He groaned through clenched teeth, pointlessly trying to keep reasonably quiet as his whole body rocked and shook with the force of his orgasm.

Gwaine fucked him through it, and he started feeling weak as they continued with that same slow, rough pace that had made him come. Merlin rubbed his dick for as long as he could stand, but eventually it got too sensitive and he pulled his hand out of his pants.

"God, you're hot," Gwaine panted as he started moving a little faster. "Can I turn you over?"

Merlin managed a murmur of assent, and Gwaine pulled out, leaving his arse clenching around nothing. He rolled over and spread his legs before remembering that he was in his briefs. Still in a slow haze from how hard he had come, he was considering just taking them off and letting whatever happen, but then Gwaine lifted his legs and yanked the briefs up enough to be able to slide back in.

Gwaine looked incredible moving over Merlin like that, his long brown hair sweaty and pushed off his forehead. His lips were red and bitten, a ring he wore on a chain around his neck was swinging against his chest, and his brown eyes were dark from lust. His face was flushed and his mouth was open—it was a better sight than Merlin could have imagined.

Bracing his heels on Gwaine's shoulders, Merlin tried to focus on getting Gwaine to come, but, after another minute, it was clear that his own body wasn't done yet. He reached back into his pants and huffed, his hips bucking when he touched his cock. It was too sensitive still, but also throbbing with want, and it didn't take long for the want to turn in to need and the need to turn into another orgasm.

"Christ." Gwaine grunted, and Merlin barely registered Gwaine's fingers digging into his thighs as his head swam. "Are you—fuck, I'm gonna—are you—"

"Yeah," Merlin moaned, still rubbing himself and drawing out the pleasure as much as he could. He lifted his hips in time with Gwaine's thrusts, wanting to feel Gwaine coming inside him. "Yeah, come on." He clenched the muscles in his arse with as much strength as he could muster. "Let me see you come for me."

Gwaine gave a stuttering moan on his next exhale and then he lost his rhythm, his hips jerking gracelessly against Merlin as he came.

Merlin continued rolling his hips as Gwaine slumped, spent and mostly held up by Merlin's feet on his shoulders.

"Fuck, that was good," Gwaine said, finally releasing his grip on Merlin's thighs.

Merlin dropped his legs to the bed as Gwaine moved away to dispose of the condom. He pulled his pants back up over his arse and brushed his fingers across the red marks on his thighs, thinking that he'd probably have bruises in the morning from how hard Gwaine had been grabbing him.

"Shit," Gwaine said, leaning down to kiss Merlin's hand and then his thigh. "I'm sorry. Does that hurt?"

"It didn't at the time," Merlin assured him.

Gwaine kissed the back of Merlin's hand again before sucking Merlin's slick fingers into his mouth. Merlin smiled and lay back on his pillows as Gwaine licked him clean.

"You taste good," Gwaine said when he was done. He lifted the hem of Merlin's t-shirt and pressed a kiss to Merlin's hipbone, and Merlin jerked a little at the ticklish sensation of Gwaine's stubble against his skin.

Gwaine grinned, gave Merlin's hip another kiss, and tugged his shirt back down.

"I mean it, you know," he said as he rolled onto his back next to Merlin.

"Mean what?"

"That you taste good." He brushed his hand against Merlin's. "Do you ever get naked and let guys get gross with you?"

Merlin snorted. "That's a weird way of putting it, but yes. Just usually not the first time."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Merlin looked over at Gwaine and grinned. "Greedy."

"Not my fault you're so attractive."

"It most certainly is."

Gwaine chuckled and propped himself up on his elbows. "Well. Shall I leave you to get some sleep?"

"If you want." Merlin reached out to trail his fingers along the hairs covering Gwaine's thighs. "I don't mind if you want to sleep here. If you think going back to Leon is too much of a risk."

"I'm sure he's moved on to bothering Arthur." Gwaine sat up and looked down at Merlin for a long moment. "Next time, yeah?"

Merlin nodded and forced himself to get off the bed as Gwaine got dressed.

When he was ready and there wasn't anything else for him to do but leave, Gwaine downed the glass of water Merlin had given him earlier in two long gulps.

"One more for my baby," he said, lifting the empty glass as if he were toasting Merlin. "And one more for the road." With that, he drank Merlin's water as well.

Merlin laughed and opened his bedroom door, only just stepping out of the way of Aithusa rushing in. She climbed up the doggie stairs at the foot of the bed and started sniffing around the rumpled sheets.

"That's… your poor innocent dog is sticking her nose right up my dick."

"I don't think that's physically possible, and, if it were, it certainly wouldn't be legal."

"Tell that to her," Gwaine said as he followed Merlin out to the living room.

"Thanks for coming over," Merlin said as he unlocked the front door. He never really knew what to say at the end of a night like this.

Gwaine slipped a hand into Merlin's pants and gave his arse a firm squeeze. "Thanks for coming."

Merlin smirked and shoved Gwaine out into the hall. "See you around, yeah?"

Gwaine leaned in to give Merlin's neck a soft kiss, and then another, and then a third. "Yeah. Sleep well." He stepped away and gave Merlin a cocky wink before heading for the lifts.

Merlin waited until Gwaine was in a lift—Gwaine entertained Merlin during the wait by smacking his own arse a few times—and then went back to his room. Aithusa was already gone, probably back in her own bed in Merlin's office. Merlin forced himself to change back into his proper pyjamas and clean himself up a little in the bathroom, and then he collapsed on his bed and fell asleep breathing in the scent of Gwaine's hair on his pillow.

~

Merlin slept in late on Monday morning. When he woke up, he went for a long run and then cooled down by taking Aithusa for a walk. After that he tidied up the kitchen and the living room before finally settling in his office to work.

The windows in his office faced the same direction as the ones in the living room, giving a nice view of the west tower and a less nice view of the city beyond. He was somewhat disappointed to see that someone had taken down the sticky notes from the penthouse windows.

He wondered how Gwaine, Arthur, and Leon could even afford a penthouse flat. Maybe one of them was a pilot, or a spy, or the Queen's personal physician.

Merlin realised that he didn't know what any of them did. There hadn't been much small talk during the film, and there'd been even less with Gwaine the night before.

Making a mental note to ask Gwaine what his job was the next time they hooked up, Merlin put on a podcast and got to work.

On Tuesday night, after two slightly boring days of his typical routine and of dodging questions from Freya, Merlin decided to reach back out to Gwaine. He sprawled out on the sofa with an old episode of _Would I Lie to You?_ playing on the telly and spent a few minutes searching the internet for lame jokes before crafting his text.

_What do the Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?_

Gwaine's response came almost immediately.

**Do tell**

_Icy dead people_

**Spoilers! Rude**

_If it's been TWO DECADES, it's not a spoiler_

**You're not a spoiler**

_Interesting. Tell me more about myself_

**You have very long legs. Like a giraffe. Or a spider**

_Oh fuck, can you imagine a giraffe-sized spider? ___

**I can, but I prefer not to. I'd rather imagine a giraffe with 8 legs**

_What would you name him?_

**Lord Wiggles**

_Sounds like a very special lad_

**He's my best friend. He sleeps in our loft**

_You have a loft?_

**Maybe. I could be lying. Only one way to find out**

_Do you need me to accompany you on a surveying expedition of your own flat?_

**Yes. Please. I'll get lost without your long legs to lead the way**

_You're fucking weird, did you know that?_

**You are weird and I am fucking you, so yes I did know that**

Merlin smiled to himself and rolled off the sofa to get ready to go over to Gwaine's. He rinsed off quickly in the shower, threw on some clean clothes, made sure Aithusa's water bowl was full, and headed out.

Merlin didn't love the basement of their building, but he decided he might as well put in the effort to get up to the penthouse so that Gwaine wouldn't have to come all the way down to the entrance of the west tower to let him in. The basement was entirely empty—anything that might have been down there was locked behind heavy, windowless doors set into the corridor—but there were so many corners to navigate from the east end to the west end that it felt like someone or something could be waiting to jump out at Merlin any moment.

Like a rat.

Or like Gwaine, who was actually waiting by the west lifts when Merlin reached them.

"I'm not sure if it's sweet or creepy that you came down here to meet me."

"Probably both," Gwaine said, grinning.

He tugged Merlin into the lifts and swiped a keycard that allowed him to select the button for the top floor.

The ride was awkward, with neither of them touching or speaking or even making eye contact. Just as Merlin was wondering if he should push Gwaine against the wall and kiss him already, the lift dinged and came to a stop.

They stepped out into a small, bare foyer, and then Gwaine unlocked a door on the other side and led him into the penthouse.

The first thing Merlin noticed was how unreasonably high the ceilings were. The second thing was that the living and dining room area was probably the same size as Merlin and Freya's entire flat. The third thing was the loft, tucked away in a corner above what looked to be a smaller version of the main living room that was separated by a grand floor-to-ceiling bookshelf.

"So there is a loft," Merlin said, too impressed by the flat to come up with any sort of joke.

"Yeah. We never use it. Mostly because of the smell. Giraffes are not very clean, you know."

"No," Merlin chuckled. "I don't imagine Lord Wiggles would be coordinated enough to use a broom."

"Eight legs and still a disappointment." Gwaine sighed wistfully. "Want to see?"

Merlin nodded, so Gwaine headed up to the loft and Merlin followed. He could see right away that Gwaine had really meant that they never used it. The only things there were a few dusty, mismatched arm chairs, a large stereo system, and a soft rug that took up most of the floor.

"Smell's not that bad," Merlin said. He turned to lean over the low wall that enclosed the loft and took in the view of the rest of the flat. He couldn't imagine having so much space to live in.

Gwaine pressed himself against Merlin's back, running his hands over Merlin's chest and stomach.

"Where are your flatmates?" Merlin asked. He pushed his arse back and was gratified to hear Gwaine's small gasp at the pressure.

"In their rooms being boring." Gwaine pressed a kiss to the back of Merlin's neck and dragged one of his hands lower until he could cup Merlin's crotch. "Want to fuck up here?"

Merlin shivered at the thought. "They won't come out?"

"They never do." Gwaine lifted the hem of Merlin's shirt to get at his skin, and then he went straight for Merlin's nipples.

Merlin huffed and rocked back against Gwaine, feeling Gwaine's dick hardening against his arse. Gwaine was so hot and so confident about what he wanted, and Merlin was already wet.

"Will you let me see you?" Gwaine asked into Merlin's hair.

"Are you serious about doing this up here?"

"Yeah. We can go to my room if you want, but—"

Merlin turned around and pulled off Gwaine's shirt, followed by his own. Gwaine immediately ducked down to suck on one of his nipples, and he bit down a groan and threaded his fingers through Gwaine's hair.

"Do you have condoms?" he asked when Gwaine licked back up to his neck. "Lube?"

"Give me, like, 30 seconds?"

Before Merlin could respond, Gwaine was gone, running down the stairs and dashing across the flat. Merlin grinned and shed the rest of his clothes quickly. He reached down to stroke himself, his dick already swollen and stiff.

When Gwaine returned, the look on his face was very much worth the wait. Gwaine crowded Merlin against the low wall again, tugging on Merlin's earlobe with his teeth as he worked to rid himself of his clothes. Merlin helped, and when Gwaine was finally naked, Merlin dropped to his knees and took Gwaine's cock into his mouth.

"Oh," Gwaine breathed, grabbing at Merlin's hair. "That's—" He cut himself off with a groan when Merlin pulled on his balls. "Yeah, fuck."

Merlin carried on, thoroughly enjoying himself and occasionally reaching down to rub his own cock, which always made Gwaine groan deeper and tighten his grip on Merlin's hair.

Eventually, Gwaine stepped back and pulled Merlin up, pushing at his waist until Merlin turned around and braced himself on the half wall. Gwaine coated two fingers in lube and Merlin hung his head as Gwaine started fingering his arse.

When Gwaine's other hand started to make it's way toward Merlin's dick, Merlin grabbed his wrist and held his hand down on the wall's ledge.

"No touching," he said, more because he enjoyed making Gwaine wait than because he was uncomfortable with Gwaine touching him there.

"Okay," Gwaine agreed and pulled his hand away to tweak one of Merlin's nipples instead.

Merlin gasped and was about to reach up with his own hand to do the same with his other nipple when he saw something move down below. He froze—his body erupting in goosebumps from the very real possibility of getting caught—and watched as Arthur wandered out from a hallway and into the kitchen. He was shirtless.

"Arthur's in the kitchen," he whispered.

"Yeah?" Gwaine asked, not bothering to lower his voice. "Does that make you hot?" He tugged on Merlin's nipple to punctuate the question, and Merlin had to cover his mouth to muffle the sound he made.

"Yeah," Merlin whispered when he'd got control over himself. "But I still don't actually want—"

He cut himself off as Arthur came back out from the kitchen— _still shirtless_ —and disappeared down the hallway again.

Gwaine nipped at the back of Merlin's neck and pulled out his fingers. "Ready?"

"Very. Sit near the wall."

Gwaine smiled and turned to slide down the wall until he was on the floor, then scooted forward a few inches with his legs crossed. Merlin knelt down and lowered his arse onto Gwaine's dick until he was completely full and sitting in Gwaine's lap with his legs wrapped around Gwaine's waist.

"Fuck," Gwaine muttered, leaning his head against Merlin's chest.

"All right?" Merlin asked, waiting for Gwaine to nod before he began rocking his hips.

Gwaine wrapped his arms around Merlin's back and started pressing open-mouthed kisses to his collarbone as they built up a rhythm.

The position was a little too intimate for a casual second fuck, so Merlin leaned back and, grabbing Gwaine's chin so he would look up, asked, "Are we ordering pizza after this, or what?"

Gwaine snorted and put his hands on the floor behind him so he could thrust up harder. "Sure, what toppings do you like?"

"Sausage," Merlin said, and then he winked.

Gwaine actually _giggled_ at that and lifted Merlin off him so he could rotate and lie down on the floor instead. He climbed back on, riding Gwaine so quickly his muscles started burning almost immediately, and began pulling on his cock.

"God _damn_ ," Gwaine groaned. He got his hands around Merlin's arse, helping Merlin keep up the pace. "Do you ever let guys fuck you in…" Gwaine trailed off and frowned, lifting his hips up against Merlin's thrusts to make up for the awkward silence.

"In the front," Merlin supplied. "Sometimes. You interested?"

Gwaine nodded and bit down on his lip as Merlin somehow found the strength to go even faster. "Christ, you're going to make me come if you keep that up."

"Do you not want to come?" Merlin teased. He shifted his hand enough to let Gwaine get a better view of him touching his dick, and Gwaine's fingers dug into his arse. "I want to come. If you come first, I'm going to straddle your face— _ah_ —and come inches away from your mouth, using my hands and make— _oh, fuck_ —make you watch even though you can't touch."

Gwaine's hips bucked and he slammed his head down on the rug, coming with a shout he barely managed to smother with his fist. Merlin rode Gwaine's dick for as long as it was hard and then did as he had promised. He leaned over, one hand on the floor and one hand on his cock, and gave an up close and personal show as he brought himself off directly over Gwaine's mouth.

When he came, Merlin struggled not to make too much noise, but Gwaine didn't bother at all. He grabbed at Merlin's arse and the backs of Merlin's thighs, moaning, _whimpering_ , grinding his teeth with how much he apparently wanted to get his mouth on Merlin's dick. Gwaine was so eager and so easy to please, and he made Merlin feel so hot and dirty when they fucked, and all of that just made Merlin want to come again and again and again.

He continued rubbing himself long after he finished coming, just to tease Gwaine some more, until finally rolling to the side and collapsing on the floor.

"Fucking hell," Gwaine said.

Merlin smirked and lifted his head to see that Gwaine had removed the condom and was already hard again.

"Was that good for you?" Merlin asked.

Gwaine punched Merlin on the shoulder. "No." He sat up and ran a hand over his mouth. "Do you really want that pizza, or…"

"Or do I want you to take me to your room so we can fuck again on your bed?"

Gwaine grinned. "Yeah, or that."

"First the fucking," Merlin said, sitting up. "Then the pizza. Then more fucking."

"Perfect."

~

Merlin woke up the next morning nauseous from hunger because they'd forgotten to ever order the pizza. He rolled over, misjudging his position on the bed, and landed half on top of Gwaine.

"What?" Gwaine muttered.

Merlin turned onto his side and brushed his fingers over Gwaine's chest. "Hey."

Gwaine murmured something unintelligible, his eyes still closed.

"Do you want breakfast?"

"Mmm."

Merlin smiled and pressed a kiss to Gwaine's shoulder. "Gwaine. Wake up. Just for a minute."

Gwaine grunted but managed to open one eye. "What?"

"I need food. Do you want breakfast? I can make something if you want. Or I can head back to mine."

Gwaine heaved a sigh and opened his other eye. "Are you honestly offering to cook me breakfast?"

"Yeah. It's the least I can do considering how many times you made me come last night."

Gwaine smirked and ran a hand through Merlin's hair. " _You_ made you come. Because you are very selfish."

Merlin gave Gwaine's shoulder another kiss. "Yeah, you're basically just a sentient dildo."

Gwaine laughed, the lines around his mouth and eyes taking over his whole face. "You're so nice to me."

"I am literally trying to make you breakfast here."

"Right. Right, yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Help yourself to whatever you find in the kitchen."

Merlin bit lightly at Gwaine's arm before getting out of bed. He found his clothes near the door in the heap Gwaine had dropped them in when they'd come in from the loft and got dressed in Gwaine's en suite before heading out to the kitchen.

He hated the kitchen immediately. It was three times the size of his and had enough counter space that he and Gwaine could have fucked on top of the cupboards. And all of the appliances looked new and painfully expensive.

The fridge was suspiciously low-stocked for three grown men, though. After taking note of all the options, and inspecting all of the cupboards, Merlin decided on waffles. There was a waffle maker on the counter next to the kettle, and it looked like it had never even been used.

He was just pouring in batter for the first waffle when Arthur came in, looking bleary and wearing only a pair of tartan pyjama bottoms.

Arthur stopped in his tracks and stared at Merlin, his expression completely blank, for long enough that Merlin had to turn away to finish pouring the batter and close the waffle maker.

"Am I…" Arthur glanced around. "Am I dreaming, or…"

"Yes," Merlin said as he flipped the iron in its stand. "I'm the waffle fairy. Haven't you dreamt of me before?"

"You're not usually wearing so many clothes."

Merlin burst out laughing, and Arthur went red all the way down to his bare chest.

"Sorry, I—"

"No, no, please don't apologise," Merlin said, still laughing. "Don't ruin this moment for me."

Arthur smiled bashfully and took a seat at the kitchen island. "Are you actually going to tell me what you're doing and how you got in, or would that ruin the moment as well?"

Merlin could tell from Arthur's nonplussed expression that he genuinely didn't know the answer to those questions. Maybe he hadn't fully woken up yet.

"Gwaine invited me over. Last night."

"Oh," Arthur said, shifting his gaze to the waffle maker. "Sorry. I didn't realise he'd had company."

Merlin shrugged and, since Arthur was still looking away, used the opportunity to take in Arthur's unkempt morning appearance. His hair looked staticky, like it would shock anyone who tried to tame it with their bare hands, his eyes were a little red, and he still had the ghost of pillow lines on his face. Most importantly, he was half naked. There was a smattering of dark hair on his chest, and it really helped to emphasise his pecs.

Gwaine's body was ridiculous. He had abs for days, a nice, compact chest, and an unreasonably firm backside. Arthur was clearly fit as well, but he seemed slightly softer, more inviting. His chest looked it would be comfortable to use as a pillow—as opposed to Gwaine's, which was like a slab of concrete—and his abs were visible but not obscene, and mostly he just looked very cuddly. And warm somehow, despite being half naked.

The light on the waffle maker came on, pulling Merlin back into the moment a second too late—Arthur had definitely just noticed him staring.

Merlin tugged the waffle onto a plate and set it down on the island counter.

"Want the first one?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Go on."

"Thank you." Arthur stood to get butter from the fridge but seemed to change his mind at the last second and ended up pulling out a carton of ice cream from the freezer instead.

"That's very decadent," Merlin said as he poured in batter for the next waffle.

"Haven't you heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day?" Arthur asked as he took out some cutlery from a drawer.

"Yes, but that doesn't explain the ice cream. That's more of a reason why you _shouldn't_ have ice cream for breakfast, surely," Merlin teased as he closed the iron and flipped it.

Arthur shrugged and heaped a large scoop of ice cream on top of his waffle. "Maybe all this sugar will be a nice break from downing myself in coffee all day."

"That's an odd job description."

Arthur rolled his eyes and took a large bite of his breakfast.

"What do you do, by the way?" Merlin asked. "It never came up on Saturday."

"I am a biomedical engineer," Arthur said without any elaboration.

"I don't know what that means, but it sounds very, um…"

Arthur waited patiently for Merlin to finish his sentence, offering no support and continuing on with his meal.

"Nerdy," Merlin finally said.

Arthur smiled as he took another bite. "Yeah," he said around a mouthful of waffle. "I'll take that as a compliment and agree."

"It wasn't a compliment," Merlin assured him. "It was neutral, at best."

Arthur shrugged, unperturbed.

Merlin pulled out the second waffle and poured in batter for a third before helping himself to a large bite.

"These are nice," he decided. "Thanks for the ingredients."

"You're welcome, I guess. Where is Gwaine, anyway? Surely you're meant to be having breakfast together?"

"Still sleeping, I think. I might have to bring him breakfast in bed to get him to wake up properly." When Arthur didn't respond to that, Merlin asked, "So, what does a bio-whatever do?"

Arthur dragged a piece of waffle through the melted ice cream on his plate and ate it before responding. "Well, right now I'm working on prosthetic hands—specifically wrists. Trying to improve their range of motion," he flexed his fingers as he rolled his wrist to demonstrate, "and ideally offer some semblance of a sensory feedback system, but that's really another pair of shoes."

Merlin's hand hovered over his plate, a piece of waffle dangling, forgotten, off the end of his fork. "You design artificial limbs?"

Arthur nodded and continued on with his breakfast, reminding Merlin to do the same.

"That sounds extremely complex," Merlin finally said.

Arthur smirked. "Putting it mildly, yes."

"Do you have like… seven degrees, or something?"

"About that number, yeah. Light's on."

Merlin only just managed to get the waffle out before it burned. It was more crispy than fluffy, but Arthur took it, anyway.

"What do you do?" he asked, adding another scoop of ice cream to his plate.

"Nothing nearly as impressive as you," Merlin said as he poured more batter into the waffle maker.

"Well, in that case, I don't actually care to know."

Merlin chuckled, feeling he deserved that, and decided to have some ice cream while he waited for the next waffle to be done.

"I work on video games. Really life-changing stuff, that."

Somehow, Arthur still looked impressed. "Yeah? What does that involve? Like, game mechanics?"

"Nah, just art."

Arthur finished off his second waffle in a few large bites. "Do you draw characters?"

"Sometimes, yeah. I'm working as a freelance concept artist right now, so I do a bit of everything, really. Characters, environments, whatever's needed."

"That's fascinating," Arthur said, and Merlin wasn't sure if he was joking. "Have you worked on anything I might know?"

"Depends on what sorts of games you play."

Arthur glanced at the time on the microwave. "I'd show you, but I do need to get myself ready for work. Maybe next time?"

"Next time I make breakfast for Gwaine? Sure, it's a date."

Arthur coughed, blushing, and got up to dump his plate in the sink. "You can leave the dishes when you're done. I'll take care of them when I get home."

"Okay." Merlin frowned down at the waffle maker, feeling oddly dismissed due to Arthur's sudden business-like tone. "Have a good day?"

"Thanks," Arthur said, offering a smile. "And thanks for breakfast."

"'Course."

Arthur nodded, paused in the doorway for a second, and then headed off toward his room.

When it was done, Merlin took the next waffle to Gwaine and used it to lure him out of bed and into the kitchen for more.

~~~

Arthur forced himself to read through the first few pages of a detailed—and exceedingly boring—research paper during his commute so that he wouldn't think about Merlin.

Merlin looking ridiculous with his bedhead.

Merlin making waffles.

Merlin creating art for video games.

Merlin staring at Arthur's bare chest.

Merlin sleeping with Gwaine.

It shouldn't have been a surprise, but Leon had done some sleuthing and found out that Gwaine hadn't got Merlin's number after the film night, so Arthur had thought he was in the clear. But Gwaine had managed to contact Merlin some other way, and now they were—well, it didn't take much imagination to know what they were doing, but Arthur still didn't want to think about it.

So he was reading the research paper.

Sort of.

The commute felt much longer than usual, probably because Arthur had to fight so hard to pay attention to the words on his tablet screen, but eventually he reached the office.

He had barely put his bag down when his desk phone rang. The display screen showed the extension and the name 'U PENDRAGON.'

"Good morning," Arthur said. He pulled one arm out of his jacket and then switched the phone to his other hand so he could get out of the jacket entirely.

"Are you busy?"

"No, I just—"

"Come to my office."

The call disconnected and Arthur set down the receiver, frowning. That wasn't a particularly promising start to the day.

Arthur headed back through the halls of the office until he reached the executive suites, and then he knocked on the door to his father's office.

"Come in."

Arthur stepped inside and took his time to close the door as he glanced around, hoping for a clue as to why his father had sounded so gruff on the phone. His father, Uther, was the Finance Director for the company, having worked his way up from the accounting role he'd held when Arthur had been born. Normally he called Arthur to his office for a friendly coffee, or on occasion to chat about actual work-related things, but this felt different.

The office looked the same as it always did, though. The bookshelves were still mostly populated with trinkets from Uther's travels around the world, the degrees and photographs and newspaper clippings were all still framed and hung perfectly straight on the walls, and Uther was sitting at his large desk. The only difference was that he wasn't smiling.

"Sit," Uther directed.

Arthur sat in one of the two chairs in front of Uther's desk. "Something wrong?" he guessed.

"Have you spoken with Morgana?"

Morgana was Arthur's sister, his half-sister from Uther's first marriage, and she was their Head of Marketing.

"Not very recently, no. She's still in Wales, isn't she? She's been emailing me to set up a call, but I haven't—"

"A call about what?"

"I don't know. We haven't actually set up anything because I figured I'd just wait until she gets back. I didn't think it was about business. Is there a problem?"

"Problem?" Uther's eyebrows drew together for a moment, and then he spread his mouth in what must have been an attempt at a smile. "No."

"Then why are you interrogating me?"

"I'm not, I'm…" Uther cleared his throat. "I'm worried about her."

"Morgana?" Arthur clarified.

"Yes. I don't think she's happy here."

Arthur barely managed to muffle a snort of disbelief. "She was _just_ promoted six months ago, of course she's happy here."

Uther shook his head but didn't elaborate any further.

"Well," Arthur said after a long period of silence, "if there's nothing I can help with—"

"Just keep an eye on her. Make sure she's not in over her head or… or stepping outside her bounds. All right?"

Arthur nodded, more to placate his father than because he understood the instructions or had any intention of following them. "Sure."

"Okay." Uther checked his watch. "I'm late for a call," he said and picked up his phone and started dialling.

Arthur watched for a moment, thoroughly mystified, before heading back toward the Research and Development labs.

Uther had always been competitive and keenly aware of both of his children's careers, but he'd never before voiced concern that they were reaching beyond their grasp or suggested that either of them needed help from the other. Arthur didn't even know what sort of help he could possibly provide, since the only thing his and Morgana's jobs had in common was the name of their employer.

When he got back to his desk, Arthur shot off a quick email to Morgana to let her know he would be free for a call any evening for the rest of the week. Then he made the rounds to check on his junior engineers.

The rest of the day continued on as normal, and Arthur tried to focus on his work, but he couldn't stop his mind from turning over that morning's conversations, first with Merlin and then with his father.

Merlin was funny and sweet and generous and… into Gwaine. Why wouldn't he be into Gwaine? Gwaine was hilarious and hot and so very, very open about what he wanted. It was hard to imagine anyone _not_ falling for him, especially after Arthur had watched so many men do exactly that.

Gwaine never seemed totally comfortable in relationships, though, and his didn't usually last for more than a few hot and heavy months. Then they either fizzled out or blew up in his face, and he would just continue on to the next unwitting man.

If that was what Merlin wanted, then… well, Gwaine was the one to be with. Arthur had always been more subtle, more slow, more committed. He wanted something more than the endless cycle of sex and drama.

Not that his pursuits had left him any more satisfied than Gwaine. At least Gwaine could stick with a guy for a few weeks or months before deciding enough was enough. Arthur rarely made it to even a third date before realising that, yet again, he had not found 'the one.'

He wasn't entirely sure he believed in 'the one,' but he at least wanted _something_ more than good company and good sex (or good company and bad sex, or bad company and good sex, or the unfortunately common bad company and bad sex). Surely one day he would be able to find a happy middle ground somewhere between soul mate and lacklustre boyfriend.

In the end, it didn't really matter. He would continue on, and Gwaine would continue on, and Merlin was probably just a pit stop. It wasn't even the first time he and Gwaine had been interested in the same man, and it probably wouldn't be the last, and he really just needed to stop thinking about it.

Which led him back to his father.

Uther was intense. Everyone knew that, and there was no sugar-coating it, but he wasn't mean or tyrannical. He had a lot of goals for Camelot Ltd, and he wasn't afraid to be aggressive in his pursuit of those goals. He'd done a lot to strengthen the financial health of the company, and generally he was very well thought of, both at Camelot and within the broader financial field.

He'd joined the company when Morgana had been born without her left hand, and he'd dedicated his entire life to it with such a passion that both of his children had followed him there. He'd only ever done what he'd believed was best for their family.

He'd been so proud when Arthur had been hired at Camelot, followed by Morgana, and ever since then he had taken every possible opportunity to sing their praises and predict that they'd both end up as directors one day.

But now he was… what _was_ he doing? What had he found out about Morgana, and what was he worried that she was doing, or would do, or had already done? What could she do that he would ever consider stepping out of bounds as opposed to just growing in her role? What could she possibly be in over her head with? Morgana was one of the most dedicated members of Camelot's marketing team—that was why she'd been promoted in the first place—and she was just as ruthless and bold in her work as Uther had always wanted her to be.

Uther so rarely had a change of heart about anything—his eternal stubbornness was Arthur's least favourite thing about him—that it was impossible for Arthur to even begin to guess what was suddenly going on between him and Morgana.

And since Uther hadn't been willing to give up any information, that left only Morgana, who was in Wales to meet with partners and investors and the press and whomever else.

By the time Arthur finally left the office, he was exhausted.

And when he got home, Gwaine wasn't there.

And Gwaine continued to not be there all evening, likely because he was with Merlin somewhere, either at Merlin's flat or at some romantic restaurant for a proper seduction.

So Arthur poured himself some whisky and played more _Ori and the Blind Forest_ , fully resigned to the fact that videos games were going to remind him of Merlin for the foreseeable future.

~

Thursday was suspiciously normal. There was enough going on at work that Arthur had been fully engrossed in it, Uther hadn't reached out again, and Morgana had calmly suggested that Arthur give her a ring whenever he was free that evening.

So, after an enjoyably productive day, Arthur treated himself to a takeaway from his favourite Indian restaurant and ate his dinner on the private balcony attached to his room. Since his connections with his uncle's company had granted him and his mates access to the flat, and since he paid for the bulk of it, Arthur lived in the master bedroom. Along with the balcony, he had floor-to-ceiling windows on two sides, an unnecessarily large en suite, and a separate spa, also with full-length windows, that housed a hot tub.

He had far too much space in a far too fancy flat, and he loved it.

When he was down to the last few bites of his dinner, he phoned Morgana, put her on speakerphone, and set his mobile down on the table next to his lounge chair.

After exchanging basic pleasantries, Morgana asked, "Are you alone?"

"We're all alone, Morgana. It's the human condition."

"Don't be a shit, Arthur."

Arthur smirked and paused to eat before properly responding. "I'm on the balcony."

"Alone?"

"Yes, I'm alone. Are you setting a hitman on me or something?"

"No, I just… I don't want this overheard."

"What's going on?"

Arthur finished off his food while he waited for Morgana to explain.

"You know how Dad always said my mum was from Cardiff?"

"Yeah."

"Well, she wasn't. I looked her up when I got here, and she never even lived here."

Arthur grabbed his mobile and stood to lean on the balcony railing, not wanting to digest while sitting down.

"Maybe she lived nearby and just said she was from Cardiff since it's a recognisable place?"

"No, nothing like that. She was from all the way on the west coast."

"Hm. Maybe… I don't know, maybe he forgot."

"Does that seem likely to you?"

"No," Arthur admitted. "But I don't have a good explanation for you. Why were you looking her up?"

"That's a stupid question."

"Right," Arthur chuckled. "Sorry. I just ate and my brain's still stuck on food."

There was another long pause, and then Morgana asked, "Did you know they weren't married?"

Arthur blinked. "What?"

"Uther and my mother. They weren't married. He lied."

"Are you sure? Maybe whatever you looked at was outdated or—"

"No, they just were never married."

"I'm sure—"

"Arthur, you're not listening to me," Morgana said sharply. "They weren't married. She wasn't from Cardiff. He lied to me. To us. For decades!"

Arthur walked to one side of the balcony and then to the other, feeling restless. "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know why he would have done that. Maybe he thought we wouldn't understand."

"When I was four, yes, I probably wouldn't have understood. But we're well past that point. And speaking of being four, I also found a copy of my birth records."

"Okay?"

"He's lied about the year I was born."

Arthur snorted. "That's stupid. I'm sure it was a typo."

"You're not listening to me," she said again. "I was born the same year as you. Not the year before."

Arthur sat back down on the edge of his chair. "How could you possibly be sure of that?"

"Why would multiple hospital and legal records be false?"

"I don't…"

"You know what this means, don't you?"

Arthur was afraid to admit that he did. "What?"

"It means he cheated on your mum with my mum and lied to cover it up."

"That's…" Arthur shook his head and got up to pace again. "That doesn't make any fucking sense, Morgana. Surely someone would have noticed if he really already had a child when his 'older' daughter was born."

"I don't think he had custody of me until after my mum died. Which was after your mum died. I'm sure it was very easy to fudge a few things on whatever documents he got his hands on."

Arthur stopped to lean on the railing again and scratched his forehead. Morgana had always been his older sister. He couldn't wrap his head around the logistics of that being a lie. He had so many questions. He had so many doubts. Sometimes Morgana got carried away when she felt strongly about something. Maybe this was one of those times.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"Well," Morgana said, and Arthur could hear her voice starting to shake, "I was… I was curious, and I was upset, so I started checking back through company records and…"

"And?" Arthur asked, not liking her tone.

"And he's been stealing."

Arthur squinted, the lights of the city all blurring together in his vision. "From?"

"Are you daft? From Camelot!"

"Morgana," Arthur said, trying to be sensible. "Why would he steal from the company he's worked at for more than 30 years? From the company that makes the prosthetic hands his daughter has been using for her entire life?"

"I don't know, Arthur, why would he lie to that daughter about being married to her mother and the _year she was born_?"

Arthur shook his head and walked back to the other side of the balcony. "Look, I know you're upset, but just because he lied about those things doesn't mean he's been embezzling."

"What other explanation is there?"

"A typo," Arthur suggested, frustrated. "A miscalculation. Anything. You're being ridiculous."

"I'm not," she said, her voice steady again. "Once I found the paper trail, it became _very_ clear. It's been going on for years, Arthur. Nearly since the beginning."

"It's not possible. Someone would have found out by now if that were the case."

"He's very smart," she said, deadpan. "He rarely did it the same way twice. He started off taking small amounts, a little bit at a time, just skimming here and there. Then he started shuffling around funds to an exhaustive extent, and now he's just inventing entire projects and depositing the money in his own accounts."

Arthur closed his eyes. "Morgana. Listen to yourself. Dad wouldn't do this. You know him."

"I thought I did, but he's been lying to me for as long as he's been stealing this money."

Arthur sat back down on the edge of his lounge chair. "Look, I'm sure there's some kind of explanation. Not for the lying about your mother," he added quickly, cutting off the beginning of her objection. "There's no excuse for that. Or the… birth year thing."

"Thank you."

"But lying about being married to a woman who's been dead for more than three decades doesn't seem like the first step toward embezzlement."

"He fucking doctored my birth certificate. If he's cold enough to lie to his family—and everyone else—why wouldn't he be cold enough to steal?"

"Morgana—"

"Whose side are you on?" she asked calmly.

"What? I'm not on anyone's side. I'm just—"

"I have the evidence I need. I'm going to confront him, and if he can't prove that he didn't do this, I'm taking it to the press."

"The _press_? What the hell, Morgana? If what you're saying really is true, then take it to the Board and let them investigate. If you're right, then…" Arthur sighed, frustrated that she'd managed to drag their conversation to this point. "Then they'll take the appropriate action."

"I have reason to believe the Board won't be able to conduct an unbiased investigation."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning I think someone, or maybe multiple someones, has been helping him cover his tracks, presumably for a cut of the profits."

Arthur ran a hand over his face. "Are you listening to yourself?"

"Are you? I'm telling you that our father is—"

"No, you're contriving a whole new person in your head, and it's not Dad. You're better than this, Morgana. I know you are. You're allowed to be upset with him for lying about your mum, but this isn't the way to fix that."

"He's not who you think he is. He's not who I thought he was, either. And I'm not going to let him keep doing this."

"So you're going to publicly ruin his name? And Camelot's reputation?"

"That's the risk he took when he stole the money."

Arthur shook his head. He couldn't believe this was happening. He couldn't believe Morgana actually wanted to go through with this. "Well, I don't know what it is that you hoped to gain by telling me, but, whatever it is, I'm not interested. You're on your own if you do this. But remember that he's _your_ family and this is _your_ job. And mine. You don't need to blow it up just to get back at him for lying to you."

When the silence stretched on for too long, Arthur checked his mobile and saw that Morgana had hung up on him.

"Fuck," he said. And then louder, "Fuck!"

Resisting the urge to chuck his mobile over the edge of the balcony, Arthur gathered up his dishes and went back inside.

When he reached the kitchen, he found that Gwaine was already there, as well as Merlin. They were near the fridge, eye-fucking each other.

Arthur dropped his dishes in the sink loudly enough that Merlin jumped.

"Jesus," Gwaine said, clutching his chest. "What the hell was that for?"

Arthur said nothing and, grabbing the whisky he'd opened the night before, retreated to his room.

~

In the morning, Arthur skipped breakfast and hurried out of his flat as fast as he could, going straight to father's office as soon as he got to work.

He knocked, but there was no response, so he pulled out his mobile to ring Uther's desk phone. Before he could scroll through his contact list, Uther appeared at the end of the hall.

"Arthur," he said by way of greeting. "Do we have business?"

"No—"

"Then I don't have time." Uther unlocked his door and stepped inside his office. He nearly closed the door in Arthur's face, but Arthur held out a hand and pushed it open again. "I don't have time," Uther repeated.

"Then make time." Arthur forced his way inside and closed the door to give them privacy. "I spoke with Morgana last night."

"I don't want to hear it," Uther said dismissively. He sat down at his desk and began doing something on his computer.

"It sure seemed like you wanted to hear it yesterday."

"Arthur," Uther said, his voice stern and his gaze harsh as he looked up. Twenty years ago, Arthur would have cowered at his father's power. Now, he could match it.

"You do you know you're not acting like an innocent man."

He hadn't quite meant to say it like that. He didn't really believe—he had no reason to believe Morgana's version of the story. He just wanted to sort this out and move past it.

"I don't have time," Uther said, looking at his computer again. "And I don't want to hear it."

Arthur stared down at his father for a long moment, trying to see past the facade.

The only times Uther got like this was when he knew— _knew_ —he was in the wrong but couldn't accept it. Instead of admitting fault or conceding fault or compromising, he would lash out and push people away. He would rather be alone than seen as weak.

It took so much to change his mind about something so deeply that he would ever budge.

Arthur had only succeeded once. When he first came out, Uther had behaved much worse than he was doing now. It had been a complete wreck, and he and Arthur didn't speak for over half a year. Because Arthur could be stubborn, too, when the situation called for it.

But then Arthur had got over himself and forced his way back into Uther's life and good graces. He never apologised for who he was or made any compromises about how he wanted to live his life, but he had been relentless, and, in the end, Uther hadn't wanted to lose a son.

Arthur had no leverage here, though. Uther wasn't going to let him in.

Which looked bad. It looked really, really bad.

And Uther had to know that. But he must have thought that this was better than whatever hit his reputation would take if he admitted to—to something. To whatever it was.

Or maybe it was just the perceived notion of guilt that Uther wanted to avoid, and he was choosing to boldly ignore the entire thing, even though that did exactly nothing to make him look good.

"I want to help," Arthur finally said, making one last effort. "I'm sure that whatever this is—"

"Don't you have work to be doing?" Uther asked without looking up.

Arthur threw up his hands and left, slamming the door behind him. Sometimes talking to his father was like talking to a brick wall.

A brick wall that had raised him and taught him that giving to others was the greatest thing he could do with his life.

But a brick wall nonetheless.

Arthur sequestered himself at his desk for the rest of the day and kept busy by starting from scratch, _again_ , on one piece of the wrist joint he was trying to perfect.

~~~

Saturday night found Merlin stood in front of his bathroom sink, leaning over it as far as he could to get as close as possible to the mirror. He was trying to apply eyeliner, a task he'd never been particularly good at, and Gwaine was not helping.

"You ever fucked in the club?" Gwaine asked from where he was draped over Merlin's back, pressing Merlin against the sink and being a nuisance.

"Yeah," Merlin said. He didn't know how Gwaine could possibly be talking about sex when Merlin was making the most unattractive faces in his attempt to get the stupid eyeliner to look the way he wanted, but he supposed that it _was_ Gwaine, and Gwaine could probably talk about sex anywhere, at any time.

"Yeah?" Gwaine tried to get his hand down the front of Merlin's jeans, but they were far too tight for that. "That's naughty."

"That's the point." Merlin braced his elbow on the mirror to get a steadier hand. "How come Arthur didn't want to join us?"

"Because he's a grump."

"Does getting drunk and getting off with strangers in a dark club not cure his grumpiness?"

"Apparently not." Gwaine pressed a kiss to the back of Merlin's neck as he leaned in closer and pushed Merlin's hipbones into the countertop.

"You know you're not helping here, right?"

Gwaine chuckled and finally stepped away. "Do you have any lipstick?"

Merlin scoffed. "No. Freya does, but I doubt she'd share it with you."

"We'll see." Gwaine said before leaving the bathroom to find her.

Merlin took the opportunity to close and lock the door because it was almost impossible to accomplish even the smallest tasks with Gwaine in the room, groping him at every opportunity.

When he was finally satisfied with his efforts, Merlin turned to look at himself in the full-length mirror on the back of the door.

He looked… he looked queer as hell. He had the cuffs of his dark jeans rolled up, displaying the lighter underside of the fabric right above his shiny and very pointy-toed black shoes. And he was wearing the most ridiculous shirt he had found at a thrift store that afternoon: it almost looked like a normal patterned vest, but for whatever reason it had long, tight mesh sleeves. It was like fishnets for his arms, and it was the strangest article of clothing he'd ever owned. He looked like he was running away to join a circus of gay goth bikers.

"Oi!" Gwaine called out, knocking on the door and making the mirror rattle. "Ready?"

Merlin unlocked the door and was pinned to the wall as soon as he stepped into the hall.

"You going to let me touch you tonight?" Gwaine asked, his mouth pressed to Merlin's ear and his hand trailing over the front of Merlin's jeans.

Merlin smirked. "Maybe. I was thinking I could fuck you."

Gwaine pulled back enough for them to properly look at each other. He was now sporting a bold red lip that wasn't particularly well-matched with the colour of his beard, but he was owning the look.

"Yeah?"

Merlin nodded and reached around to grab at Gwaine's arse through his jeans. "Yeah. We can come back here after the club, and you can pick any dick you want and I'll fuck you with it." Merlin moved one hand to Gwaine's hair and tangled his fingers in it before tugging roughly, tilting Gwaine's head back so he could get his lips on Gwaine's neck. "Hard. Until you can't even walk. And then I'll fuck you again."

Gwaine hummed and leaned his entire weight against Merlin. "Should we just skip the club, then?"

"Didn't you want to fuck there, too?" Gwaine huffed, and Merlin smiled and pushed him away. "Come on. Let's at least make an appearance."

Gwaine followed Merlin down the hall and into the living room, where Gwen and her partner Lance were waiting, along with Freya and Leon. Leon immediately burst into laughter upon seeing Gwaine's lipstick, so Gwaine kicked him hard in the shins. Leon retaliated with a punch to Gwaine's shoulder, and Merlin had to tug Gwaine out the front door to avoid a wrestling match.

~

Merlin felt disgusting when he and Gwaine finally got back to his flat. They had stayed out far longer than planned, mostly because Merlin really did like to dance, and they were both dripping with sweat. And probably other unspeakable things because Gwaine had dragged Merlin into the loos toward the end of the night and fucked him in a stall. Merlin—already unbearably turned on from the hot and heavy grinding they'd been doing—had come so hard that his knees had nearly given out.

They quit the club shortly after that, leaving their friends somewhere amongst the sweaty masses, and came back to Merlin's with Gwaine whispering filthy things in his ear the entire trip.

"I need a shower," Merlin said once he had the front door locked. He stripped off his shirt and dropped it on top of Aithusa, distracting her enough that she didn't follow him across the living room.

He was naked when he reached the bathroom, his clothes leaving a trail that Gwaine dutifully followed, and he stepped into the shower before he'd even turned on the water.

"Ow, that's freezing," Gwaine said when he joined a minute later, all his clothes in a pile just outside the shower.

"Yeah, I was sweating my tits off."

Gwaine giggled, high-pitched and tipsy. "Oh, is that where they went?"

"Mhm." Merlin adjusted the temperature to get the water a little warmer, and as soon as it was to his liking, Gwaine moved into Merlin's personal space.

"Can I?" Gwaine asked, one hand brushing the inside of Merlin's thighs.

Merlin shuddered, fucking _ready_ for it, and nodded.

Gwaine groaned and started sucking on the side of Merlin's neck as he finally got his fingers on Merlin's dick. He stroked it clumsily at first, then reached lower to tease Merlin's front and get his fingers slick, and after that Merlin stopped thinking.

It was _really_ good—until Gwaine changed his strategy, moving his hand faster and rougher, catching the exposed head of Merlin's cock on his fingertips too many times, making Merlin jerk from the over-stimulation.

"Slow down," Merlin managed, resisting the urge to push Gwaine's hand away. "Not so hard."

Gwaine hummed, his mouth still on Merlin's neck, and switched tactics completely. He started pushing his fingers into Merlin, slowly to start and then building up a rhythm. Merlin spread his legs further, but Gwaine's technique didn't advance much past bluntly stabbing his fingers into Merlin's front.

Not wanting to take the time to teach Gwaine what he really liked—just wanting to move on to something that would leave him more satisfied—Merlin shifted his stance and closed his legs, forcing Gwaine to pull away.

"You want me to fuck you or what?" he asked.

Undeterred, Gwaine reached for Merlin's dick again, reverting to his earlier strategy of long, slow strokes that had Merlin's eyes rolling back.

"I want you to come first," he said huskily. "Can I use my mouth?"

Merlin shook his head and turned around, pressing his back to Gwaine's chest and covering Gwaine's hand with his own, showing him what to do.

"Yeah, like—" Merlin gasped when Gwaine's fingers found exactly the right spot. "Yeah. Yeah, there. Keep doing that."

Gwaine murmured something into Merlin's hair, and Merlin braced himself with both hands on the tiled walls of the shower. He wanted to come so badly—the only thing Gwaine ever made Merlin want to do was fuck himself to death—and he wanted to come all over Gwaine's hand. He could _feel_ it pulsing in his hard dick, making him wetter, making him groan, making his cunt clench, making his head fuzzy and useless.

"Ff-ffaster," Merlin moaned, pressing his arse against Gwaine's straining cock.

"Yeah." Gwaine obeyed and licked up the shell of Merlin's ear. "You gonna come for me?"

"Fuck—" Merlin reached up and grabbed at the shower head to keep himself steady as he started coming, the orgasm rolling through him and making him gasp and nearly choke on the water stream.

Gwaine wrapped his free arm around Merlin's chest, holding him upright, and continued rubbing him until Merlin pulled his hand away.

"Holy shit," Gwaine breathed against Merlin's neck. "Fuck, I need to come. You're so fucking hot."

Merlin turned and got to his knees quickly, in part because he didn't have enough strength to keep standing, and sucked Gwaine's entire cock into his mouth. He reached down to pull on his dick a few times, jerking a little at the bright bursts of pleasure still shocking through him, and it didn't take more than a few seconds for Gwaine to grab his hair and come down his throat with a grunt.

When Gwaine staggered back to lean against the wall, Merlin sat back on his haunches and closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath.

"You're the best fuck I've had in a long time," Gwaine said.

Merlin grinned and looked up to see Gwaine licking his still-red lips.

"And we haven't even got to the fucking part, yet."

Gwaine pulled Merlin to his feet and they rinsed off again before sneaking across the hall, naked, to Merlin's room.

"Okay, time to play Pick a Dick," Merlin said as he pulled open a bureau drawer.

Gwaine stepped closer and his eyes widened comically at the array of toys. "Jesus Christ."

"Not sure he has anything to do with this," Merlin teased.

Gwaine picked up a purple, ribbed, double-ended dildo.

"What's this bit for?" he asked, poking the shorter, more bulbous side.

"That bit is for me."

Gwaine grinned and pushed his damp hair out of his face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Get on the bed."

Merlin handed him some lube and smacked his arse as he followed instructions. With Gwaine momentarily distracted, Merlin fit the dildo into his harness and slathered the shorter end with more lube before stepping into the harness and pushing that end into his front.

"Wow," Gwaine said when he turned around. Gwaine was up near the pillows, one hand buried between his legs as he prepared himself.

Merlin smirked and ran his hand over the silicone dick, keeping his eyes on Gwaine and relishing the feeling of jerking himself off.

Gwaine pulled his fingers out of his arse, crawled to the edge of the bed, and, tugging Merlin forward, sank his mouth around the dildo with no preamble. Merlin ran his hands over Gwaine's wet, tangled hair and pushed his hips forward a little, enjoying the pressure of the strap-on against his own cock. Gwaine hummed and slipped his fingers under the sides of the harness, pulling Merlin even closer and taking more of the dick into his mouth.

"Come on," Merlin said, stepping back when it became too much of a tease. "Ready?"

Gwaine lay back on the bed and Merlin followed, rubbing more lube over the dildo.

"You any good with that thing?" Gwaine teased as Merlin spread his legs and got lined up.

"You tell me," Merlin said before pushing in the tip.

Gwaine inhaled sharply and lifted his hips, forcing Merlin to change the angle.

"All right?" Merlin asked when he was halfway in.

Gwaine was red in the face, but he nodded quickly. "Yeah, come on."

Merlin slid the rest of the way in and then shifted until his knees were on the outside of Gwaine's hips and Gwaine's legs were wrapped loosely around his waist.

"This good for you?" Gwaine asked, adjusting the pillow under his head.

"Oh yeah." Merlin rocked his hips a little. "You?"

"Yeah. Show me what you got."

Merlin rolled his eyes, grabbed onto Gwaine's hips, and began fucking him in earnest.

He moved slowly at first, testing out what felt good for him and what seemed to feel good for Gwaine, until he had the angles sorted and could start focusing on speed.

"Oh, fuck," Gwaine groaned when Merlin reached up to tweak one of his nipples.

Merlin smirked and carried on, gradually going faster and faster, until Gwaine finally started pulling on his own dick. He waited for Gwaine to fall into a rhythm, and then he leaned forward a bit, got his knees under him, and pulled Gwaine's hips up until their stomachs were pressed together and there was no room for Gwaine's hand.

"Oh, thats—" Gwaine arched further off the bed and turned his head into the pillow. "Fuck, yeah, Merlin," he groaned, his voice muffled. "That's so fucking good."

Merlin grunted in agreement and fucked Gwaine faster and harder, the double-ended dildo doing everything right for him. The pressure and friction on his dick was driving him to distraction, and the end of the dildo inside him was pushing hard against his G-spot every time he moved his hips in a certain way. He was going to come again if he didn't slow down.

"Don't stop," Gwaine moaned when Merlin sat up a little.

"Not stopping," Merlin breathed. He grabbed Gwaine's legs and manoeuvred them until they were bent, knees digging into either side of his chest and heels pressed against his arse. He gripped Gwaine's thighs and fucked him deep, making him groan again.

"Yeah, that's good," Gwaine babbled, pushing his hips back against Merlin's thrusts. "Fuck, that's perfect." He reached between them to stroke himself again, his knuckles brushing against Merlin's stomach.

Merlin hung his head to watch, but after a few seconds he had to close his eyes against the pressure building in his middle. He wasn't ready to come—he wouldn't be able to handle the intense stimulation of the dildo after he came—and he just needed to hold on.

"Are you close?" Gwaine asked, sounding strained.

Merlin slipped his forearms under Gwaine's knees and braced his hands on the bed so he could move faster. Gwaine grunted and then reached above his head with his free hand, his palm slamming into Merlin's headboard.

"I'm—I'm—" Gwaine's voice broke and then he went very still for a second, teetering on the edge until Merlin pushed in again. He came with a series of loud, stuttering moans, and Merlin fucked him through it, barely holding back.

"Oh, fuck." Gwaine shuddered when Merlin knocked the dildo against his prostate again. "Fuck, give me a minute."

Merlin didn't need to be asked twice. He pulled out and tugged off the harness, the dildo popping out of him with a soft squelch.

"What…" Gwaine asked vaguely, one hand still pulling the last of his pleasure out of himself.

Merlin straddled Gwaine's chest and leaned forward slightly to grip the top of his headboard for balance. He rubbed his dick with his free hand, giving Gwaine another close-up show, and Gwaine's whimper of want pushed him over the edge.

He couldn't stop the sounds pouring out of him as he came again, barely held up by his hand on the headboard and Gwaine's hands on his thighs. The muscles in his thighs were shaking, every nerve ending on or near his dick was sparking, and he was pretty sure he was going to pass out if his orgasm didn't slow down soon.

"Shit," he muttered when he finally had enough control over himself to flop onto the bed next to Gwaine. He continued brushing his fingers over his cock, taking as much as his body was willing to give him, and buried his face in Gwaine's arm.

"God _damn_ , Merlin," Gwaine said when he finally calmed down.

Merlin snorted. "Yeah. Fuck yeah."

"I can't even move." Gwaine's voice was deep and slow, and Merlin desperately wanted to curl up next to him and fall asleep within the next 30 seconds.

"You don't have to," he said, his lips pressed against Gwaine's bicep.

"You neither." Gwaine waved one hand vaguely, perhaps to emphasise his point.

"I do," Merlin said. "I do."

"Don't," Gwaine counted.

"Do." Merlin took a deep breath and, letting out a pathetic noise, pushed himself up until he was sitting.

"Don't," Gwaine said again, trailing his fingers down one of Merlin's arms.

"Do. Definitely do. I'll be back." He got off the bed with a grunt and went back to the bathroom across the hall, still naked, to pee and get a facecloth.

When he came back, Gwaine was already snoring. Rolling his eyes, Merlin leaned over the bed and wiped up the mess on Gwaine's chest for him.

"Not a child," Gwaine muttered, waking up enough to weakly pull the cloth from Merlin's hand.

"Never said you were." Merlin let Gwaine finish cleaning himself off as he turned out the light and then yanked the covers out from under Gwaine so they could both get under them.

"In the morning," Gwaine whispered as he wrapped himself around Merlin. "Talk."

"Okay," Merlin said, already losing the battle to keep his eyes open. "Morning talk."

"Mmm."

Merlin exhaled in agreement and tried to find Gwaine's hand to hold, but he fell asleep mid gesture.

~

In the morning, Merlin woke when Gwaine's snoring grew so loud that he was worried it might also wake up Freya two rooms over.

If Freya was even home, which she might not be.

Merlin rolled onto his stomach, away from Gwaine, and was treated to the smell of his own sweat as he breathed into his pillow.

Gwaine snorted and then let out a yawn that made him sound like a walrus.

Merlin lifted his head and forced himself to open his eyes. Gwaine was staring at him, looking deeply unimpressed with the concept of morning.

"Hey," Merlin said, and his voice sounded like he'd been screaming for days. He cleared his throat and pressed his face back into the pillow.

Gwaine grunted and moved closer to drape an arm over Merlin's back.

"Morning. My arse hurts."

Merlin managed a chuckle. "Good."

"Yeah." Gwaine pressed a kiss to Merlin's shoulder. "It was."

Merlin heaved a sigh and then pushed himself up onto his elbows. "Ugh. What time is it?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

Merlin rolled onto his back, out from under Gwaine's arm. "Bed time, do you think?"

"Probably not," Gwaine said, giving Merlin's side a poke.

"Where do you think my mobile is?"

"I think you took your jeans off in the hall."

"Of course I did," Merlin muttered. He sat up, his body protesting every movement, and stood.

"You have a great butt," Gwaine called after him as he went into the hall, naked.

Merlin followed the trail of his clothes to the front door, picking them up along the way. He found his mobile with the battery dead, but thankfully Aithusa hadn't chewed on it.

When Merlin came back to his room, Gwaine was standing and stretching. He was naked, too, and his dick was hard, and if Merlin weren't exhausted and hungover, he would have dragged Gwaine into his bed and fucked him all over again.

Instead of doing all that, Merlin just went to his bureau, pulled on a clean pair of pants, and lay down on top of his covers. He plugged his mobile in and tried to talk himself out of going back to sleep.

Gwaine sat down on the edge of the bed and trailed his fingers over Merlin's ankles. "All right?"

Merlin nodded. "Yeah. I know you wanted to talk, but you're going to need to get at least somewhat dressed before I can have a serious conversation with you."

Gwaine smiled and leaned down to kiss one of Merlin's ankles. "I suppose that's fair." He got up and went across the hall to the bathroom, and when he came back he had on pants and was carrying the rest of his clothes in a bundle.

"How's this?" Gwaine asked, dropping his clothes on the floor and revealing his hard cock sticking out of the fly of his briefs.

Merlin blinked, his vision still a little bleary. "Incredibly sexy."

Gwaine tucked himself back in and flopped down on his stomach next to Merlin.

"Can I ask an inappropriate question?"

"I feel like you would ask even if I said no, so sure."

Gwaine smirked. "I just wanted to know if… like, are your orgasms any different now? Than what they used to be like?"

Merlin reached out to play with Gwaine's hair. "No one's ever asked me that before," he said. "I don't know if they feel different while they're happening, but… they're easier to come by than they used to be, for the most part. So that's nice."

Gwaine folded his arms and rested his head on them like a pillow. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Merlin clasped his hands over his stomach. "Is that really what you wanted to talk about?"

"No." Gwaine cleared his throat and licked his lips. "I wanted to ask what you're looking for. What you want out of this. What you need from me."

Merlin closed his eyes as his head throbbed a little at the prospect of this conversation. They hadn't even _kissed_ , and Merlin had followed Gwaine's lead on that, so he'd assumed from the first night that it was nothing more than sex.

"I don't know," he admitted, peeking at Gwaine with one eye. "I'm just having a good time. You?"

"I'm…" Gwaine frowned and turned onto his back. "I'm really hung up on this other guy, but he is so straight it _hurts_ , and you are a very sexy distraction."

Merlin was surprised at how relieved he was to hear that. "I'm sorry," he offered. "I'm happy to keep being that distraction."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Merlin dropped one hand to the bed and brushed his pinky finger over the waistband of Gwaine's pants. "As long as you're okay with… I mean, I know you want to, um… I don't usually, with guys I'm not, like, in a relationship with—"

"It's all right," Gwaine said, turning onto his side. He pressed a kiss to a freckle on Merlin's arm. "There's plenty else we can do."

Merlin murmured in agreement and sighed when Gwaine draped an arm over his chest and cuddled closer.

"Going back to sleep?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. If I go back to sleep then I can't have breakfast, so… no."

Merlin chuckled and petted Gwaine's hair. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Is there anything I can do to tempt you into making waffles again?"

"Oh, there's lots you could do," Merlin teased. "But I don't have a waffle maker."

"We can go back to mine," Gwaine muttered, doing a poor job of not going back to sleep.

"And I have to take out Aithusa."

"Is that antithetical to waffles?"

"That's a big word for a hangover."

Gwaine grunted and gave another walrus-sounding yawn before sitting up. "Okay," he said. "Let's do the dog thing. And then the waffle thing."

Gwaine stood and held out his hands to pull Merlin out of bed as well. They dressed as quickly as they could, which wasn't very quickly at all, and then went to collect Aithusa from her spot in Merlin's office.

"How do you get to the balcony?" Gwaine asked, peering out the windows in the office.

"There's doors in my and Freya's rooms."

Gwaine turned back around, shaking his head. "I thought that was a cupboard door."

"I have one of those, too," Merlin teased. He finished hooking on Aithusa's lead and followed Gwaine out of the flat and over to the lifts. "Did you see if Freya's door was open?" he asked once they were on their way down to the lobby.

"No," Gwaine said around a yawn. "I don't know which door is hers."

"You're having a rough time with doors this morning."

"Shut it."

Merlin smirked and tightened his grip on Aithusa's lead when the lift dinged and opened. He let Aithusa guide him over to her favourite patch of grass and then around all the nearby bushes. Gwaine trailed behind, mostly just yawning and humming.

It felt comfortable and domestic and probably not what it should feel like, considering the conversation they'd just had.

Merlin walked Aithusa once around their block of flats, but that was all he could handle on an empty and hungover stomach, so he followed Gwaine up to the penthouse after that.

Aithusa immediately made herself at home, snorting happily and scrambling up the stairs to the loft.

"Wow, she just really knows where all the sex is at, huh?"

"She's a pervert," Merlin agreed as he hung Aithusa's lead over the doorknob. "I need food or I'm going to kill someone."

"Then by all means." Gwaine gestured toward the kitchen.

Merlin took a few minutes to dig through all the cupboards, having forgotten where everything was, but eventually he had the batter mixed and ready to pour.

"I can take over from here," Gwaine offered, pushing himself up from where he had been slumped at the kitchen island.

"Are you sure? I don't mind."

"Yeah, you've done plenty." Gwaine gave Merlin's hip a squeeze as he took his place by the waffle iron and started pouring in batter.

Merlin leaned against the fridge and let himself stare at Gwaine's muscles as he idly stirred the batter.

"Enjoying the show?" Gwaine asked, giving Merlin a sleepy smile.

"I've seen better."

"You're so mean to me."

Merlin grinned and slid down to the floor as Aithusa came into the kitchen. She settled herself in his lap and he scratched behind her ears, leaning his head on the fridge and fighting to keep his eyes open.

"Waffles again?" Arthur asked, appearing in the doorway.

Merlin blinked up again him, a little disappointed to see that he was wearing a shirt this time.

"Again?" Gwaine asked as he took the first waffle out of the iron.

Arthur flushed and looked down briefly at Merlin before crossing the kitchen to get himself a glass of water.

Merlin hunched over Aithusa a bit, scratching under her chin. He hadn't told Gwaine about his run-in with Arthur during his first waffle-making morning earlier that week. He hadn't thought it would matter. He hadn't wanted to dwell on how hot-and-cold Arthur was with him, especially whenever Gwaine came up in their conversation. He hadn't wanted to go there with Gwaine, not when he hadn't known where they stood at the time, and not when he had spent the rest of the morning daydreaming about Arthur's bare torso.

Apparently Arthur hadn't mentioned it to Gwaine, either.

"Again?" Gwaine asked again when no one had answered him the first time.

"Arthur saw me making them a few days ago," Merlin explained without looking up from Aithusa.

Arthur made a non-committal noise, and when Merlin looked up again, he was leaning against the counter and staring down into his water glass.

"How was the club?" he asked.

"Scandalous," Gwaine said, giving Merlin an unsubtle wink.

Arthur glanced between Gwaine and Merlin. Merlin blushed at the obvious implication, and Arthur gulped down his entire glass.

"All right." Gwaine poured more batter into the waffle maker and then held out a plate. "Who wants the first one?"

Merlin looked at Arthur, but Arthur was staring at the floor. "Me," Merlin said, lifting Aithusa out of his lap so he could get up. She trotted over to Arthur and head-butted his ankle.

Gwaine handed over the first waffle and Merlin settled at the island and stuffed as much as he could into his mouth, desperate for anything to be in his stomach besides the previous night's alcohol. He got several bites in before realising that he should ask if Arthur and Gwaine had any syrup, or at least butter.

When Merlin looked up, Arthur was refilling his glass. Then, silently, he pulled a carton of ice cream out of the freezer, slid it across the island to Merlin, and left the kitchen.

Gwaine added batter for a third waffle before sitting down across from Merlin and helping himself to the second waffle and a heaping scoop of ice cream.

"Apparently whatever Arthur did instead of going out with us did not cure his grumpiness."

"No," Merlin agreed, watching Aithusa lick up a bit of waffle batter that had dripped onto the floor.

He wanted to call Arthur back, to make it better somehow, to make it less unbearably awkward, to make it so that Arthur could at least attempt to make eye contact with him.

But he didn't know what the problem was. And he needed to eat breakfast.

~~~

Arthur was starving, but there was no way he could go back into the kitchen to get food. Not with Merlin and Gwaine still in there, eating their morning-after waffles.

Gwaine had invited him out the night before, saying that Leon and Freya and Gwen and Gwen's partner were all going as well, but Arthur hadn't wanted to be a third wheel. Or a seventh wheel. He didn't want to have to deal with being the only un-paired person in their group, forced to find his own partner to dance with. Especially not when they hadn't even gone to a gay club.

He very clearly needed to get laid, though. He was letting this Merlin thing get out of hand. Merlin was with Gwaine, and they were both happy, and Arthur needed to move on before it got any more awkward than it already was.

He was probably being _so_ obvious. Merlin most likely knew what was going on. It was only a matter of time before Gwaine caught on, too. And then it would be unbearable. So Arthur needed to stop it, and _now_. Whatever switch Merlin had turned on inside of him, he needed to figure out how to turn it off. And leave it off, indefinitely.

To distract himself while he waited for the kitchen to be free, Arthur settled down on the lounge sofa and tried to find a video game to play. After a few minutes of mindless scrolling, he finally decided just to open up his latest Minecraft game and zone out while building something new.

Eventually, just as Arthur was thinking he might need to get dressed and go out for breakfast, Merlin and Gwaine emerged from the kitchen.

And came straight into the lounge to watch Arthur's game.

"Here." Arthur passed the controller to Gwaine as soon as he'd sat down. "Do whatever. I'll be back in a minute."

Not waiting for Gwaine to respond, Arthur got up and went into the kitchen. He poured himself a large bowl of cereal and shovelled in a few dry mouthfuls before getting out the milk and turning on the kettle.

Once he had a mug of tea and a re-filled bowl of cereal, he went back out to the lounge and settled on the sofa between Gwaine and Merlin, who were sitting on the far ends.

"You should have had some waffles," Merlin said when he sat down. "I could have made more."

"I wasn't hungry before," Arthur lied. He took the controller back to save and quit his game. "Any requests?"

"What do you have?" Merlin asked when Gwaine didn't answer.

Arthur passed the controller to Merlin and went back to his breakfast as Merlin scrolled through his game collection.

"Do you like _Inside_?" Merlin asked.

"I haven't played it. I liked _Limbo_ , but… I don't know, I think Leon maybe bought _Inside_. I keep forgetting it's on there."

"I've played it," Gwaine said as he stretched his legs out on the chaise lounge end of the sofa. "It's still very Caligari-esque."

"But with colour," Merlin added.

Arthur had no idea what that meant.

"Didn't Caligari have colour?" Gwaine asked. "Like, mono-colour?"

"Yeah. _Inside_ is pretty much the same."

"So," Arthur said after an awkwardly long pause in the conversation. "Should we… play it?"

"If you want." Merlin tried to hand over the controller, but Arthur shook his head.

"You can go for it. I'm still eating."

Merlin shrugged and started up a new game. Arthur and Gwaine watched in silence as he went through the introduction.

"Did you work on this?" Arthur asked as Merlin dove into the gameplay with confidence.

"Nah, I've just played it a lot. I know some of the guys who made it."

"Do you make video games?" Gwaine asked, sounding surprised.

Arthur frowned and took a sip of his tea. How could Merlin and Gwaine not know what each other did for a living? They'd been spending practically every night—and morning—together all week.

"Yeah, concept art," Merlin said. "You still do photography?"

"No, that was an impossible career. I do colour editing for films and some BBC series."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I work for a studio. Do you?"

"No, I'm freelance." Merlin guided his character to an area of the game that didn't look like it was part of the main path. "I used to work for a studio in Montréal, and I still do a lot of stuff for them, but I'm a free man, now."

"Montréal?" Gwaine asked, pillowing his arms behind his head. "Did you live there?"

"Yeah, for a few years. Right up until I moved in with Freya, actually."

Arthur sunk lower against the sofa cushions, thinking over his escape options. Merlin and Gwaine were having what was basically a first date conversation, and he was literally sitting right between them.

"What are the guys like in Canada?"

Merlin smirked. "Same as they are here, just with sillier accents. I was dating a British guy pretty much the whole time I was there, though."

"Why? Were the accents that bad?"

"No, we moved there together. It was Gwen's brother, actually. We'd been dating for a while, and then I got a job offer there, so… yeah."

"What brought you back to London?" Arthur asked before he could stop himself.

Merlin glanced over at him and then at Gwaine. "I wanted to be in England," he said. "Elyan moved to Toronto, so we broke up, and my studio agreed to contract with me as a remote freelancer, so…" Merlin shrugged. "It was either that or move to LA, which I'm trying to avoid doing as much as possible."

"What's wrong with LA? Even worse accents?" Gwaine teased.

"Yeah. Plus, I hear they get actual sun over there, like _every day_ , and I wouldn't know how to handle it."

Gwaine chuckled. "Yeah, you're far too pasty for actual sun."

"Cheers." Merlin placed a checkpoint and paused the game. "Anyone else want a turn?"

Arthur was about to take the opportunity to excuse himself, but then Aithusa wandered in and started trying to climb up his legs.

"She's bad at jumping," Merlin explained, leaning over to push her away. "Sorry."

"That's—" Aithusa went back to pawing at Arthur's jeans, so he leaned down to pick her up. She settled in his lap, her tongue lolling out of her mouth.

"You can push her off," Merlin said. He reached out to scratch behind her ears. "She's spoiled."

"I don't mind," Arthur admitted. He stroked Aithusa's back and she turned her head around to give him an adoring look.

"Pass me the controller?" Gwaine asked, holding out his hand.

Merlin leaned over Arthur to hand it over, bracing himself on Arthur's arm so he wouldn't lose his balance and topple off the sofa.

Arthur froze. One of Merlin's long, muscular, glorious arms was stretched across his entire field of vision, and _fuck_. He'd nearly been able to forget what effect those arms had on him.

When Merlin sat back up, Arthur dug both hands under Aithusa to scratch at her belly. He was losing his mind. One brief touch of Merlin's hand and one brief glimpse of Merlin's arms shouldn't have completely derailed him like that.

He needed to go. He needed to get up and find something else to do. He needed to—he had nothing else to do. Nothing else except mope in his room about his sister and his father, who were both ignoring all of his attempts to contact them. Maybe he could go for a run or hide in the gym or go to the cinema or—

Leon and Freya emerged from Leon's room, looking laughably dishevelled. Leon was just wearing a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms, but Freya had on a short dress that Arthur assumed she had worn out to the club the night before.

When he noticed everyone in the lounge, Leon paused and gave a meagre wave before escorting Freya into the foyer.

Arthur looked back at the telly to see that Gwaine had started up the game again. He tried to concentrate on that and the soft warmth of the dog in his lap, but, it was futile.

After a minute or so, Leon came back into the flat.

"Hey," he said, leaning against the bookshelf that separated the lounge from the living room. "What are you playing?"

" _Inside_ ," Gwaine answered without taking his eyes off the screen. "It's your game, right?"

"Probably. I think I bought it when it was on sale, but I never actually played it."

"Come watch?"

Leon shrugged and settled himself on the sofa between Gwaine and Arthur. He scratched under Aithusa's chin, making her snort appreciatively.

"We missed you at the club," Leon said to Arthur. "What did you end up doing?"

Arthur had spent the evening in his hot tub with whisky and an audiobook, but he certainly wasn't going to share that in front of Merlin.

"Just, you know…" Arthur trailed off, realising he hadn't come up with an answer before he'd started speaking.

"Porn?" Gwaine guessed.

"Fuck off," Arthur muttered. Leave it to Gwaine to point out how he was clearly the only one in the room who hadn't hooked up with someone the night before.

Leon yawned loudly and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles. "Well, you should come next time. It was fun."

"Mhm," Arthur murmured. He lifted Aithusa out of his lap and into Leon's instead. "I'm going to… go," he finished lamely as he stood.

Ignoring Gwaine's calls for him to stay, Arthur went back to his room.

~

On Monday morning, Arthur got to his office and started work as usual. He spent most of his morning working with one of his junior engineers and the rest of it in interviews for Camelot's open prosthetist position.

When he stepped out for lunch, there were no less than four camera crews stationed outside the office.

Arthur's stomach dropped—he felt like he was going to be sick right there on the front steps of the building.

Morgana had done something.

Or Uther had.

Arthur hurried off to one of the cafes around the corner, scrolling through the news on his mobile. Based on his cursory searching of Camelot and Uther and Morgana's names, it didn't look like anything had been published. At least, not yet.

Maybe the camera crews had been there for some other coincidental reason.

Arthur knew better than to hope that, so he ate his sandwich and chips as quickly as possible and then went back to the office. The cameras were all still there, pointing at Camelot's glass-paned building, but there were no more hints about what was going on.

When he was safe inside the lobby, Arthur placed a call to Morgana.

She didn't answer.

He called his father, but Uther didn't answer either.

Finally, desperate, Arthur returned to the Research and Development labs and went in search of his director.

He found her in her office, seemingly expecting him.

"Close the door," Annis instructed when Arthur came in. "Have a seat."

Arthur closed the door but couldn't bring himself to sit. He had too much nervous energy to be still, so he stood behind the chair, shifting his weight back and forth between his feet.

"Why are there news vans outside?"

"Please," Annis said with a tight smile. "Sit."

"I—"

"Arthur."

Arthur swallowed heavily and sat down. He crossed one leg over the other and tapped his foot against the air.

"Your father is… resigning. Effective today."

"Resigning," Arthur repeated blankly. "Against his will, I assume."

"He was given a choice." Annis considered him for a long moment and then sighed, her hard expression morphing into something more concerned. "Your sister looked through decades of Camelot's financial records when she was in Wales, and she found evidence that your father had been mishandling large portions of our funds."

"That's a very diplomatic way of putting it," Arthur said, slumping in the chair. "She mentioned that to me last week, but… but it's not—he didn't actually—why is he resigning? I _know_ my father, and he wouldn't do this. You know him, too! Surely there's been some kind of—"

"He hasn't denied it," Annis said quietly. "Morgana went to him over the weekend, and when that didn't resolve it, she went to the Board this morning. He was given the chance to explain, to admit or deny, to apologise, but he didn't. He just resigned and walked out."

Arthur shook his head. "He wouldn't…"

"I think you know that he would, Arthur. And it seems that he did. No one forced him to leave."

Arthur ran a hand over his mouth, trying to think. "I don't… I don't know what to say."

A long moment passed between them, and then Annis said, "Morgana has also resigned."

Arthur stood, unable to sit still for another moment. "What do you mean?"

Annis shrugged. "I mean what I said. She resigned after Uther did. She hasn't said why. It doesn't look good."

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked again, circling the chair to stand behind it again.

"The Board wasn't going to retaliate. She wasn't in any trouble. She was always in very good standing here."

"And?"

"And she exposed her father's embezzling and resigned. Maybe she was involved and felt that she wasn't getting her fair share."

Arthur felt his mouth drop open. "You— _what_? Morgana wasn't involved in—she didn't… she wouldn't. You know she wouldn't."

Annis shrugged again. "I don't know anything other than what I've been told, Arthur. She wasn't being pushed out, she would have been welcome to stay, but she left. It makes her motives look… personal. Rather than professional."

Arthur shook his head. "She was upset with…" He trailed off, the full picture of what had apparently happened that morning coming together in his mind. "Do I still have a job?"

"That's up to you. I don't have any reason to doubt your loyalty, but I can't promise the Board feels the same. They're working through Morgana's evidence, and there's going to be an investigation. I imagine you're going to come under suspicion."

Arthur felt his hands starting to shake, and he stuffed them in his pockets. "I haven't done anything. I didn't know anything. I can't…"

"Arthur," Annis said bracingly. "You're not being sacked. You just have to understand how this looks and prepare yourself for whatever questions are going to be asked of you."

"I don't have any answers," Arthur snapped. "I haven't done anything! No one's done—" He cut himself off. He couldn't believe this was happening. He couldn't think. He couldn't _breathe_. "I need to go."

"Of course. I'm not expecting you to be—"

Whatever Annis had to say didn't matter. Arthur left her office even as she was still speaking. He managed to make it back to his desk to get his bag, and then he walked out of the building as quickly as he could. There were still camera crews outside, but he ignored them. He made his way to the nearest docking station for Boris bikes and rode home on autopilot.

~

Of course, when Arthur got back to his flat, Merlin was there.

He and Gwaine were in the lounge, watching something on the telly and laughing like their whole lives weren't falling apart.

"Hey!" Gwaine called after him as he headed for the kitchen. "What are you doing home?"

Arthur ignored him and searched blindly through the cupboards, looking for nothing.

When he stepped back, he found every single cupboard door open.

"Fuck." He was losing it.

He wasn't hungry—it wasn't time for dinner and he hadn't had lunch that long ago—but he needed to _do_ something, so he opened up a can of soup and started warming it on the stovetop.

"I think you're burning your soup," Merlin said.

Arthur looked up, and Merlin filling up a glass of water at the sink. He looked back down and saw that his soup was boiling down and starting to stick to the bottom of the pot.

How long had he been standing there?

"Thanks," Arthur muttered, turning off the burner. He poured the soup into a bowl and set the pot in the sink to be scrubbed out later.

"You all right?" Merlin asked, frowning. "You look… not all right."

"I'm fine." Arthur pulled open a drawer to get a spoon but found that he had opened the wrong one. He floundered for a moment, confused, before turning around to find the right drawer.

"Gwaine said you usually work until 5 or 6," Merlin pressed.

"Yeah. I…" Arthur stirred his still-bubbling soup with the spoon. "There was…"

Feeling weak, Arthur sat down at the island and covered his face with both hands.

"Whoa, hey," Merlin said. He put a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Arthur shook his head and shrugged, trying to dislodge Merlin's hand, but it stayed put. He took a few deep breaths and uncovered his face.

"My father has been embezzling from the company we both work at. My sister works there, too, and she just exposed him to the Board and to the press. And they both resigned. And they both look guilty as fuck and I'm—I'm… I don't know if I can stay there. I don't know if I'll be able to get another job if I leave. And I _don't know_ what to do about the fact that my father is a fucking liar and a criminal and that my own sister just betrayed him."

"Oh, wow." Merlin sat across from Arthur and reached across the island to give Arthur's arm a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sorry. That's… a lot. That all happened this morning?"

Arthur nodded. He looked down at his soup and his stomach clenched. Fuck, he was going to be sick. He was—no. No, he was having a panic attack.

Arthur stood ungracefully and made his way to the bathroom in the hall, not trusting himself to make it all the way to his room. He closed the door and dropped to the floor, trying to breathe even as his throat seemed to be closing up. His head was spinning and his muscles were trembling and he couldn't see anything, he couldn't hear anything, he was completely fucking losing it and he might actually die on this dusty tiled floor.

The next thing Arthur was aware of was the ragged, rapid sound of his own hyperventilating. He was still on the floor of the bathroom, and he still _couldn't breathe_ , and his chest was seizing and his stomach was churning, and now he really was going to be sick.

He scrambled to the toilet and vomited.

It hurt and did nothing to make him feel better or ease his breathing.

When he was finished and empty, Arthur flushed and wiped off his mouth with toilet roll.

His found his face damp, but not from sweat. He was crying. No wonder he couldn't breathe.

Arthur leaned against the wall across from the toilet and tried to pull himself together. He hadn't had a panic attack in years, and he had forgotten how truly hellish they were, but he knew it would pass. It had to pass. Somehow. Either that or he was going to have a heart attack from how hard and fast his heart was pounding in his chest. He hoped he wasn't going to be sick again.

There was a knock on the door and Arthur registered the fact that he was in the hall bathroom, not his own, and that he probably hadn't locked the door.

When he didn't answer, the door opened.

It was Merlin. He crouched down next to Arthur and held out a glass of water.

Arthur shook his head and closed his eyes, mortified. Why did _Merlin_ of all people have to be the one who found him like this?

Merlin set the glass on the floor. "Are you all right?"

Arthur nodded even though they both knew he was far from all right.

"Can I get you anything besides water? Do you have any… medicine, or…"

"No," Arthur managed. His voice was barely more than a croak. "No, I'm… just… I'm fine."

"It's okay if you're not," Merlin said, and then he was petting Arthur's hair.

Arthur sniffled and grabbed more toilet roll to blow his nose. He needed to pull himself together, at least enough to get to the privacy of his own room, but he knew he legs didn't have enough strength to get him down the hall. He barely had enough strength in his arms to reach out for the glass of water. He could barely even keep up his own head.

Merlin took the glass back after Arthur had a few sips of water, probably because of how badly his hands were shaking.

Fuck, this was humiliating.

That thought pushed Arthur over the edge again and he started sobbing before he could stop it. He pulled his legs up to his chest and cried into his knees, gasping for air and wishing Merlin would just leave him in peace.

Instead, Merlin continued petting his hair, sometimes dropping his hand lower to rub at Arthur's back.

Why was Merlin so fucking nice? He barely even knew Arthur.

Eventually, _finally_ , Arthur cried himself out and was able to get his breathing somewhat under control.

"More water?" Merlin asked, squeezing Arthur's shoulder.

Arthur nodded, and when he took the glass from Merlin, his hands weren't shaking anymore.

"Hey!"

There was another knock and Arthur realised that Merlin had closed the door when he'd come in. He and Merlin were in the bathroom together—had been in there for a while together—with the door closed.

Merlin turned and opened the door to let Gwaine in.

"Shit," Gwaine said, taking in the scene. "What happened?"

Arthur shook his head, not trusting his voice.

"He's all right," Merlin answered for him. "Something about his… job and his dad and his sister, I think."

Arthur used the last of the toilet roll to blow his nose and wipe the tears off his face. He was exhausted, and he just wanted to get to his room so he could crawl into his bed and sleep, preferably until this whole mess was over.

Gwaine stepped over Merlin and held out his hands to help pull Arthur up.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

Arthur shook his head. "No," he whispered. "Want to lie down."

"One bed coming right up." Gwaine took Arthur's arm and led him down the hall.

Arthur pulled off his shirt when he reached his room and fell onto his bed in his trousers and shoes.

"Here's your water," Merlin said, setting the glass down on the nightstand.

Arthur grunted in thanks and closed his eyes, ready to hibernate.

Gwaine or Merlin, or maybe both of them, took off Arthur's shoes for him and then pulled the covers out from under him and draped them over him.

"I'll be in the lounge if you need anything," Gwaine said. He leaned down and actually kissed Arthur on the temple before turning out the light and leaving.

Arthur waited until he heard the door close to open his eyes. He reached for the water and took a few gulps before turning over, pulling a pillow over his face, and passing out.

~~~

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Merlin asked as he followed Gwaine to the lounge.

"For now," Gwaine said. He plopped down on the sofa and started up their film again. "He'll probably have another panic attack when he wakes up, but with any luck he'll sleep for a few hours before that."

"You've seen him go through this before?" Merlin asked, sitting next to Gwaine.

"Yeah. His dad's a fucking piece of work, and Arthur's got all sorts of anxiety issues, but don't tell him that. He's in denial."

"About his dad or about his anxiety?"

"Both."

Merlin pulled his feet up onto the sofa and leaned his head on Gwaine's shoulder. "Well, that's shitty."

Gwaine wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulders, pulling him a little closer. "Yeah. Hopefully there's no real crisis and he's just over-reacting, but we'll see what happens."

"Is there anything we can do for him?"

Gwaine shrugged. "You don't have to do anything. I'll probably stick around for the rest of the night, but you're welcome to leave whenever. He'd probably prefer that, to be honest. He is very into people not seeing him when he's not at his best."

Merlin murmured in agreement and tried to focus on the film they had been watching, but it was hard to concentrate. Arthur had looked so lost, so wretched, so unlike how he had been presenting himself to Merlin so far. He really hadn't opened up to Merlin at all before, and now suddenly Merlin had seen him completely falling apart.

It felt like he'd seen something too intimate, too private, too _Arthur_ , especially considering he was basically a stranger.

"I think I need to take Aithusa out," Merlin said, pulling away from Gwaine.

"Are you sure? I didn't mean that you needed to leave, just that you shouldn't feel obligated to stay. Arthur will be fine if you're here when he wakes up. You've already seen all that, so…"

Merlin pushed himself off the sofa and went over to the front door to pull on his shoes. "I'm sure. I need to get some work done, anyway." He flashed Gwaine a grin. "Since I spent all morning fucking."

Gwaine chuckled and got up to give Merlin's arse a goodbye pinch. "All right. Don't work too hard. Thanks for coming over."

"You are very welcome." Merlin poked Gwaine in the ribs and then let himself out.

When he got back to his own flat, he found Aithusa cowering under the dining room table, yipping at a spider on the wall.

"You are a very brave soul," Merlin deadpanned. He grabbed a paper towel from the kitchen, plucked the spider off the wall, and threw it in the bin.

Aithusa head-butted his ankle in thanks.

"I'm your knight in shining armour, aren't I?" Merlin asked as he hooked the lead on Aithusa's collar. "Come on, you silly damsel." He picked her up and carried to the lifts, not putting her down until they were outside.

He took her on a slow walk, letting her choose which way to go each time they hit a corner. As they wandered, he opened up the Grindr app on his phone and scrolled through profiles until he found Arthur's.

_\- I'm sorry this is probably the creepiest way to reach out, but I don't have your number and didn't want to overstay my welcome in your home. Just wanted to say that I hope you get some rest and are doing okay. Let me know if there is anything I can do. Aithusa is really really good at cuddling, so I can loan her out if you'd like!_

He added a dog emoji and his phone number and then sent the message.

~

Merlin spent the rest of his afternoon in his office listening to the _Lord of the Rings_ soundtracks and trying to make progress on two pieces for the game his former studio had contracted him to work on. He was mostly satisfied with the first piece, which featured a looming tree with a large tunnel-like hole in the bottom of the trunk that the main character could explore. The second piece, an enormous, jungle-filled cavern at the end of the tree's mysterious tunnel, was proving to be more challenging. He'd done a few initial sketches, but the scale wasn't working out, and he couldn't decide on which angle he wanted to show the cave from. He'd been given a lot of freedom on this particular setting, and he had too many ideas of what he wanted to be inside the impossible chamber. Tall trees, trees with high roots that lifted the trunks off the ground, trees with invasive vines, dead trees, flowering trees, baobab trees… he'd even played around with confusingly snow-covered trees. Then there was the possibility of adding some kind of water, be it random puddles, a small lake, a trickling creek, a winding river, or maybe just some frozen stalactites and stalagmites. And he had to devise some kind of light source, even though the cave was, well, a cave.

He'd been so stumped by the second piece that he was thinking of turning it into two separate pieces, one looking down on the cave floor and one looking up toward the cave ceiling. That would give him a way to explore the full magnitude of the space, and all the different flora and fauna.

If he could get this right— _really_ right—then it could be a huge boost for his career. When he'd worked at the studio in Montréal, he had mostly worked on smaller games or on specific characters and settings, and everything had been based off someone else's concept art. Now he was influencing the look and feel of an entire game—a major game—and the studio would probably sell a book of his art. Of _his_ art. A _book_.

Or, if his work didn't live up to those standards, the other game artists at the studio would redesign it until it was acceptable, and he would probably have to find another studio—or maybe even start his own studio—to get another chance like this. He'd only been given this opportunity because his former boss had been desperate to keep him involved in the studio, so Merlin had negotiated a higher level of involvement when he moved back to the UK and transitioned to freelance.

Merlin had worked his arse off for that studio—and his former boss, Gaius, was an older gay man who liked the 'diversity' Merlin brought to the team and seemed to think of Merlin as something of a grandson—and it was finally paying off. As long as he didn't fuck it up.

When Merlin finally emerged from his office, he found Gwen and Freya in the living room. Aithusa was in Freya's lap, and a plate of chocolate biscuits was on the coffee table.

"Celebrating or commiserating?" Merlin asked as he situated himself in one of the armchairs with a handful of biscuits.

"Just gossiping," Gwen answered. "I'm being nosy about Leon."

"Yeah?" Merlin looked toward Freya, who was blushing. "That good?"

Freya shrugged innocently. "He's very nice."

"Nice in bed," Gwen clarified.

"Speaking of nice in bed," Freya said, clearly desperate to change the subject, "Merlin's been refusing to talk about whatever it is he's getting up to with Gwaine."

"I have not," Merlin said around a mouthful of food. "You haven't asked."

"I did so. I believe my exact question was, 'How is _that_ going?' And you did not answer."

Merlin chuckled. "Well, if you must know, it is going very sexily."

Freya rolled her eyes. "That much is extremely obvious. I mean the rest of it. Is he lovely?"

Merlin ate another biscuit before answering. "He is, although we're not, like… it's just sex. We haven't even kissed, which is weird and getting weirder by the day, but I guess that just goes to show how very much it really is just sex."

"How in the hell have you not kissed?" Gwen asked, looking indignant.

Merlin shrugged. "I don't know. He had his tongue in my bum this morning but—"

"Merlin!" Freya complained, covering Aithusa's ears. "Not in front of the children!"

"But I guess having his tongue in my mouth is a step too far," Merlin finished, ignoring her.

"Have you… talked about it?" Gwen asked.

"We talked about the fact that it's just sex. I'm honestly fine with whatever. It's a little strange, but the sex is _really_ good, so…"

Gwen shook her head and took another biscuit. "Men are weird," she said before biting into it.

Merlin lifted a biscuit in agreement and then shoved the whole thing in his mouth. "Where's Lance?" he asked around the food. "I feel like I haven't seen them in ages. They didn't even come to our film night the other week."

Gwen gave him a pitying look. "They're out with Percy. I was supposed to be on a date as well, but she cancelled on me."

"Rude," Freya said.

Gwen shrugged. "We're seeing each other tomorrow night instead."

"How do you have time for all of that?" Freya asked, reaching for another biscuit. "I'm seeing _one_ person and even that is sometimes too much."

"I'm telling him you said that," Merlin teased.

Freya rolled her eyes.

"If one person is enough for you, then one person is enough," Gwen said. "Not that Lance isn't enough for me. It's more fun this way, though."

"You know what else is fun?" Merlin asked.

Gwen and Freya both stared at him, waiting for him to answer his own question.

" _Mario Kart_."

Freya looked over at Gwen, who shrugged gamely and nodded, so Merlin started setting it up.

~

On Tuesday morning, Merlin went to the gym to start his day with a sweaty workout. He used one of the elliptical machines for a while, turning the resistance up as much as he could stand, and then went over to a weight bench to work on his arms and back. He didn't particularly enjoy this kind of exercise—he much preferred getting into motion, like running or biking or rowing—but he knew it helped offset the damage he was probably doing to himself by sitting at a computer all day every day.

Plus, it made him look better than he ever thought he would, and he wasn't about to give that up.

When his arms finally gave out, Merlin cooled down on a recumbent bike before going home to shower.

Arthur hadn't been at the gym. Not that Merlin had really expected him to be, especially after what he'd been through the day before. But Merlin had still hoped. He wanted to make sure that Arthur was okay, that Arthur didn't hate him for intruding on his panic attack, that Arthur wasn't irredeemably creeped out by Merlin's Grindr message.

The only thing Merlin could really do was wait and hope that by the next time he went over to see Gwaine, the whole thing would be nothing but a memory.

After he was clean and dry and properly fed, Merlin sat down in his office and tried to focus. He needed to get back to work on the tree and cavern concepts. He needed to have a good—preferably _great_ —draft to share with the studio by the end of the week. He needed to focus and make something inspiring.

But he also just needed some time to be by himself and breathe. Ever since he'd gone over to Gwaine's penthouse the week before, everything Merlin did either seemed to be sex or art.

Not that that was a bad thing. Merlin really enjoyed both sex and art. But he hadn't watched any telly, or read a book, or even jerked off alone since he'd started hooking up with Gwaine. He needed space and he needed to reset and he needed to do something for himself.

He briefly considered settling out on the balcony with a book, or maybe a comic, and some good music. But then he thought better of it and went out with a blanket, his mobile, and some headphones.

Sex with Gwaine was incredible—like, the best he'd had in a while, probably since Elyan—but it was also always hard and fast. And usually that was good. That's what Merlin preferred with men he wasn't actually romantically involved with. But it had been a while since he'd taken the time to just be with himself, slow—or fast if he wanted, but only if _he_ wanted—and easy and simple.

Merlin settled down on the lounge chair and covered himself with the blanket before propping his feet up on a padded ottoman. He slipped in the headphones and opened a private browser tab on his mobile, taking some time to scroll through potential porn he could watch. He could watch some of the usual videos of two men fucking or perhaps a straight couple fucking, if he was in that particular mood. Or he could watch videos of just one man jerking off, enjoying his body, exploring the depths of his pleasure for all to see.

That's really what it was that got Merlin hot. Watching someone who had put himself on full display for others to see his most intimate parts, his most private moments.

Or _being_ someone who put himself on full display like that. Merlin was already wet, and he knew it was mostly because of the position he'd put himself in—out on the balcony where any of his neighbours could see him—rather than the thought of what he was about to watch.

Merlin started playing a video of a muscular-looking man splayed out on a plush sofa and running both hands over his hard cock with something close to reverence. It was a beautiful cock. And the man had beautiful hands.

Merlin watched for a while, just lying back on the lounge chair and enjoying looking between his mobile's screen and his view of the city and of the west tower.

He could see the penthouse balcony—or at least one of them, since Gwaine had mentioned that Arthur's bedroom had its own private west-facing balcony, and the one Merlin could see was facing east. It was too far away for him to be sure, but he didn't think there was anyone out on it. He didn't think there was anyone out on any of the other east-facing balconies on the west tower.

And he couldn't see anyone out on any of the other west-facing balconies on his side of the block of flats, either.

Merlin pushed the blanket off and slid a hand into his joggers. 

The man in the video was very dedicated to his task, but after a few minutes Merlin moved onto another video, and then another, and then another, working himself up and then slowing back down, pulling on his dick and then pushing his fingers into his front to get to his G-spot and then pulling on his dick again. His pants were damp all down the front, and he was having a hard time fighting down his moans, and _fuck_ , he wanted someone on their knees between his legs, sucking on his dick until he came for days.

"Oh," he muttered as his control slipped away and he felt his entire body starting to tense. "Oh, fuck." He planted his feet on the ottoman, pressed his head back against the chair, and bit down on his lower lip as his orgasm overtook him. He wanted to buck up into it, he wanted a hard cock pounding into his front, he wanted to _scream_ from how good it felt to come after teasing himself for so long—and from indulging his exhibitionist streak.

When his dick finally stopped twitching and he came back to himself, Merlin pulled out his headphones and checked the time.

He'd been out on the balcony wanking for an hour.

"Oops," he said, laughing at himself. At least it had been time well spent. He'd really needed that, and he felt so much more relaxed now—so much more in tune with himself.

He went back inside to wash his hands and change into a fresh pair of pants, and then he planted himself in his office and forced himself to get to work.

Luckily, within a few hours, Merlin was actually _love_ with what he'd been able to accomplish on the cave pieces. He had decided to give the cave an ancient, dilapidated look with dead trees and limp vines and lifeless, muddy puddles. Surrounding all of that, though, were crystals. Clear, sharp, many-faced crystals that glowed from within and gave the space an otherworldly look. From a distance, it would look like the cavern was filled with short stalactites and stalagmites, but, upon a closer look, it would be a mysterious, impenetrable labyrinth of glass-like crystals.

He spent some time tracing out translucent reflections in a few of the larger crystals. Most of the images were of the nearby trees, or sometimes other crystals, but for a few of them he drew vague, blurry faces. The more details he added, the creepier the cave became, and the happier he was with the outcome.

When Merlin's mobile buzzed with a text message, he was alarmed to see that he had been sitting at his computer for nearly six hours.

He stood and stretched out his back for a few seconds before checking his mobile. The message was from an unknown number.

**Hey, this is Arthur. Thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry you had to see/deal with all that yesterday**

Merlin read the message a few times and decided to get himself a beer from the fridge. He took it out on the balcony and sat on the lounge chair, covered with the blanket again, to respond.

_It's totally fine! It wasn't a problem. I hope you're feeling better today_

After he sent the text, he opened his beer and took a few long pulls as he waited for a response.

**A little**

Before Merlin could try to come up with a reply, Arthur sent another message.

**I didn't go to work today but somehow I'm still exhausted**

_I'm sorry, that's not fun. I meant what I said though… if you want to borrow Aithusa, she's really enthusiastic about cheering people up_

By the time Arthur responded to that, Merlin had finished his beer.

**If you're not too busy, could I come over? Or I can take her for a walk if you are busy? I just need to get out of my room for a bit**

_Absolutely! I'm not too busy. I'm not sure where Freya is (maybe out for dinner with Leon?) so it's just me and Aithusa. You're welcome to come over whenever, just text me when you're here_

Merlin pulled the blanket up over his shoulders, pulled his legs up into the chair, and watched the sun set as he waited.

He didn't know what he was doing. He and Arthur weren't friends—they barely even knew each other. Every time they had what Merlin felt was a normal conversation, the next time they talked there was nothing but awkwardness and tension. Especially when Gwaine was there, but Merlin didn't know why. Surely Arthur and Gwaine were mates. Otherwise, why would they live together?

**On my way**

When he got Arthur's message, Merlin brought the blanket back inside and dropped his empty beer bottle into the bin. He went in search of Aithusa, who he found hiding under Freya's bed gnawing on a bone, and was luring her out into the living room with a rope toy when his mobile buzzed again.

**Here**

Merlin dropped the rope and unlocked the door.

"Hey—"

Aithusa barrelled past him to nose enthusiastically at Arthur's shoes.

"Sorry." Merlin ducked down to pull Aithusa back into the flat.

"It's fine," Arthur said, stepping in after him. "That's what I came for, right?"

Merlin kicked the door shut before letting go of Aithusa, who immediately went back to Arthur's feet. Arthur sat down and Aithusa crawled into his lap and put her front paws on his chest so she could lap at his chin while he scratched her ears.

"You weren't kidding about the enthusiasm," Arthur said, trying to tilt his face so Aithusa wouldn't be able to lick into his mouth.

"No," Merlin agreed. "She loves attention, and I've been neglecting her all day."

"How could you neglect a face like this?" Arthur asked, slipping into a dopey, higher-pitched tone.

Merlin bit down a smile at Arthur's pet voice and watched him with Aithusa for a minute. He did look tired—he had bags under his eyes and he looked a little pale—but he was grinning and seemed genuinely happy to be on Merlin's floor with an excited dog.

"Do you want something to drink?" Merlin asked. "Beer? Water? I can make tea?"

"Beer would be great, actually," Arthur said, looking up for a moment before Aithusa knocked her big head into his jaw and he had to return his attention to her.

"Coming right up."

Merlin went into this kitchen and pulled out two beers. He poured himself a small glass of water as well and chugged it while looking through the cupboards for a snack. The only thing he could find was a large bag of potato crisps, so he dumped out its contents into a bowl and brought that to the living room along with the beers.

Arthur was on his stomach, holding onto one end of the rope toy and pulling it from side to side as Aithusa growled through her bite on the other end.

"Having fun?" Merlin teased, stepping over Aithusa and setting everything down on the coffee table.

"Not even a little bit," Arthur said before growling back at Aithusa. She yipped and, in the brief moment when her grip loosened, Arthur yanked the toy out of her mouth. He rolled onto his back and pulled her onto his chest. "Morgana always had a service dog growing up. Those little arseholes were my best friends when they weren't on duty."

"Is that your sister?" Merlin asked. He sat cross-legged on the sofa, facing the back so he could keep watching Arthur and Aithusa, and started in on his beer.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. She was born without a portion of her left arm."

Merlin put his elbow over the back of the sofa and rested his chin on it. "Is that how you got into your job?"

"Sort of." Arthur grabbed the tips of Aithusa's overlarge ears and wiggled them back and forth. "I thought I wanted to be a doctor for a while. Rather, my father wanted me to be a doctor. I guess this was the compromise."

"But you like your job?"

"I love it. Or, I thought I did. I thought it was really nice to be able to do what I liked _and_ help people _and_ work with my family, but…" Arthur trailed off and scratched near Aithusa's bum, causing her to snort.

"Have you talked to them?" Merlin asked cautiously.

Arthur frowned and took his time sitting up and starting a new game of tug-of-war before responding. "No. My dad's ignoring all my calls, and Morgana's mobile is just off, I think."

"And your job?"

Arthur shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know. I talked to my boss this morning and she seems happy to keep me on board. I just… it's going to be so awkward." He shook his head, looking defeated. "But there's nowhere else I'd be able to do what I'm doing now, at least not in this country, so… unless I decide to move to Germany, I think I just have to stay there. At least until…" He shrugged again. "I don't know, until something else comes along."

Merlin watched as Aithusa suddenly dropped the rope and went under the sofa to get another toy—a small rubber ball covered in chenille tufts—and present it to Arthur. Arthur tossed the ball toward the dining room table and Aithusa bounded off, her short legs scrambling on the hardwood floors.

"Germany's cool," Merlin said, taking the opportunity to pass Arthur the other beer. "I've been there a few times for work, and it always seemed like it would be a nice place to live."

"I'm sure it would be. I've never wanted to leave London, though."

"No," Merlin agreed. "Me neither."

"Didn't you say you lived in Canada?"

"Yeah." Merlin propped his chin up on the back of the sofa and watched as Aithusa brought the ball over and then head-butted Arthur's knee. "I didn't have much of a choice at the time, in terms of job offers. I tried to settle down there, but… honestly, I was just tremendously homesick the entire time. The only thing that kept me there so long was the guy I was dating."

"Gwen's brother, right?" Arthur tossed the ball over his shoulder and chuckled as Aithusa cocked her head in confusion for a moment before trotting around him.

"Yeah. We did live in the gayest possible neighbourhood in Montréal, though, so that was fun. I do kind of miss that aspect. And the food. And all the friends I made."

"Have you stayed in touch?" Arthur asked, rolling the ball in a wide arc that made it bounce down the hallway.

"Some. I haven't been gone that long, so…" Merlin took a long gulp of his beer. "There were these two cis guys who lived down the hall from me and Elyan. They were probably our best friends there, so I've stayed in touch with them. They had a really stupid cat that Aithusa _loved_ , so they'd bring him over a lot. Especially when—well, Elyan and I had our top surgeries at the same time, which was really stupid because it very much limits your range of motion for a few weeks, so those guys basically took shifts living in our flat for a while to help us out. Aithusa was so whiny when they stopped bringing the cat over every day."

There was a long pause as Arthur tossed the ball for Aithusa again, and Merlin wondered if he'd said too much. Maybe Arthur wan't comfortable talking or hearing about things like top surgery.

"Your boyfriend was trans, too?" Arthur finally asked, his eyes trained on Aithusa.

"Yeah. Most of my Canadian friends were trans. Outside of work, that is. And outside of the guys on our hall. But, yeah. That's probably what I miss most. I haven't really found that here yet."

Arthur took a long gulp of beer and said nothing.

"Cis people are good, too, though," Merlin said to lighten the mood.

Arthur made a vague noise of agreement before looking up and meeting Merlin's gaze for the first time since he'd stepped inside the flat. "I never would have guessed you weren't cis."

Merlin managed not to roll his eyes, but the instinct must have shown on his face because Arthur quickly added, "I mean that as a compliment."

"Yeah. I know." Merlin drank half his beer in one go. "I lucked out, I guess."

"What do you mean?"

Merlin shrugged and watched as Arthur struggled to get Aithusa to drop the ball so that he could throw it again.

"'Passing' is just a whole… _thing_. I don't know. I could play professor and lecture at you all about it, but I really don't want to spend the emotional energy on that when you could just look it up online and spare me."

"Sorry," Arthur said quietly, giving up and letting Aithusa trot off with the ball.

"It's fine. I'm—this isn't my first beer of the evening, and I have a lot of _opinions_ , and sometimes I talk too much when I'm nervous and have to remind myself not to."

Arthur looked back up again. "Why would you be nervous?"

Merlin flushed. "I… I don't know. I don't know. No good reason."

Arthur took another swig of beer and then licked his lips. Merlin found his gaze stuck there after that brief motion—Arthur's lips were so wide, and they looked a little chapped, but Merlin imagined they would still be soft against his own.

Merlin cleared his throat and turned around on the sofa to eat a handful of crisps.

Arthur was attractive—Merlin would have to be blind or _very_ straight not to notice that—and Merlin had thought abstractly about his lips before, but that had been back when they hadn't known each other and had just been two anonymous strangers at the gym. Now Arthur was the flatmate of Merlin's friend with benefits—of _Gwaine_ —and he was off limits.

Merlin had specifically made that choice when he'd invited Gwaine over that first night. And, sure, he'd been briefly distracted by Arthur's bare chest the morning he'd made waffles in Arthur's kitchen, but he'd been sleepy and starving and he hadn't indulged in those thoughts since.

Maybe he needed something more substantial than crisps if two beers was lowering his self-control this much.

"So, what games have you worked on?" Arthur asked as he sat down in one of the arm chairs and reached for the crisps.

"Mostly indie games," Merlin said, grateful for the change of topic. "Have you played anything made by Avalon Studios?"

Arthur's eyebrows shot up. "Yeah. Holy shit, yeah. _Labyrinth of Gedref_ was beautiful, did you work on that?"

Merlin ate a crisp to mask his smile. "Yeah, I did the seascape."

"Like… the whole seascape?"

"Yeah."

Arthur shook his head, looking impressed. "What else have you done?"

"Just a lot of random characters or environments here and there. I did the Fisher King and his throne for _Eye of the Phoenix_ —I liked that one a lot. I got to do most of the work on the dragons in _Aithusa_ , which is obviously what I named this one after," Merlin said, gesturing at where Aithusa was gnawing on the rope toy. "Those are the biggest things I've worked on, so far."

"I haven't played _Aithusa_ ," Arthur said, getting another handful of crisps. "I think Gwaine has. Does he know you worked on it?"

"I doubt it," Merlin admitted. "We don't… talk a whole lot about that kind of stuff."

"About video games?"

"About, like, our jobs. Personal things."

"Oh," Arthur said blankly. He took a pause to eat most of his crisps. "Are you not…"

Merlin shrugged. "It's nothing serious. Just for fun."

Arthur nodded and finished off his beer. "Well. What are you working on now?"

"I can show you, if you'd like," Merlin offered, mostly expecting Arthur to make an excuse to go home now that the mention of Gwaine had brought that strange tension back into their conversation.

"Yeah?" Arthur asked, his eyes wide.

Merlin held back a laugh at the childish expression on Arthur's face. "Yeah. Another beer?"

"Sure," Arthur agreed, and followed Merlin into the kitchen.

"I need real food," Merlin said as he opened the beer and passed it to Arthur, "but apparently Freya and I both forgot to do the shopping. Can I interest you in some takeaway?"

"Oh. Um… yeah. Food would be good."

"How do you feel about Thai?"

"I feel great about it," Arthur said, grinning.

Merlin knocked his third beer against Arthur's second. "All right. Let's figure out what to order."

He led the way to his office and sat down at his desk to pull up a delivery website.

"Wow," Arthur said, and Merlin looked around to see him standing in front of Merlin's bookshelves, which were filled with art books and liberally decorated with figurines of video game and film characters.

"Oh. Yeah, that's…"

"Amazing," Arthur finished for him. He pulled out a book of the art from Hayao Miyazaki's _Princess Mononoke_ and started flipping through it eagerly.

Merlin grinned and turned back to his computer so he could try to concentrate on what to get for dinner. Once he'd picked out what he wanted, he stood from the chair so Arthur could take his place and add to the order.

Aithusa came in as Arthur was scrolling through the options, and Merlin knelt down to pet her. When he looked back up, Arthur was typing in his own credit card information.

"I can get it," Merlin said quickly, standing and hurrying over. "It was my idea."

"Nope," Arthur said, still filling out his information. "My treat. It's the least I can do considering what you've done."

Merlin laughed incredulously. "Arthur, all I did was bring you a glass of water and let you play with my very needy dog. Let me at least pay you back."

Arthur submitted the order and put his card back into his wallet. "It's done."

Merlin shook his head. "So pushy."

Arthur smirked and spun in the chair a little. "This is _very_ comfortable."

"I live in it all day, every day," Merlin said. "It was worth it to buy something nice."

Arthur hummed in agreement and sat up a little straighter to look out the windows. "That your balcony?"

"Yeah," Merlin said, trying not to think about what he's been doing out there just a few hours earlier. "Aithusa's not allowed on it, much to her eternal sadness. You wanted to see what I'm working on?"

"I'd love to, if you want to show me. If you're allowed."

"It's _very_ top secret," Merlin teased, leaning over Arthur to reopen his cave pieces.

"Fuck," Arthur breathed, leaning closer to the computer screen. "That's incredible. What is this for?"

"New game," Merlin said, taking a step back to admire the look on Arthur's face. "Doesn't have a name yet, but this cave is sort of, like, inside of a tree somehow. I think this is going to be the end of the game, so… sorry about the spoiler."

Arthur shook his head, still taking in all of the details. "It's…" He looked up at Merlin. "It's _really_ good."

"It'd better be," Merlin teased. "Technically it's my job to be good."

"Right," Arthur laughed. "Well, you did it." He leaned back in the chair and looked back at the computer. "So, how does it work? Concept art, I mean?"

Merlin sat on the edge of his desk and watched Aithusa dragging her toys into her dog bed. "For these pieces, I'm working with Avalon Studios. I had a meeting with the creative director for this game and the art director, and they gave me the broad strokes of what their plan and the sorts of things they were looking for. It's a lot of environment work, but I'm designing the characters as well. We've gone back and forth on some sketches and these are probably close to the final products for this particular environment. And that's basically what I've been doing since I moved back."

"Just this cave?" Arthur asked.

"No," Merlin chuckled. "Christ, that'd be awful. Before this, I did all the other environments for the rest of the game. Now I owe Avalon these pieces at the end of this week, and they'll spend next week picking over them, and then the week after that I'm flying out to try to get the environments mostly finalised. Then the rest of the art team will take it over and start turning it into an actual game, and I'll get back to work on the character designs."

"Have you been back since you moved?"

"Nope. It'll mostly be work—I'm going for ten days, but I honestly expect to be, like, living in the studio to get as much out of the in-person time as possible. But hopefully I'll be able to see most of my friends while I'm there as well."

"Elyan?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shrugged. "Maybe. We've emailed about it, but it just depends on whether he can get off work and… whether he wants to, I guess. Toronto is like six hours from Montréal, and we're not together anymore, so. If I was bringing Aithusa, he'd probably do it, but I don't know if I'm enough of a reason on my own."

"I'm sorry," Arthur said quietly.

"I'm joking." Merlin flashed a smile to prove it. "The real truth is that it would probably just be really hard to see each other for a weekend. Like, I don't know what we'd do. It would be hard not to fall back into our old ways, you know?"

Arthur nodded and spun the chair around to look at Aithusa. "So you're abandoning her for the Canadian countryside?"

"Montréal is definitely not the countryside, but, yes. She'll be stuck here with Freya. Honestly, you're welcome to keep visiting while I'm gone. I'm sure Freya would love the break. Aithusa gets a little over-affectionate when she isn't tended to on the schedule she prefers."

Arthur laughed and pushed himself out of the chair so he could inspect Merlin's bookshelves some more. "This stuff is incredible," he said after a minute. He pulled out a random book and stared in confusion at the cover. "What language is this?" he asked, holding up the book for Merlin to see.

"Russian," Merlin explained. "It's an old Soviet animated film that got turned into a kids book, basically." He took the book from Arthur and opened it to an illustration of a white horse's head peeking out from a bush and looking down at a hedgehog floating on a river. "I got _really_ obsessed with Soviet animation at uni. Have you ever seen anything done with paint-on-glass animation?"

"I'm not sure I know what that is."

"It's just a really beautiful style." Merlin slotted the book back onto the shelf to stop himself from carrying on too much about something he'd studied so long ago. "Although I guess it was mostly post-Soviet stuff. Anyway, there's, um… yeah. Too many books."

"You have _more than one_ Robert Mapplethorpe book?" Arthur asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Merlin admitted, laughing. "I only bought the first one, though. The second was a gift."

"Who the fuck gifts a Mapplethorpe book?"

"Would you believe it was from my mother?"

"I would very much prefer not to."

Merlin chuckled. "Good, because that would a lie."

Arthur shook his head, grinning, and Merlin only realised how close they were standing when he forced himself to look away from Arthur's pretty smile. He stepped back over to his desk and look a long swig of beer.

"It was from my childhood best friend, Will. We dated briefly before I… realised it would never work because he was a straight man and I was probably a mostly gay man. He gave that to me to show that there were no hard feelings."

"That explanation makes zero sense," Arthur pointed out.

"You are correct. Will is an odd duck, but that's why we were best friends. Want to find something to watch?" he asked. "Or something to play until the food gets here, maybe?"

Arthur nodded and followed Merlin back out to the living room. They settled on the sofa and Merlin handed over the remote to Arthur, who turned on the telly and started flipping through channels.

In the end, they resorted to watching standup comedy specials on Netflix, and, by the time they finished eating, they were several more beers in and in pain from laughing so hard.

"Oh, fuck," Merlin said, reaching for the remote and lowering the volume. "I'm going to be sick if we keep watching this." It was an exaggeration, but only a mild one because his stomach really did hurt, mostly from laughter but probably also from all the alcohol.

Arthur pulled the remote out of his hand and clicked back to the Netflix main menu. "Don't be sick, that would be a waste of my money."

"I _told_ you not to pay for it," Merlin complained. He propped his legs up on the coffee table and rubbed his hands over his stomach. "Fuck, what time is it, even?"

"I don't want to know," Arthur said. "Where's Freya?"

"Probably at yours," Merlin guessed. "We played swapsies. Just with the wrong people."

"Wrong how?"

"You should be Gwaine."

Arthur went quiet and Merlin took back the remote to start up an old episode of _Doctor Who_.

"Are you going to work tomorrow?" he asked after he found that he couldn't concentrate on the show.

Arthur groaned and sunk down lower on the sofa. "I don't know. Fuck. I should. I don't want to, though."

"You're welcome to come play with Aithusa all day, instead."

Arthur turned his head, the side of his face pressed into the sofa cushions, and said, "I would rather be here than anywhere else."

Merlin registered that as a strange, somewhat extreme thing to say, but couldn't come up with a response, so he just turned his head as well, and they stared at each other for a long moment.

Merlin had almost forgotten how blue Arthur's eyes were. And how nice the planes of his face were. And how cute his crooked teeth were.

"Can I see your tattoo?" Arthur asked suddenly.

"How do you know I have tattoos?"

"You showed Gwaine," Arthur reminded him. "When we were watching whatever that was. That's when I knew you were trans."

Merlin snorted. "You knew I was trans because I showed Gwaine one of my tattoos?"

"No," Arthur whined. "Because of your dragon shirt."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot I was wearing that. Fuck, I love that shirt."

"Well," Arthur prodded. "Can I see?"

"Oh. Yeah." Merlin sat up a little and tried to pull off his sweater but his t-shirt got tangled up with it and he ended up topless.

Predictably, Arthur's eyes bypassed his tattoo and fell on his scars. Merlin stilled, his heart thumping for some reason. Normally, he tried not to care what anyone else thought. He liked the way he looked and he was happy to write off everyone who didn't, but it still felt stiflingly intimate to bare himself this way, especially for a private audience.

"Wow," Arthur breathed, and Merlin glanced up to see that Arthur had shifted his gaze to Merlin's tattoo.

It was a falcon, like his namesake, but instead of an outline or any detailed line work, the bird was just made up of splashes of colour that roughly formed a silhouette. Behind the falcon, done in minimal black ink, was an hourglass with the sun in the top bulb and the moon in the lower bulb.

"You drew this?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah. It's a merlin. Immortal."

Arthur lifted a hand and traced his fingertips along the bird's wings, and Merlin had to bite down a gasp at the touch.

"Why do you call yourself Merlin?"

"My mother named me after a bird."

"I think my name means 'bear,'" Arthur said, dropping his hand. "Do bears eat birds?"

Merlin snorted. "Probably. Do you want to eat me?"

"Not like that."

Merlin laughed, folding sideways with exhaustion and landing with his forehead pressed against Arthur's thigh. Arthur patted the back of his head. It was conciliatory at first, but then Arthur's fingers slipped into his hair and started massaging his scalp.

Merlin closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. He needed to sit up and—and do something, although he couldn't think of what it was he needed to do. He just needed to do something other than continue to sit here, flopped onto Arthur. Because Arthur's hand on his head felt nice, felt _really_ nice, but Merlin was fucking Arthur's flatmate, and Arthur was going through a professional and personal crisis, and _shit_ , what was Merlin even doing?

Taking a deep breath, Merlin pushed himself up into a sitting position, and then he stood and turned off the telly.

"I… need sleep, I think," he said lamely.

"Yeah," Arthur agreed but didn't move from his spot on the sofa. He was staring down at where his hand had fallen onto the cushions, and he looked lost.

"If you—if it would… I assume—Freya doesn't seem like she'll be back, so…" Merlin scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to get his brain to wake up. "You can crash on her bed if you want. Or the sofa. Or whatever."

Arthur shook his head and stood, looking a little more aware of his surroundings. "No, I'll go home. Thank you, though. For Aithusa. And dinner."

"You paid for dinner," Merlin said stupidly.

"Right. Well, I… goodnight."

Arthur gave a half-hearted wave and let himself out, and by the time Merlin realised that Arthur had left his shoes behind, the hallway was already empty.

~~~

Arthur's head was already pounding as he made his way back to the west tower. He needed water and he needed sleep and he needed another day off work, probably.

Except that he couldn't fathom another day stuck in the penthouse with nothing to do but mope and make futile attempts to contact his family. If he went into work, he'd at least have a valid distraction. The thought of facing his team—of facing his boss, of facing anyone from the finance or marketing divisions—still made him want to jump out a window, though.

When Arthur let himself into his flat, he found Leon in the lounge watching a film.

Leon nodded in greeting, and Arthur flopped down on the sofa and pulled a cushion over his face.

"Whoa," Leon chuckled. "Rough night? Where have you been?"

"Merlin's," Arthur groaned. "I was playing with the damn dog. Sort of. Then one thing led to another and I told him I wanted to eat him."

When Leon didn't respond, Arthur pushed the cushion off and saw Freya standing in the entrance with two glasses of wine.

"Oh," he said and then congratulated himself on his amazing wit.

"You told him you wanted to _eat_ him?" Leon asked.

Arthur shrugged and watched helplessly as Freya sat next to Leon and handed him one of the wine glasses.

"And how exactly did it escalate to that?"

Arthur pulled the cushion back over his face. "I don't know, what was I supposed to say? He was half naked and the only thing going on in my head was a bunch of fucking."

"A bunch of fucking what?" Freya asked.

"No," Arthur moaned. "A bunch of fucking." He lifted one hand and made a lazy wanking motion. "As in a lot of sex."

Leon chuckled. "Wait, why was he half naked?"

"We're still talking about Merlin, right?" Freya asked.

"You mean you wanted to eat his arse?" Leon asked before cracking up.

Arthur grunted and rolled off the couch, tossing the cushion at Leon's head and only barely missing the glass of wine.

"Fuck off."

"Should I be worried you're trying to cannibalise my flatmate?" Freya teased. "Because I need him for half the rent."

"I hate both of you," Arthur said without much heat. He made the wanking motion again, but that just made Leon laugh harder, so he retreated to his room and started getting ready for bed.

And when he went to kick off his shoes, he found that he wasn't wearing them.

Had he taken them off in the lounge? Or by the front door? Or in the foyer for some reason?

 _No_ , he realised as he crashed onto his bed, naked. He'd taken them off near Merlin's sofa and Aithusa had dragged them under the dining room table.

The thought of going back to Merlin's flat for any reason made him want to jump out of two consecutive windows, so he decided he would go to work in the morning.

~

When he woke up, Arthur stayed in his bed well past when he would have needed to get up in order to arrive to work on time. Instead, he just stared up at the ceiling, replaying everything that had happened so far that week in his head.

He'd been witness to what was apparently the first conversation Merlin and Gwaine had had about their personal or professional lives.

His sister had publicly accused their father of embezzling. His father had resigned. His sister had resigned. He'd had a panic attack. In front of Merlin.

And then he'd gone over to Merlin's and made friends with Aithusa. And got to see Merlin's art, which was fucking fantastic. And Merlin's tattoo.

And he'd played with Merlin's hair. And said he'd wanted to _eat_ Merlin.

What the fuck was he doing? He needed to be at work. He needed to be with people who weren't making him feel like he was losing it. He needed to be doing something productive.

When he couldn't stand it anymore, Arthur rolled out of his bed and took a shower. He washed his hair and then stood under the stream for a long while, concocting a plan.

After he had gotten dressed and made a quick plate of scrambled eggs, Arthur went to the Boris bike docking station around the corner from his block of flats and headed to Morgana's.

They had exchanged keys years ago on one dark night when they pinky swore that if either of them died, the other would keep their father from going through their belongings.

Arthur had never used his copy of Morgana's key before, and he considered knocking first, but in the end he just let himself into her flat.

"What the fuck?" Morgana demanded from where she was sat at her kitchen island across from the front door.

Arthur closed the door behind himself and held up the key as if that explained why he was there.

"I haven't died. And I have company."

"Nice try." Arthur stepped into the kitchen and saw _Gwen_ pulling two beers out of the fridge. He stopped in his tracks, his mind reeling.

Morgana just rolled her eyes. "Arthur, this is Gwen. Gwen, this is my idiot brother, Arthur."

"We've met, actually" Gwen said, letting the fridge door swing shut and giving Arthur a smile.

"Of course you have," Morgana muttered. She rubbed her temples and gave Arthur a long look. "What are you doing here?"

"You've been ignoring my calls."

"I changed my number."

Arthur scoffed. "And were you going to tell me your new number, or…"

"When I was ready."

"I'm not the one who betrayed our family, Morgana," Arthur said, struggling not to shout. "You can't possibly be angry with me."

"Don't tell me how to feel, Arthur."

"I can go," Gwen offered quietly. She set the beers down on the island and leaned in close to whisper something to Morgana. Morgana murmured something in response and they kissed. On her way out, Gwen gave Arthur's arm a squeeze.

"Are you going to sit down?" Morgana asked, reaching for one of the beers.

"What the fuck was that?" Arthur asked, gesturing at where Gwen had just been.

"What?"

"You know exactly fucking what."

Morgana sighed heavily, but Arthur could tell she was enjoying herself.

"Since when do you date women?" he asked when the silence stretched on for long enough that he knew she wasn't going to start the conversation herself.

"Since I was 17."

"Jesus Christ, Morgana. And you never fucking thought to mention?"

"Of course I did. I just decided not to. It's none of your business."

Arthur scrubbed his hands over his face. He didn't want to have to deal with this on top of everything else.

"I'm not asking for a fucking list of your bedmates, I'm just—I fucking came out to you when I was… _fuck_." Arthur shook his head and turned around to go. He couldn't continue with this conversation. Maybe Morgana had been right to change her number and not tell him. Maybe they needed more time before they could be rational with each other.

"Arthur," Morgana said as he opened the door. "I'm sorry."

Arthur leaned his head against the door, trying to clear his head. He reminded himself that this was Morgana, his _sister_ , and that he loved her. She was completely impossible and knew exactly all the right things to say to make him absolutely furious, but she had always been his biggest ally in life. And he had been the same to her. They had always tried to protect each other, to support each other, to navigate being the children of Uther Pendragon with each other. Morgana was hard as a rock on the outside, like their father, but, Arthur knew, she was much more delicate on the inside. If she had kept this part of herself a secret for so long, there must have been a reason.

Arthur closed the door and settled himself at the kitchen island across from Morgana.

"I'm sorry," she said again, her voice soft. "It wasn't something I felt I could share."

"You could have. I did. You supported me through all the bullshit—what makes you think I wouldn't have done the same for you?"

"Nothing. I know you would have."

"Then why—"

"Because Uther is sexist and he wouldn't have understood."

"I don't know why you've suddenly decided that Dad is the world's worst human, but—"

"I don't think that," Morgana said quietly but firmly. "He raised me. He always did right by me. But he also lied to me about my mother, lied about my birth, told me to my face that women don't have the same feelings or needs as men, and stole incredible amounts of money from a company that does a lot of good for a lot of people, including me. I'm sick of trying to let the good outweigh the bad. He deserves everything that's coming for him."

Arthur grabbed the second beer that Gwen had left and took a long swig. "What do you mean he told you that women don't—whatever it was you said?"

Morgana frowned down at the island between them. "Do you remember when I was involved with Alvarr?"

"Vaguely," Arthur said slowly. "From uni?"

"Yes. He was… he was a dubious character, but my feelings for him were real. Uther refused to accept that and told me that I was being manipulated. That all women are manipulated by men because men have stronger desires and women just want to please. Women are _meant_ to please, and it was my job to make sure I found the most worthy man to bestow myself upon."

"That doesn't sound like something he would say," Arthur lied.

"He did," Morgana said angrily. "You can pretend you don't believe me, but I'm telling the truth. I was 19, Arthur. Or 18, apparently. The point is that I was young and unsure and trying to navigate my first love, and _that_ was what he told me. Do you have any idea the kind of damage that could have had on me if I hadn't already realised he was full of shit most of the time?"

Arthur took another drink. "You know Gwen has a boyfriend, right? That's what Gwaine said. Gwaine's met him. Leon, too."

"Yes," Morgana said, sounding bored. "I've met them, too. Modern life is a rich tapestry, Arthur. We're all adults."

"Are you gay?"

"No."

Arthur nodded and traced the label on his beer bottle with a fingertip. "I thought you said you couldn't trust going to the Board."

"You haven't heard?"

Arthur glanced up to see Morgana's eyebrows raised. "Heard what?"

"Nimueh's been removed. Catrina as well. They were in on it."

Arthur sighed. "Anyone else?"

"Odin. Potentially Rodor, but I think he's being framed since he backed me up."

Rodor was Morgana's boss. Odin was Camelot's Technical Director—he was Annis's boss and leader of Arthur's entire division.

Arthur stood up to keep himself from slumping over the island in a fit of despair. "Is that why you left?"

"Because Rodor was being set up? No. I didn't find out about that until after."

"No, because of how disgustingly widespread this corruption was."

"Yes. I didn't feel good about staying."

Arthur finished off his beer.

"I don't mean that you have to leave as well," Morgana added. "My job was a lot less niche and I can do what I was doing at Camelot anywhere else. It was an easy decision. You don't have to make the same one."

"I don't feel fucking good about staying either." Arthur chucked the empty beer bottle into the bin and relished the loud crashing sound it made.

"Arthur—"

"Have you talked to him?" he asked, turning back to her. "Since Monday. Have you talked to him?"

"Yes," she answered quietly. "I told him if I was called to testify at a trial that I wouldn't hold back, and also that I won't be speaking to him ever again, at least not after he's in prison."

"Christ. Are you listening to yourself?"

"Yes. I'm done with him. At least now he knows that and can finally feel the consequences of his shit actions." Morgana reached for her beer but then seemed to think better of it. "He didn't have too many kind words to say to me, but that's the least surprising part of all this. What has he said to you?"

"He isn't answering my calls," Arthur admitted. "Has he changed his number as well?"

"Not that I know of. He's probably too ashamed of himself to talk to you. He knows you're better than him."

"I'm not—" Arthur sighed and sat back down. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how I can go back into that office. I don't know how I can face Dad. I don't… I just don't know."

Morgana reached across the island to put her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry. I hope you believe that. I didn't want to find out what I did. I didn't want it to be true. And I didn't want you to get hurt by it. But I don't regret what I did."

"I know. You shouldn't. You did the right thing." Arthur covered her hand with his own. "I'm still mad at you, though."

"I can take it."

Arthur smirked. "Yeah. I know you can." He pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair instead. "Are you really dating Gwen?"

"Yes. How do you know her, by the way? And what does Gwaine have to do with it?"

"There's not a simple explanation."

"I'm not going anywhere," Morgana teased.

"Well… are you going to finish your beer?"

Morgana slid it across the island to him, and he took a sip before starting to tell her about the film night Gwaine had initiated with his sticky notes.

~

At 5:15, after the rush of people flooding out of the front doors to go home, Arthur went into Camelot and headed straight for Annis's office.

He found her standing by her desk, one hand on her bag and one hand typing something out on her mobile.

Arthur knocked on the door frame and Annis looked up.

"Were you here today and I missed it somehow?" she asked, frowning.

"No, I just got here. Are you leaving?"

"I was, but I have time. Come sit."

Arthur stepped in and closed the door before settling down in one of the chairs in front of her desk. She sat down as well and gave him a tired smile.

"How are you?" she asked when Arthur didn't say anything to start the conversation.

Arthur shrugged. "I don't know," he said.

Annis nodded. "Yeah. It's been a rough week for everyone, but… I'm sorry that this is affecting you as much as it is. I can't imagine."

Arthur looked around Annis's office, taking in her bookshelf and the newspaper clippings on the walls and the prosthetic models on display.

"Did you know?"

Annis sighed. "Did I know that there was a group of people systematically taking money from this company? No, Arthur. Of course I didn't. Did you?"

Arthur shook his head. "No."

"Have you been reading about everything in the news?"

"No. I'm not sure I want to know the details. Morgana told me Nimueh and Catrina are off the Board, Odin was involved, and Rodor's come under suspicion. Anyone else?"

"Not yet. And I don't think anyone believes Rodor was involved. Odin's just holding a grudge."

"Yeah." Arthur licked his lips and forced himself to look away from the room's decor and back at his boss. "Are we pricing our products too high?"

Annis blinked. "I don't understand."

"People have been stealing large amounts of money from Camelot for years—decades, even—and I've never once heard that we were in financial trouble. Obviously we have our NHS services, but… are we charging our private patients too much? Is that how we've been able to sustain a loss this big without notice?"

"We're not a not-for-profit, Arthur," Annis said after a long pause. "And you know as well as I do the kinds of money our research— _your_ research—brings in."

Arthur nodded. "I do. And it's not enough."

"Look, I'm not intimately familiar with Camelot's finances. If you have questions about the money coming in, then you should ask—"

"Ask who?" Arthur asked sharply.

"Bayard, I suppose. The department hasn't been reorganised yet. But I think you're focusing on the wrong thing. We make life-changing devices here. They're expensive, but our clients have options. The NHS, credit, other companies, saving up for a few years, fundraising, whatever. That's not our concern. Our concern is making the best possible prosthetics. And you are extremely talented, Arthur. I've never met anyone as dedicated to the human wrist."

Annis offered a smile, but when Arthur didn't return it, she continued. "I can't make you stay, but I want you to know that I _want_ you to stay. It might not be easy, and it will probably be awkward, but just because we charge people for our services doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile services. You're working to make a difference in these people's lives, and that's what you need to focus on. There's still a lot you can accomplish here."

Arthur nodded and looked down at the floor for a moment.

He knew she was right, but it still didn't sit well with him, and he caught himself already trying to think of other excuses to walk away.

"How about you take the rest of the week off?" Annis suggested. "Come back next Monday and start fresh."

Arthur didn't have any better ideas, so he nodded and looked back up. "Okay."

"Okay."

Annis's eyes flickered toward her desk phone, probably to check the time.

"Okay," Arthur said again. He stood and Annis followed. "I'll see you on Monday, then. Thank you."

"Of course. Any time. Take care of yourself."

Arthur nodded and let himself out of her office. He tried to call his father on his mobile as he walked back through the building, but Uther didn't answer.

~~~

Merlin spent most of his Thursday cleaning up the cave piece and adding some additional details to the accompanying tree piece. He worked until his eyes were crossing, and then he worked some more, needing everything to be as good as possible. He wanted his art to be perfect and polished and professional, even though he knew it would get edited and changed as soon as he handed it over to Avalon.

He just wanted it to be good. He wanted to make a good impression. He wanted to make a good name for himself in the industry. He wanted to do good work and be involved with good games and live a good life.

When he started losing all control over his posture, even in his expensive ergonomic chair, he saved his work and went to the gym to loosen up and mitigate the fact that he'd been stationary all day.

He got there in time for a pilates class, so he joined, relishing the opportunity to stop thinking about art and just focus on his body.

It didn't take long for his mind to wander to other things, though. Things like Freya, who was clearly enjoying herself with Leon. It was nice to see, especially because she so rarely opened herself up to the possibility of seeing someone for much longer than a one-night stand. Out of everyone who lived in the penthouse, Merlin had got to know Leon the least, but he seemed nice, and he was making Freya happy, so Merlin wasn't going to go looking for flaws.

And then there was Gwaine, who was funny and kind and not really like anyone else Merlin had ever slept with. He was _insatiable_ and confident and very comfortable with what he wanted. He was generous and interested in spending time with Merlin and extremely cuddly.

And yet, they _still_ hadn't kissed, and they had defined this thing between them as purely sexual. It was hard to reconcile that with the casual and intimate way they fucked and spent time together.

In the end, it was probably for the best that they had such drawn such a strict line in the sand. Merlin didn't want to date Gwaine—he wasn't sure wanted to date anyone at all—and hopefully the boundaries would make the inevitable end of their affair easy and simple.

Merlin hoped they would be able to stay friends whenever they stopped sleeping together. He liked spending time with Gwaine. He liked having an excuse to visit the penthouse.

He liked having an excuse to see Arthur.

Although, with Arthur's recent visit to play with Aithusa, maybe they wouldn't need to rely on Gwaine being the middleman, anymore. Maybe they could strike up a real friendship. And then maybe—

Merlin coughed to cut off that train of thought. He couldn't let himself go down that road with Arthur—not while Arthur was going through such turmoil, not while he was fucking Arthur's flatmate, and not while he needed to keep himself focused on work.

When the pilates class ended, Merlin took a slow run on a treadmill, keeping his mind occupied by composing a packing list for his upcoming trip back to Canada.

He couldn't wait to see his old friends. He loved his London friends—they were practically family—but his Canadian friends had really been something special. He'd never met so many people who were like him and who accepted him and who made him feel just normal.

He knew that was all probably largely due to the fact that he'd come into his own during his time in Montréal. Within the first few months of living there, his voice had finally stopped cracking, his beard had finally started coming in properly, and his hips had finally— _finally_ —slimmed down enough for him to actually fit into a pair of mens jeans without spiralling into a pit of dysphoria.

He'd started feeling more confident in himself, more like his true self, and that had definitely enabled him to make the kinds of friends who helped to boost those feelings even more. They'd taught him so much about himself and the broader trans community, and they'd never been afraid to call him out when he said something stupid because he'd been uninformed.

Merlin missed having that kind of group, although he hadn't put too much effort into finding anything similar since he'd returned to London. He'd focused on his old friendships instead, and luckily that had been surprisingly rewarding. Gwen had always been fiercely supportive, but now even Freya didn't bat an eye when he lounged around their flat with his shirt off and his scars on full display. He couldn't have asked for a more welcoming—or more casual—reception when he'd moved back from Canada.

He still wanted something more than his old gaggle of cis friends, though. He just needed to find the time and motivation to jump into London's trans community. It was hard to do that with all his other distractions, like art and Aithusa and Gwaine. Maybe after he visited his Canadian friends and got a full reminder of how wonderful they were, he'd have the drive to seek out something similar in his new home.

After 45 minutes on the treadmill, Merlin started turning down the speed until he could slow down to a brisk walking pace. He spent some time catching his breath and focusing on his posture, and then he turned off the machine and went to find a corner to stretch in.

As he glanced around the gym in search of an empty space, Merlin spotted Arthur doing pull ups on one of the machines against the nearest wall. He had his knees bent under him at right angles, he had sweat through most of his bright red shirt, and he was looking right at Merlin.

Merlin gave a quick wave and Arthur nodded in response before easing himself onto the floor.

Deciding to take that as an invitation, Merlin walked over.

"Hey," he said lamely. "How's it going?"

Arthur made an ambiguous noise and wiped off his face with a small towel.

"How are you?" Arthur asked.

"Good. About to finish up. Did you just get here?"

"No, I came in when—" Arthur paused and scrubbed the towel through his sweaty hair. "I saw you doing yoga when I came in."

"Pilates," Merlin corrected.

Arthur nodded and wiped off his face again. "I've never taken any of the classes here. Are they good?"

"Yeah. The cycling instructor is really funny." Merlin tugged at the hem of his shirt. "Well, I'm going to find somewhere to stretch, so…"

"Yeah." Arthur glanced up at the machine he had just been using. "Yeah. Me, too, I think. I'm not really feeling it today."

Arthur led the way to a piece of empty wall and then pressed his hands to it and stretched his calves out behind himself.

Merlin sat down and started stretching out his arms.

"How's the work situation?" he asked when the silence started making him feel too tense to stretch properly.

"The same. I'm taking off the rest of the week, and… I guess we'll see how it goes on Monday."

"That sounds good." Merlin pressed the soles of his feet together and leaned down. "Have you talked to your family?" he asked, speaking into the floor.

Arthur let out a long sigh as he did some new stretch above Merlin. As Merlin sat up, Arthur lay down next to him and pulled one knee to his chest.

"I saw my sister."

"Yeah? How was it?"

Arthur shrugged as he switched knees. "She… she's dating Gwen, apparently."

"Oh, wow. Small world."

"Yeah," Arthur said bitterly. "Mind you, I had no idea she dated women at all."

"Oh, that's…" Merlin shook his head. "Your family's really going through it."

To Merlin's relief, Arthur laughed. "Yeah, we sure are." He sat up and twisted a little, cracking his back. "Did I leave my shoes at your place the other night?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I kept forgetting to text you about them."

Arthur shrugged. "Same. I can come get them now, if you don't mind? Before I forget again."

"Sure, yeah," Merlin agreed quickly. "That's no problem. We can leave whenever you're ready."

"I have to get my stuff out of the locker room. And shower, probably." Arthur shifted up on his knees and then pushed himself in a standing position, wincing a little.

"I'm going to keep stretching," Merlin said, straightening out his left leg and reaching for his toes. "Flag me down when you're done."

Arthur nodded and headed toward the locker rooms. Merlin finished stretching out his legs and then sat with his back against the wall, closed his eyes, and tried to walk himself through a meditation.

He was nearly asleep by the time Arthur came back and kicked his foot to get his attention.

"Sorry," Merlin muttered, shaking his hands to wake himself up. He stood and stretched his arms over his head.

"Do you need to change or shower or anything?" Arthur asked, adjusting the strap of his gym back on his shoulder.

"No, I avoid the locker rooms like the plague." Merlin started toward the exit and Arthur followed.

"Why? They're not that dirty." Merlin glanced over his shoulder to give Arthur a pointed look. Arthur flushed. "Oh. Right. Sorry."

Merlin gave a smile so Arthur would know he wasn't mad and opened the door. They walked home mostly in silence, Arthur occasionally humming to himself. When they reached their block of flats, Merlin led the way up to his flat and showed Arthur where his shoes had been added to the pile of Merlin and Freya's shoes near the door.

"Thanks," Arthur said, shoving the extra pair of shoes into his gym bag. He stood up and looked back at the front door for a long moment before asking, "Do you want to play a game or anything?"

Merlin took in the bags under Arthur's eyes and the droop of his shoulders. "Yeah, we can do that. I need to rinse off, but you can get started if you want."

Arthur took a step toward the sofa and Aithusa poked her head up from where she was lying on it.

"And I need to take her out," Merlin added, checking the time on his mobile.

"I can," Arthur offered. "If you want? While you're in the shower."

"Really?" Merlin asked.

"Yeah. It's no problem."

"Um… yeah. That'd be great, then." Merlin handed over his keys and fastened on Aithusa's lead. "You can just take her once or twice around the building."

"Cool. Come on, girl. Go for a walk?"

Aithusa yipped gruffly, her stubby tail wagging excitedly, and Arthur let her drag him out into the hall.

Merlin locked the door behind them and hurried into the shower. He didn't know what was going on, but Arthur seemed even more melancholy than he had all week. Maybe the visit with his sister had been even worse than he'd said. Or maybe he was losing patience with missing so many days of work—Merlin always got antsy two or three days into a staycation, and that was when he _wasn't_ itching to distract himself from so much drama. He couldn't blame Arthur for getting down about how badly the week was going.

Arthur and Aithusa weren't back when Merlin got out of the shower, so he walked across the hall to his room naked to finish drying off and get dressed. He heard them coming back as he was pulling on a shirt, and he quickly slipped on socks before going back out to the living room.

"How was she?" Merlin asked, hanging up the lead after Arthur took it off Aithusa's collar.

"Very curious about a little white butterfly," Arthur reported. "It was fucking adorable."

"Aw." Merlin knelt down to scratch under Aithusa's chin. "Did you try to eat it, you little monster?"

Arthur chuckled. "She managed to control her appetite."

"That's the first time anyone has ever said that about her," Merlin said as he stood back up. "Any preferences for games? Or food? I figure we should eat dinner at some point."

"Well… if I weren't here, I would probably be getting falafel takeaway," Arthur suggested.

"Oh, shit. I haven't had falafel in ages. Let's do that."

"I'll put an order," Arthur volunteered, pulling out his mobile as he sat on the sofa. "I'm not picky about games. Whatever you want to play."

"Would you be interested in _Soulcalibur_?"

Arthur chuckled as he typed something out on his mobile. "That sounds perfect, actually."

Merlin set up the game while Arthur ordered their food, and within minutes they were choosing their fighters.

"Oh, no, not—not Voldo, Merlin!" Arthur groaned.

Merlin grinned and confirmed his choice. "Fuck yes, Voldo. What do you have against my creepy friend?"

"The fact that he is creepy." Arthur gestured at the screen. "Enough said, surely."

"I used to make Voldo fan art."

"That's worst news I've ever heard," Arthur said around a laugh. "Jesus. Was it… sexual?"

"No. I mean, it's Voldo, so it was unavoidably sexy, but it wasn't, like, sex scenes or anything. Just a lot of costume work, mostly."

"I don't think we can be friends anymore."

"We should battle it out," Merlin said, starting the duel.

"Ugh," Arthur complained as soon as Merlin advanced Voldo on his Siegfried. "Seriously, those _hips_. They make me want to stick toothpicks in my eyes."

"Drama queen," Merlin teased.

They played through a few rounds until their dinner arrived and Arthur grabbed Merlin's keys and ran out to the lift.

While Arthur was getting the food, Merlin checked his mobile since he had felt it buzzing it his pocket during their game. He found a text from Gwaine.

**;) hey. You around tonight?**

Merlin glanced up at the telly and then over at the door Arthur had fled out of the minute before. He hadn't hooked up with Gwaine since Monday—which felt like a long time considering how often they had been fucking until then—and while his body was somewhat tempted by the offer, he certainly wasn't going to walk away from dinner and games with a despondent Arthur just for a good shag.

_Hey! I can't tonight but let's hang out this weekend_

"Okay," Arthur said, bursting back through the door and kicking it shut behind him before Aithusa could run out into the hall. "Delivery guy had a _lot_ of facial piercings."

Merlin put his mobile on silent and slid it back to into his pocket. "Sounds hot."

Arthur made a vague noise of assent and started setting out their food on the coffee table. Merlin went to the kitchen to grab plates and put the kettle on.

"Did you want beer?" he asked, settling back down on the sofa. "Because I don't actually have any."

Arthur chuckled. "No, I'm fine. Rematch?"

"While we eat?"

Arthur shrugged, balancing his controller on one knee as he took a bite of his falafel sandwich.

"Okay," Merlin agreed. "Fair warning that I am actually falafel-handed, so you're going down."

Arthur choked a little. "What?" he asked around a mouthful of food.

"What?" Merlin asked innocently.

Arthur swallowed and coughed again. "What the fuck is falafel-handed?"

"You know, like… 'I am not left-handed.' I am not… non-falafel-handed. I play better with a falafel in my hand."

Arthur exhaled slowly. "Wow. Okay."

Merlin took a large bite out of his sandwich to hide his grin and started up the next game.

They played until their tea was ready, and then they continued playing, rotating through different sets of characters, until the food was gone and their mugs were empty.

"You are _not_ picking Voldo again," Arthur said, putting his feet up on the coffee table and crossing his ankles.

"The only way to stop me is to pick him yourself."

Arthur let out a long, wrecked sigh before choosing Voldo as his next fighter.

Merlin sniggered and also picked Voldo for himself.

"Fuck, I hate you," Arthur said flatly. "I hate you so much."

Merlin chuckled as he made his Voldo wiggle about on the screen in an unseemly way. "Nah, you're into it."

"I am not. I hate it. I hate him. And I hate you. I can't believe I looked up that stupid shit for you."

"What stupid shit?"

Arthur went quiet, his hands tense around his controller.

Merlin frowned and played the rest of the match without much effort, letting Arthur win.

"What did you look up?" he asked as he set up his next fighter, deliberately skipping over Voldo on the menu.

Arthur scratched a freckle on his arm. "I… you mentioned that, um… that art style with the stained glass, or whatever."

"Paint-on-glass animation?" Merlin asked, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Yeah." Arthur picked his next character quickly and moved into the next battle, his fingers flying over his controller as he took down Merlin with surprising efficiency.

"Jesus," Merlin muttered, fighting pointlessly against Arthur's onslaught. "What the hell?"

Arthur finished off Merlin's fighter and flung his arms up in the air. " _That's_ how you play. Fuck Voldo."

Merlin chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Keep saying that, it's definitely getting across the point that you _don't_ want to fuck Voldo."

Arthur groaned. "Gross." He picked up his controller again and wiggled the sticks. "Keep playing?"

Merlin shrugged and shifted a little on the sofa so he could face Arthur instead of the telly. "What about paint-on-glass did you look up?"

Arthur shrugged and kept his eyes on his controller as he answered. "Just… read about it on Wikipedia. Watched a couple short clips on YouTube. It's pretty."

"Yeah? I fucking love it. Did you watch anything by Petrov?"

Arthur shrugged again. "I didn't really pay attention."

"Did you watch anything with an ocean in it?"

Arthur shook his head and glanced up. "No. Does he just do sea films?"

Merlin grinned. "No, but he did _the Old Man and the Sea_ and a one about a mermaid. I can show you, if you're interested? They're short."

Arthur gave Merlin a shy smile and nodded, and Merlin's stomach flipped a little as he closed out of _Soulcalibur_ to pull up the animations.

~

Merlin took Aithusa to the dog park on Friday morning. He had to carry her there so she wouldn't be too exhausted to play with the other dogs, and then he had to carry her home after an hour so she wouldn't overwork herself.

Once she was happily passed out in her bed in his office, Merlin went for a long run. He'd stayed up too late the night before nerding out with Arthur, and a run wasn't going to make him any less tired, but he needed to do something with his day. He had to turn in his final drafts to Avalon before he went to bed, but that was the only thing on his agenda. And he couldn't spend his whole day fretting over the details of the cave and tree pieces. He just needed to touch up a few things and then send them off.

And he couldn't spend the whole day in his flat with nothing to distract him from memories of the night before. Arthur had stayed on his sofa for hours, letting Merlin show him short film after short film until they were both nearly falling asleep. Merlin had run through every paint-on-glass animation he could find—Arthur had correctly identified Petrov's ocean-set films as inspirations for Merlin's seascape in _Labyrinth of Gedref_ —and then moved on to every other old Soviet cartoon he could think of, and after that he'd found a series of very early American animations.

In the end, Arthur had actually nodded off before Merlin finally turned off the telly and shooed him out the door.

But that wasn't before they'd ended up right next to each other on the sofa, both of them having gravitated more toward the centre each time they sat back down after going to the kitchen or the loo. They'd kept a barely respectable amount of distance between them on the seat, which gave them the freedom both to pretend that they weren't inches away from cuddling and to focus their attentions on their feet. They had both put up their feet on the coffee table, and once when Merlin had been reaching for the remote, his foot had knocked into Arthur's. After that, they'd spent the rest of the night tapping their toes together, either making up their own rhythms or following whatever songs were playing in the short films.

Maybe it wouldn't have felt so weird if they had just acknowledged it in some way, but neither of them had. They didn't talk about it, they didn't laugh about it, they just let it happen. Something about it felt too wrong to speak about.

Or maybe something about it had felt too _right_.

Merlin didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know what Arthur was doing, either. But every time he had the opportunity to halt their slow journey toward awkward sexual tension, he just didn't. He leaned into it instead, and Arthur never stopped it, either.

When the clouds finally opened up and started pouring down over London, Merlin jogged to the nearest Tube stop and made his way home, trying his best to keep a distance from the other passengers so he wouldn't sweat on anyone.

Aithusa greeted him as soon as he stepped back into his flat, one of her toys dangling from her mouth, already dripping with drool.

"How do you already have energy again?" Merlin asked as he bent down.

He tugged the toy out of her mouth and tossed it into the kitchen for her to run after, and then he went to take a shower. When he came back out, Aithusa was asleep again, snoring away under the sofa.

Merlin fixed himself some lunch and set himself up in his office, ready to give his art a once-over before submitting it.

Of course, he got pulled into the editing process and ended up spending several hours adjusting the lighting and small details no one would notice. In the end, he had to make himself stand up to keep from changing anything else. Leaning over his desk, he sent out his drafts to Avalon and then turned off the computer to prove to himself that he was finished.

Flopping down on his bed, Merlin pulled out his mobile and considered his options for the rest of the night. He hadn't seen much of Freya for the past few days, although he guessed she would probably be spending her Friday night with Leon, which left him on his own. He could phone Gwen and see if she was free—he really wanted to know more about her apparent relationship with Arthur's sister—but she probably also already had plans, what with her multiple partners. Lance probably did, too.

He could see if Arthur wanted company. Although, he knew Gwaine rarely worked regular hours, so there was a pretty good chance that Gwaine was home, too. Maybe Merlin could spend his evening getting fucked. Or maybe he could invite Arthur over to his flat again.

Merlin rolled onto his stomach and typed out a message for Gwaine.

_Hey. I'm done for the day, are you around?_

**Sorry, I'm meeting up with Leon and some others after work. I think we're going to see what's playing at the cinema. Come along?**

Merlin considered going out to see a film with Gwaine, but he also considered the alternative, and it was an uncomfortably easy choice.

_I'd probably fall asleep in the theatre, I'm exhausted for some reason. Have fun, though!_

Gwaine didn't respond to that, and Merlin felt a little guilty for turning him down for the second night in a row.

On the other hand, they had definitely decided they were only seeing each other for the sex, so it really shouldn't have been a big deal for Merlin to turn down something closer to a date night.

Except that Merlin knew he probably would have also turned down the opportunity for sex. And now he knew that Gwaine wasn't home and wouldn't be home for most of the night.

Merlin rolled off his bed and went to the kitchen to find something for dinner. He ended up eating a sandwich in front of the telly, idly flipping back and forth between channels until his food was done and his hands were finally free to take out his mobile and send a text.

_How is Friday treating you?_

Arthur's response came almost immediately.

**I'm so fucking bored. What are you doing?**

_Literally nothing_

**Same. You can come over if you want. Also I have no shame, so if you do come, can you please bring Aithusa**

Merlin grinned and pressed his face into a sofa cushion for a moment. He let himself bask in the ease of his friendship with Arthur, and how much Arthur liked his dog, and how blatantly they both wanted to spend time together. Then he pulled himself together and went to find Aithusa.

Fifteen minutes later, Merlin was sat out on Arthur's balcony with a glass of wine in hand. Arthur was stretched out in the next lounge chair with Aithusa in his lap. He looked tired but happy, which was a _really_ good combination on him.

Arthur was talking about some scientific paper he'd read earlier in the day, but Merlin was lost. He didn't know most of the technical words Arthur was using. Arthur didn't seem to mind, though. He seemed perfectly content to talk at Merlin and Aithusa without actually being understood.

Merlin wondered if Arthur had talked to anyone else all day.

"…which is fucking wild," Arthur finished off his summary of the paper.

Merlin gave a murmur of assent.

"You couldn't care less, could you?" Arthur teased.

"Caring is different than comprehending."

Arthur chuckled and drained his wine glass. "Do you think she comprehended?" he asked, rubbing Aithusa's ears.

"She only comprehends food and toys."

"Sounds blissful." Arthur poured himself another glass and settled back in his chair with a long sigh. "Thanks for coming over. I was about to lose it."

"It's no problem at all. I was getting antsy as well. Have you been home alone all day?"

"Yeah. I slept in for once and Gwaine and Leon were both gone when I woke up. They're out seeing some shit film, I think."

"Oh? You didn't want to go?"

Arthur shrugged and traced the little swirl of Aithusa's tail. "I wasn't in the mood." He took a long sip of his wine. "What about you? No other prospects for the evening?"

"I also was not in the mood for Gwaine's film adventures," Merlin admitted. "I probably could have reached out to Gwen or Lance, but it was already late, so I figured they probably had plans." Merlin licked his lips, realising that was actually a poor excuse. He should have reached out to Gwen or Lance to check if they were available. He hadn't spent quality time with either of them in weeks, and he could have at least tried. But, instead, he'd reached out to Arthur.

"Lance is Gwen's boyfriend?"

"Yeah. Well, partner. Or date-mate or whatever other non-gendered term you can come up with."

"Ah. I thought people were referring to her 'partner' to indicate, like… their level of commitment or whatever."

Merlin shrugged. "Yeah. That too."

When Arthur didn't seem to have anything else to add, Merlin asked, "So, Morgana's dating Gwen?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Apparently. Apparently she's always been interested in women. She just never bothered to mention it until just now. I don't even know if she would have ever mentioned it if I hadn't barged into her flat while Gwen was there."

Merlin sniggered. "What were they doing when you barged in?"

"Nothing, thankfully." Arthur sighed again and set his wine glass down so he could rub his eyes without taking his other hand off Aithusa. "I told her I was gay _well_ over a decade ago, and she's been bi or whatever that whole time, too. It's just…"

"That's frustrating," Merlin acknowledged.

"Everything about Morgana is frustrating. Especially the fact that's she right about everything all the time. Don't tell her I said that, though."

"Your secret's safe with me." Merlin refilled his glass and adjusted himself on the chair so he could face Arthur a little easier. "If it makes you feel any better, Gwen is really excellent, so at least you know your sister has good taste in women."

Arthur snorted. "Cheers." He sipped his wine and they sat in silence for a while until he asked, "How do you know Gwen? Through her brother?"

"No, the opposite. I met Lance first, actually. They were always… very genuine, like, _achingly_ so. I guess it rubbed off on me, eventually, because they were the first person I came out to. They started going out with Gwen shortly after that, and then I met her, and through her I met Elyan, and… yeah. And then we all lived happily ever after."

Arthur smiled. "Sounds lovely."

"Yeah. Except for the whole heartbreak thing, but, you know. C'est la vie."

"Sorry."

Merlin shrugged. "It's fine. I'm over it. I think."

Arthur chuckled. "Convincing."

Merlin took a large gulp of wine. "Mostly it was just the loss, you know? Like, I can admit that Elyan and I probably wouldn't have worked out in the long run. And hopefully one day I'll find someone that _will_ work out in the long run. But I still loved him, and we were together for a long time, and we went through some stuff together, so…"

Merlin cleared his throat and turned to look up at the sky, realising that the wine was getting to his head.

"Dunno why we keep putting so much effort into finding love," Arthur said after a while. "Sounds like shit, to be honest."

Merlin snorted. "The shittiest."

"Fancy the hot tub? I can lend you a suit."

Merlin turned to look at Arthur. "You have a hot tub?"

Arthur grinned. "Yeah."

"Fuck yeah."

Merlin followed Arthur back inside where they dropped Aithusa off in the living room. She scrambled up to the loft—probably to curl up and sleep again—and Arthur went to set up the spa while Merlin changed in the loo.

Arthur's trunks were too big and too long and too baggy, though, so Merlin ended up getting into the hot tub in his own pants.

"What music is this?" Merlin asked, taking the fresh glass of wine Arthur was holding out for him.

"Some kind of hot tub playlist on Spotify," Arthur said as he slipped into the water.

"That's incredibly specific."

Arthur chuckled and poured himself a glass a wine before settling in the corner opposite Merlin.

"Well," Merlin said, stretching out an arm along the side of the tub and taking in the view out the full-length windows, "this was an excellent idea."

"Hot tubs make Fridays one hundred percent better, one hundred percent of the time."

Merlin nodded as he sipped his wine. "Question, though. Doesn't it take like six hours for these things to warm up?"

Arthur tossed back most of his wine in one go. "I may have been in here earlier. I've been _very_ bored today."

Merlin bit down a smile. "You should go on holiday. Fuck all this work and family drama."

"I guess technically I've been on holiday all week."

"Having a panic attack is not the proper way to start your holiday."

Arthur snorted and took another long gulp of wine. "True."

Merlin looked down in his glass and could feel himself going red at the suggestion he was about to make but hoped maybe Arthur would blame it on the hot water.

"You should go to Canada," he said. "Get properly away for a few days."

Arthur's eyebrows went up. "Go to Canada… with you?"

Merlin shrugged, flushing deeper. "Yeah. If you like. Montréal's a fun city."

Arthur stared at Merlin for a long moment, and Merlin started tapping his fingers in rhythm to the song coming out of the Bluetooth stereo near the door.

"Or, you know, you could not," Merlin said when he couldn't stand it anymore. "That would probably be weird."

"No," Arthur said quietly. "It would be nice. I just can't reasonably ask for more time off when I just missed a full week."

Merlin nodded. "Yeah. That's fair." He ran a wet hand through his hair and then, setting his wine glass on the edge, slid down to dunk his whole head in the water.

"Fuck, that's hot," he gasped, coming back up.

"It's right in the name, Merlin," Arthur teased.

Merlin scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to get all the warm water out of his stubble.

"I wish we had a nice pool to jump in after this," Merlin said, reaching for his wine again. "We could just alternate between the two until we were pruny."

"Best I can do is fill the regular tub with cool water."

Merlin chuckled. "That's all right. I'm mostly joking." He wiped off his face again, still overheated from his dip.

"Do you ever think about going clean-shaven?" Arthur asked. "It'd be a good look."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Do you know how long it took for me to be able to grow facial hair? I may never grow sick of it. Besides, I was 'clean-shaven' my whole life, and it was not that good of a look."

Arthur laughed silently into his wine glass. "Right," he said. "Sorry."

Merlin lifted a foot to the surface and splashed Arthur a little.

"Hey!" Arthur said, holding his wine over the edge of the tub. "You're ruining my drink."

"Like you don't have more."

Arthur pulled a face and Merlin smiled to himself, sinking lower in the tub until only his neck and head were above the water. He lifted his foot and splashed Arthur again.

~

Merlin woke up to the sound of his own snoring. Or maybe it was the sound of Aithusa snoring, although she rarely slept in his room.

Lifting his head to check, Merlin realised with a nauseating jolt that he wasn't in his own bed. He wasn't even in his own flat.

"Fuck," Merlin groaned, turning onto his side. He could hear Aithusa snoring somewhere nearby, but he couldn't fathom getting up to find her.

The bed in Arthur's guest room was unreasonably comfortable. All Merlin wanted to do was go back to sleep, preferably until his hangover was gone.

He had no idea how long he and Arthur had stayed up. They'd gone in and out of the hot tub several times, drinking more and more wine until they were too drunk to stand the hot water but also too drunk to think of anything better to do. Arthur had escorted Merlin to the guest room and—

Merlin pushed the covers back and confirmed his suspicion that he had slept naked. He could only hope that he had waited until Arthur left the guest room before stripping down.

Taking a deep breath, Merlin forced himself to sit up. His head spun a little, and his stomach was tight and painfully empty, but he knew he needed to get up. He needed to get up and go back to his own home and try to forget that he'd invited Arthur along on his business trip to Montréal.

Merlin got gingerly to his feet and went into the en suite where he found his pants hang-drying in the shower. The rest of his clothes weren't there, though, and it took him a few minutes to remember that he'd gotten changed for the hot tub in Arthur's room.

"Fuck me," Merlin mumbled, pulling on his briefs.

After finding Aithusa under the bed and hoisting her up in his arms, Merlin made his way down the hall to Arthur's master bedroom.

The door was open and the room was empty. The en suite and spa were empty, too, and no one was out on the balcony.

Merlin hurried to get dressed and made it all the way to the front door, but then Gwaine came out of the kitchen.

"Hey."

Merlin set Aithusa down, and she immediately stuck her face in a pair of shoes by the door.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?" Gwaine asked, looking amused.

"I… got drunk in Arthur's hot tub," Merlin admitted. "Slept in the guest room."

Gwaine smirked. "Sounds like a good night."

Merlin shrugged. "How was the film?"

"Stupid, but fun. Leon brought Percy, which was less fun, but whatever."

"Percy?" Merlin asked around a yawn.

"Leon's friend from work… he's the straight guy."

Merlin frowned, wondering if such a coincidence were possible.

"Is Arthur your straight guy?" Gwaine asked when Merlin didn't respond.

Merlin blinked and tried to figure out if he was still drunk because Gwaine's question hadn't made any sense to him. "What?"

"You know. Like, I'm fucking you but pining after Percy. Are you fucking me but pining after Arthur?"

"Arthur's gay."

Gwaine have him a pointed look and Merlin sighed.

He did look genuinely curious, though. It didn't seem like he would be upset or even judgmental if Merlin decided to admit to something. But Merlin wasn't in the right state to have anything close to _that_ conversation.

"No," Merlin said after a moment. "I'm just…" He shrugged, no excuses or explanations coming to mind.

Gwaine didn't look convinced, but he dropped it. "Do you want breakfast? I was just thinking about making waffles."

Merlin looked down to see Aithusa trotting happily down the hall, someone's shoe in her mouth.

"She's going to try to eat that."

"It was Arthur's," Gwaine said, grinning. "He'll live without it. Come on."

Merlin followed Gwaine into the kitchen and propped himself up at the island while Gwaine whisked together the waffle batter.

It took several helpings and a large mug of coffee, but eventually Merlin felt better and properly awake. He stayed at the island for a while, listening to Gwaine recount the film from the night before until Aithusa came in and started pawing at his jeans.

"I need to take her out," Merlin said, slipping off the stool and stretching. "And feed her. She's been very patient."

Gwaine scooped up Aithusa and planted a kiss on her head. "She's a very good girl."

Merlin chuckled and scratched between Aithusa's ears and then tousled Gwaine's hair.

"What are you doing the rest of the day?" Gwaine asked, following Merlin to the front door.

"Dunno," Merlin said as he crouched down to put on his shoes. "Do you have plans?"

"I was hoping to tempt you into Pick a Dick again."

Merlin licked his lips and finished lacing his trainers before standing back up. "Yeah? What are you using to tempt me?"

"Well, the waffles, for one."

"And for two?"

Gwaine tilted his head and gave Merlin a long look. "For two, I won't pester you about your obvious crush on Arthur. And for three, I'll rim you while you ride my face with your arse."

"You're impossible," Merlin sighed.

Gwaine grinned. "Maybe. You're still going to fuck me, though, right?"

"Obviously. You're carrying her the whole way, though," he said, opening the door and stepping into the foyer. "And I don't have a crush on Arthur."

"'Course not," Gwaine agreed conspiratorially. "Who would? He's a complete wanker."

"You're so charming."

Gwaine hit the button for the elevator and leaned in to tug on Merlin's earlobe with his teeth. "You know you like it."

Merlin shook his head, grinning.

~~~

Arthur chose to ignore the odd looks the hotel clerk gave him as he provided her his information to check in. He was sure she must have seen other local people stay in the hotel before. Just because he lived in the same city didn't mean he couldn't enjoy a weekend away at a nice hotel with room service and fluffy robes.

"What brings you to the Balor today?" the clerk asked, smiling, as she handed Arthur's ID and credit card back over.

Arthur fought not to scowl. "Home repairs," he invented.

She nodded, looking sceptical—probably because he'd only booked his room for a single Saturday night—but finished setting up his reservation on her computer without further comment.

"All right." She handed over his receipt, a pamphlet about the hotel's accommodations, and the key card to his room. "Deluxe Junior Suite with a courtyard view. Would you like me to call a butler to assist you with settling in?"

"No, thank you." Arthur tightened his grip on his luggage, feeling ridiculous. "I'm sure I'll manage."

The clerk nodded. "Enjoy your stay then, Dr Pendragon. Please don't hesitate to ring if you need anything at all."

Arthur murmured his thanks and headed toward the lifts.

When he got up to his suite, he dropped his bag in the sitting room and went straight for the bedroom, where he flopped down on the bed and took a few long, deep breaths of the freshly laundered bedding.

He considered never moving again. Maybe he could extend his stay and move into the hotel permanently. Maybe Merlin and Aithusa could take over his portion of the penthouse flat and everyone would live happily ever after without him.

Arthur rolled onto his back with a grunt and started flipping through the booklet he'd been given at the reception desk. The Balor Hotel had a tea store for some reason. Maybe he would go and spend an unreasonable amount of money on some tea and sweets. They had jam and biscuits, too.

There was a fitness centre in the hotel as well. And they offered in-room massages.

Arthur went back into the sitting room to phone the concierge, and within an hour he was lying flat on a massage table while a young woman pressed the bases of her palms into his upper back.

"You're holding a lot of tension," she said, pushing down harder.

Arthur sighed and tried to relax his shoulders.

"There you go." The massage therapist, Mithian, tugged on both of his arms, situating them on the table so that his shoulders were being pulled down. "Rough week?"

"Worst week," Arthur muttered.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I know we discussed doing a full-body massage, but I can focus more on your back, if you'd like."

Arthur nodded and closed his eyes as she continued working the muscles around his shoulder blades. She moved up to the back of his neck after that, and then to his right shoulder.

With a pang of humiliation in his gut as Mithian squeezed his muscles, Arthur realised that he was tearing up. His throat was getting tight and his eyes were getting wet and—yes, he was crying on a massage table in front of a complete stranger. While naked.

He turned his head quickly, pressing his face down into the towel underneath him. He took a deep breath but his chest stuttered on the exhale, and on his next breath he lost it completely.

"I'm sorry," he managed as Mithian stopped massaging him. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise," she said gently, placing both hands on the back of his arm. "You're hardly the first."

Arthur wasn't sure if that was true or if she was just trying to make him feel better. He didn't know if anything would ever make him feel better ever again.

When the towel and the massage table against his chest started making it harder for him to breath, Arthur rolled over and sat up to try to get himself to calm down. The sheet slipped, and Mithian re-draped him calmly and then stayed next to him, her hands on his shoulder.

"Just breathe," she said in a soft voice. "In…" She waited patiently for Arthur to suck in some air. "And out." Arthur released the air on a sob and slumped forward, burying his face in his hands. "That's it. Don't hold back. Just let it out."

Arthur did, his tears dripping onto the sheets until Mithian handed him a tissue.

He couldn't believe the state his life was in. Merlin was—Merlin was only the tip of the iceberg, really. His family was in ruins. Uther had betrayed Morgana, had betrayed Arthur, had betrayed everything he'd ever claimed to stand for.

Morgana was _younger_ than him, somehow. Not by much, but still. And her mother…

And _his_ mother. Uther had cheated on Arthur's mother, _while she was pregnant_ , and had never even been married to Morgana's mother. He'd lied to them so much. Arthur knew that neither he nor Morgana would have taken the truth well at any point, but hearing it from Uther himself would have been better than this.

Anything would have been better than this.

And the money. The unfathomable amount of money that Uther and his co-conspirators had taken from Camelot over the past three decades. And for what? Uther had always lived comfortably, as had his children, but there was nothing extravagant about his lifestyle.

Except for the homes in Italy and Greece that Arthur had only found out about by mistake.

And the art collection that Uther always insisted was made up of reproductions, even though his level of care and security for them suggested otherwise.

And the investments.

Arthur had always just thought that Uther was clever. He'd taught Arthur how to handle money, Arthur was more well off than most of his friends mostly just because he was always conscious of his income. He'd been investing and experimenting with stocks and bonds and various funds since he was old enough to open accounts in his own name, and he'd been reaping the benefits ever since.

But the whole thing was just built on a lie. Uther wasn't good with money—he was a fucking criminal.

He'd stolen money from Camelot, where he'd worked for so long, where both of his children worked, where their whole family had dedicated their lives to building better prosthetics for those that needed them.

Where Arthur never wanted to return. He couldn't imagine walking back into the office on Monday and going back to work like nothing had happened. He couldn't imagine what his junior engineers must be thinking of him, or what the other senior engineers were saying about him, or what everybody outside of his division might have heard about him.

Maybe he wouldn't even be allowed to go back to work like nothing had happened. He hadn't had any contact with anyone besides Annis, but she had said that he might come under suspicion during the investigation. Would anyone really think him innocent? Everyone knew he and Morgana were close with Uther. Everyone knew Camelot was basically their family business. Everyone knew Uther had ushered his children into the company. Maybe now everyone would think they knew why.

Arthur couldn't stand the thought of what his reputation would be like when he went back on Monday.

But he didn't have anywhere else to go. Camelot was the country's premier developer of prosthetics and orthotics, and Arthur wouldn't be able to find a better industry lab without switching fields or moving outside of England or even the UK.

Fuck Uther for marring his career like this. And ruining their family. And being so deeply selfish.

"Dr Pendragon?"

"Don't," Arthur said, sniffing. "Please. It's Arthur."

"Arthur," Mithian agreed, and when Arthur looked up, she was smiling at him.

"I'm so sorry," he said, wiping his eyes.

"You have nothing to apologise for," she assured him. "It's very normal. It's good, actually. It's a sign we were making progress in helping relieve some of your tension."

Arthur nodded and sniffed again. Mithian handed him another tissue, and he blew his nose loudly. Christ, he was such a mess.

"If you'd like, I can continue," she offered. "Or I can give you some time to sit. I can turn out the lights, leave the candles lit…"

Arthur shook his head and wiped off his eyes one last time. "No, I'm—" The word 'fine' died on his lips. "Can we continue? Please."

"Of course. Would you like some water first?"

Arthur nodded, and she handed him a small bottle of water. He took a few sips and blew his nose again before settling back down on his stomach. Mithian adjusted his arms again, pulling on them slightly to make his shoulders relax, before going back to work.

Arthur tried his hardest to keep his mind blank for the rest of the massage. It was a challenge to find anything safe to think about. He liked thinking about playing with Aithusa, but that just made him think about Merlin. He liked having time and space to think about his work and the wrist joints he was engineering, but then he'd just start thinking about everything else going on at Camelot. And thinking about Camelot led to thinking about his family.

In the end, Arthur constructed a fantasy of lying on a beach under the sun. Maybe he had a cool drink in his hand. Maybe someone was with him. Could be just a friend, maybe Leon. Could be someone special, some nameless, faceless man he'd yet to meet. Could even be Morgana, if maybe one day they figured out how to go on holiday together without murdering each other.

When she was finally done with his back, Mithian worked briefly on his arms and then a little longer on his legs and feet, and then she moved up again, massaging up from his lower back to his shoulders until Arthur was so loose and limp than he was nearly asleep.

"All right," Mithian said, leaving one hand on Arthur's back. "How are you feeling?"

Arthur managed a murmur. He opened his eyes and shifted around a little, trying to get his vision or his mind to focus on something.

"Take your time." Mithian pulled her hand away and Arthur managed to sit up. "I'll step out in the hall while you get dressed. There's no rush, but let me know when you're finished."

Arthur nodded, rolling his head. He heard her leaving, the door clicking shut, and tried to find the energy to get off the table.

All he wanted to do was lie down and go to sleep. Maybe not on the massage table, though.

Using thoughts of the hotel's enormous soft bed as motivation, Arthur slipped off the table and pulled his clothes back on, forgetting until it was too late that he should have just gotten into a robe. When he opened the door to his suite, he found Mithian a few doors down talking to one of the butlers.

"Ready?" she asked, flashing him a bright smile. Arthur nodded and she said something low to the butler before coming back into Arthur's sitting room.

"Do you feel any better?" she asked as she started packing up.

"I do," Arthur admitted. "You're a wonder."

Mithian chuckled. "I'm happy to help. Here." She reached into her bag and handed him a small packet of digestives. "Have some more water, too. You'll feel more alert."

"I was thinking of taking a nap, actually," Arthur admitted.

"Don't let me keep you," Mithian said as she folded up the table. "I can let myself out."

"I don't want to be rude."

"It's not rude, I promise. Please."

Arthur considered her for a moment before nodding in agreement. He picked up his wallet from where he'd thrown on the couch as he'd undressed and thumbed through the bills.

"Here," he said, handing over most of his cash. "Thank you. That was exactly what I needed."

Mithian glanced at the money he was trying to give her. "Dr Pendragon, that's really—"

"Please," Arthur insisted. "You deserve it."

Mithian smiled. "I appreciate that. There was a service charge added to your room bill that will cover everything."

"I'm not letting you leave without this."

Mithian rolled her eyes, still smiling, but took the cash. "Are you sure? That's _very_ generous."

"I'm sure."

Mithian nodded and slipped her tip into a pocket. "Thank you very much, Dr Pendragon."

"Arthur," he corrected. "And, like I said, you deserve it. Thank you for everything."

Mithian nodded and held out her hand for Arthur to shake. "My pleasure."

Arthur gave a wave and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind himself. He wanted to just crawl right into the bed, but he was still covered in massage oil. His clothes were already shot, and he didn't want to have to call for his sheets to be changed before he'd even spent the night in them.

Leaving his oily clothes in a heap on the floor, Arthur stepped into the shower in his en suite to scrub himself. He used the hottest water he could stand, enjoying how relaxed his muscles were and wanting to prolong that feeling for as long as possible.

He felt like pudding by the time he was finished, and he crawled under the covers naked and fell asleep within seconds.

~

Arthur checked out of the Balor the next afternoon and treated himself to another lunch in the hotel's restaurant before heading home.

Halfway to the Tube stop, however, he changed his mind and hailed a cab instead.

Uther lived in a large house on the west side of London.

A very large house. Too large of a house for just one man.

Arthur kicked over a potted plant on the front step as he rang the doorbell. No doubt the house—which Uther had bought when Arthur and Morgana were teenagers—had been funded largely by Camelot's stolen money.

Arthur heard the doorbell echo in the front hall of the house, but after five minutes there was no answer at the door. Too frustrated to give up, Arthur continued laying on the doorbell, pounding on and occasionally kicking the front door as well.

He kept up with the onslaught for a full 20 minutes before Uther finally came to the door.

"Oh," Uther said, putting on a ludicrous surprised expression. "It's you."

"You knew it was me," Arthur said flatly. "You have a fucking security camera."

"There's no need for that language," Uther said. "Or that tone."

Restraining himself from kicking over more of Uther's things, Arthur pushed his way past his father and went straight for the kitchen. He sat himself at the bar and dropped his bag to the floor.

"Are you staying?" Uther asked, eyeing Arthur's luggage.

"No."

"Good."

Arthur rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, thinking that maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. He was probably negating all of the relaxing he'd done over the past 24 hours. And he probably wasn't going to get any satisfying answers from his father.

"How's work?" Uther finally asked when he realised Arthur was content to let the silence stretch on forever.

"Couldn't tell you," Arthur said gruffly. "Haven't been in since Monday."

Uther frowned. "Why? Did they ask you to stay home?"

"No, but I didn't exactly feel like being there when I found out what happened."

Uther crossed to a cabinet next to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of some amber-coloured alcohol. He didn't offer any to Arthur.

"What did happen?" Arthur asked.

"I was arrested," Uther said mildly. "Released on bail. I had to surrender my passport."

Arthur scoffed. "That's… that's not really what I was asking."

"What were you asking, then?"

"Why the fuck did you do it? We were never poor, we didn't need the money."

"You don't remember being poor because you were too young. I was raising two children, I had lost two wives, I was—"

"One wife," Arthur corrected. "One mistress."

Uther looked unconcerned with the technicalities. "It wasn't easy."

"Fine. It wasn't easy. _Stealing_ wasn't the answer, though. Especially not for _three decades_ , well past the point where you could have claimed it was needed."

"What are you hoping to hear from me, Arthur?" Uther asked, his expression hardening. He looked old and tired and pale. Arthur wondered if his hair had gone greyer over the past week.

"I don't know," Arthur admitted. "The truth, I guess. Some remorse? Anything."

Uther shook his head. Arthur sighed and turned to look out the windows, wondering why he had come here, what he was trying to accomplish, and how to get out of it now that he saw there was no point.

"Have you heard from your uncle?" Uther asked eventually.

Arthur turned back to him, surprised. "Agravaine? No, why?"

"He's been ignoring my calls," Uther explained. For the first time, he looked worried. Shaken, even. "I've been trying to reach him. Could you try?"

"I guess," Arthur said slowly. "Why?"

"One of his friends, Helios… I'd like to hire him for my defence."

Arthur scoffed. "Are you joking? You want me to phone my uncle so he can ask one of his friends to defend you in court?"

"If you would, yes."

"Why should I?" Arthur demanded. "You were ignoring all my calls. Why shouldn't he do the same?"

"Arthur," Uther said gruffly, and Arthur felt anger spiking through him, "I'm your father. I'm your family. I'm asking for a favour."

"Go fuck yourself," Arthur spat. He picked up his bag and left as quickly as he could, ignoring Uther shouting after him as he let himself out.

He kicked over another potted plant on the front step and then headed for the Tube. He needed to talk to Morgana. He needed to snap out of it. He needed something close to normal.

Morgana didn't seem entirely surprised to see him when he let himself in with his key.

"Couldn't you at least text if you're going to pop in?" she asked as she got up from the sofa. "What if I wasn't home? What if I was in a compromising position?"

"Gross," Arthur said as he flung down his luggage.

Morgana frowned at his bag. "Are you moving in?"

"No, I was—it's a long story." He flopped down in a chair and rubbed at where he had a headache blooming behind his temples. "I just saw Dad."

"Oh," Morgana said after a long moment. "I thought he was ignoring you."

"He was. I went to his house."

"Oh," she said again. "How did it go?"

"Well, now I'm _here_ , so how do you think it went?"

Morgana went to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water for him. She sat back down on the sofa and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"How is he?"

"Fucking infuriating," Arthur muttered. "He's acting like he's done nothing wrong. Like it was completely reasonable for him to do what he did."

"Not surprising."

Arthur shook his head and took a long gulp of water.

"He asked me to contact Uncle Agravaine for him. Something about a friend he wants to hire for his defence team."

Morgana snorted. "What?"

"Yeah. All that money and he's still just grasping at straws, I guess."

"No, I mean, he really thought Agravaine would want to help?"

Arthur shrugged. "I guess. Why wouldn't he?"

"Because he has no reason to. Uther cheated on his sister, and then his sister _died_."

Arthur clenched his jaw, unsettled at hearing his mother talked about that way.

"Besides, if Uther's after Helios, then he's too late."

"Who is this guy?"

"He's a partner at Olaf and Alined. And I've already hired him for myself."

Arthur sighed and drained the rest of his water. "Do I need to hire someone?"

"Not if you haven't gotten involved in all this."

Arthur shook his head.

"Then you're fine."

Arthur scoffed. "I am _not_ fine."

"No," Morgana agreed quietly. "Me, neither."

Arthur sighed again and pushed himself out of his chair to join her on the sofa.

"Any luck on a new job?" he asked.

"I haven't started looking yet. Been a bit distracted."

"Yeah. No shit."

Morgana knocked her knee against Arthur's. "What about you? Are you staying at Camelot?"

"I don't know," Arthur admitted. He pressed himself back into the sofa cushions and looked up at the ceiling. "I haven't been in since last Monday. I'm supposed to go in tomorrow, but the idea of it makes me want to puke."

Morgana patted his knee. "I'm sure it'll be fine. They've always liked you there."

Arthur shrugged. "I guess. I mean, yeah. Annis has made it clear I'm welcome to stay, it just… it feels… tainted, you know?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

Arthur shrugged again. "It's fine. I mean, no. It's fucking not fine. But it's… whatever. It is what it is."

"Have you looked around at all?" Morgana asked. "I'm sure there's _something_ out there that's similar enough—"

"No," Arthur said. "There's nothing. Not in the UK, at least."

"What's that company up in Scotland? I'm sure they—"

"Yeah, but they're _in Scotland_ ," Arthur protested. "My life is in London. At least… it used to be. Maybe I should just move to Malaysia and start everything over."

"Why Malaysia?"

"I don't know. Seems far. I'm sure there's a need for… something I can offer. I don't know."

Morgana chuckled. "Maybe there's something, you know… similar enough but not the same that you can do a little bit closer to home. I'm sure Oxbridge would hire you."

Arthur snorted. "No, thank you."

"Maybe not them, then. You could do your research at a university, though."

"I guess," Arthur said, rolling his eyes. "Literally never wanted that. Specifically decided not to go down that path. But, sure. I suppose if I get very, very desperate, I can beg some university to let me teach and hope they give me a lab I'm able to fund."

"Could happen," Morgana said sensibly. "Might be better than puking at Camelot every day."

"Ugh."

Morgana chuckled. "You're such a drama queen sometimes."

"Well, there's a lot of drama. Someone's got to reign over it all. Might as well be me."

"Yes," Morgana agreed. "You are the most qualified and the most fabulous."

Arthur chuckled and Morgana nudged his shoulder with her own.

"You'd be a good professor," she said, apparently unwilling to drop it.

"Maybe. I just never wanted to be one."

"I thought you liked working with your junior engineers."

"I do," Arthur admitted. "It's not the same, though."

Morgana hummed in apparent disagreement.

"Whatever," Arthur said, not wanting to discuss it any further. "Can I take you out for dinner?"

"Gwen's coming over in a bit."

Arthur sighed and slid lower down on the sofa. "Of course she is."

"You should stay. Get to know her. I promise we won't fuck while you're here."

Arthur groaned. "Thanks, that's so very considerate of you."

"Anything for you," Morgana said, patting his knee again.

~

Arthur barely managed to keep it together enough to prevent himself from having a full-blown panic attack when he got to Camelot on Monday morning. Everyone was _staring_ at him, and the only strategy Arthur had was to keep his headphones in with music blaring as loud as he could stand until he reached the safety of his desk.

"Hey, Pendragon."

Arthur turned to see Tristan, another senior engineer, approaching, and he pulled out his headphones.

"Glad to have you back." Tristan held out a hand, and Arthur shook it hesitantly. "Your juniors have been driving me up the wall."

"Oh?"

"Apparently they like you a lot. Would _not_ stop bugging me about some stupid thing you were working on them with."

Arthur bit down a chuckle. He knew Tristan was just trying to make him feel welcome, even though Tristan had no reason to do so since they didn't exactly have the best working relationship. Still, Arthur appreciated the gesture.

"I'll get them sorted," Arthur said. "Thank for keeping an eye out."

Tristan nodded and gave a wink before leaving for his own desk.

Arthur sat down and turned on his computer, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to keep his shoulders down so he wouldn't tense up too much.

He could do this. He could spend a day at his office. He could get some work done.

And then he could go home and cope with the stress by getting in the hot tub or getting drunk on the balcony or maybe persuading Leon to detach from Freya and play some video games with him.

But first he had to see to his junior engineers.

Ewan was the first one to greet Arthur. He literally jumped up from his desk and flagged Arthur over so he could show off what he'd been working on. Arthur settled at Ewan's computer and walked himself through the model Ewan had been updating.

"Have you built this yet?" Arthur asked, gesturing at the prototype displayed on Ewan's computer.

"No, I'm still running it through some tests."

"It's interesting," Arthur said, standing up. "You should rethink the materials you've proposed."

Ewan frowned. "I tried, but I thought…"

He trailed off and Arthur stayed silent, waiting to see if he would figure it out for himself.

"Actually, what I really want to do is make a new material," Ewan admitted, speaking low enough that he wouldn't be overheard by the other junior engineers. "I think that's our biggest limitation at this point. At least for the carpals."

"I agree." Arthur glanced between Ewan and his computer. "I need to check in with the others, but why don't you put something on my calendar for tomorrow. We can work on a proposal for Odin. Or… whoever. Annis, maybe."

Ewan's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Sure." Arthur grinned. "If you think there's an issue and you're interested in designing the solution, let's make it happen."

"Great, okay. Thank you. I'll set up a meeting. And welcome back," he added as he sat back down.

Arthur nodded his thanks and moved on to his next engineer.

By the time lunch came around, Arthur had nearly forgotten why he'd been worried about coming back to Camelot in the first place.

Then he got pulled into Garreth Kell's office.

Garreth was Camelot's CEO, and, as much as he hated to admit it, Arthur was terrified of the man. He had an imposing presence, he never smiled, and he always looked like he was about to sack the next person who looked at him wrong. Or at least set their house on fire with the intensity of his stern gaze.

Arthur found himself on the receiving end of that gaze as he took a seat in Garreth's office, and it was all he could do to keep from nervously jiggling his legs.

"You were out last week," Garreth said. It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Arthur said. "I wasn't… I needed some time. I'm back now, though. Ready to work."

Garreth nodded. "I'm glad. I want you to know that I think very highly of your work. I know we've been trying to promote you to Lead for a while."

Arthur's heart sank a little. He'd assumed that no one other than Annis and Odin had known he had turned down that offer.

"I like the hands-on research," he explained. "Heading up the senior engineers would be—"

"You'd still have your own projects," Garreth interrupted. "You might even have more time for them."

"Yes," Arthur agreed hesitantly. "The senior engineers need less guidance, though. I like working with the juniors."

Garreth nodded and gave Arthur another long, unnerving look.

"How would you feel about Annis's job?"

Arthur blinked, a little stunned. "Oh, I… I'm not sure. Is she moving up to take over Odin's role?"

"Don't tell anyone," Garreth said. "But, yes. We could tweak things for you in that role. Take out the Lead position since no one's in it right now, anyway. Shift some responsibilities away from the senior engineers and onto you so you'd still have contact with the junior engineers."

Arthur licked his lips, not sure what to say.

"Just think about it," Garreth said. "We have a few more weeks before we'll be making any changes to the team."

Arthur nodded. "Yes, I will. Thank you. I really appreciate it."

Garreth leaned back in his chair and narrowed his eyes a little. "I assume you know I was never a fan of your father."

Arthur hadn't known that at all, but he nodded, anyway.

"He was a great asset to Camelot," Garreth admitted, "but a very difficult man to work with."

Arthur nodded again.

"I know you weren't involved in this. I'll do my best to protect you, but I need you to cooperate with anything asked of you during the investigation, all right?"

"All right," Arthur agreed.

Garreth nodded and stood, abruptly ending the impromptu meeting.

"Stop by anytime," he said as he opened the door to his office.

Arthur hurried to get out of his chair. "Thank you."

Garreth shook his hand as he stepped out in the hall, and then the door was shut, and Arthur was just left standing there, slightly dazed.

He went out for lunch, eager for some air. He bought falafel from a food truck and ate in a small park nearby, trying to contextualise what had just happened.

It was his first day back after an enormous public scandal involving his father and his sister. His father had embezzled from the company and been arrested. There was an investigation. Several board members had been ousted and probably also arrested.

And yet he'd still just been offered a promotion. A promotion two levels up. Even though he'd turned down the promotion for the role one level up several times.

What a bizarre organisation. Where else would go so far out of their way to make sure he knew he was still welcome?

He couldn't deny it felt good. The whole day had felt good. His junior engineers had been excited to see him and show him their work, and he had been excited to help them through their roadblocks.

And yet, he still didn't know if he wanted to stay. He couldn't reasonably accept Garreth's offer when he still had this much doubt.

When Arthur got back to his desk, he found a note from Annis asking him to come talk to her. So, bracing himself for another strange meeting, Arthur went to find her.

"How's your first day back?" she asked when they were settled in her office.

"Fine," Arthur said, crossing his legs. "Everyone's been very nice."

"Good. I heard from Tristan that now you're working with Ewan on a new biomaterial."

Arthur tried not to roll his eyes. Of course Tristan had ratted him out to Annis immediately after pretending to be glad to have him back.

"We're meeting tomorrow to discuss the possibility. I'm not sure what his ideas are, but, personally, I think something softer—"

"I thought you were working with him on the carpus."

"Yes," Arthur said, not liking her accusatory tone. "That's what he wants a new material for. Maybe just for the proximal row, I'm not sure. We've haven't met yet, but—"

"Arthur," Annis said sternly. "While I'm glad to have you back, you need to lie low. We can't have you reassigning projects on your first day in since the scandal."

"I thought I was allowed to reassign projects as I saw fit. Isn't that my job? Matching our engineers with tasks they are bested suited for?"

"Do you know if Ewan has ever worked in biomaterials before?"

"No, but I'm willing to put in the time to help him figure it out," Arthur said impatiently. "He came to me with his idea, and I want him to see it through. We have other people working on the carpus. I met with Sefa this morning. She showed me what progress she made on ulnar deviation while I was—"

"Arthur," Annis cut him off. "Come on. You've never acted this rashly before."

"Maybe I want something new to work on," Arthur said, frustrated. "Maybe I think Ewan has the potential to move this project forward. Maybe I thought I'd been given the discretion to work with my staff on what they're interested in."

"All right," Annis said, holding up her hands in defeat. "All right. I just want you to really think about your priorities. I spoke with Garreth and he said you still seem more interested in what the junior developers are doing than in your own advancement."

"Why can't it be both?" Arthur asked grumpily. "I'm not neglecting any of my other responsibilities. I _like_ working with the junior staff. That's more than I can say for a lot of the other senior engineers, so I don't know why you're trying to discourage it. _Someone_ needs to be looking out for them."

Annis shook her head. "You never cease to amaze, Arthur."

"I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary," Arthur insisted. "I spent my morning with the junior engineers, like I always do. When we're done here, I'm going back to my desk to focus on my own work for the afternoon, like I always do."

Annis nodded and considered him for a moment. "If you want this job," she said, tapping her desk to indicate she meant _her_ job, "then you need to really think about the balance of research and mentoring. This isn't a university. The junior engineers should be able to work on their own merit. That's a concept you've always seemed to struggle with. Meet with Ewan tomorrow and see what his ideas are. If he's not able to implement them on his own, keep him on the carpus."

Arthur nodded even though he had no intention of following those instructions. "Anything else?" he asked.

Annis set her jaw. Arthur thought about apologising for being rude and difficult, but she wasn't exactly being easy, either.

"Just don't sabotage yourself," Annis said softly. "It should be abundantly clear by now that we're not pushing you out. You don't need to upheave everything."

Arthur nodded. "Fine. Understood."

Annis rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her pursed lips. "Get out of here," she said, waving her hand at him. "Let me know how the meeting with Ewan goes tomorrow."

Arthur let himself out of her office without responding. Meetings like that with Annis were always so exasperating, if only because she was usually right. She always let Arthur fight for his say, though, even if she ultimately shut him down.

Maybe she was right this time, too.

Arthur slumped down into his chair and glanced through his work email, accepting an invitation for a meeting with Ewan the next afternoon, and then pulled up his latest 3D model of the wrist.

He played around with the code, adjusting the firmness of the scaphoid and the lunate and running the updated version through simulated stress tests.

He was pretty sure Ewan was on to something. He'd experimented with different materials for the joint at the beginning of the project, but he hadn't ever considering just making a new material to fit his needs.

Ewan was smart and passionate and more interested in Arthur's work that a lot of the rest of his team. Arthur wanted to see him succeed. Arthur wanted to _help_ him succeed.

Maybe Annis was right. Maybe _Morgana_ was right. Maybe he really could be happy in a university setting.

Except that he had explicitly turned down every academic position he'd been offered when he finally finished his degrees and postdoctoral research program and was able to get out of the university systems.

The same wasn't true of all of everyone he'd studied and worked with, though.

Taking a break from staring at his model, Arthur ran a cursory search of one of his former classmates, Geraint, who had stayed on staff at their alma mater when they finished their PhDs.

He found Geraint on the faculty page of McGill University. In Montréal.

Listed as an area of research and expertise was motor control in ankle joints.

Arthur exhaled slowly, damning whatever god of coincidence that had set this up for him.


	2. Under the Moon

~~~

Merlin had printed out a large calendar and spread it out over his desk. He drafted a schedule for himself, sketching out how much time he could reasonably spend on non-Avalon projects over the course of a standard week.

He'd had a call with another studio that morning, discussing a game they wanted to develop and the kind of work they would need from a concept artist.

Merlin really wanted to take the job. It was the first real offer he'd had since moving to London, and he needed to start making a bigger name for himself. He liked the concept, too. They had pitched him a simple fighting game, but they wanted three worlds, each with its own full set of possible characters, and a fourth world where they all might meet for larger battles if the players worked through enough of the early levels. He'd get to design forest, sea, and urban environments with fighters and costumes to match. The studio hadn't had a specific idea for the fourth and ultimate world, but Merlin already knew what he would design if he was able to take the job. He'd told them that he needed a day or two to think it over and check his workload.

When he was finished with the calendar, Merlin took a step back to take in the larger picture.

It looked crowded.

But not in a bad way. Merlin liked being busy. He could definitely stand to be busier than he had been lately. Especially if it came with more money and more prestige.

Merlin tacked the draft schedule to the back of his office door and sat down at his desk.

He knew he should open up his character files for the Avalon game. He hadn't touched them in weeks since he'd been focusing so much on the environments.

But he wasn't in the mood. Or right mindset. Or something. He just felt a little restless. He needed something less intense to do than detailed character and costume design.

Merlin pulled up the emails Avalon had sent him about his travel accommodations and then went to the website for the hotel he'd be staying at.

They were setting him up in a nicer hotel than he ever would have picked for himself. And his room would have a kitchenette, so he wouldn't have to spend a full week dining out every single day. The bedroom was even _slightly_ separate from an area with a sofa and desk that Merlin could use as an office so he could work somewhere other than on the bed. It wasn't a completely separate room, but as long as there was some semblance of separation, he could avoid going crazy from spending the week in one small room.

Not that he planned to spend a ton of time in the hotel. He would spend most of his days at Avalon. And he would probably spend some evenings with his old friends.

Merlin went back to his emails and sent off a message to a few of them so they could try to start coordinating plans. He was flying out on a Sunday and would probably still be struggling with jet lag on Monday, but by Tuesday he figured he could manage to be social.

After that, to continue procrastinating, he called his mother.

"Hi, Merlin," Hunith said happily when she answered. "I'm so glad to hear from you."

"Hey, Mum. Just calling to say hi. What are you up to?" Merlin moved from his office into his bedroom and then out onto the balcony.

"I'm on call."

"Bulk cooking, then?" Merlin teased.

"Of course. And yourself?"

Merlin dragged his chair forward a few inches so he could sit on it and put his feet up on the railing.

"Just sitting at home, really. It's not a very exciting day."

"No? How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun?"

Merlin licked his lips. He'd spent most of Saturday and Sunday having sex with Gwaine. He'd spent Friday night getting drunk in a hot tub and _inviting Arthur to Canada_.

"Just saw some friends," he answered. "Nothing too major."

"No? You didn't do anything you're trying to distract yourself from?"

Merlin chuckled. "Have I phoned you in this position before or something?"

"Just once or twice," she teased.

Merlin dropped his legs back onto the floor. "I don't know. It's nothing. Just… silly stupid romance stuff."

"Are you seeing someone?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

"Not really."

"Wishing you were?"

"Something like that, yeah. I'm going to Montréal on Sunday," he said quickly before she could ask too many more questions. "Avalon's flying me out."

"Oh, that's fun. Do you have any big plans?"

"Not yet. Hopefully seeing my old friends. Might see if there's a good band in town while I'm there. Other than that, I'll just be working a lot."

Hunith hummed, and Merlin could hear some pots and pans clanging in the background of the call for a moment.

"Will you get to see Elyan?"

"Probably not," Merlin said, picking at a seam on his jeans. "It's a long way to come from Toronto."

"I suppose. Still, who knows the next time you'll be back in the same country."

"Probably sometime within the next year," Merlin said reasonably. "Probably at least once a year after that if Avalon keeps hiring me."

Hunith chuckled. "All right. Point taken."

"Yeah." Merlin sighed and put his feet up on the railing again. "I don't know. I'm not sure I'd even want to see him, you know?"

"Why not? I thought you were friends now."

"Yeah. I mean, we are. It's easier to be friends with an ocean between us, though. I haven't seen him since he moved. I don't know what it would be like."

"It might be hard," Hunith said reasonably. "But it would probably still be nice. He was always so lovely."

"Yeah," Merlin agreed. "He was. I don't know, it's up to him if he's able to come up. Mostly I want to see everyone else."

"Sounds nice either way."

A timer went off and Hunith put down her mobile for a few seconds.

"Okay," she said. "Casserole is in the oven. Also I got a text and need to head to the hospital."

"What about your casserole?"

"I'll ask Matthew to come get it out when it's ready. He's used to it."

Merlin laughed. "I'm glad you found a willing replacement for me."

"No one could ever replace you, Merlin."

Merlin rolled his eyes, grinning. "All right. You better be off."

"Well, if I don't talk to you again before the weekend, I hope you have a safe trip. Bring me back something nice."

"I will. Love you, Mum."

"Love you, too, Merlin. Bye."

Merlin hung up and stared up at the sky for a long time, trying his best not to let his gaze drop to the penthouse too often.

He hadn't heard from or seen Arthur since their Friday night in the hot tub.

He couldn't believe he invited Arthur on his business trip. He couldn't believe he'd been so bold and so _obvious_. Who invited a perfect stranger on an international trip?

Not that Arthur was a perfect stranger anymore.

Just a perfect tease. Researching Merlin's favourite art style just because he'd mentioned it offhand—who did that?

Not Gwaine. Merlin had tried to talk to Gwaine over the weekend about their jobs, their families, their hobbies, anything. Gwaine had been game for a while, but he hadn't exactly given up anything especially personal. Mostly he just seemed to want to fuck and cuddle and play video games, none of which involved a ton of talking about anything important.

Merlin had still had a good time. Gwaine was still funny and nice and incredibly hot. He still turned Merlin on more than anyone else Merlin had slept with over the past year.

They still hadn't kissed, though.

Merlin forced himself to get up and go back to his office to work on his character concepts before he talked himself into calling off things with Gwaine.

~

On Thursday, Merlin spent his entire morning on a video call with the new studio that had hired him, brainstorming with the game's art director and working on some rough sketches. They had finalised their agreement the day before, and Merlin was excited to work on something new for once.

The studio was based in Germany, although the art director had a soft Welsh accent.

"Oh, I love that," Daegal said, chuckling at Merlin's hasty drawing of a pirate. "She's perfect."

Merlin grinned and shared another one he'd done while Daegal had been listing the characters he wanted.

"I really love your style," he said appreciatively. Merlin could see him leaning closer to his computer screen to get a better look at Merlin's sketch. "I'm so excited to work with you on this."

"Me, as well." Merlin saw his mobile light up on the corner of his desk with some kind of notification. He turned it over quickly. "Did Cerdan tell you I'd be off the grid for next week and some of the week after?"

"Yes. Canada, right?"

"Yeah. I think I can get back to work for you probably… probably this time two weeks from now, actually. Wednesday or Thursday. I'll try to send some you something more polished tomorrow so you can take a better look while I'm gone and make some notes on what you would like."

"Perfect," Daegal said, smiling widely. "I look forward to it." He checked his watch. "It's nearly noon where you are. Should I let you go for lunch?"

"Yeah," Merlin admitted. "I didn't realise what time it was. I'm sorry if I kept you."

"I always eat late," Daegal said dismissively. "Well, it was great putting a face to your name. Send whatever you're able before you leave, and we'll check back in when you're home from your trip."

Merlin nodded. "Great. Thanks. Enjoy the rest of your day."

Daegal gave a dorky wave before ending the video call.

Merlin turned off his webcam and reached for his mobile to check what his notification had been.

It was a text from Arthur.

**Hey. So. Weird coincidence, but I might be thinking of going into academia. I made plans to visit an old friend who works at a university to see what it's like for him. He's at McGill. I don't mean to crash your trip, but I'm actually planning to head out to see him next week. Just wanted to give you a heads up in case we run into each other in Montréal and you start thinking I'm stalking you.**

"Holy shit," Merlin muttered, staring blankly at the text message.

Before he could think better of it, Merlin called Arthur's mobile.

"Hi," Arthur said when he answered. He sounded confused. "Merlin?"

"Yeah, hey. Uh, look, I just got your text—"

"Yeah, it—I mean, it's… it's a very… interesting coincidence."

"Right," Merlin said, holding back a laugh. "When are you actually going?"

"I'm not sure yet. I just spent my whole morning fighting with my boss and the CEO to let me go, so…. I haven't booked anything yet."

"Do you want me to send you my itinerary?" Merlin asked. "Might as well have a travel buddy, right?"

The line was silent and Merlin swore in his head. _What was he doing?_

"Sure," Arthur said slowly. "I'm—I mean, I'll try to book the same flights, but it'll just depend on what's available."

"Yeah, of course. Just thought I'd offer. I get bored traveling alone, so…"

"I'm not the best travel companion, actually," Arthur said. "You might regret having me with you."

"As long as you don't make me miss the flight, I don't care."

Arthur chuckled. "All right. Then… yeah, send it over, I guess. Thanks."

"Sure. Um." Merlin bit his lip, not sure how to end the call.

"I need to get back to work," Arthur said after a moment, sounding strangely guilty.

"Yeah, of course. I should as well. Um. Text me your email and I'll forward you what Avalon booked for me."

"Okay. Thanks. I… Bye."

"Bye," Merlin said, but Arthur had already hung up. He stared down at his mobile, his heart pounding a little.

He might be bringing Arthur with him to Canada.

After a few seconds, his mobile buzzed with another text from Arthur. This time it just had his email address.

Merlin quickly forwarded his flight and hotel confirmations to Arthur, and then he called Gwaine, needing a distraction.

"You wet?"

"Christ," Merlin laughed. "That's a revolting way to answer a call."

"I figured there was, like… a 50% chance the answer would be 'yes,' though."

"How do you reckon?"

"Dunno why else you'd call, to be honest."

Merlin laughed again. "I guess that's fair. So, um… are you home?"

"Yeah. _Are_ you wet?"

"No," Merlin said, rolling his eyes. "You're welcome to come try and make me, though."

"I'll be there in 15," Gwaine said and then ended the call.

Merlin put his mobile on silent, set it on his desk, and went to take a quick shower.

~

On Sunday afternoon, Merlin dragged his luggage down the hall, onto the lifts, and through the lobby to meet Arthur in the courtyard.

Arthur looked very frazzled. He hadn't been in contact since their call except to text Merlin that he was able to book the same flights and to coordinate what time they should meet to take a cab to the airport. Merlin still wasn't sure what Arthur had meant by not being the best travel companion, but if he had to guess from Arthur's appearance, Arthur must have been scrambling all day to do last-minute packing.

"Hey," Merlin said, setting his bags down on the pavement. "All ready?"

Arthur nodded, so Merlin called a cab on his mobile.

"Should be less than 10 minutes," Merlin said when he hung up. "Looking forward to seeing your friend?"

Arthur nodded again. "Yeah," he said quietly. "It'll be good."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Arthur gave him a rather forced-looking smile. "Just tired."

"Well, we've got a long flight. I'm going to try to stay awake so I don't get fucked too badly by the jet lag, but I'm sure an early nap wouldn't hurt."

Arthur murmured in agreement and busied himself with his mobile.

They stood in silence, with Merlin trying to convince himself that this hadn't been a terrible idea, until the cab came.

After shoving all of their bags into the boot, they got into the back of the cab and headed off to the airport.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Merlin asked when Arthur took an alarmingly deep breath a few minutes into their ride.

"Yup," Arthur said, but then he closed his eyes and continued with the deep breathing.

Merlin did his best to distract himself from Arthur's strange behaviour and just looked out the window, watching the city go by.

Eventually, Arthur's breathing evened out and he cleared his throat. Merlin glanced over and Arthur gave him a small smile.

"Feeling better?"

Arthur shrugged.

"Can I see your passport photo?" Merlin asked, figuring that would probably be good for a laugh.

As Merlin had hoped, Arthur rolled his eyes. "It's not a good one."

"It never is. Come on. I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Arthur smirked and pulled his passport out of his jacket pocket.

"That is a good one," Merlin protested. Arthur's neutral expression in the photo was sort of _smouldering_. Hie eyes were a little narrowed and he must have been biting down because his jaw looked especially square. 

"It wasn't a good hair day," Arthur complained.

"So picky," Merlin said as he handed over his own passport.

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked, running his fingers along the edges.

Merlin grinned. "It's fine. It's all current."

Arthur opened it hesitantly. "Oh," he said after a moment. "Your photo's good as well."

"I look so pale," Merlin pointed out. "The lighting was really rough."

Arthur shrugged and gave the passport back. "You look like you always do."

"Thanks," Merlin said pointedly.

"I didn't mean it like that," Arthur said quickly. "I just meant—"

Merlin punched his arm lightly. "It's fine. I'm joking."

Arthur gave a weak smile and took his passport back from Merlin.

"Was it hard to get it changed?" he asked a minute later, looking out the window.

"Get what changed?"

"Passport. After you…"

Merlin opened his passport and brushed his thumb over the 'M' marker in the Sex/Sexe field.

"No," he said quietly. "It was pretty straightforward."

There was another long period of silence, and then Arthur said, "I fucking hate flying."

"Is that all?"

Arthur looked over his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"I thought you were going to tell me you'd gotten some sort of horrible diagnosis or something. You're _so_ tense. I figured it would be much worse than just one of the world's most common fears."

Arthur smiled sheepishly. "Nah, I just… I really, _really_ hate it. I'm going to dope myself up on anti-anxiety pills as soon as we get through security."

"Good," Merlin said, laughing. "I'd hate for you to have to sit through a seven-hour long flight like this."

Arthur groaned. "It's so long."

"It's shorter coming back."

"By like 30 minutes," Arthur pointed out. "That's hardly anything."

"Better than 30 minutes longer."

"Ugh." Arthur stuck out his tongue and pretended to vomit. "Don't even joke."

Merlin chuckled. "Sorry. Thank you for telling me, though. Is this what you meant when you said you weren't a good person to travel with?"

"Yeah. Full apologies in advance for anything pathetic I do on the plane."

"You'll be fine," Merlin assured him. "I'm a very good flyer. My arms have never once gotten tired on a transatlantic flight."

Arthur snorted. "Thanks, mate."

"That's what I'm here for. Pilot Emrys, at your service. Wait—" Merlin took Arthur's passport back and flipped to the observations page. "You're not a doctor."

"I am," Arthur said, pulling his passport out of Merlin's hands and tucking it back in his jacket. "My doctorate is in medicine."

"I thought you were an engineer."

"I am."

Merlin shook his head. "Sounds unnecessarily complicated."

Arthur chuckled. "I have my first degree in biotechnology," he explained, "the next one in biochemical engineering, the last one in medicine."

"I do not understand your job," Merlin admitted.

Arthur grinned. "Yeah. Most days I don't understand it, either. It was certainly a lot of fuss to get where I am. And now I'm considering going right back into the fuss." Arthur sighed, his smile dropping. "Although I probably could have cut down on the fuss if I'd just… known what I wanted to do from the start. But… this is what I get for trying to please my father, I guess." He rolled his eyes and looked out the window as the airport came into view. "Did you always want to work in video games?" he asked.

"Yeah. Didn't think it would ever actually happen, though," Merlin admitted. "There's, like, 15 billion people who want to work in video games."

"15 billion?" Arthur teased. "You have to compete for jobs with people from alternate universes?"

"Yeah, like 12 of them. It's a nightmare."

Arthur chucked and then, his expression falling again, sunk lower in his seat. "God, I hate flying."

"You'll be doped up, soon," Merlin pointed out. "What are you going to do on the flight? Just, like, watch whatever film they put on?"

"Probably cry."

Merlin laughed a little, not entirely sure if Arthur was joking.

"Actually, if you see me crying, definitely get me a sick bag because that'll mean I'm having a panic attack."

"I'll keep an eye out," Merlin promised. "Or, I'll try. Where's your seat?"

Arthur pulled up the ticket on his mobile. "26C. That was the closest I could get to yours. And it's basically not close at all."

"Maybe someone will be willing to trade."

Arthur shrugged and put his mobile away as their cab approached their terminal.

They headed straight for security once they got inside the airport. There wasn't much of a queue, which was good because as long as they were moving and had things to do, Arthur seemed to be able to cope.

When they got through, Arthur led the way to their gate, where he immediately sat down and pulled out a bottle of pills from his hand luggage.

"Want any?" Arthur asked, holding out the bottle after he'd counted out his pills.

"I'm good," Merlin said, amused. "Surely as a doctor you shouldn't be offering me someone else's prescription drugs?"

Arthur shrugged. "Who are you going to report me to?"

"The pilot, probably."

Arthur chuckled and hurried to down his medication. "Okay," he said after he'd swallowed. "I'm going to go wander around and look at magazines. And buy, like, six packs of gum, probably. Come along?"

"Maybe in a bit," Merlin said as he settled into a seat. "I'll watch our bags here. Text me if you get lost."

Arthur took off and Merlin pulled out a book, intending to read to entertain himself until boarding.

He ended up falling asleep instead, waking up only when Arthur started stroking his hair.

"Hm?" Merlin asked, leaning into the touch for a moment before he realised where he was and who was touching him. He sat up in his chair and picked up his book from where it had fallen on the floor.

"Boarding call in 20 minutes," Arthur said. "Wasn't sure if you wanted—"

"Yeah." Merlin arched his back, stretching out of the poor posture he had slept in. "Thanks. Fuck, sorry. Did not mean to fall asleep. Find your gum?"

"Yeah." Arthur pulled three differently flavoured packs from his pocket. "Want one?"

Merlin took the watermelon pack and put it in his hand luggage. "Thanks. I'm going to go grab a snack or something. Want anything?"

"No, thanks."

Merlin stood up slowly, realising how stiff his legs were and dreading the impending uncomfortable plane seats. He found a loo and then bought a croissant from a small bakery stand. After that, he walked as far as he dared, getting in a last bit of space and freedom, before heading back to the gate.

Arthur was sitting near their bags, staring blankly out the large windows next to their chairs. His hair was sticking up, his shoulders were slumped, and his mouth was hanging open a little.

"Hey," Merlin said, sitting next to him.

Arthur's response was delayed by a few seconds. "Hey."

"Feeling all right?"

"Feeling fucking great." Arthur smiled dopily.

Merlin chuckled. "Good. What sort of—"

The rest of his words were drowned out by an announcement calling for first class passengers to board.

"Fuck," Arthur said, frowning. "We're next."

"Yeah. You just said you were feeling great, though. You'll be fine."

Arthur heaved a big sigh. "I guess. I'm going to go refill my water bottle."

"Do you need help?" Merlin asked as Arthur stood, not entirely sure if Arthur should be allowed to wander alone in that state.

"Nah," Arthur said vaguely before walking off.

Merlin picked up his hand luggage and rifled through it, making sure he knew where everything was.

By the time Arthur came back, their seats had been called and a line had started forming near the gate.

"All ready?" Merlin asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"No," Arthur said moodily, dragging his bag over to the line. "Ready as I'll ever be… red, set, and ready."

"Red, set, and ready?"

"Yeah. Is that what it means? I mean, isn't that a saying that means… that means whatever?"

"I don't think so," Merlin said, holding back a laugh. "Do you mean 'ready, set, go?'"

Arthur shrugged.

"Are you thinking of _Red Dead Redemption_?" Merlin guessed.

"Maybe. Who knows? I certainly don't."

Merlin licked his lips, hoping they would be able to arrange to sit next to each other on the flight. He liked loopy Arthur. And he didn't want anyone else to have to supervise a loopy Arthur for the next seven hours.

When they got onto the plane, Arthur was directed down the first aisle and Merlin down the far one, since their seats were on opposite sides of the wide-body jet. As he followed the single-file line of passengers down his aisle, Merlin saw Arthur settle into a seat toward the back of the first section of economy. He continued farther into the plane, not finding his own seat until he was halfway through the next section.

He had the aisle seat, but there wasn't anyone in the window or middle seats yet. Merlin shoved his bag into the overhead locker and sat down, watching closely for who his neighbours might be.

Finally, a kindly-looking grey-haired woman took the window seat. She introduced herself as Alice and offered Merlin a digestive from a box in her hand luggage.

"I've just had a very buttery croissant," Merlin said. "Thank you, though."

"Let me know if you change your mind, dear."

"Thank—"

"Excuse me."

Merlin looked up to see a middle-aged man stopped at their row, presumably the owner of the ticket for the middle seat.

"Hey," Merlin said, jumping up and out of the way. "Before you get too settled, could I possibly interest you in swapping seats? My mate's a few rows up and I'm trying to see if we can—"

"I'd really rather not," the man said as he started to lift his luggage to put in the locker.

"He's got an aisle seat," Merlin added quickly.

The man put his bag back down. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Next section up, other side. 26C, I think it was."

The man considered him for a moment, and then he shrugged. "I guess that's fine."

"Cheers, thanks. I'll help you find him."

Merlin led the way down the aisle, across the middle bathrooms, and into the next section.

"Hey," Merlin said when he found Arthur slumped low in his chair, his knees digging into the tray on the back of the seat in front of him.

Arthur glanced up and struggled to pull himself back up into a proper sitting position.

"Hey."

"Guy next to me was willing to swap seats."

Arthur looked blankly at the man next to Merlin.

"He'll sit here," Merlin explained. "You can come sit with me."

"Can I still sit on the aisle?" Arthur asked.

"Sure. Come on." Merlin held out his hands and Arthur grabbed them as he got out of his seat. "Thank you," Merlin added to the man as Arthur struggled to get his luggage out from under the seat. "I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem. Is he all right?"

"Yeah, he's just on Xanax or something. I'll take that," Merlin said when Arthur finally managed to pull his bag free. He slung the strap over his shoulder. "Thanks again. Have a good flight," he said to the man before leading Arthur back to their seats.

"Who was that?" Arthur asked, following Merlin so closely that Merlin was nearly tripping down the aisle.

"Guy with the middle seat in my row."

"No," Arthur said loudly, stopping in his tracks.

Merlin looked over his shoulder to see Arthur going pale.

"What's wrong?"

"You said I could have an aisle seat," Arthur said, sounding like Merlin had just murdered his family. "I can't sit in the middle."

"No, I'll sit in the middle," Merlin said, giving Arthur a reassuring smile. "I'll take his seat. You can have mine—mine was the aisle seat."

"Oh." Arthur stared at him for a long moment before smiling, broad and silly. "You're the best, Merlin."

"Yeah," Merlin chuckled. "I know. Come on, it's just up here."

When they reached their row, Merlin pulled his bag down from the locker and slid into the middle seat.

"All swapped?" Alice asked as he pushed his luggage underneath the seat in front of him.

"Thankfully, yeah." Merlin looked up and saw Arthur struggling with his own bag. "Here," he said, holding out his hand. "Just put it underneath."

Arthur handed over his luggage and plopped down in his seat before Merlin had put it away, forcing Merlin to elbow him in the knees a few times until the bag was properly stored.

"Look," he said, tapping the screen on the back of seat in front of Arthur. "We've all got our own tellies. You can watch whatever you like."

Arthur looked unimpressed. "What are you going to watch?"

"Dunno. Maybe nothing," Merlin said. "I brought my 3DS, so—"

"Yeah?" Arthur's face lit up. "What games do you have?"

"I'll probably just play _Pokémon_ ," Merlin admitted. "It's kind of a comfort game."

"I thought you liked flying."

"I'm fairly neutral on it, actually. It's not exactly my favourite thing to do."

Arthur bit his lip, looking worried.

"It's just physically uncomfortable," Merlin explained. "I'm not worried about the flight or anything. We'll be fine."

Arthur nodded. He opened his mouth to say something, but then their flight attendants started reviewing safety protocols, and Arthur turned his full attention toward them.

Arthur was silent while they waited for their turn on the runway. Merlin asked him a few questions, made a few jokes, tried to engage him in any way. Arthur only responded with nods or shakes of his head. His mouth seemed to be glued shut.

Whatever drugs he was on were clearly enough to make him goofy and physically relaxed, but, despite that, it seemed they weren't quite enough to fully keep him from panicking.

"Gum," Merlin remembered when the plane finally started picking up speed. "Do you want gum?"

Arthur shook his head and gripped the edge of the armrest between them.

"You're all right," Merlin promised. He put his hand over Arthur's, and Arthur immediately turned over his own hand, lacing their fingers together and holding onto Merlin's hand with an iron grip.

"You're all right," Merlin repeated, reaching out with his other hand to pet Arthur's hair. He didn't know why that was his instinct, and he could feel Alice's gaze on them, but he didn't care.

Arthur closed his eyes, tilting his head a little toward Merlin.

The ride got bumpier as the plane continued charging down the runway, and then the front wheels lifted off, followed by the back ones, and they were in the air.

Arthur inhaled sharply, his eyes clenched. Merlin held Arthur's hand tightly with both of his, wondering why Arthur was putting himself through this just to visit a university lab. Surely he could have visited a school in the UK and saved himself the trouble.

"We're evening out," Merlin said eventually.

Arthur didn't relax at all. He stayed still and tense until there was a small _ding_ to indicate that passengers could get up from their seats if necessary.

"All done," Merlin said, gently pulling his hand out of Arthur's grip. "We're up."

Arthur exhaled loudly and slumped in his chair, looking exhausted.

"Want me to help you find something to watch?" Merlin offered.

Arthur nodded, so Merlin poked around on Arthur's telly until he found some episodes from the most recent _Bake Off_ series.

Once he was sure Arthur was all set up with headphones, Merlin leaned down and tugged his bag out from the seat in front of him. He found his 3DS and switched it on, settling back in his chair. To avoid using either armrest, Merlin tucked his elbows in and rested his forearms on his thighs, holding the console down by his knees.

" _Pokémon_?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah." Merlin opened up the game and loaded his save file.

Arthur shifted in his seat, turning a little onto his side so he could watch Merlin's game rather than the telly.

"All right?" Merlin asked.

Arthur nodded, folding one arm under his head like a pillow. He reached out with his other hand and trailed his fingers up and down Merlin's arm.

"All right?" Merlin asked again, not sure how else to respond.

Arthur just nodded and continued caressing Merlin's arm.

~~~

Arthur woke up to the loud, jarring sound of the hotel phone ringing next to his head.

"Mm?" he answered, barely able to open his eyes.

"Good morning, Dr Pendragon. This is your 8am alarm call. Would you like—"

Arthur put the phone down and rolled over, pulling a pillow over his face and going back to sleep.

Far too soon, the phone rang again.

"Yes?"

"Good morning, Dr Pendragon. This is your 8:30 alarm call. Would you like a follow-up in 10 minutes?"

"No," Arthur grunted as he sat up, amazed that he'd had the foresight to ask the hotel to ring him twice when he'd checked in. "Thank you."

"My pleasure. We have breakfast available in the lounge next to the lobby. Please don't hesitate to call back if you need anything."

"Thanks." Arthur hung up and forced himself to turn and drop his feet to the floor.

He didn't feel terrible, but he didn't exactly feel normal, either. His body definitely knew that, even though he'd gotten more than eight hours of sleep, something was off. He desperately wanted to crawl back into the comfortable hotel bed and go back to sleep until the jet lag wore off and he felt normal, but he knew there was no point.

Arthur got up with a grunt. He walked past the arm chair next to the bed, past the small dining table and the kitchenette with all the chrome appliances, and into the bathroom to take a shower.

Once he was clean and dressed, he felt marginally more normal, so he went down to help himself to the free continental breakfast before properly starting his day.

Geraint was in class all day and had said he wouldn't be free to host Arthur in his lab until Tuesday. That gave Arthur the whole day to himself. He knew he should probably find the nearest shops and stock up his kitchenette a bit, but what he actually wanted to do was explore.

He _needed_ to explore. He needed to do something to occupy himself so he wouldn't waste the whole day thinking about how he had fondled Merlin for several hours the day before.

He would need to reconsider his dosing on the flight home.

In the meantime, though, he just needed to distract himself and try to forget that it happened.

Arthur spent the rest of his morning at the Museum of Fine Arts. He took his time in the Québec and Canadian collection and then kept himself entertained in the international section by reading all the placards in both English and French. He couldn't understand most of the French, but he liked picking out the words that were the same and attempting to guess at the correct pronunciation.

When his feet starting aching, Arthur went to an observation deck to get a view of Montréal from the 46th floor. Before he went all the way up, he stopped at the observatory's restaurant for a salad and a side of poutine so he could feel like a proper tourist.

The view of Montréal offered by the observatory was lovely. The Saint Lawrence river looked so blue and peaceful. And the city had so many trees. Arthur could imagine Merlin living quite happily in a place like this. There was plenty to do, and the scenery was probably good inspiration for his art.

After that, Arthur wandered through the exhibit on the floor below the observation deck, reading about the various landmarks he had just seen.

By the time he got back to the hotel, the jet lag—and the fact that he'd spent all day on his feet—was catching back up with him. He took another shower, got dressed for bed, and settled in the arm chair, flipping through channels on the telly and half-heartedly looking up potential takeaway options on his mobile.

**How's Montréal treating you?**

Merlin's text came just as Arthur was getting desperate and thinking about skipping dinner and having a large breakfast in the morning.

_Very well. I'm exhausted though. How are you?_

**Also exhausted. Want to get some burgers delivered?**

_Fuck yeah._

**Cool. Come over whenever**

Merlin's room was up on the ninth and top floor, and it was bigger and nicer than Arthur's. Arthur had been lucky to get a room in the same hotel as Merlin at the last minute, and he had a simple studio with no real distinction between the various parts of the room. Merlin had a long loft with a full living area, complete with a sofa, a desk, two arm chairs and ottomans, a coffee table, and a very large potted plant. His kitchen was big enough for the table to fit on the tile floor—as opposed to Arthur, whose table was only a few feet away from the bed—and separated from the entrance hall by a low frosted-glass half-wall. It only reached about two-thirds of the way to the ceiling. There was another half-wall at the end of the sitting room, giving a minimal sense of privacy for the bedroom.

"This is nice," Arthur said when he realised he was just staring around the rooms while Merlin said something about the restaurant they should order from. "Avalon must really like you."

"They're like a 10 minute walk away," Merlin explained, leaning against the kitchen partition. He was in his pyjamas as well. "This was probably the cheapest 'business' hotel in the area."

Arthur shrugged and then paused, picking up on soft music coming from Merlin's bedroom.

"Is that—" He cut himself off, listening closely. "Are you playing Kate Bush?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I put it on when I was unpacking. I can turn it off." Merlin pushed off the wall and heading toward his room.

"No, turn it up. I love Kate Bush."

Merlin looked sceptical for some reason. "Really?"

"Yeah. Didn't you see my Grindr profile?"

"Yes, but all it said was 'destiny and chicken.' What does that mean, by the way?"

"It's what I bring to the table," Arthur said quickly. "I'm doing the 'Wuthering Heights' dance in one of my photos."

Merlin snorted. "Oh my God, you're right. I didn't recognise it."

Arthur grinned as Merlin giggled to himself.

"That's amazing," Merlin said, apparently to himself. Then, to Arthur, "So, burgers?"

Arthur nodded and settled down on the sofa while Merlin set up an order on his laptop. As soon as he sat down, he knew it would be unreasonably difficult to find the energy to get back up again.

"Should be about 40 minutes," Merlin said, sitting down next to Arthur a few minutes later. "Want to see if there's anything good on? I can hook up my laptop to the telly, too. I have some films on there."

Arthur propped his feet up on the coffee table. "I guess we can see what's on first."

Merlin agreed and handed Arthur the remote.

Arthur only had to look through four channels before he found a new film starting.

"What's this?" Merlin asked when Arthur set down the remote on the cushion between them.

Arthur smirked. "You don't know?"

Merlin watched the opening scene for a minute. "Wait, is this _Armageddon_? Why is this on?"

"Don't know and don't care," Arthur said, grinning. "I love this shitty film."

Merlin just chuckled.

When the burgers arrived, Merlin pulled Arthur off the sofa so they could eat their burgers at the table and talk over the film about what other music they both liked. Afterwards, Merlin invited Arthur into his bedroom to see his view.

"What's that rotating light?" Arthur asked, pressing his face to the window to get a better look.

"Hm?" Merlin stepped close to see where Arthur was looking. "Oh, yeah. That's just the beacon."

"Why is there a beacon?"

Merlin shrugged and sat on the edge of his bed. "Dunno. Why not?"

Arthur didn't have an answer to that.

"You should go see it, actually. That building has an observatory, so you can see the whole city. It's fantastic at night, but I'm sure it's good during the day, too."

"Yeah, I went this afternoon," Arthur said, turning away from the window. "It was really cool."

Merlin nodded and then yawned. "Want to finish _Armageddon_ in here?" he asked, leaning over to get the remote off the nightstand. "I might fall asleep."

Arthur chuckled. "I can just go."

"No, stay," Merlin said, already settling himself on the pillows. "I want to keep watching it. I'll definitely fall asleep if you leave. Just keep making fun of it with me and I'll stay awake."

Grinning, Arthur rounded the other side of the bed and fluffed up the pillows until he could sit comfortably against them.

"D'you think any of these actors are Canadian?" Merlin asked sleepily.

"Could be. Why?"

"Dunno why they're showing it."

"Because it's a modern masterpiece," Arthur said sensibly. "One of the greatest films made in the past 50 years. Truly an artistic achievement for everyone involved."

Merlin gave a quiet laugh and Arthur glanced over to see his eyes closed.

"Want me to go?" he offered.

"Nope," Merlin said firmly. "Just resting my eyes. Keep talking nonsense at me."

Arthur chuckled and obliged, adding commentary to the film until he was also too tired to keep going properly.

"And, like, Ben Affleck sing," he said, fighting to keep his eyes open and thinking that he should get up and go back to his own room before it was too late. "Or do an Australian accent. I mean—" He stifled a yawn. "And that's not even getting into how bizarre that whole scene was, anyway."

Merlin made a murmur of assent and Arthur closed his eyes against a wave of fatigue that made all his limbs limp and warm and useless. He tried to think of something funny to say about it—like how it would feel to be weightless in space instead of incredibly heavy on this bed—but he only got half the sentence out before he succumbed to the jet lag and his full stomach.

~

Arthur woke up when the sun managed to come in through the windows above the bed at exactly the wrong angle. He rolled over, trying to get the blinding rays out of his eyes, and came face-to-face with Merlin.

"Fuck," he muttered, glancing around. He and Merlin were both on top of the covers, and the remote was lying between their pillows.

The telly had gone off at some point in the night. Or maybe one of them had woken up enough to turn it off. Arthur couldn't believe he'd slept the whole night on top of the covers in someone else's bed. In _Merlin's_ bed. Jet lag was no joke.

Although, he felt significantly more awake than he had the previous morning.

Moving slowly, carefully, and as quietly as he could manage, Arthur slipped off the bed and went into the sitting area to find his mobile.

It was 7am. He had three hours before he was supposed to meet Geraint on McGill's campus. Maybe he could do the shopping. Or he could jump out the window and hope Merlin would remember him fondly as a simple figment of an artist's imagination.

"Hey."

Arthur looked up to see Merlin standing next to the bedroom partition. His hair was sticking up in absurd ways, and he still looked mostly asleep. It was adorable.

"Hey. I'm sorry if I woke you up."

Merlin shook his head, yawning. "No, I'm glad you did. I definitely didn't set an alarm before I crashed last night."

"Yeah." Arthur ran a hand through his hair, self-conscious that he probably looked just as rumpled—but in a less adorable way—as Merlin. "Um… I'm sorry I completely passed out on you. I should have just gone back to my own room."

Merlin shrugged. "Literally made no difference to me. Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, I guess. I don't remember."

Merlin smiled. "Me neither. Well…" He smacked his lips and yawned again. "I have to get cleaned up, but do you want to get breakfast in a bit?"

"I'm meeting my friend for breakfast," Arthur invented. "Bright and early. I'm sitting in on his first class, so…"

Merlin nodded. "Okay. Well, have fun. I'm meeting some of my old mates for dinner tonight if you want to join us."

"Oh, no. I don't want to impose on your reunion."

"I'm inviting you," Merlin said simply.

"Well. Thank you, but I'm sure I can manage on my own."

Merlin frowned and looked like he was going to protest, so Arthur started heading toward the door.

"I have to go get ready. Thanks for letting me crash. And for dinner."

"Yeah," Merlin said quietly. "Any time."

Arthur gave a wave and let himself out quickly. When he was safe in the lift and heading back to his own room, he dared to looked down at himself. He didn't have much hope that Merlin hadn't noticed he was more than a little hard.

When he was safe back in his own room, Arthur took a long, _long_ shower and then splayed out on his bed and allowed himself to read some of the articles that had been published about Uther's Camelot scandal. Now that he was more than five thousand kilometres away from the whole thing and everyone involved, he felt he could handle some of the details.

It wasn't an uplifting morning, but at least now he knew that his father really had been the ringleader. Everyone else had gotten involved several years—or decades—into the scam. There weren't many details of how and when, but Arthur didn't need them.

At 9, when Arthur was sure Merlin would already be at work, he grabbed breakfast from the hotel and then took his time walking to Geraint's office. The campus was lovely. There were a lot of old stone buildings and plenty of trees.

Geraint greeted Arthur at the door to the building that hosted his office and his lab.

"Fuck, you look old," he said, pulling Arthur in for a hug.

"Not as old as you."

"Ouch." Geraint mimed stabbing himself in the heart. "Right where it hurts."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Glad to see you're still the same idiot."

"'Course. Come on." Geraint nodded down the hall and Arthur followed him. "I have class at 2:30, and then a lab after that, but I'm all yours until then. How was your trip?"

"Long," Arthur said, glancing through the window of a door they passed. "Do you go back home very often?"

"Usually just if I have some occasion to travel for McGill. My mum moved out here a few years ago, so there's very little I have to go back for at this point."

"I assume you like it here, then."

"Love it," Geraint confirmed. "Montréal's a lot more manageable than London. Weather's pretty nice, my house is lovely, my wife is lovely, the students are top-notch. Not much to hate."

"And you like teaching?"

Geraint ushered Arthur around one last corner and into his office. It was small, but Geraint had still managed to cram about 14,000 books onto the shelves behind and next to his desk.

Arthur sat down on the settee next to the door, and Geraint rounded his desk to sit in his large arm chair.

"I heard about what happened." Geraint leaned back and crossed his legs. "I mean, I hadn't really heard. I looked you up after you emailed and read about it."

Arthur nodded. "Yeah. It's, uh… been a long couple of weeks."

Geraint gave him a sympathetic smile. "I bet. Long enough to make you consider an entire career change, apparently."

Arthur shrugged. "'Considering' might be too strong of a word. It's more like… I don't know, I'm just making sure I know what my options are."

"Is Camelot trying to get rid of you?"

"Quite the opposite, actually. I might be trying to get rid of Camelot, though. It's not going to be easy to stay there after all this."

"No," Geraint agreed. "I thought you swore off academia?"

"I might have," Arthur admitted, smiling. "I was young and naive, though."

"And now you're old and naive."

Arthur rolled his eyes, and Geraint laughed.

"Well, whatever it is that's brought you here, I'm glad to have you. What in particular would you like to see this week?"

"Honestly, anything. Whatever you'd like to show me. I'm just curious what your day-to-day is like. And… what your relationship is with the students, and how your lab is run."

Geraint nodded and pulled out his mobile to check the time. "Well, my doctoral advisees might be in the lab. We have a postdoc fellow who may or may not be somewhere in the building. You're probably more likely to see the masters students tomorrow, I think."

Arthur couldn't help but be impressed. "That's a lot to take on."

Geraint just shrugged. "Honestly, they're pretty fantastic. The fellow and the doctoral candidates run a lot of their own research projects. The masters students I have working in my lab, which is a lot of fun. I'm teaching an undergrad mechanical engineering right now—that's who will be in the class this afternoon—but I usually only have that every other semester. You look overwhelmed."

Arthur chuckled. "No, just… amazed you have the time for all that."

Geraint grinned. "I don't. Surely that's the same at all jobs, though."

"Certainly appears that way."

"So, do you just… what do _you_ do all day?" Geraint asked.

"That's classified."

Geraint narrowed his eyes. "You're not that important."

"Rude."

"Am I wrong?"

Arthur smirked. "Always, Geraint. But, since you asked so nicely, I guess I… well, right now we—my team and I—we're building a new hand. I'm trying to get the wrist joint to be more, you know… wrist-like. I spend most of my mornings with the junior engineers and then in the afternoons, if I'm not stuck in meetings, I get to focus on my own work."

"What do you do with the junior engineers?"

Arthur shrugged. "Answer their questions. Make sure they don't veer wildly off course. Help them figure out what they want to do and how to do it."

"And you swore off academia why, exactly?" Geraint teased.

Arthur shook his head. "I just always had it in my head that I didn't want to teach. It's taken me a while to realise that's basically what I do with half my job, anyway."

"Remember Professor Sigan?"

Arthur groaned. "I wish I didn't."

"That would be more pleasant," Geraint admitted. "But I remember very vividly all the reasons I hated him and his classes and his lab. I always knew exactly what I wanted to do, and then I got caught up in his department. I can't even tell you how many times I nearly quit because of him. My wife regularly had to remind me that I still wanted to be in his shoes someday."

"He was a real piece of work."

"He was. I learned everything I know about how to not teach from him. It took me a while to gain that clarity, though. Maybe he poisoned you as well."

"Probably," Arthur admitted. "Academia hadn't been my goal, but I think I had more vitriol about it after working with him."

"Understandable." Geraint glanced away for a moment, staring at his bookshelves, before adding, "Plus you had Camelot and your father. I doubt teaching was ever in his plans for you."

"No," Arthur sighed. "It certainly wasn't."

"Fuck him, though. Right?" Geraint asked with a wide grin.

Arthur snorted. "Eloquently put."

"Come on." Geraint pushed himself out of his arm chair. "I'll take you on a tour of the labs."

~

By the weekend, Arthur was exhausted and exhilarated and entirely convinced he could do what Geraint was doing. He'd got to sit in on all of Geraint's classes and speak with a lot of the students about their work and their experience at McGill. He'd got to meet the graduate students and shadow their lab work—he'd even assisted a few of them, much to Geraint's amusement.

Everything going on was so exciting. Arthur knew that part of that was just because it was new and different from what he was working on back at Camelot, but that was actually the point. Geraint got to do at least one new thing every single semester. His routine was never the same for longer than a few months. And he got to have a hand in so many different things.

Arthur was heavily involved in the work of his junior engineers, but ultimately it was all related back to the project he was spearheading. They were working for him, and they were all always hyper-focused on damn wrist joints.

Geraint had his own research, and students assisting with it, but he got to be involved in other projects outside of that. The doctoral students he advised all had completely different areas of focus, and he got to guide those projects, too. He got to collaborate with other professors for more comprehensive studies. He got to do actual clinical trials on a regular basis. He wasn't just confined to one single project or area of research, like Arthur always was based on the restrictions of Camelot's funding or business goals.

And he still got to help others in a way that made him happy. He got to help his students. He got to help the patients of the clinical trials. And he got to help whoever would benefit from his research on ankle joints.

Arthur hadn't felt so inspired since well before everything at Camelot started going to shit.

He found that he was actually looking forward to getting back in his office the next week. He wanted to share some of Geraint's research and see if his junior staff could apply those methods to their own work. He wanted to find out what progress Ewan had been able to make on designing a new material for prosthetic wrist bones. He wanted to prove to Annis that being committed to the junior engineers' work was important and valuable.

He wanted to reach out to the universities in London and see what the potential was for possibly upheaving his entire career and shifting back into academic work.

Before he could do any of that, though, Arthur had to finish out his trip. He only had one more weekday left in Montréal, and his only plan was to meet Geraint for one last lunch. Until then, he had the whole weekend to take advantage of how energised he was from his week at McGill and explore more of the city.

On Saturday morning, Arthur was sitting at the small table in his hotel room with his tablet, scrolling through websites and trying to decide how to spend his day. There were some natural science museums that looked interesting, and he still hadn't been able to explore much of the enormous park behind McGill's campus. He also wanted to go back to the observatory to see the city at night.

His mobile buzzed, the sound mostly muffled by the sheets since Arthur had left it on his bed. He ignored it for a few minutes, drafting a few itineraries in his head as he finished off his breakfast—he'd brought up some food from the continental breakfast downstairs—and finally went to get it only when he was done his coffee.

It was a text from Merlin, who Arthur had only seen once since they'd accidentally stayed the night together in Merlin's room. They'd happened to be in the breakfast room at the same time Thursday morning, but all Merlin had had time for was to say hello and recommend the cheese danishes before he had rushed off to Avalon.

Arthur had been trying hard all week not to dwell too much on Merlin, and, for once, he'd actually been mostly successful—there had been so much to occupy him at McGill.

**Hey! My friends and I are meeting up for a picnic brunch in a bit. Come along? I'd love you to meet them. I think they have a whole day planned**

Arthur sat down on the edge of the bed.

He couldn't deny that he had enjoyed the stress-free time away from Merlin.

He also couldn't deny that, despite that relief, he missed Merlin.

The fact that he _missed Merlin_ —Merlin, who was nothing more than a friend and also his flatmate's fuck buddy—probably meant that he should turn down the invitation. Because missing someone who was only a few floors away, who he'd watched _Armageddon_ with several days before, who he had basically cuddled with for a full seven hour flight less than a week before—missing that person wasn't reasonable.

Not that anything about Merlin had ever really been reasonable.

_Are you sure I wouldn't be intruding?_

**Stop being so unbearably polite and come out with me and my friends**

_If you insist_

**I do. Loudly. Can you hear me shouting from down there?**

_No. Do it louder_

**How about you come up so I don't lose my voice? I'm just packing up some food and then we can head out**

_Be up in a bit_

Arthur took his time getting ready and only just remembered to grab a bag of crisps from the kitchen before going up to Merlin's room.

"You should have told me sooner," Arthur said when he saw the amount of food Merlin had prepared. Based on the state of his kitchen, it looked like he'd been up for several hours already. "This was all I had, but—"

Merlin waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine. You really didn't have to bring anything. I just like cooking. It's kind of a nice stress reliever, you know?"

"No." Arthur set his crisps down on top of a large canvas tote bag that Merlin had filled with various containers. "Stressful week?"

Merlin shrugged and surveyed his picnic supplies for a moment. "We're definitely going to have too much food."

Arthur chuckled. "Have you been cooking all morning?"

"A bit. Some last night, too. Okay." Merlin took one last look around the kitchen. "Okay, I guess that's everything. Ready?"

Arthur nodded and slipped the tote bag over his shoulders. "Ready."

"Oh, you don't—"

"I got it," Arthur said, swatting Merlin's hands away. "Really."

Merlin smiled. "All right. Well… let's go, then."

Arthur followed Merlin outside where they caught a bus around the corner from the hotel. The bus wasn't very crowded, but there still weren't many seats open. Merlin grabbed one toward the very back, leaving Arthur to take one near the middle doors.

After a few minutes, Merlin signalled the bus to stop. They got off and crossed the street, only to get onto another bus a minute later.

"Where are we going, exactly?" Arthur asked. The second bus was already full, so he and Merlin were standing together in the front aisle, their hands gripping the metal bars above their heads so they wouldn't fall over with the bus's erratic movements through traffic.

"There's a lake in the park," Merlin said, craning his neck to look out the window. "I used to go there, like, _every_ weekend with my friends. Or by myself. It's a really nice park."

Arthur smiled and adjusted the bag on his shoulder. "Sounds lovely. Do you miss living here?"

"Sometimes," Merlin admitted. "Our stop's up next."

As they made their way off the bus and into the park, Merlin insisted on taking the bag.

"How was your week?" Arthur asked, finally handing it over after Merlin gave him a particularly harsh glare.

"Long," Merlin said, hoisting it over his shoulder, "but productive. It was nice to see everyone again. How was yours?"

"Really good. Geraint—my old mate—his work is really amazing. It's been kind of… eye-opening, I guess."

"Yeah? Still thinking about maybe switching over to working at a university?"

Arthur nodded. "Just don't tell anyone."

"Who would I tell?"

"Gwen. And then she would tell my sister."

Merlin chuckled. "Right. Well, I promise I won't tell."

When they reached the lake, they wandered around for a bit until Merlin found an acceptable spot.

"Someone's bringing blankets," Merlin said, sitting on the grass and pulling out his mobile.

"Mind if I take a closer look at the lake?" Arthur asked as Merlin started texting.

Merlin shook his head, so Arthur headed off. There was a winding trail around the lake's perimeter, and there were people walking, jogging, running, and pushing prams all along it. The lake itself looked still and calm, and it reflected the surrounding trees beautifully. On the far side, he could see a few people rowing along in small boats.

It was still early in the day, but as Arthur stood near the lake, more and more people started staking claims on nearby grass. When he went back to where he'd left Merlin, there were three other people there, spreading out blankets and setting out some of the food.

"Hey," Merlin said, grinning as Arthur approached the group. "This is Mordred and Kara, and that's Drea. This is Arthur."

Arthur shook their hands and helped organise the food, making small talk about what parts of Montréal he'd been able to explore so far.

Merlin's friends were cheerful and welcoming and eager to get to know Arthur, but, as more of them started showing up—all with their own contributions to the picnic—the more Arthur became acutely aware that he was the only cisgender person in the group.

He didn't mind per se, but he sort of felt like he was intruding, especially when he saw how _happy_ Merlin was in this setting.

Merlin had mentioned as much, back when Arthur had gone over to Merlin's flat after his panic attack. He'd said that most of his Canadian friends had been trans and that he missed having that community.

And Arthur could see why. It was hard not to notice, not to think about the fact that he was _the only one_. Arthur couldn't imagine what it would be like if Merlin was this aware every time he was _the only one_ in a group of cis people. It would be exhausting.

Not that Merlin actually seemed to mind. He lived with a cis person, was sleeping with a cis person, made friends with cis people—but, still, Arthur imagined it must be nice to get a reprieve and just be with people who were the same as him.

"I'm going for a walk," Arthur said to no one in particular, getting to his feet. "Need to digest."

"Can I come?"

Arthur glanced around to see Mordred standing as well.

"My legs are falling asleep," he said, smiling.

Arthur nodded and waited for Mordred to pick his way across all the food and people spread out over the blankets, and then they headed toward the lake.

"Ready to go back home?" Mordred asked after they'd walked along the lake trail for a few minutes.

"Not really," Arthur said. "I like it here."

"Yeah? Me, too. It's a shame Merlin left, I miss having him around."

Arthur glanced over at Mordred. He seemed very young, younger than most of Merlin's other friends, although that might have just been because he was clean-shaven and full of youthful enthusiasm. He seemed keen for anything and everything, even a leisurely stroll around the lake.

"I think he misses it, too," Arthur said. "At least his friends."

"Well, I can't blame him there. We're all pretty great. Me, especially."

Arthur laughed. "I'll take your word for it."

"As you should. How long have you known Merlin?"

"Not that long," Arthur admitted. "Just a few weeks. Like… maybe five."

Mordred looked skeptical. "Five weeks and you're already taking vacations together?"

"It was more of a coincidence," Arthur muttered.

"But you're… into him, right?" Mordred pressed. "You 'fancy' him, as you would say?"

Arthur could feel himself going red and he turned toward the lake, pretending to admire the view. "No, I—he's… we're just—it was just a coincidence. We're friends. We didn't plan this trip together on purpose."

"Right," Mordred said, sounding amused. Arthur looked over to see him laughing. "Sorry I asked."

"He's fucking my flatmate," Arthur blurted out. "So…"

"Ah." Mordred nodded. "Well, your secret's safe with me."

"I don't—whatever."

Mordred laughed again and pulled out his mobile to check the time. "Should we keep going or do you want to head back?"

Arthur shrugged and followed Mordred as he turned around to go back to the picnic.

"Are you with us for the rest of the day?"

"I don't know," Arthur said. "I only found out about the picnic this morning. I'm not sure what else you have planned, but I don't need to keep crashing."

"You should," Mordred said with a grin. "We have more friends coming in a bit with a two-four. At some point we're dragging Merlin to Tim Hortons because he said he hasn't been yet this week, and that's unacceptable."

"What's a two-four?"

"Huge case of beer. They might bring two, but if they don't then we're definitely finding a good bar after Timmies. After that we're just going to find some beaver tails and then go back to mine and Kara's for a little _rendezvous_."

Arthur wasn't entirely sure Mordred had used that word correctly. "Do you speak French?"

Mordred laughed. "Badly. Kara does, but she grew up here."

"Where'd you grow up?"

"Pittsburgh, in the States. I came up here for college and…" Mordred shrugged. "And I'm still here."

"And a beaver tail is…"

"Fried dough dessert. They're more called 'queues de castor' around here, but, like I said, I speak very bad French. Don't worry, you'll love them even if you can't pronounce them."

"I wasn't worried," Arthur teased.

"Good. You definitely shouldn't be worried. We'll take you on a culinary tour of Montréal. First Tim Hortons, then beaver tails. That's all you need, really. I assume you've had poutine at some point this week?"

"Couple of times, yeah."

"Good. Oh, look." Mordred pointed toward their picnic. "The beer's here."

Arthur spent the rest of the afternoon lounging on one of the blankets, drinking beer, picking at a bean salad, and trying not to gorge himself on the brownies someone had brought.

At some point, Elena, one of the women who had brought the two-fours, plopped herself down next to him and started comparing travel stories. Some other of Merlin's friends came in and out of the conversation, but mostly it was just Elena, who turned out to be both hilarious and well-travelled.

She was in the middle of telling Arthur about some mishap from a safari she'd been on in South Africa when people started packing up the picnic.

"The ostrich knew _exactly_ what it was doing," Elena said, getting to her feet and then reaching down to pull Arthur up. "Every time we looked away, he just bolted forward. And as soon as we looked back at him, he'd stand perfectly still. I would _not_ want to be the ostrich's natural prey."

"Seems like you almost were," Arthur said as he moved an empty container onto the grass and pulled up the blanket he'd been on.

"He was certainly trying. Here." Elena grabbed the bottom of the blanket and folded it toward Arthur, who shifted his grip until he was holding the top corners.

As they folded up the blanket, Arthur registered how tall Elena was. They were on a slight incline, and she was standing higher up than him, but only by a centimetre or two.

Arthur tucked the blanket under his arm, realising that Merlin would have been an unusually tall woman. Then he wondered if that was an okay thought to have. And then he busied himself with stacking up empty food containers, trying not to think too hard on it.

When everyone had all their things sorted, the group headed out of the park.

The evening went more or less as Mordred had laid out. They all headed to a Tim Hortons, and Arthur was able to sober up on coffee and some chilli that Elena shared with him. It was a short-lived sobriety, though, because immediately afterwards they all went to a club and started doing shots.

It was a little early for the club to be in full swing, but that didn't stop Merlin and his friends from getting the party started on the dance floor. As Arthur watched from the bar, he had the distinct impression that this was something they were used to doing.

"Come on," Mordred shouted at him over the music. "Come dance. We won't be here long."

Arthur didn't really believe that—he'd seen a lot of well-planned nights go completely awry once alcohol became a factor—but let Mordred drag him out, anyway.

Mordred immediately abandoned Arthur to dance with his girlfriend, which left Arthur awkwardly swaying to the thumping baseline alone.

"Hey!" Elena shouted, tugging him over to where she was dancing so energetically that everyone else had given her a wide berth. "Are you having a good time?"

Arthur nodded, laughing, and started jumping up and down with her. She wasn't exactly moving in time to the music, but she obviously didn't care.

"You're very cute," she said, moving close enough for him to hear her, which also meant close enough for her to step on his toes. "Too bad I'm gay!"

"I'm gay, too!" Arthur said loudly. He tried to back up to a safe distance and ended up walking into Merlin.

"We should ask them to play Kate Bush," Merlin said, leaning close to speak into Arthur's ear.

Arthur exhaled shakily as Merlin's hot breath on his skin sent goosebumps down his neck.

"Do you think they take requests?"

"We're practically the only people here," Merlin pointed out.

When Arthur didn't respond to that, Merlin stepped even closer and put a hand on Arthur's waist.

"Thanks for coming," he said, his mouth still all but pressed to Arthur's ear. "My friends really like you."

"I like you—them. I like them, too." Arthur flushed, feeling hot all over—especially where Merlin's hand was still holding onto his side.

Merlin grinned. "Dance with me?"

Arthur found himself nodding.

Merlin shifted away at first, keeping a respectable distance between them as he did his thing. He looked happy and unconcerned and completely at home on the dance floor. It was so the opposite of Arthur, who enjoyed dancing but always felt too awkward and self-conscious to really get into it. He was usually too concerned with how he looked—was he moving his hips too much, what was he supposed to be doing with his arms, what kind of facial expression should he be making—to lower his inhibitions.

Merlin seemed unconcerned with all of that, though. He looked incredibly happy, and he moved well, and Arthur wanted to be a part of that.

Arthur didn't protest when Merlin moved closer. He tried to sync his movements to Merlin's, shifting left and right and forward when Merlin did. Pretty soon they were pressed together, Merlin's stomach and thighs against his own, and Arthur let his hands slide to Merlin's back.

Merlin dipped a little as the song changed, pulling Arthur's crotch against his as they started moving faster together.

Fuck, Arthur thought, his mind dizzy and fuzzy and useless. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, stop it, FUCK._

Arthur must have stopped moving in his panic, because Merlin yanked him closer again, their chests pressing together and Merlin's cheek resting against his own.

"Merlin," Arthur managed. He meant it as a warning, as a plea, but, even to his own ears, it sounded more like desperate longing.

Merlin pressed his face to Arthur's neck and breathed in hard, his fingers digging into Arthur's sides.

Then he turned and walked away.

Arthur froze, his heart pounding, and watched Merlin disappear into the loos.

"Fuck," he breathed, closing his eyes. He'd completely given himself away. Merlin had just been having a good time and trying to have that good time with Arthur. And Arthur had gotten caught up in it and ruined it. Ruined the rest of their trip, probably. Ruined the friendship they'd managed to build. Ruined any chance he'd ever had of potentially getting together with Merlin after the thing with Gwaine ended. Just… ruined.

Taking a deep breath, Arthur looked around to see who had witnessed his utter stupidity.

Everyone was immersed in their own dancing.

Everyone except Mordred, who was staring at Arthur from near the bar.

Arthur hurried over and accepted the shot Mordred offered him without question.

"We're leaving soon, right?"

"Yeah," Mordred said. "Are you coming back to mine? We'll probably just watch a movie."

"I don't want to," Arthur said, staring down at his empty shot glass. "But I have absolutely no idea where I am."

Mordred chuckled and patted Arthur on the shoulder. "You'll be all right. You're just drunk."

Arthur shrugged and turned around in time to see Merlin reappearing.

"I'll round up the troops," Mordred said. He gave Arthur another pat on the shoulder before heading back onto the dance floor.

Arthur turned back around and rested his elbows on the bar. Maybe he should figure out a way to get a cab back to the hotel. He could probably look up a number on his mobile. Maybe there was an app for it. Maybe he could just walk back to the hotel. Maybe he'd get lucky and accidentally walk into a sinkhole.

"Hey."

Arthur glanced up. Merlin was standing next to him at the bar.

"Hey," Merlin said again. He was _smiling_. "All right?"

Arthur forced himself to nod. "All right."

"Cool. We're going to Mordred and Kara's. Come along? They have a spare room, so we can probably crash there."

Arthur nodded again, speechless. Apparently Merlin was just going to pretend nothing had happened.

"Come on." Merlin nodded toward the door and Arthur followed him to find most of the group outside already.

Kara pushed her way past a few of Merlin's drunker friends and linked her arm with Arthur's. "Do you like _Titanic_?"

"What?"

" _Titanic_."

"What about it?"

"Do you like it?"

"The film?" Arthur asked.

Kara laughed. "I like your accent. We're going to watch _Titanic_. Do you like it?"

"I guess," Arthur said as the group started making their way down the street. "I haven't seen it in about 30 years."

Kara laughed again. "You're not that old."

"The film's not that old," Arthur corrected. "Why are we watching _Titanic_ , exactly?"

"It's Merlin's favourite."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"It's true," Kara said. "Ask him yourself. Here, I'll do it for you. Merlin!"

Merlin turned around from where he was walking several paces ahead of them.

"Tell Arthur that _Titanic_ is your favourite movie."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because it's the truth."

Merlin grinned and turned back around.

"See?" Kara said proudly. "His favourite. Oh!"

Kara let go of his arm and dashed forward to link up with another of Merlin's friends.

Arthur walked the rest of the way by himself, enjoying the night breeze and trying to convince himself that everything was fine. Merlin didn't seem to care that Arthur had taken their dancing a bit too seriously. Maybe, by some miracle, Merlin hadn't even noticed and had genuinely just needed to use the loo right then.

Arthur knew that was unlikely, but it was the most hopeful thought he had, so he clung to it until they reached Mordred and Kara's house and he got distracted by the chaos of what felt like 40 people trying to filter in through a single doorway.

Mordred led the group into the living room where everyone immediately scrambled to find a seat. Arthur managed to get a corner of a sofa. Elena was squeezed next to him, with Kara and Mordred on her other side.

Kara started up the film and Arthur settled back into the cushions, thinking he might just close his eyes and take a quick power nap so he could wake up and enjoy the sinking scenes later.

It was only the third class dancing scene when he came to again. He yawned and stretched a little, stiff from being crowded on the sofa with too many other people.

"Do you know where the toilet is?" he asked Elena.

She gestured vaguely down a hallway. "You won't get lost," she promised. "I left breadcrumbs."

Arthur had no idea what she could mean by that, but he got up and headed down the hallway, anyway.

What he found was an earring—presumably Elena's—lying on the floor just outside the bathroom door. She must have gotten up while he was asleep and dropped it for some reason. Or maybe it had been by accident, although he didn't know why she wouldn't have just picked it up.

Arthur put the earring in his pocket and stepped into the bathroom to relieve himself. He splashed some cold water on his face when he was done and took a long look at himself in the mirror.

He looked like a mess.

When he came back out to the living room, Merlin had disappeared from his coveted spot on a plush armchair.

"Where's the birthday boy?" he asked as he squeezed back in next to Elena.

Elena snorted. "Do you mean Merlin?"

"I don't know," Arthur groaned. "I'm so tired."

"Movie's almost done, and then we can all go to bed."

Arthur blinked at the telly a few times. "I think there's, like, five hours left."

"Maybe two," Elena admitted. "Or one and a half?"

Arthur groaned and slumped lower in his seat, weighing his options. He could just go back to sleep on the sofa and hope Kara and Mordred would let him spend the night somewhere in their home after the film was over and everyone else left. He could try to figure out how to get back to the hotel on his own, maybe on a bus if they ran this late in Montréal, or maybe in a cab. He could probably ask Elena to help him figure out how to get one. Or he could try to get Merlin to lead the way. Not that Merlin would have a good reason to go back to the hotel if he was already planning to spend the night here.

"Where's Merlin?" he tried again.

"Doorbell rang," Elena said happily. "Surprise visitor."

Arthur glanced around at the rest of Merlin's friends and noticed most of them whispering to each other and grinning conspiratorially.

"Who—"

Arthur's question was answered before he could finish asking it when Merlin came back into the living room with the surprise visitor. The newcomer was handsome and black, and he had the same bright eyes and wide smile as Gwen.

There was a commotion as everyone stood to greet Elyan. Arthur glanced over at Mordred, who gave him a guilty sort of shrug, and then pulled out his mobile. There was no way he was staying any longer than it took to get a cab. Merlin looked surprised but pleased, and Arthur didn't want to bear witness to their reunion.

"This is Arthur, Merlin's friend from home," Elena said as she sat back down next to him.

"From England?" Elyan clarified, stepping closer to shake Arthur's hand. Arthur nodded, and Elyan grinned. "Cheers, mate."

Arthur forced a smile and waited until Elyan was settled—squished together with Merlin in the plush armchair—before elbowing Elena in the side and passing her his mobile.

"Can you help me get a cab?"

"You aren't staying?" she asked, pouting adorably.

"I need sleep. Like, two hours ago."

"I'm sure Kara—"

"I just want to get back to the hotel. Please."

"All right," Elena agreed reluctantly. She gave Arthur back his mobile and took hers out instead, quickly opening an app and typing in Mordred and Kara's address. "What's your hotel?"

It had a long French name that Arthur was too tired to remember, so he ended up searching through his emails until he found his reservation confirmation.

"Okay, they'll be here in five," Elena said when she'd finished setting up his ride.

"That's fast," Arthur said, relieved but a little sad to be leaving the rest of the group.

"Are you coming out to brunch tomorrow?"

"I… don't know. I don't know anything about it."

"Do you have a notes app on your phone?"

Arthur gave her his mobile again and watched as she opened up a new note for him and typed out the name and address of the restaurant and the time they were planning to meet.

"You should come," she said, handing it back. "We're going to Merlin's favourite place."

"I'll be there." Arthur pushed himself up and navigated his way through the people who were watching the film from the floor.

"Um," he said when he reached the doorway to the hall that would take him back to the front of the house. "I'm going home. Er, to the hotel."

"Already?" Merlin asked.

Arthur glanced over and saw Merlin's arm wrapped around Elyan's back and one of Elyan's legs draped over Merlin's.

"Yeah, I can't stay awake any longer."

"We're doing brunch tomorrow," Mordred said. "You should come."

Arthur nodded. "Yeah, Elena gave me the details. I'll see you all in the morning."

There was a chorus of farewells, and Arthur gave a wave before turning and heading toward the front door.

The cab pulled up quickly, and within 20 minutes Arthur was crawling into his bed, still half-dressed but already passing out.

~~~

Elyan shifted a little, and Merlin moved closer, using Elyan's arm as a pillow. The film was almost over, which was good because Merlin wasn't sure how much longer he could stand to be crowded in this armchair with another person.

At least Elyan smelled good. Like, _really_ good.

Merlin probably smelled like grass and sweat and booze.

"Hey," Elyan whispered. "Are you sleeping here?"

"Maybe. I should probably get back to the hotel so I don't have to wear this same outfit to brunch tomorrow and stink the place up."

"Yeah? You look good, though."

Merlin smiled. "Thanks." He glanced up and waited for Elyan to look over at him. "You, too."

Elyan's lips quirked and he dropped his hand from where it had been resting on his own leg down to Merlin's thigh.

Merlin forced his attention back to the film. Rose was on the door and Jack was dying, so there wasn't too much left. Then everyone would start heading home and Merlin would have to make a decision about where he was sleeping.

If he stayed at Mordred and Kara's, he could be asleep as soon as the film ended.

If he went back to the hotel, he would have access to a private shower and clean clothes. And he could fuck Elyan without feeling guilty about doing it in his friends' spare bed.

Not that he was planning to fuck Elyan. He wasn't planning not to, either.

Mostly, he didn't know what he wanted. He didn't know where he wanted to sleep, and he didn't know if he wanted to fuck Elyan, and he didn't want to make the decision.

"A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets," Elyan recited along with the film.

"He saved me," Merlin joined in a few seconds later. "In every way that a person can be saved."

"Get a _room_ ," Kara shouted at them.

Merlin stuck his tongue out at her. Elyan just chuckled and, once their friends had turned back to the telly, gave Merlin's thigh a squeeze.

"There's a bar next to my hotel," Merlin said in a low voice. "Or, I have wine in my room, and we can go up to the roof deck."

Elyan nodded.

Merlin half-heartedly watched the end of the film and then stood as soon as it was over, his back sore from how he'd twisted it to fit Elyan next to him.

"Brunch tomorrow?" he asked the room as he stretched.

There was general murmur of assent.

"Want to head out?" Merlin asked Elyan.

Elyan looked around and Merlin followed his gaze to see Mordred watching them.

"Yeah," Elyan said. "I'll meet you at the door." He gave Merlin a small smile and then headed for the bathroom.

Merlin sat back down to slip on his shoes, since he'd kicked them off at the beginning of the film.

"Not staying?" Kara asked from where she was spread out on the sofa.

"Nah, I need to be able to wear something less sweaty to brunch tomorrow."

Mordred gave a snort of disbelief.

"Shut it," Merlin warned as sternly as he could manage.

"You're cute when you're angry," Kara said.

Merlin shook his head, biting down a grin, and made his way to the front door. He hugged some of his friends as they headed home, and, by the time Elyan came out, he was the only one left.

"Mordred's still a nosy bugger," Elyan said, following Merlin to the bus stop.

"How is that surprising?"

"Sadly, it's not."

Merlin laughed and glanced down the street. "Fuck, yes! Perfect timing," he said as the bus rounded the corner a few streets down.

"So," Merlin said once they were settled in some seats toward the back of the bus. "What made you change your mind?"

"About what?" Elyan asked, watching out the window.

"Coming to see me."

"I didn't come to see you. I came to see a concert. Why do you think I showed up so late? You're just a bonus."

Merlin smiled and reached out to play with the straps of the backpack in Elyan's lap.

They rode the rest of the way of silence, Elyan watching the city go by and Merlin trying to take stock.

Merlin was pretty sure he was almost entirely sober. It had been at least three hours since his last shot at the bar and even longer since his beers in the park. He felt clear-headed, though a bit tired.

If he made the wrong decision, he wouldn't have anyone or anything to blame but himself.

"When's your stop?" Elyan asked after a while, gently pulling Merlin's hand away from his bag and holding it instead.

Merlin stuck his face to the window and tried to identify where they were.

"Two streets back," he said, laughing.

Elyan signalled their stop, and they rushed off and backtracked to the hotel.

"Bar?" Merlin asked when they reached the front doors. "Or wine on the roof?"

"No contest, mate."

Merlin grinned. "Right." He led Elyan into the hotel and up to his room.

"Wow," Elyan said, dropping his bag in the kitchenette. "Avalon set you up."

"Right? This is bigger than our first flat."

Elyan groaned. "God, that place was a nightmare."

Merlin opened the fridge and pulled out two bottles of wine. "White or red?"

"Why do you even have so much wine?"

"The white I bought for myself but kept forgetting to drink. The red was a gift from Gaius for some reason."

Elyan smirked and then yawned. "Honestly, I'm fine with whatever."

"Are you… we don't have to, if you don't want. It's late."

"It's _very_ late," Elyan agreed.

Merlin stared down at the bottles in his hand, knowing it was time to make the call.

"Merlin," Elyan said softly, and Merlin glanced up. "We don't have to do anything. I'm happy to just chat. We can go on the roof deck and wait for the sun to come up."

"I know," Merlin said, tightening his grip on the wine. "I… I kept telling myself it would be better if you didn't come, so that I wouldn't be in this position. But… really the issue is that I _really_ want to, even though I think… I think it'll be _really_ hard to say goodbye in the morning."

"It'd be hard either way," Elyan said reasonably. He took the bottle of white from Merlin's hand. "Can I open this up?"

Merlin nodded and put the red back in the fridge. When he turned back around, Elyan was right there, kissing him.

Merlin gasped and tugged Elyan closer, deepening the kiss and leaning against the fridge.

"This okay?" Elyan asked, his question muffled against Merlin's lips.

"Very okay." Merlin cupped Elyan's face and kissed him slowly.

He'd forgotten how nice it was to kiss Elyan.

He'd forgotten how nice it was to kiss anyone.

Elyan slid his tongue against Merlin's, and Merlin melted a little, slumping against the fridge.

"Fuck, I've missed you," he said quietly when Elyan pulled back.

Elyan grinned and gave Merlin's neck a long lick that made Merlin's whole body light up.

"Missed you, too. Missed your lips." Elyan tugged on Merlin's earlobe with his teeth and Merlin let out a shaky breath. "And the way you do that."

Merlin grinned and wrapped his arms around Elyan's waist. "What else do you want to make me do?"

"Stay."

Merlin pouted and Elyan kissed his lower lip.

"Kidding," Elyan said, even though it was clear he wasn't. "I know you're happier in London. Same as me in Toronto."

"Let's not talk about it," Merlin suggested.

"Let's pretend those aren't even real places."

Merlin chuckled and gave Elyan and peck. "Okay."

"Okay." Elyan traced Merlin's lips with a fingertip and then asked, "So, are you going to take me on a tour or what?"

"If you ask nicely."

Elyan leaned back a little to grab the wine off the counter.

"Can you please take me on a tour?" he asked. "I'll let you drink all your wine."

Merlin rolled his eyes and grabbed the wine, pushing Elyan away. He took a few long sips straight out of the bottle as he led the way to the bedroom.

"Seriously," Elyan said, standing in front of the window and taking in the view. "Avalon outdid themselves. Are they trying to impress you?"

"Maybe. Want some?" he asked, holding out the wine.

Elyan shook his head, sat down on the edge of the bed, and tugged Merlin in by his belt loops.

"Dating anyone?" he asked as he undid Merlin's flies.

"No. Not—no. Just sleeping with a guy. You?"

Elyan shook his head and, pushing up Merlin's shirt, leaned in to give his stomach a few kisses.

Merlin ran his hands over Elyan's hair, scraping his fingernails across the back of Elyan's neck and making Elyan groan against his navel.

"Budge up," Merlin said as he stepped out of his jeans.

Elyan scooted back on the bed, and Merlin crawled on top of him and pulled off his shirt.

"Ah," Elyan gasped when Merlin pinched one of his nipples.

"What's this?" Merlin asked, brushing his fingers across his other nipple, which was sporting a barbell right through the middle of it.

"Don't touch," he said, gently pushing Merlin's hand away. "It's still healing. Do you like it?"

"Very much." Merlin eyed it for a moment and then ducked down to suck on his other nipple.

Merlin kissed his way down Elyan's front, making sure to lick across all of his ticklish spots, until he reached Elyan's jeans.

"What do you want to do?" Merlin asked, sitting up and unbuttoning his flies.

Elyan considered him for a moment before grabbing his side and rolling them over so he was on his back and Elyan was hovering over him.

"Oh," Merlin sighed when Elyan straddled one of his thighs and started rocking on top of it.

Elyan murmured in agreement, digging his knees into the bed to get lower.

Merlin bit down a groan, lifting his leg a little in time with Elyan's grinding. He loved when Elyan rode him like this. There was something so primal about it, so needy and selfish.

Elyan lifted off for a moment to get out of his jeans, but then he climbed right back on and continued humping Merlin's thigh.

Merlin reached up and tweaked Elyan's unpierced nipple, and Elyan huffed and leaned down to nip at Merlin's shoulder.

"Come on," Merlin said, gripping Elyan's hip. "Get naked."

Elyan sucked a nice bruise into one of Merlin's pecs before getting up. He pushed his briefs to the floor and walked around to the foot of the bed.

Merlin propped himself up on his elbows. "What?" he asked when Elyan just stared at him.

Elyan grabbed Merlin's ankles and tugged him until his legs were hanging off the edge of the bed.

"Could have just asked," Merlin teased.

Elyan smirked and yanked off Merlin's briefs. Merlin wiggled out of his shirt and tossed it at Elyan's face.

"So rude," Elyan said, getting to his knees and pushing Merlin's legs open. "You'd better make that up to me."

"Why don't you make me?"

Elyan pressed a kiss to Merlin's inner thigh. "Maybe I will."

"I doubt— _ah_ ," Merlin gasped as Elyan licked up from his front to his dick. "Oh, fuck." He shifted closer to the edge and spread his legs more, giving Elyan better access. "Yeah, like—" Merlin's breath caught in his throat as Elyan pushed two fingers into his front.

"Mmm," Elyan moaned as he sucked Merlin's dick into his mouth.

Merlin sighed and draped an arm over his eyes. He'd missed this so much—Elyan between his legs, doing everything exactly as he liked it, the moment just easy and familiar.

Elyan pulled out his fingers and reached up to pinch Merlin's nipple, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah," Merlin breathed, lifting his hips as if he could get his dick any closer to Elyan's mouth that way. Elyan sucked him harder for a moment, then switched to slowly licking and kissing around his dick, teasing him until he was a limp, moaning mess.

Merlin could have carried on like this all night. And he knew Elyan wouldn't mind that plan.

But it was late and getting later, and he wanted a turn, too.

"Come on," he said, wiggling his hips. "Please."

Elyan sat up and wiped off his mouth, giving Merlin a long look.

"What?" Merlin asked, unnerved.

"Just considering my options."

"What are your options?" Merlin asked warily.

Elyan shrugged innocently and stood. He lifted one knee onto the bed and leaned down for a wet, sloppy kiss.

"What are your options?" Merlin asked again, reaching down and giving Elyan's dick a tug.

"Well," Elyan said casually, bracing himself on the bed with one hand and moving his other hand to Merlin's cock. "This is one of them." He slid two fingers into Merlin's front and started building up a slow, rough rhythm.

"Come _on_ ," Merlin groaned, lifting his hips in time with Elyan's hand. "Are you going—" He cut himself off when Elyan adjust the angle and started pressing against his G-spot. "Yeah, there," he breathed. "Right—"

Elyan started fucking him faster, much faster, and all Merlin could do was hang his mouth open and try to breathe.

"You were saying?" Elyan asked.

Merlin whimpered a little, his mind nearly blank from the pleasure of Elyan pounding into him.

"That's what I thought."

Elyan didn't let up, his speed relentless and the pressure on that spot inside Merlin overwhelming.

"El," Merlin managed when his arms and legs started trembling. "El, don't stop."

Elyan hummed in agreement and dropped down to his elbow to give Merlin a kiss.

"Fuck," Merlin moaned. He gripped Elyan's arm tightly, trying to anchor some part of himself. "Fuck, I'm—oh, _God, shit, ah_ —"

Elyan pressed his cheek to Merlin's, and Merlin arched off the bed, groaning uselessly as his entire body throbbed. He was dimly aware of the sounds he was making—he might have been attempting to make words—but mostly he was just aware of the pulsing in his cunt as Elyan continued fucking into him. His muscles were clamping hard around Elyan's fingers, and it was _so good_ , and he felt completely wrecked.

"Mhm," Elyan murmured, sounding very satisfied with himself. He pushed himself back up onto his one hand and pulled the other out of Merlin's front, giving Merlin's dick a few cursory strokes and making him jerk.

"You've ruined me," Merlin muttered. He felt warm and weak, and he didn't think he'd be able to find the energy to even open his eyes. His dick was still twitching, he was pretty sure he was _still_ coming, and he couldn't imagine ever moving again.

"Did you survive?" Elyan asked after a while.

Merlin took and deep breath and forced himself to open his eyes. "No."

"Shame. RIP."

Merlin chuckled and managed to push himself up on his elbows. "Fuck, I've missed that."

"Yeah? Your London guy no good at it?"

"Hasn't really tried." Merlin trailed his hand up and down Elyan's arm a few times before pulling him in for a kiss. "What can I do for you?"

Elyan grinned and kissed the tip of Merlin's nose. He rolled onto his back briefly and then stood, looking down at Merlin and apparently considering his options again.

"Come here," he finally said, getting to his knees on the floor.

"You know there's a bed right here?" Merlin asked, sitting up.

Elyan rolled his eyes. "Really? Hadn't noticed. Come here."

Merlin smirked and slid down to the floor, facing Elyan. "Okay, what now?"

Distracting Merlin with a kiss, Elyan reached down and started rubbing Merlin's dick.

"Ah, shit." Merlin hissed, his nerves just this side of still too sensitive. "Don't." He shifted away a little. "Come on, it's my turn."

"Still my turn," Elyan said, scooting closer. "Please? Let me."

Merlin bit his lip and nodded. Elyan grinned and leaned down to suck on Merlin's neck as he continued stroking Merlin's cock.

"Having a good time?" Merlin asked, gripping Elyan's shoulders. His thighs were shaking, his muscles tight from the overstimulation, but he knew it wouldn't be very long before Elyan made him come again.

"Fuck yeah." Elyan flicked his tongue against Merlin's ear. "Aren't you?"

"I'm a little overwhelmed," Merlin said. His voice was starting to shake, too. "You're really—" Merlin's breath stuttered as he tipped closer to another orgasm. "Doing a lot," he managed. "Fuck, Elyan."

"Mhm. You ready?"

Merlin nodded before dropping his head back with a weak groan.

"Come here."

"What?"

"Lean forward. Put your hands on the dresser."

Merlin lifted his head up and blinked, trying to register Elyan's instructions.

"Here," Elyan said, rolling his eyes and reaching for one of Merlin's hands. He slapped it down on top of the low dresser behind him.

"Christ," Merlin muttered, bracing himself with both hands on the dresser, his arms pressed to Elyan's shoulders. The new position meant he was leaning forward a little, most of his weight on his knees, and his thighs were shaking even harder as they tried to keep him upright.

"Let me see," Elyan said, pressing a kiss to Merlin's jaw as he moved his fingers faster.

Merlin bit down a whimper, trying to control himself. He always came so fucking hard in this position, and Elyan knew that, and there really wasn't any hope.

It hit him all at once, and he buckled, one hand slapping against Elyan's back as he tried to balance himself when his orgasm rocked him forward. He didn't even care how loud he was being—he hoped everyone in the hotel could hear how good Elyan was making him feel.

Eventually Elyan's fingers slowed, and Merlin slumped down, his hands landing on either side of Elyan's hips and his head pressed to Elyan's chest.

Elyan stroked his hair as he caught his breath, and he couldn't imagine walking away from this— _again_ —in the morning.

"Are you done?" he asked when his heart rate had slowed down enough for him to breathe properly again. He sat up, leaning back against the bed.

"I guess," Elyan said, grinning.

Merlin rolled his eyes and gathered the last of his strength to move forward for a long kiss.

"Can I sit on your face?" Elyan asked, his hand drifting toward Merlin's dick again.

Merlin swatted his hand away. "Only if you stop trying to do that."

Elyan chuckled and nipped at Merlin's ear. "Deal."

~

Merlin woke up with the sun in his eyes because he'd forgotten to close the blinds before going to bed.

He rolled over and into Elyan, who grunted.

"Sorry," Merlin muttered, trying to orientate himself.

"S'fine," Elyan said through a yawn. "Go back to sleep."

Merlin murmured in agreement and slotted closer, pressing his face to Elyan's bare chest, and Elyan wrapped an arm around his back.

He wanted to go back to sleep. He wanted to drift off like this, warm and surrounded by Elyan, who somehow still smelled good even after a long night of sloppy sex. He wanted to put off dealing with the consequences of the past few hours.

But, now that he was awake, he couldn't seem to shut off his thoughts.

He'd slept with Elyan. They'd been split up for more than a year, and Merlin had known it wasn't a great idea, but he'd given into the urges, anyway.

And it had been _so_ good. Not just because Elyan was incredible in bed—he always had been, and years of learning Merlin's body had only served him well—but because he was Elyan. He was attentive and funny. He was soft and familiar. He was comfortable and comforting, and Merlin knew there was going to be trouble when it came time to part ways.

He missed Elyan a lot. He missed Elyan's laugh and the insensitive jokes and staying up late talking about absolutely nothing but just enjoying each other's company.

He missed having someone for lazy mornings like this. Someone to curl up with and refuse to get out of bed with and eventually make a very late breakfast with. Or someone to wake him up properly with a series of kisses down his neck and then lower until he was moaning and sweating all over the sheets and coming with his fingers gripping that someone's shoulders.

Gwaine was fun. He and Merlin had done the lazy breakfast thing and the slow morning sex thing, but it wasn't nearly the same. It wasn't really anything other than just fun.

Merlin wasn't sure he could go back to that now.

Not that he had an alternative to go back to. Especially since He had gone _way_ too far the night before, crawling all over Arthur and then running away.

There had always been a less-than-innocent sort of flirtation between them, but that didn't excuse what Merlin had done. He'd crossed a line, and he wasn't sure what their friendship could look like after that. After showing all his cards and having Arthur respond by practically begging him to stop.

He'd been stupid, and he'd ruined a perfectly good thing with Arthur, and then he'd gone and fucked Elyan instead.

"You're giving me a headache," Elyan murmured into Merlin's hair.

"Hm?"

"You're practically screaming your thoughts. It's very loud. Very annoying."

Merlin groaned and pressed his face harder into Elyan's chest. "Shut up."

"I am trying to get you to do exactly that."

"Fuck off."

Elyan chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of Merlin's head. "Someone's not having a good morning."

Taking a deep breath, Merlin rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"How long are you here for?"

"As long as you want me here."

"No, in Montréal. How long before you go home?"

There was a long pause, and then Elyan answered, quietly, "Not long. My flight's this afternoon."

Merlin's stomach clenched.

"Okay," he whispered.

Elyan reached out and traced Merlin's collarbones with his fingertips. Merlin allowed it for as long as he could stand, but eventually he had to sit up to get away from Elyan's soft touch.

"I need a shower," he said, flinging back the covers and getting to his feet.

It was a small miracle that Elyan didn't follow him into the bathroom for shower sex.

Merlin washed off slowly, letting the water truly wake him up and trying to reset himself for the day.

When he came back out into the living room, Elyan greeted him with a slow kiss.

"Are you done freaking out?"

Merlin tried to relax into Elyan's embrace.

"I guess."

"Good." Elyan gave him a peck and then went into the bathroom, giving Merlin some privacy to get dressed.

"Can I leave my bag here?" Elyan asked when they were putting on their shoes a while later.

"Sure. We can come back for it after brunch. I don't think there were other plans."

Elyan waited until Merlin was unlocking the door, and then squeezed Merlin's waist and kissed him on the cheek.

"We good?"

Merlin turned his head for a proper kiss. "We're good. Just not looking forward to you leaving."

"Me neither. But we have lots of time before then. Let's enjoy brunch, yeah?"

"Yeah," Merlin agreed.

He led the way outside where they caught a bus to their old neighbourhood, the Gay Village.

"Does your friend know how to get there?" Elyan asked halfway through the ride.

"Pretty sure everyone knows how to get there."

Elyan elbowed Merlin. "No, your friend from England. And, by the way, why did you bring a random friend with you on a business trip? What's his name, again?"

"Arthur," Merlin said, looking out the window. It was starting to rain. "He's also here on business, actually. Timing just worked out well for us to travel together."

"How do you know him?"

Merlin bit his lip. "I'm, uh… sleeping with one of his flatmates."

Elyan chuckled. "That's how you met and now you're taking international business trips together?"

Merlin felt himself going red. "I guess, yeah."

"Weird," Elyan teased. "What kind of business is he here for?"

"Engineering stuff," Merlin said shortly. "I'm not super clear on the details."

"Some friend you are."

Merlin shrugged and there was a lull in the conversation.

"He's well fit," Elyan finally said.

"Can we not?" Merlin asked, staring hard out the window. "Please?"

"Sorry," Elyan said quietly.

Merlin shook his head, watching as street after familiar street passed through his view.

"Hey," Elyan said after a few more minutes, putting a hand on Merlin's knee. "Stop's coming up."

Merlin signalled for the stop even though they were still a few streets away and stood, making his way to the middle doors. He jumped off when the bus jerked to a stop and started toward the restaurant, turning the collar of his jacket up against the drizzle.

"Hey," Elyan called after him.

When Merlin didn't respond, Elyan grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop walking.

"What's going on?" Elyan asked. "Why are you so… what's wrong?"

Merlin tried to pull his arm back, but Elyan's grip tightened.

"Talk to me," Elyan said.

Merlin huffed and wiped the rain off his face, his throat tight.

"What is it?" Elyan slid his hand down to hold Merlin's.

"I don't want to leave," Merlin whispered. "I don't want you to leave. This was a mistake."

Elyan smiled sadly. "No. It's difficult, but… you're also hungry and probably a little hungover and definitely sleep deprived. You'll feel better after you eat."

Merlin sighed and wiped off his face again. He knew Elyan was probably right. They hadn't got more than three or so hours of sleep, and his stomach was painfully empty. He just needed food, and then hopefully he would be able to think rationally again.

"You're okay." Elyan kissed him sweetly. "Come on."

Keeping his grip on Merlin's hand, Elyan led the rest of the way to the restaurant.

None of their friends seemed particularly surprised to see them arriving together.

Elyan immediately ordered Merlin a coffee and a croissant, which he ate while looking over the full menu. By the time he had finished it and drank some of the coffee, he was feeling remarkably more clear-headed.

He would miss his friends, but they had plenty of ways to stay in touch despite the distance.

He would miss Montréal, but London was and always had been and always would be his home. And the sooner he returned, the sooner he'd get to see Aithusa.

He would miss Elyan, but he and Elyan weren't meant to be together, anyway, and he had known that for a long time.

He would miss the comfort and ease and familiarity of being with Elyan, but he could find that in London if he kept looking. It would take a while to build something like that again, but it wasn't impossible. He just needed to stop wasting time with Gwaine.

"Where's Arthur?" Elena asked after they had all ordered. "I gave him the address. Do you think he got lost?"

Merlin shrugged and pulled out his mobile, more because he felt obligated than because he really wanted to.

"He hasn't texted."

Elena held out her hand and Merlin passed her his mobile, his stomach rolling a little at the thought of Arthur joining them. He watched as Elena added Arthur's number to her mobile and started texting him.

"You okay?" Mordred asked, pulling Merlin out of his thoughts.

"Yeah," Merlin said, hurrying to take another sip of coffee. "Just really tired."

"Did you kids not go straight to sleep when you got home?"

Merlin gulped down more coffee, and Mordred laughed.

"Arthur says he just woke up," Elena reported out. "He's getting breakfast at your hotel but I told him to text you later so he can meet back up with us."

"Thanks," Merlin said, not believing for one second that Arthur would text him.

"I forgot to ask you yesterday," Elena said, trying to reach for Merlin's coffee. He swatted her hand away. "Have you ever played that video game, um… _shit_ , now I can't remember what it's called. It's about this guy—"

" _Earthworm Jim,_ " Elyan suggested.

Elena rolled her eyes. "No. He had a daughter—"

"Oh, _Guitar Hero_."

"And there's this epidemic," Elena continued, ignoring Elyan. "He's quarantined—"

" _Sims 2_?"

"And I think he's like a smuggler or something. Or maybe—"

" _Barbie Horse Adventures_."

"Why is that even something you know about?" Elena demanded.

" _Hatoful Boyfriend_ ," Elyan said. "Definitely that one."

Elena turned back to Merlin, who was having a hard time breathing from how much he was trying to control his laughter.

"Anyway, there's this girl—"

" _Tetris_!"

Merlin snorted and covered his mouth with a hand. He was starting to tear up.

"You have no idea how much I haven't missed you," Elena deadpanned. "So, this girl thinks she's immune—"

" _Minecraft_. No, _Halo_. Sorry, I meant _Zelda_. No, _Mario_. _Pokémon Stadium_."

Elena's lips twitched and Elyan flung his arms up in victory.

"It's called _the Last of Us_ ," Merlin managed, wiping his eyes. "And yes, I've played it."

Whatever Elena had wanted to talk about regarding the video game was forgotten as everyone's food was brought out.

The rest of the meal was spent discussing other games people had played recently, which segued into what films and series everyone was watching, which left Merlin with a very long to-watch list by the time their plates were cleared off.

After they paid, the group walked toward the nearest park for another lazy afternoon of lounging on the grass.

Just as the park came into view, however, it started raining again. Within a minute, it was pouring and Merlin was already completely soaked.

"How long is this supposed to keep up?" he asked, shouting to be heard over the sound of the rain pounding onto the pavement.

Mordred bent over at the waist as he checked his mobile, trying to keep it from getting wet.

"Three hours," he said when he straightened back up. "Should we go see a movie or something?"

"I can't," Elyan said, pouting a little. "My flight's in a few hours. Unless," he turned to Merlin, "you just want to give me your key card and then, like, I don't know, pretend you lost yours when you get back later."

"It's fine. I can't sit in a cold theatre in these wet clothes anyway." Merlin ran his hands through his hair, flinging water off his head. "How about we regroup in the evening?" he suggested to the rest of his friends.

The group disbanded quickly, everyone eager to get back to their dry homes. Not wanting to wait for a bus, Merlin and Elyan hailed a cab back to the hotel.

"You boys here on vacation?" the driver asked when he heard their accents and their destination.

"Business," Merlin answered.

"Pleasure for me," Elyan said happily, reaching across the backseat to squeeze Merlin's leg.

Merlin saw the driver smirking in the rearview mirror.

"Shameless," Merlin said quietly as Elyan shifted his hand higher up on Merlin's jeans.

"I am a perfect gentleman." Elyan rubbed his fingertips up and down the inside of Merlin's thigh.

Merlin bit his lip, trying to look unaffected even as his body lit up from the drag of Elyan's hand.

"All right," the driver said as he pulled up in front of the hotel. "Stay dry."

"Bit late for that," Elyan said as he pulled out his wallet.

"I can get it," Merlin offered.

Elyan waved him off. "Do you have a lot of Canadian cash on you?" he teased.

"No," Merlin admitted.

"Then don't worry about it. I'm sure you can think of a way to pay me back."

"Gross," Merlin said over the sound of the driver's laughter.

Elyan finished paying and then shoved Merlin out of the cab and into the rain. They ran into the hotel and, dripping all across the lobby, went straight for the lifts.

"Are you going to be cold?" Elyan asked as he pushed Merlin back against the door as soon as they got into the room.

"No." Merlin moved in for a kiss, sliding his tongue against Elyan's.

They moved away from the door, leaving a trail of sopping wet clothes across the floor before reaching the bed. Merlin shoved Elyan down and crawled on after him, reaching for his dick as they kissed sloppily.

"When do you have to leave?"

"We've got time," Elyan said, lifting his hips a little. "What do you want to do?"

Merlin responded with another kiss, dragging it out until Elyan started panting against his lips.

"Harder," Elyan whispered, his fingers digging into Merlin's back. "Really hard."

Merlin shifted down to lick and suck at Elyan's neck as he rubbed Elyan's cock with more pressure.

"Yeah," Elyan groaned. "Yeah, yeah. Oh…" He trailed off with a series of moans as Merlin worked him over, and Merlin smiled against his neck.

"Fuck," Elyan said as Merlin's hand started to cramp. There was a sharp edge to his voice.

Merlin kissed him, quick and filthy, before scooting down the bed and giving his cock a firm lick. Elyan sighed and moved his hands to Merlin's hair, tugging whenever Merlin did what he liked.

"Mm, yeah," he grunted when Merlin started sucking him harder. "Like that."

Merlin continued until he thought the muscles in his neck might start spasming, and then he turned onto his side, pulling Elyan with him, and rested his head on Elyan's thigh so he could keep going.

Elyan hissed at the new position, tightening his grip on Merlin's hair. Merlin hummed in agreement, and Elyan's hips bucked against his mouth.

"On your back," Elyan said after a while.

Merlin obliged, flopping over and letting Elyan straddle his face. He wrapped an arm around one of Elyan's thighs and reached down with his other hand to stroke his own dick. He loved the sounds Elyan was making, and the way Elyan tasted, and how Elyan was grinding down against him and making it harder to breath, and he was wet and ready to come even if Elyan wasn't.

"Oh, like that," Elyan said, his voice low and breathy. "Yeah, yeah—"

Elyan gasped and Merlin grabbed his hip, sucking roughly on his dick.

"Shit," Elyan muttered a moment later. He sat up, panting, and smiled ruefully.

"What are you thinking about?" Merlin asked, running his hands up Elyan's legs.

"Missing my flight." Elyan licked his lips. "Missing you."

Merlin pushed himself up and gave Elyan a long kiss. "What can I do?"

Elyan considered Merlin for a moment and then started pulling on his own dick. "Can I watch you?"

Merlin lay back down and lowered his hand, brushing his fingers over his cock. He was hard and swollen and throbbing—he was close, and he wasn't sure he could stand to tease himself for as long as it might take Elyan to come.

Elyan spread his legs and started jerking himself off more quickly.

A jolt of warning sparked up Merlin's thigh, and he gasped and tried to slow himself down.

"Don't," Elyan said breathlessly. "Not yet."

Merlin swallowed a groan of frustration and moved his fingers in short, firm strokes, holding back as much as he could.

"Christ, you're hot like this."

Merlin whimpered and moved his hand to Elyan's thigh. His dick twitched, seeking release, and he was pretty sure just one more touch would push him over the edge.

"Ah," Elyan gasped, trembling. He leaned down, bracing himself on the bed with his free hand. "Fuck, _fuck_ , I'm—"

Merlin surged up, pulling Elyan in for a kiss as he finally started to come. He moaned against Merlin's lips, and he dropped down to his elbow, continuing to rub himself through the orgasm. The back of his hand started bumping against Merlin's dick, and Merlin shifted away quickly, trying to hold off until he was finished.

"God," he muttered, slumping on top of Merlin. "Oh, fuck, I need a nap."

Merlin laughed and ran his hand up and down Elyan's back. "You can sleep on the plane."

Elyan grunted in agreement and, taking a deep breath, sat up. "What do you want?" he asked, dragging his fingers along the trail of hair leading down from Merlin's navel.

"Literally anything," Merlin said quickly. "I'm so fucking close."

Elyan grinned. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, just—mm!" Merlin inhaled sharply as Elyan dropped down and started sucking him. "Oh, Jesus, El…"

Merlin came with a low groan, his body melting into the sheets as the tension broke.

Elyan sucked him through it until he started squirming and then switched to licking around his dick instead.

"Come on," Merlin pleaded, his body jerking as Elyan's tongue flicked against the sensitive head of his cock. "Please, please."

Elyan gave Merlin's dick a kiss before he sat up, looking pleased with himself.

"God," Merlin said weakly, his head spinning a little. "I need a nap, too."

Elyan laughed and leaned down for a long kiss. "Can I use your shower?"

Merlin nodded and Elyan gave him another kiss before rolling off the bed. Merlin tried to talk himself into getting up—he needed to get dressed and hang up his wet clothes and make sure Elyan's things were all collected—but he couldn't find the strength.

"Hey," Elyan said and then pressed a soft kiss to Merlin's chin. "I have to go."

Merlin forced himself to open his eyes. Elyan was fully dressed and leaning over Merlin's naked body.

"Fuck," he muttered, licking his lips. "Sorry."

Elyan grabbed Merlin's hands and pulled him up until he was sitting.

"You should go back to sleep," he said, brushing the hair off Merlin's forehead. "I just wanted to say goodbye."

"I am very underdressed for this," Merlin said, looking around for any item of clothing he could put on.

"I like it." Elyan ran his hands through Merlin's hair a few times and then took a step back, sighing. "I really do have to go."

Merlin nodded, not sure what to say.

A long silence passed between them.

"Let me know when you land safely," Merlin finally said. "And, um… yeah. I'll… we'll stay in touch. Just, you know, email me whenever."

Elyan nodded. "Yeah. Same for you."

"Thank you for coming," Merlin said quietly. "I'm really glad I got to see you."

Elyan smiled sadly and moved back in for a kiss. "Me, too. Let me know next time you're around, yeah?"

Merlin nodded. "Yeah."

"Yeah." Elyan sighed and pressed his forehead to Merlin's. "I really need to go."

"Go," Merlin whispered. "It's okay."

"Okay."

Elyan took a step back and looked like he was actually going to leave, but then he leaned down and gave Merlin a long, hard kiss instead.

He broke the kiss and walked away in the same quick movement, heading straight for the door without looking back.

Merlin heard the door click shut, and he flopped back down on the bed.

"Fuck, that was so stupid," he muttered. " _Shit._ "

Merlin let himself wallow for a while, but eventually he made himself get up and get dressed. He found his wet clothes hanging in the shower, and the sight of something so domestic sent a pang though his stomach.

"Fuck it," he muttered, going back out into the living room and finding his mobile on the kitchen table. He grabbed it and flopped down on the sofa to send a text to Mordred.

_SOS. Can you gather whoever is still free for a cuddle party in my hotel room?_

**Did Elyan leave?**

_What do you think?_

**I think it sounds like time for a cuddle party. I'll let you know when we're heading over**

_Call instead of texting. Might fall asleep._

Merlin turned the volume all the way up on his mobile and set it on his chest as he lay across the sofa. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off to thoughts of taking his friends up to the roof deck.

~

Merlin spent his Monday at Avalon, working some on the cave piece but mostly just bothering and distracting his former co-workers. His pieces were basically what they needed to be, and he didn't have the attention span to polish them for publishing, so he didn't have much work to keep him occupied. He could have just gone back to the hotel, but the flight home was at 10pm, and he wanted to be as tired as possible by then so that he would sleep for most of the six-and-a-half-hour flight. The plane would land in London around 10:30am, so his best shot at minimising the effects of jet lag was to sleep as much as he could during his travel.

He let Gaius take him out for lunch, and then again for an early dinner where he indulged in a little too much farewell poutine and beer. He returned to the hotel to start packing, thinking he should have done a late dinner instead since now he was full and exhausted and ready to curl up and sleep somewhere.

Once he was packed up, Merlin phoned Arthur.

"Hey," Arthur answered. "Is it time?"

"Yeah, about. Are you ready?"

"Nearly. Just sorting out my hand luggage."

"All right. Can I come down?"

"Yeah," Arthur said after a long pause. "I'll prop the door open."

"Okay."

Merlin hung up and did one final sweep of his room to make sure nothing was being left behind, and then he collected his bags and headed down to Arthur's room.

He hadn't seen Arthur since they'd all watched _Titanic_ at Mordred and Kara's. He hadn't even talked to Arthur beyond sending him a text that morning to coordinate a time to check out of the hotel.

"Hey," he called as he let himself into Arthur's room.

Arthur was on the floor, checking under the bed.

"Hey." Arthur stood with a grunt. "I feel like I'm forgetting something, but I have no idea what it is."

"You have your mobile?" Merlin asked. Arthur nodded. "Wallet? Passport? Meds so you don't have a panic attack?" Arthur continued nodding. "Then I'm sure the hotel can send you whatever else you may have left behind."

"Yeah." Arthur sighed and looked around the room. "All right, I guess… I guess let's go."

Merlin led the way down to the lobby where they checked out and had the front desk staff order them a cab.

The ride to the airport was nearly silent. Arthur was subdued enough that Merlin suspected he had already taken some of his anti-anxiety medication. The driver made no attempt to engage them in conversation, and Merlin had no idea what to say or do. It didn't seem like Arthur hated him, but it didn't seem like Arthur wanted to be friendly toward him, either.

The security check queues were surprisingly long, and by the time they reached their gate, there was less than an hour before the flight was scheduled to board.

"Do you want food or anything?" Merlin asked, dumping his bag on the floor next to the seat Arthur had chosen.

Arthur quickly downed his pills. "No. I mean… yeah. Probably should."

"I can try to find a sandwich," Merlin offered.

Arthur nodded, and Merlin went to see what shops and restaurants were open.

He came back with a burger for Arthur and a salad for himself, since he was still pretty full from the poutine he'd had earlier.

"Do you think I can bring this on the plane?" Arthur asked after he'd eaten half of the burger. "Or would the smell be rude?"

"Might be a bit rude with the onions," Merlin admitted. "They'll definitely feed us at some point. Or you can get a less smelly snack."

Arthur rubbed his temples, sighing, and stood. "Have whatever you want," he said, passing the burger off to Merlin before heading toward the shops.

Merlin took a few bites of the burger, trying not to take Arthur's detached attitude personally. He was just drugged and tired and anxious. And, sure, he was probably also feeling awkward about how Merlin had been _all over_ him at the club the other night. But, hopefully, he was mostly just drugged and tired and anxious.

Arthur came back with a bag of pretzels and sat down just in time to have to stand back up immediately when they were called to board.

Their seats on the flight home were much closer to each other. Merlin was in the aisle seat on the right-hand section, and Arthur was only four rows up.

"Do you want to try to switch seats?" Merlin asked as he helped to lift Arthur's luggage into the overhead locker.

"I'm fine. Flindy… fine."

Merlin snorted. "What?"

"Flint… flan… what's that saying?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

Arthur frowned, looking distraught. "It's something about… fish?"

Merlin chuckled and pushed Arthur down into his seat. "I'm sure you'll remember it soon."

Arthur buckled himself into the seat even though the seat next to him was empty and he'd have to get up when that person boarded.

"All good?" Merlin asked. "Sure you don't want me to try to switch seats."

"I'm fine," Arthur said again. "Fine and…" He trailed off, his expression going blank.

"Dandy?" Merlin guessed.

"Mhm." Arthur leaned his head back on the seat and reached up to brush his fingers across the back of Merlin's hand.

"Okay." Merlin gave Arthur's hand a squeeze, resisting the urge to pet his hair. "I'll check on you once we're up, yeah?"

"Yeah," Arthur agreed vaguely.

"Okay," Merlin said, mostly to himself. He went to get settled in his own seat, leaning into the aisle every few minutes even though all he could see of Arthur was some blond hair above the seat and a hand gripping the armrest.

The plane started down the runway as the flight attendants were still giving their safety demonstration, and in what felt like no time at all, they were lifting off.

The man in the seat next to Merlin was already asleep, and the woman next to the window was reading. She had pressed as far into the corner of her seat as she could manage. Merlin didn't know why Arthur wouldn't let him switch their seats. Surely the sleeping man wouldn't have given a shit about which seat he slept in. Then Arthur could have been next to him and he could have made sure that Arthur didn't hyperventilate. As it was, all he could do was stretch up or to the side to make sure that Arthur hadn't left his seat.

Once they were level, Merlin got up and went to check on Arthur.

"All right?" he asked, giving Arthur's shoulder a squeeze.

Arthur shrugged, looking pale.

"Do you want to watch something?" Merlin gestured at the small telly on the back of the seat in front of Arthur.

Arthur shrugged again, so Merlin set him up with a _Doctor Who_ episode.

"Sleep if you can," he said, opening Arthur's headphones for him.

Arthur just took the headphones and fitted them over his head, his eyes glued to the screen.

"All right," Merlin said, not sure if Arthur could still hear him. "Come find me if you need anything."

When Arthur didn't respond, Merlin gave his shoulder another squeeze and went back to his own seat. He opened the complimentary eye mask, slipped it on, and tried to go to sleep.

He ended up waking up every time someone walked down the aisle past him. And when the man next to him got up for the toilet. And when the flight attendants made the rounds for drinks and snacks and, eventually, breakfast.

By the time the plane landed, Merlin had only gotten about four hours of sleep, and never for more than 30 or so minutes at a time.

He felt like a zombie, but Arthur looked worse.

"Did you sleep?" Merlin asked, taking Arthur's bag from him as they disembarked.

"No," Arthur croaked. "Took more meds, though." He followed Merlin down the tunnel, but when they emerged into the airport, he took off in a random direction.

"Hey," Merlin called after him. Arthur ignored him, so Merlin had to jog over and grab his arm. "This way," he said, steering Arthur toward the queues for customs.

Arthur was alarmingly useless on this new dosage. Merlin had to guide him through every step, save for the actual customs check since they were called to different officers. It was a wonder Arthur didn't say anything to bring himself under suspicion.

When they were finally through and able to collect their cases from the baggage carousel, Merlin herded Arthur into a cab and then they were finally on their way back to their block of flats.

"Fuck," Arthur moaned a few minutes into the ride. "It's so bright."

"It's morning," Merlin pointed out.

Arthur whimpered. "I'm so fucked. I should have slept."

"Did you purposefully not?"

"No. I just couldn't." Arthur rubbed at his eyes like a sleepy child. "How bad will it be if I sleep when we get home?"

"Probably bad," Merlin admitted. "Maybe just for a few hours? Enough to get you through the end of the day."

Arthur nodded and slumped over sideways, his head landing in Merlin's lap.

"Sorry," he mumbled, closing his eyes. "Literally can't sit up."

Merlin bit his lip and reached out to play with Arthur's hair. In less than a minute, Arthur was snoring quietly.

Merlin forced himself to look out the window for the rest of the ride so he wouldn't just stare down at Arthur's pretty face the whole time.

When the cab pulled up to their building, Merlin shook Arthur gently until he woke up with a snort.

"Sorry," Arthur said, pushing himself up. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Merlin assured him. "We're here. Time to get out."

Arthur grumbled as he undid his seatbelt, and as he got out of the cab, and as he dragged his bags out of the boot, and as he followed Merlin into the lobby.

"You're almost home," Merlin said, amused. "Do you have that key card?"

Arthur just stared blankly at him.

"Do you have your wallet?"

Arthur patted himself down until he found his wallet inside his jacket pocket. He handed it over and Merlin went through it until he found the card that would let them take the lifts up to the penthouse.

"Come on," he said, tugging on Arthur's hand as the lift doors opened. "Just a little further."

Arthur dragged his luggage onto the lift and then sat on top of it for the short ride.

"You are ridiculous," Merlin said fondly. "Give me your mobile."

"Huh?" Arthur glanced up at him.

"Your mobile. Unlock it."

Arthur found his mobile in his jeans pocket and unlocked it before handing it over.

Merlin turned off Airplane Mode so the time would reset itself. He set a few alarms for later that afternoon, hoping Arthur wouldn't be so drugged and jet lagged that he would sleep through all of them, and then gave it back.

"Did you write me a love note?" Arthur asked, pushing the mobile back into his pocket.

The lift dinged and opened onto the foyer, saving Merlin from responding.

"Come on," he said, holding out his hands. Arthur just stared up at him. "You are useless," Merlin muttered, grabbing Arthur's arms and yanking him up. "Come on."

Arthur followed him across the foyer and, luckily, the front door was unlocked so they were able to get in without having to search for Arthur's keys, which were no doubt buried somewhere inconvenient in his luggage.

"Come on," Merlin said again, leading the way to Arthur's room.

Arthur trailed after Merlin, dragging his luggage behind him.

As soon as they reached Arthur's room, Arthur collapsed face-first onto the bed.

"Do you want to change, or…" Merlin trailed off, realising that Arthur was somehow already asleep. "You silly man," he said to himself, turning out the lights.

He closed the door behind himself and headed back toward the foyer where he'd left his own bags.

"Hey," Gwaine said, sticking his head out from the lounge. "You're back."

"Yeah." Merlin stifled a yawn. "Arthur is drugged out of his mind."

Gwaine chuckled and greeted Merlin with a hug. "Sounds about right. Did he live through the flights?"

"Barely." Merlin set his hands on Gwaine's hips and closed his eyes, trying to talk himself down from what his body was screaming to do.

"What are you doing for the rest of the day?" Gwaine asked.

"Trying to stay awake until a reasonable hour," Merlin admitted. "It's going to be a struggle."

"Yeah?" Gwaine leaned closed and pressed a kiss to Merlin's ear. "Can I help?"

"I might pass out on you," Merlin admitted.

"I promise not to take advantage of that."

Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Let me fuck you awake," Gwaine said, his voice low and his breath sending shivers down Merlin's neck.

"Okay." Merlin inhaled shakily and shifted away to look Gwaine full in the face. Gwaine smiled easily at him, and Merlin went in for a kiss.

"Oh," Gwaine said when he pulled back, sounding pleased. "That was nice."

"Was that… I know we haven't—"

Gwaine cut him off with another, longer, wetter kiss. Merlin melted into it a little, wondering what the hell had stopped them from doing this before.

"Bed?" Gwaine asked against Merlin's lips.

Merlin turned around and Gwaine wrapped his arms around Merlin's stomach, kissing up the back of Merlin's neck as Merlin stumbled down the hall and toward Gwaine's room.

~~~

Arthur only barely managed to get to Camelot at a reasonable time on Wednesday morning. His body was protesting every movement, begging to be allowed to go back to sleep, but Arthur brute forced his way through the morning until he reached his desk.

"Welcome back," Tristan said as Arthur set down his things. "Are you a professor yet?"

"No."

"Shame."

"Trying to get rid of me, Kernow?"

Tristan shrugged, looking unbearably smug. "Just trying to figure you out, Pendragon."

Arthur rolled his eyes and turned back to his desk. "I'm not a mystery."

Tristan snorted before leaving Arthur alone.

Arthur spent some time working through his emails before heading into a meeting Annis had scheduled with him before he left.

"You're here," Annis said, sounding surprised as he came into her office. "I thought for sure the jet lag would get the better of you."

"Oh, it has," Arthur assured her. "I'm just a glutton for punishment, I suppose."

Annis laughed. "Well, I'm glad to see you. Tell me about your trip."

Arthur stifled a yawn. "It was _really_ good. My friend, Geraint, his lab is doing some interesting things with motor control. They've got—"

"This is for ankles, right?" Annis asked.

"Yes, but—"

Arthur was cut off again by Garreth coming into Annis's office and settling into the chair next to Arthur.

"Arthur was just telling me about his trip," Annis said, looking thoroughly unsurprised to see her boss crashing the meeting.

"Don't let me stop you," Garreth said, gesturing for Arthur to continue.

Arthur forced a tight smile and started delving into the projects Geraint was working on, the techniques and methodologies he'd seen in Geraint's labs, and how he hoped to implement some of what he'd learned into his own work and the work of his junior engineers.

"Arthur," Annis said sternly after she'd grilled him on some of the technical details of his ideas. "You're… you're brilliant. We all three of us know that."

"Thank you," Arthur said, not sure how else to respond. He could feel the 'but' coming, and he wasn't looking forward to having to defend himself against whatever criticism Annis had for him, especially not in front of Garreth.

"I want you to stay here, and I want you to succeed," Annis continued. "What do _you_ want?"

Arthur licked his lips, surprised by the question. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"We already know how much you enjoy working with the junior engineers. And your whole face lit up when you were talking about your friend's lab."

"Yes," Arthur said when it became clear she was waiting for a response. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Not necessarily." Annis glanced briefly at Garreth. "We want to know if you're considering a career change. The conversations we've been having lately, the timing of this trip—it's just adding up a certain way. Are you looking to work at a university?"

"No," Arthur lied. "I'm happy here."

Annis narrowed her eyes, and Arthur knew she didn't believe him.

"Glad to hear it," Garreth said, either oblivious or choosing to let Arthur get away with the lie, at least for now.

"Yes," Annis agreed. "I'm glad your back. I look forward to seeing you implement what you learned at McGill."

"Thank you." Arthur stood to leave.

"Put a meeting on my calendar for next Monday," she said when he was near the door. "I want to see what Ewan has been working on."

Arthur nodded before letting himself out. He went straight to Ewan's desk to check on their new material for the wrist joint.

Luckily, Ewan had made a surprising amount of progress while Arthur had been in Canada. He had modeled several reconfigurations of the carpus using variations of the material Arthur had helped him develop. He'd even worked with the chemistry lab to make a small sample.

"Might still have a little too much give," Arthur said, squeezing the sample as hard as he could. "Texture's spot on, though."

"Yeah, I'm not happy with it." Ewan set the sample back on his desk. "But we'll get there."

Arthur grinned. "We will. Let me set you up in Chem for the rest of the week. This can only get you so far," he said, gesturing at the models on Ewan's computer screen.

"Thank you," Ewan said excitedly. "That would be great."

Arthur nodded and excused himself to check on the rest of his staff and start them off on incorporating some of what he'd learned from Geraint. The jet lag was hitting him hard by the time he got back to his desk, and he ended up spending the rest of the afternoon on his mobile, looking up open faculty positions at some local universities.

He left around 4pm after he nodded off at his desk and nearly fell out of his chair. He was exhausted, and he'd done as much as work as he was going to be able to, so he went home after shooting an email to one of the chemical engineers about Ewan.

Gwaine was in the kitchen when Arthur got home, which wouldn't have been noteworthy except that he was sitting in the middle of the floor with a small army of pots and pans surrounding him.

"Are you high?" Arthur asked, stepping carefully around the array to get a glass of water.

"No," Gwaine said mournfully. "Just trying to figure out what to do for Leon's birthday."

"That's not really an explanation for this."

Gwaine sighed. "I suppose not. I was thinking of throwing a dinner party."

"Still not an explanation," Arthur pointed at. "Especially since you categorically cannot and should not cook."

"I agree," Gwaine said to Arthur's surprise. "Do you think I could get Merlin to help?"

"If by 'help' you mean 'cook the entire meal' because, like I said, you cannot and should not cook, then maybe. Maybe you should pay him. How many people are you inviting?"

"Dunno. Depends on how much food we can make, I guess. Or should we make the food based on the amount of people?"

"You're asking the wrong person."

Gwaine frowned and, looking resigned, started gathering the pots and pans to put them away. He was making an awful racket, so Arthur took his water through his room and out onto his balcony where he could continue researching university jobs in peace.

~

By Friday, Arthur still wasn't over the jet lag, but he had mastered a coffee routine that made it possible to function normally for most of the day.

And that was imperative, because he had a feeling Annis and Garreth had started watching him like a hawk, and that had forced him to be productive at work. Too productive, even. Between Thursday and Friday, Arthur had done a complete audit of his junior engineers' work, set up plans for those that had strayed off course or who needed extra guidance, shadowed Ewan around the chemistry lab to make sure he'd have something to present to Annis on Monday, and built a completely new model—both on the computer and using the department's 3D printer—of his wrist prototype using some of the strategies Geraint had showed him to stabilise the joint and its reflexes under normal and moderate conditions.

When he finally got home on Friday evening, he was ready for bed. He no longer cared about sticking to a normal schedule to combat the jet lag. He just wanted to sleep, and then he would have the rest of the weekend to deal with the consequences and try to readjust again.

"You free tomorrow night?" Gwaine called out form the lounge as soon as he'd stepped into their flat.

"Are you asking me?" Arthur asked, kicking off his shoes.

"Yeah, who else? Dinner party's off. You free for the club?"

"Leon wants to go to a club for his birthday?" Arthur asked skeptically.

"Yeah. Probably has something to do with getting Freya into that tiny dress again."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Right. Well… I'm free, I guess, if you're serious."

"'Course I am."

Arthur stepped into the lounge and looked around. The telly was off.

"What are you doing?" he asked. Gwaine never stepped foot in the lounge unless he was watching or playing something.

"Reading." Gwaine picked up the book he had lying next to him on the sofa.

" _Reading_ ," Arthur repeated incredulously. "Are you ill?"

"No." Gwaine pretended to look offended. "I'm just reading."

Arthur stepped closer and put the back of his hand against Gwaine's forehead. Gwaine shoved his hand away, laughing, and Arthur settled down next to him on the sofa.

"What happened to the dinner party? Couldn't get Merlin to volunteer?"

"I'm sure he would have," Gwaine said, fingering the spine of his book. "Didn't seem fair to ask, though."

"Why not?"

Gwaine looked up, his eyebrows raised. "He hasn't told you?"

"Who hasn't told me what?"

"Merlin," Gwaine said. "He hasn't mentioned?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Arthur said, getting annoyed. "The last time I spoke with Merlin was the day of our flight. Have I missed something important?"

"I mean, 'important' might be too strong of a word, but… well, he called it off. So… I'm a free agent. Again."

Arthur was glad he was already sitting down, because suddenly all his bones felt hollow and weak.

"Are… I'm sorry," he managed, his mind reeling. "Are you all right?"

Gwaine flashed him a grin. "I'm great. Just not going to ask him to cook for a full dinner party when I can't even thank him with sex."

"When did he…"

"Wednesday morning," Gwaine said with a shrug. "Shame, really, because we had a _very_ nice Tuesday, but what are you going to do? Didn't make sense to keep going like we had been."

"Why not? Wait, why were you still thinking about asking him to cook when I talked to you on Wednesday _evening_ if you'd already broken up?"

"We didn't break up, we just decided to stop fucking. And I hadn't quite thought it all the way through yet. But, yeah. We were just fucking. Like, only fucking, no feelings. That's not an arrangement that's meant to last."

"I'm sorry," Arthur heard himself saying. "Are you all right?"

"I just finished telling you about how there were no feelings between us," Gwaine pointed out. "I'm completely fine. Like, fine and dandy. Fine and randy, even."

"Still," Arthur pressed. "Are you… is he—did everything end well?"

"Yeah. It was easy. Luckily." He looked over at Arthur and said, slowly and very clearly. "There was nothing between us. He's a free agent, now, too, and to be honest I think he's glad for it."

"And you're… you're really all right with it?"

Gwaine glared at him. "If you ask me that one more time, I'm going to cock slap you."

"Wow. There is _no_ need for that. I'm just trying to be a good friend. Your last break up was a lot messier."

"Yeah, well. That was an actual break up. What I'm trying to say to you—and what you seem to be wilfully ignoring—is that there was _nothing_ between us. He called it off, but it was mutual, and we're still friends. We're both ready to move on."

"Good," Arthur said after a moment. "I'm glad you're all right."

"I think he wants a relationship," Gwaine continued, giving Arthur an uncharacteristically serious look.

"Okay," Arthur said, not sure why Gwaine would be telling him that. Unless… "What do you want?" he asked before he could get carried away by that thought.

"You know what I want," Gwaine said, picking up his book again.

"Percy?"

Gwaine let out a long sigh. "The one thing I cannot have."

"You'll find someone," Arthur said, patting Gwaine's knee as he stood.

"'Someone' is not what I'm looking for."

"I don't know what that means," Arthur admitted.

"Yeah," Gwaine muttered. "You wouldn't."

Deciding not to badger Gwaine anymore, especially since he was being purposefully vague, Arthur excused himself to the kitchen to find something suitable for dinner.

~

Arthur woke up on Saturday feeling surprisingly normal. He'd slept in a little later than he normally would have, but he felt more awake than he had any other morning since coming back from Canada.

After scraping together some breakfast, he treated himself to a long soak in the bathtub.

His week had been reasonably good once he'd gotten back to Camelot. He'd done as much as he could to be prepared for his upcoming Monday meeting with Annis. And he'd looked through the websites of every university in London so much that he practically had them memorised. He hadn't done anything with the information yet, but he was starting get an idea of which schools he might like to work at.

If he actually decided to go through with it. Maybe he really was happy at Camelot. Maybe he should stay and succeed and take over Annis's job.

He barely even knew what Annis did all day, besides harass him about his career choices.

When the bath water went cold, Arthur hopped in the shower to rinse off and then headed out to the shops. He wanted to buy a new suit, in case he somehow ended up with an interview. Maybe if he had a suit, he'd be more motivated to make a decision about applying for jobs. He also wanted to buy something to wear out that night for Leon's birthday, because he couldn't think of anything he owned that he would want to go out dancing in.

Especially now that Merlin was single.

Not that Merlin would be there. Arthur was pretty sure Merlin and Leon had spent about as much time together as Arthur had with Freya, which was approximately none at all.

Not that it mattered either way. They hadn't spoken since their flight, and Arthur couldn't imagine a scenario where they would casually spend time together again. He'd fucked things up too much in Montréal for him to feel comfortable inviting himself over to play with Aithusa or inviting Merlin over to sit in his hot tub for no reason.

Really, it wasn't surprising that things had gone that way. He'd been pushing the boundaries between them since nearly the beginning—saying that Merlin was usually naked in his dreams, saying he wanted to eat Merlin, playing with Merlin's hair, saying God knows what when they got drunk in the hot tub. It had really only ever been a matter of time before he said or did something a step too far.

If only he'd been more assertive that first night in Merlin's flat. He could have asked for Merlin's number and… and done what? And tried to get into Merlin's pants before Gwaine did.

Fuck Gwaine and his whole MO.

Except that Arthur probably wouldn't have gotten to know Merlin the same way if it weren't for the fact that he was hooking up with Gwaine.

Although, at this point, maybe that would have been a good thing. If Arthur had just been able to keep lusting after Merlin from afar, the fact that he could never have Merlin would be a lot easier to digest. But they'd become friends, and he'd got to know how clever Merlin was, and how funny, and how generous. And how into the same games, and the same food, and the same lazy nights out on balconies and in hot tubs he was. And how pretty his smile was when he was surrounded by his friends in the park. And how attentive and sweet he was when Arthur was only barely suppressing a panic attack during take-off.

Fuck Gwaine, Arthur decided as he tried on what he was pretty sure was the tenth suit. Definitely all his fault.

Arthur ended up buying two suits, though he would need to get them tailored, and a soft, dark blue v-neck shirt that he could wear that night. It made his eyes look even more blue than they normally did, and he'd always thought his neck was a good feature, and he was too over it to go to any more shops.

He went to the gym after dropping off his new clothes at home and worked on the rowing machine until the gym closed.

"Where have you been?" Gwaine asked when Arthur came home again and started chugging a glass of water in the kitchen.

"Gym," Arthur rasped when the glass was empty. He set it down on the counter and wiped off his mouth. "Were you looking for me?"

Gwaine shrugged and sat on a stool. "Are you coming out tonight?"

"'Course. Did you think I would bail?"

"Hoped not." Gwaine looked up at him for a moment and then dropped his gaze to the floor. "Percy's coming."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Dunno," Gwaine sighed. "Sort of hoped he'd be busy."

Arthur shook his head. "I thought you liked having him around? You always had fun when we played games together."

Gwaine shrugged and looked back up. "Yeah. I don't know. Just… frustrated, I guess. It got a bit more real that one night we went to the cinema and he, like… I don't know. It's not even him, you know? He's straight, so it doesn't 'really' matter, but it's just everything he… represents, I guess."

"What does he represent?" Arthur asked cautiously. Gwaine so rarely talked about his feelings like this. And he'd been _reading_ the day before. Maybe he really was ill.

"My stupidity," Gwaine said with a wry smile. "I just can't even remember the last time I liked someone so much. But it _never_ works out, so, like, even if he weren't straight, I'd still be fucked."

"Yeah," Arthur said slowly. "That does seem to be your pattern."

Gwaine rolled his eyes. "Thanks."

"You're the one who brought it up. I'm just saying. You always, I don't know, get bored or something."

"Not bored," Gwaine said quietly. "Just… restless, maybe."

"Why is that?"

Gwaine shrugged, pouting. "I just find it difficult to stick it out with one person."

"Might want to work on that," Arthur said gently. "As that's generally what a relationship is."

Gwaine huffed and then gave Arthur a tight smile. "Can I enlist you to help me pick out what to wear tonight?"

"I need a shower first," Arthur said, refilling his glass. "And I need to eat something."

"I'll cook," Gwaine offered.

"Please don't."

Gwaine chuckled. "Okay. I'll order takeaway?"

Arthur nodded as he downed the water. "Sure. Get me whatever." He put his glass in the sink and went to take his second shower of the day.

When he got out, Gwaine was there, spreading various shirts across his bed.

"Don't you have your own room?" Arthur asked.

"Don't you have a towel?" Gwaine asked, looking up from his arranging.

"Didn't think I'd have company," Arthur pointed out. He went over to his bureau to put on briefs.

"Didn't think you—"

"If you say something about my dick, I'm going to take it back out and piss all over your clothes."

Gwaine snorted. "Noted. Okay, so this is the first option." Gwaine held out his arms so Arthur could get a full view of the shirt he was wearing.

It was just a white t-shirt.

"Okay. Not a lot going on with that one."

"No," Gwaine agreed. "It's at the bottom of my list right now." He yanked off the white shirt and put on a light blue denim shirt. He tucked it into his black jeans and held out his arms again. "I'd wear a belt with this."

"What colour?"

"Brown."

Arthur nodded and Gwaine tried on the next option, which was just a dark green t-shirt with a pocket and some buttons.

"Who are you trying to dress for?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know," Gwaine said, sounding a bit desperate. "You have no idea how much I wish Merlin had waited another week before fucking off with himself."

"Would you really have brought him if you were still sleeping together?"

Gwaine paused halfway out of the green shirt. "You know he's coming, right?"

"Who?" Arthur asked, his stomach turning a little. "Merlin? Why?"

Gwaine shrugged and finished taking off his shirt. "Why wouldn't he?"

"Because he doesn't know Leon."

"He doesn't not know Leon," Gwaine said, pulling another shirt over his head. "And he knows Leon's girlfriend. He _lives_ with Leon's girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" Arthur asked, wondering if he had really been so wrapped up in his own drama that he'd missed something.

"Or whatever," Gwaine said, shrugging. "'Girl he's fucking and likes a lot' is too long. And a bit crass."

"Like you've ever cared about being crass."

Gwaine winked before gesturing to himself, bringing Arthur back to the task at hand. This shirt was grey and long-sleeved. It looked a little warm for a club, but it also looked really good on Gwaine, especially when he pushed the sleeves up a bit.

"That's the one."

"Yeah?" Gwaine looked down at himself. "It's a bit subdued."

"It'll be a nice contrast to everything else about you."

Gwaine grinned, ripped the shirt off, and started grabbing the rest of the clothes he'd brought.

"Food's on the way," he said once his arms were full. "I didn't get you anything."

Arthur rolled his eyes and strode across the room to shoo Gwaine out the door so he could get dressed alone.

As soon as he was alone, though, all Arthur could think about was seeing Merlin at the club.

He didn't know why he hadn't expected it. Gwaine was right—if Freya was going, and of course Freya was going, then Merlin would be going, too.

Arthur couldn't back out now. It was too late, and it was Leon's birthday, anyway. He needed to go. He needed to at least make an appearance. Maybe he could fake a headache and leave after an hour or two. That was probably the best he could hope for.

After he was dressed, he joined Gwaine in the lounge for dinner and a _Geordie Shore_ marathon that Arthur couldn't convince Gwaine not to watch.

Leon showed up eventually, back from whatever private birthday celebrations he'd been having with Freya, but didn't stay. He just showered, changed, and left again, leaving Arthur to suffer through _Geordie Shore_ with Gwaine until it was time to head out.

They ended up being the first of their group to arrive at the club, so Arthur treated him and Gwaine to some cheap fruity cocktails while they waited.

They hadn't even finished their drinks when Leon and Freya showed up with Merlin in tow.

Merlin was wearing a tight, floral printed short-sleeve shirt buttoned all the way up. He looked queer and adorable and _unfair_. His hair looked ridiculous and untidy as ever, but it also looked unbearably soft. He must have come to the club straight after washing it.

"First round's on me," Merlin shouted over the music. "What do you want?" he asked Leon.

Leon responded with something Arthur couldn't hear, and then Merlin went to the bar.

"Happy birthday, mate," Arthur said, reaching out to muss Leon's carefully styled curls.

Leon pushed his hand away. "Thanks. Thanks for coming."

"'Course. Anything for you."

Leon chuckled. "Can I quote you on that?"

"No."

Merlin came back a few minutes later with five beers, and they all toasted to Leon. As soon as Arthur had taken his first sip, Freya and Leon disappeared onto the dance floor, followed very quickly by Gwaine and Merlin. Arthur watched glumly, drinking his beer and wondering what the point was of Merlin and Gwaine calling off their affair if they were still going to grind all over each other like that.

Gwen showed up right as Arthur was considering options for his next drink. To his horror, she'd brought Morgana.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, giving Morgana a hug.

"Gwen invited me."

"Right, and what is Gwen doing here?" he asked, careful to keep his voice low.

"Leon invited her." Morgana gave him a look like he was very slow.

"Leon doesn't know her," Arthur protested.

"Apparently he does. And even if he didn't know her, he does know me."

Arthur shook his head but didn't have anything to say in response. He followed them to the bar and accepted the beer Morgana bought for him.

"Where is the birthday boy?" Gwen asked.

Arthur gestured toward the writhing crowd. "Somewhere in there."

"Is Freya—oh, shit. Hold on." Gwen passed off her beer to Morgana and walked off without explanation.

Arthur watched as she crossed the club and gave Percy—who had just come in with several other of Leon's work friends—a hug.

"How does she know Percy?" Arthur asked, wondering if Gwen somehow just knew everyone in London.

"That's Percy?" Morgana asked, her eyebrows raised.

"How do _you_ know Percy?"

"I don't. Lance is dating a Percy, though. That must be him."

Arthur blinked. "Lance as in Gwen's partner."

"Yeah."

"Dating as in…"

"As in dating." Morgana rolled her eyes. "Are you drunk already?"

"No, I just… it's just a small, weird, very gay world."

Morgana knocked her bottle against his. "Cheers to that."

Arthur shook his head, watching helplessly as Gwen brought Percy over.

"This is my girlfriend, Morgana," she said. "And I guess you know Arthur?"

Percy nodded and shook both Morgana's and Arthur's hands. "Hey."

"Apparently Percy works with Leon. Small world!" Gwen said happily, taking her beer back from Morgana.

"Where is he?" Percy asked, looking around the club.

"With Freya," Arthur answered. "Can I get you a drink?"

Percy shrugged and followed Arthur to the bar.

"Can I ask—I thought you… weren't you dating a girl?" Arthur asked as they waited to get the attention of the bartender.

"Yeah, why?"

"But… you're dating Lance?"

"Yeah," Percy said slowly. "Why?"

Arthur shook his head. "I just, I thought you were straight."

"Sorry?"

"No, it's—obviously, it's fine. I'm… yeah. Sorry to pry, this whole thing is just new to me."

"What thing?"

They were interrupted when the bartender asked what they wanted, and Arthur put Percy's drink on his tab.

"What thing?" Percy asked again when he had a beer in his hand.

"This poly thing. Morgana's my sister. She's dating Gwen, who's friends with Freya. And Gwen's dating Lance. And Lance is dating you, and you're friends with Leon."

"It's not that complicated," Percy said, laughing.

"No, it is."

"Hey," Merlin said, appearing at Arthur's side. "What are you doing here?" he asked Percy.

"Mate's birthday. Wait, if Gwen's here—do you know Leon as well?"

Merlin nodded, and Arthur gulped down the rest of his beer.

"You're Gwaine's mate, right?" Merlin asked.

"Well, I work with Leon. But, yeah, I know Gwaine. Do you know Gwaine as well?"

"Everyone knows everyone," Arthur said. "Speaking of Gwaine, where'd you leave him?"

"He went to the loo," Merlin explained.

"Excellent idea," Arthur said before heading in that direction. He reached the toilets right as Gwaine was coming out of them. "Hey," he said, grabbing Gwaine's arm. "Can I borrow you?"

"You don't have to ask my permission to fuck Merlin," Gwaine said, trailing along as Arthur dragged him into a corner.

"What?"

"Oh, is that not what this is about?"

"No, of course not. Why would it be? Actually, don't answer that. Look, Percy's here."

Gwaine's face fell a little. "Okay. You didn't really have to warn me about that, I knew he was coming."

"You know Gwen's partner, Lance?"

"Yeah, why?"

"They're dating Percy."

Gwaine just stared at him. "I don't understand."

"Lance and Percy. They're together."

Gwaine's brow furrowed. "What about Gwen?"

"Gwen's dating my sister because apparently they all have open relationships. Which, quite frankly, seems like something you should try."

"Easier said than done. Wait." Gwaine smiled wickedly. "Did you say Gwen's dating Morgana?"

"Yes. _More importantly_ , Percy is dating _Lance_ , which means he's _not straight_."

Gwaine ran a hand through his sweaty hair. "Are you sure? That… that just doesn't sound—"

"I'm sure. I was just talking with him about it."

Gwaine went pale. "Did you—"

"No," Arthur quickly. "I wouldn't throw you under the bus like that. You need to make a move, though."

"Sounds like he has enough people on his hands," Gwaine said.

"No," Arthur said again. "I'm not going to listen to you whine about this anymore. He's not straight, apparently he's not going to care if you still want to fuck other people, and you need to go talk to him."

Gwaine shook his head. "I was not prepared for this."

"Me neither," Arthur said emphatically. "But that's not an excuse."

"No," Gwaine agreed. He licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair again. "How do I look?"

"Good. That shirt was the right choice." Arthur moved to the side so Gwaine could get by him. "Go get him."

Gwaine took a few steps and then turned back, grabbing Arthur's arm the same as Arthur had done to him. "You need to make a move, too."

"I don't—"

" _Arthur_ ," Gwaine said harshly. "Trust me."

With that, he let go of Arthur's arm and went off to find Percy.

Arthur took a deep breath and leaned against the wall.

Maybe… maybe Merlin had said something to Gwaine.

Or maybe Gwaine had just assumed, like he'd done with Arthur.

And he could just as easily have assumed wrong.

"Fuck it," Arthur muttered, pushing himself away from the wall and going back to the bar.

Merlin was there, looking at something on his mobile.

"Hey," Arthur said, stepping close so Merlin could hear him without him having to shout. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Merlin grinned as he put his mobile in his pocket. "I already have one," he said, holding up the bottle in his hand.

"Right." Arthur could feel himself going red. "Can I buy your next one, then?"

Merlin stared at Arthur, his smile wavering as he realised Arthur was hitting on him.

Before either of them could say anything else, Gwen came over and slung her arm around Merlin's neck.

"I lost my girlfriend," she said, pushing hair out of her face with her free hand. "Will you dance with me?"

Merlin looked between her and Arthur a few times. "Sorry," he said finally. "I'm dancing with Arthur. Here." He handed off his beer and then wrapped a hand around Arthur's wrist. "Come with me?"

Arthur nodded and followed Merlin, who pushed so deep into the crowd of dancers that they nearly reached the opposite wall by the time he came to a stop.

"This okay?" Merlin asked, leaning close so Arthur could hear him.

"Yeah, but… did you—I mean…" Arthur licked his lips, not sure what to say. They were being jostled on all sides, and they hadn't started dancing, and he really wasn't sure what Merlin was doing.

Merlin flushed and took one of Arthur's hands in his own. He stepped closer, pressing his chest to Arthur's, and moved his mouth to Arthur's ear.

"I really want to dance with you." His voice was low and it sent a shiver down Arthur's spine. "We can talk later, though, yeah?"

"Yeah." Arthur put his free hand on Merlin's waist, his fingers brushing over Merlin's back. "Later is good."

Merlin grinned and started rocking his hips from side to side, building up a rhythm to the song thumping through the club. Arthur moved with him, nowhere near drunk enough to not feel awkward, but not wanting to spoil the moment.

"So," Merlin said after the song switched. "You know Gwaine is, like, half in love with Percy, right?"

"Yeah," Arthur laughed. "We thought Percy was straight."

Merlin grinned and pulled Arthur a little closer. "Percy's as straight as I am."

"Apparently so. I told Gwaine to talk to him."

"Good."

"And… Gwaine told me to talk to you."

Merlin smirked. "Also good."

Arthur slid his hands to the small of Merlin's back and then a little lower, testing what Merlin might be comfortable with.

Merlin pressed a kiss to the side of Arthur's neck, which was intimate and unexpected enough to make Arthur gasp. Then, smiling, he turned around and pressed his arse against Arthur's crotch.

Arthur bit his lip and grabbed onto Merlin's waist as Merlin started grinding back against him. He was getting hard in his jeans, and that just seemed to be spurring Merlin on.

It didn't take very long for Arthur to get completely hard, and apparently that was all it took to get him to damn feeling awkward. He bent his knees a little and pulled Merlin back against him, rocking to the music. He hadn't done anything like this in ages—he couldn't even remember the last time he'd had the occasion to get an erection in a public place—and it felt _so_ good.

He wanted it to feel good for Merlin, too, so, even though he didn't know what he was doing or what exactly would feel good, Arthur slid one hand between Merlin's legs. Merlin immediately covered Arthur's hand with his own and pushed up while bearing down, grinding against their palms.

"Fuck," Arthur muttered, his cock jerking in his jeans. He licked up the shell of one of Merlin's ears, and Merlin shuddered a little.

Arthur repeated the lick, and Merlin turned back around planted one leg between Arthur's so that he was straddling Arthur's thigh. Arthur pressed forward, seeking friction against Merlin's hip.

"Do you think Leon's having a good birthday?" Merlin asked.

Arthur laughed and pulled Merlin closer. "I'm sure he is," he said, rolling his hips.

Merlin bit his lip and wrapped an arm around Arthur's neck, resting his cheek against Arthur's.

Arthur moved faster, enjoying the hitch of Merlin's breath in his ear whenever he moved just right. He still didn't really know what he was doing, but Merlin seemed to like the pressure of his thigh, so he tugged Merlin as close as he could and was rewarded with a small gasp.

After another song change, Merlin shifted away a little, looking embarrassed.

Arthur dragged him back quickly, not wanting him to think he was going too far or that Arthur wasn't enjoying it. Because Arthur was definitely enjoying it. He hadn't danced with anyone like this in so long, and it was sort of thrilling. He could feel eyes on them—this wasn't a gay club, after all, and he and Merlin were all over each other—and he wanted to show them how much he didn't care and how good of a time he was having.

Merlin buried his face in Arthur's neck, his hands digging into Arthur's sides as they built their rhythm back up.

He said something at some point, his words lost against Arthur's skin.

"What?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shifted away again, and Arthur pulled him back again. He gasped, his eyes closed, and stilled for a moment.

 _Holy fuck,_ Arthur thought as he realised what was about to happen.

Merlin pressed his forehead to Arthur's shoulder and clutched at Arthur's biceps as his body shook. Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's back, holding him as they continued rocking against each other. They slowed down gradually, and Arthur could feel Merlin panting against his shirt.

"Merlin," he said, his voice shaking. His dick was throbbing in his jeans, and if he wasn't careful, he would soon be in the same state as Merlin. "Did you just…"

Merlin nodded, his face still tucked against Arthur's chest.

Arthur cupped Merlin's cheeks, pulling him up for a kiss. Merlin's lips were warm and pliant, and Arthur needed so much more of him.

"Can I take you home?"

Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck, still catching his breath. He was flushed and dishevelled, and Arthur moved in for another kiss without waiting for an answer.

"Christ," Merlin muttered when he broke the kiss. "Sorry, that was—"

"Incredibly hot," Arthur assured him.

Merlin smiled uneasily. "I'm, uh…" He looked around, biting his lip.

He seemed overwhelmed.

"Let me take you home," Arthur pressed. "Leon won't miss us."

"Okay." Merlin dropped his arms from Arthur's neck. "Wait, my home or your home?"

"Does it matter?"

Merlin shook his head slowly, but then Arthur remembered Gwaine.

"Your home?" he offered.

Merlin nodded, and Arthur took his hand to lead him off the dance floor.

~~~

Merlin had no idea what to do with himself. He was on the tube with Arthur, and he'd just _come in his pants_ from grinding at the club, and now they were going back to Merlin's flat.

There was nothing in the train to distract him. There were only a few other people in their car, and none of them were doing anything interesting. All of the ads above the windows were ones he'd seen a thousand times. The only thing he could see out the window was his and Arthur's reflections.

He couldn't believe the way the night was turning out. Lance's boyfriend had shown up and been the same 'straight' Percy that Gwaine had been pining after. Arthur had—very endearingly—offered to buy Merlin drinks until Merlin had cottoned on and taken Arthur onto the dance floor.

And then they had danced, getting dirtier and dirtier with it until Merlin was desperately close to an orgasm. He'd been grinding with Gwaine earlier in the night as well, which hadn't helped. And they'd been on full display in the crowd, dry humping each other in front of dozens of strangers. And Arthur was _so_ fit and so lovely, and Merlin had tried to stop it from happening. He'd pulled back, he'd told Arthur they should stop—although he wasn't sure if Arthur had heard him—but he hadn't been quick enough. The pressure of Arthur's thigh and the seam of his jeans rubbing against his dick had been too damn much, and he'd come right then and there.

Before they had even kissed.

Arthur cleared his throat and made what he probably thought was a casual attempt to put his arm around Merlin's shoulders.

Merlin grinned and rested a hand on Arthur's leg, fighting down the urge to continue with the naughty streak and feel up Arthur's hard cock through his jeans.

"That's us," Arthur said when their stop was announced.

Merlin stood first, trailing his hand up Arthur's thigh as he did so, and the look Arthur gave him went straight to his dick.

"Do you think Gwaine and Percy will get it together?" Arthur asked as they walked toward their block of flats.

"I saw them talking at the bar when we were leaving," Merlin said. "They looked quite close."

"Good. Now I won't have to listen to Gwaine pining anymore."

Merlin chuckled. "Yeah, he was quite hung up on Percy, wasn't he?"

Arthur glanced over at him. "Did he tell you that?"

"Yeah." Merlin looked up at the sky, not sure what he should or shouldn't share about what had happened between him and Gwaine. "Pretty early on. We were never serious, it was just, um…"

"I know." Arthur's hand brushed against Merlin's. "Sorry," he said, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"Yes, how dare you touch me. You know I find you repulsive."

Arthur sniggered and Merlin bit down a smile.

They walked in silence for a little while until Arthur said, "Gwaine seemed to think I was pining after you, as well."

"Oh? Were you not?"

"Nah. I find you just as repulsive."

Merlin knocked his shoulder into Arthur's. "We're a good match, then."

"Should be able to work it out, yeah."

When they reached their building, Merlin led the way into the east tower and up to the 15th floor. The lift ride was awkward with Arthur stood against the back wall, arms crossed and looking uncomfortable.

Maybe he was having second thoughts.

Merlin tried not to lose hope. They reached his flat and he unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Arthur stayed out in the hall.

"Do you want to come in?" Merlin asked, bracing himself for rejection. Maybe Arthur had sobered up on the way home and realised he'd never wanted Merlin after all.

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked. "I don't want to… impose."

"I'm sure," Merlin said quietly. "If you want."

"Well, yeah, I mean, obviously I want, but—"

"Then come in," Merlin said, rolling his eyes. He grabbed Arthur's hand and tugged him into the flat. "Idiot," he muttered before pulling Arthur in for a kiss.

"Rude," Arthur said, reaching out behind him to close the door.

Merlin smirked and licked across Arthur's lower lip. "Can I get you anything?"

Arthur shook his head.

"Okay," Merlin whispered. Keeping Arthur's hand in his, he led the way to his room.

He was pretty sure Freya would go back to Leon's after they got out of the club, but he closed the door just in case Aithusa woke up from wherever she was sleeping and decided to come investigate.

The room fell into darkness when the door closed, and it took Merlin's eyes a minute to adjust to the weak light coming in through the windows. He found Arthur sitting on the edge of his bed, watching him.

Merlin unbuttoned his shirt a little, letting his neck breathe. Then he pushed Arthur down and crawled on top, kissing him senseless.

The dark gave them solitude, privacy, and it gave Merlin more courage. He grabbed one of Arthur's hands and laced their fingers together as he pressed it into the bed. Arthur touched Merlin's jaw with his free hand and Merlin moaned, trying to get closer, trying to get _everything_. Arthur's scent was everywhere and Merlin just wanted to shove his face into Arthur's hair, or Arthur's neck, or Arthur's shirt, and just breathe it in. His head spun with the memory of doing just that back at the Canadian club and of how that had nearly ruined their chances of doing this.

But they were doing this, and Arthur was moving his hand to the back of Merlin's neck, and licking into Merlin's mouth, and pressing his hips up against Merlin, and Merlin could barely think through the haze of _yes, more_.

"Okay," Merlin said when he managed to pull back. "Up near the pillows."

"What?" Arthur asked, running his hand over Merlin's hair.

"Up," Merlin said, rolling to the side so Arthur could move. "Sit near the pillows."

Arthur obeyed and Merlin climbed back on top of him immediately, rolling his hips against Arthur's as best he could.

"Merlin," Arthur said shakily.

Merlin could feel how hard Arthur was through his jeans. He wanted to see Arthur come.

"Yeah," Merlin said, pressing himself harder into Arthur's crotch. "This okay?"

Arthur nodded and pulled Merlin in for a rough kiss. He still tasted like cheap beer, and a little like whatever cocktail he'd been drinking when Merlin had first arrived at the club, but his lips were incredible. They were wide and plump, and Merlin just wanted to devour them.

Arthur started lifting his hips against Merlin's, thrusting up in short, jerky movements. Merlin wondered if that meant he was close. Fuck, _he_ was close again. He could feel Arthur's dick against his own in this position, could rub himself along it, could get it just the way wanted.

"Merlin," Arthur said, his voice strained. "I'm…" He exhaled shakily, wrapping an arm around Merlin's back. "Getting close."

"Yeah," Merlin agreed. "I'm practically drooling in my pants."

Arthur looked surprised for a moment, and then his expression tensed and he let out a low groan, jerking under Merlin.

Merlin continued rolling his hips, working Arthur through it and getting himself closer.

"God," Arthur said, slumping a little and thunking his head against the headboard. "Christ, Merlin."

"Should I stop?" Merlin asked, desperate not to.

Arthur shook his head and reached around to grip Merlin's arse. He pulled Merlin against himself, gasping at the pressure, and Merlin came with a whimper, his body shivering.

"Fuck," he muttered, leaning back. He was still so wound up. The friction of their jeans against his dick was good, but it wasn't nearly the same sensation as a hand. He'd come twice, but both times the orgasms had been shallow, unfulfilling even. His cock was still pulsing, and he needed more.

Arthur pulled him close for a kiss. It was lazy at first, but then the urgency kicked back in for Merlin.

"Arthur," he whispered, grateful for the darkness. He pressed their foreheads together. "I need to come again."

Arthur chuckled. "Need?"

"Yeah. Grinding is… ineffective. At least in this position."

Arthur grinned and licked into Merlin's mouth. "Okay," he said. "Can I help?"

"Just sit there and look pretty." Merlin got off the bed and shucked out of his jeans quickly before settling back on Arthur's lap.

Arthur ran his hands up Merlin's thighs, pushing his fingers under the hems of Merlin's boxer briefs.

Merlin sighed and, damning how utterly ridiculous the entire situation was, reached into his pants to rub his dick. Arthur looked rapt, his mouth hanging open a little as he watched.

"My eyes are up here," Merlin teased.

Arthur surged up for a kiss. He got his legs under him and tipped Merlin backward onto the bed. Before Merlin could say anything, Arthur was kissing his neck, and all Merlin could get out was a moan. He stroked himself faster and turned his head away, giving Arthur access to more skin.

"Oh," Merlin breathed when he felt it building again, "God." He reached out blindly with his free hand and found Arthur's back. He grabbed a fistful of Arthur's shirt, trying to anchor himself. This one was starting down in his toes—his entire body was shaking with it, ready for something better than what he'd had before—and his head was spinning already.

Arthur reached down and cupped Merlin's hand through his pants, adding more pressure to his dick, and he started to come.

"Fuck," he moaned, unable to keep himself quiet. "Jesus. Shit, _fuck_. God…" He squirmed, his shoulders curling up off the bed as it wracked through him, and Arthur groaned low in his ear.

"God _damn_ ," Merlin managed when he started coming down. "Fuck, sorry." He swallowed dryly, sobering to how desperate he'd just been in front of Arthur, and to how much he'd lost himself in that orgasm, and to the ridiculous noises he'd made.

"What the hell are you apologising for?" Arthur asked, moving his hand to Merlin's thigh and giving it a squeeze.

"I don't know."

Arthur chuckled and pressed a kiss to Merlin's cheek and then his lips. "That's twice now you've apologised for coming, and I'm going to need you to know that I thoroughly enjoyed it both times, and that I hope to enjoy it many more times very soon. I'm not sorry about that, and you shouldn't be either."

"So polite," Merlin teased.

Arthur hummed in agreement and rested his head on Merlin's chest. Merlin ran his fingers through Arthur's hair, marvelling at the fact that he could do that without the excuse of Arthur's anti-anxiety medication.

"Merlin," Arthur said after a while.

"Yeah?"

"I can't stay awake much longer."

"No," Merlin agreed. "Do you want to stay here?"

"That would be easiest."

"And so logical."

Arthur took a deep breath and sat up. "Can I, uh… borrow a clean pair of pants?" he asked, blushing prettily.

"Yeah, definitely." Merlin forced himself to sit up as well. "I need some, too."

Arthur pressed a kiss to Merlin's shoulder. "I like this shirt," he said. "Very trendy."

"I like yours, too. Might have stretched it out a bit, though."

Arthur chuckled. "I'm not bothered."

Merlin turned his head for a proper kiss. "Help me up? I've got, like, zero strength in my legs right now."

Arthur grinned and rolled off the bed. He held out his hands, tugging Merlin to his feet as well.

"Thanks." Merlin gave Arthur a quick kiss. "Pants?"

"Yes, please."

Merlin dug through his bureau until he found a pair he thought might fit Arthur.

While Arthur changed across the hall, Merlin unbuttoned and shrugged out of his shirt, which was damp with sweat pretty much everywhere. He wanted to go straight to bed—he wanted to cuddle with Arthur—but the more he thought about it, the more disgusting he felt. Dancing at the club had been one thing, but he'd come in his pants three times, and putting on a fresh pair wasn't going to help all that much.

Merlin gave Arthur a long kiss when he came back and directed him to get into bed.

"I'm going to take a quick shower," he explained, pulling briefs and a t-shirt out of his bureau. "Don't wait up for me."

He hurried across the hall and rinsed off as quickly as he could, and Arthur was still mostly awake when he climbed into bed.

"I should have showered," Arthur mumbled. "I'm getting club stink all over your sheets."

"I don't care." Merlin kissed Arthur's shoulder, which he found bare under the covers. "Do you want a shirt?"

"Nope." Arthur rolled onto his side and gave Merlin a long, slow kiss. "Thanks for tonight," he whispered. "This is the best Leon's birthday I've ever had."

Merlin grinned and kissed the tip of Arthur's nose. "Same."

Arthur ran his fingers through Merlin's wet hair and then let his arm flop down on the bed. "Okay, sleep time."

"Yes," Merlin agreed. "Very sleep time."

Arthur smiled and closed his eyes, curling up on his side. "G'night."

Merlin pressed a kiss to Arthur's hair and then rolled over and fell asleep within seconds.

~

Merlin woke up to the sound of Aithusa scratching at his door and making a lot of pathetic noises.

"Shush," he called out.

"Hm?"

Merlin turned his head to see Arthur lying next to him.

"Oh," Merlin said, his stomach rolling as everything from the night before flashed in his mind.

Arthur groaned and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Dunno. Need to take Aithusa out."

Arthur nodded, yawning.

"Go back to sleep." Merlin rolled closer to plant a kiss on Arthur's shoulder.

Arthur mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, 'I'll miss you.'

Grinning dopily, Merlin got up and pulled on a pair of joggers. He took Aithusa outside without her lead and leaned against the block of flats as she zoomed around the grass.

Merlin had no idea what he was doing with Arthur. The previous night was a blur of Arthur hitting on him, Arthur grinding on him, Arthur coming under him, Arthur pressed against him as he made himself come.

He didn't have a plan. He didn't know what Arthur wanted. He didn't know if he could handle compromising on what he wanted, not now that he knew how good it could be.

Eventually Aithusa trotted back to him, snorting happily, and Merlin scooped her up and carried her back up to his flat. He replaced the water in her bowl and set out a bit of food, and then he crawled back into bed.

"Hey," Arthur said, scooting over and curling himself around Merlin's back. He draped an arm over Merlin's chest, and Merlin held onto his hand.

"Hi. Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah." Arthur tucked his head between Merlin's shoulder blades. "Did you?"

"Mhm."

Arthur didn't say anything else, and after a few minutes Merlin heard his breathing evening out as he fell back asleep.

Merlin wanted to go back to sleep as well. He was too sober to deal with the ache in his stomach or the fact that he was cuddling with _Arthur_. But he'd already got up, got dressed, and gone all the way outside. He was awake.

And he was terrified. He had no idea what was going to happen when Arthur finally woke up properly. Arthur had said, as they'd started dancing in the club the night before, that they would talk 'later,' but all they'd done was sweat all over each other and make a mess in their pants.

Merlin felt himself getting warmer as he remembered how obscene he'd been the night before—coming at the club, coming in Arthur's lap, demanding to get to come again immediately after. He'd been so turned on and so needy, and he'd really been carried away.

Arthur hadn't seemed to mind.

Merlin knew that was a gross understatement. Arthur had loved it and had even said as much.

But Merlin needed more. He couldn't go through another sex-fuelled fling like he'd done with Gwaine. Especially not with Arthur.

"Merlin," Arthur mumbled. "Relax."

"What?"

"You're so tense." Arthur tightened his hold. "Relax. It's too early to stress."

Merlin took a deep breath and brushed his thumb over the back of Arthur's hand, trying to think of something, anything else.

"Okay," Arthur said a minute later. "Guess it's not too early."

"Sorry," Merlin whispered. "Go back to sleep. I'm fine."

Arthur nuzzled the back of his neck. "I'm awake." He pressed a dry kiss to Merlin's skin. "Last night was great."

Merlin murmured his agreement.

"I've wanted to shag you silly for so long. You have no idea what your arms do to me."

"My arms?"

Arthur pulled his hand out of Merlin's grip and trailed his fingers up and down Merlin's bicep. "Yeah. Been admiring them at the gym since the first time I saw you."

Merlin licked his lips, trying to control his smile. "Oh?"

"Mhm." Arthur shifted up to kiss Merlin's cheek. "Now, what are you so worried about?"

Merlin closed his eyes. "I… am also quite keen on the idea of you shagging me silly."

"Good. But?"

"But… but I can't get involved with you if that's all it's going to be."

Arthur shifted away, and Merlin turned his face into the pillow, madly hoping there was a way to salvage this.

"Hey," Arthur said, tugging on Merlin's shoulder until he rolled onto his back. "That's not all it's going to be."

Arthur looked ridiculous. His hair was sticking up at every angle, he had pillow lines all over his face, and his lips were cracked.

Merlin wanted him so badly.

"Or, I guess I can't promise what it's going to be, but that's not all that I want."

"No?"

"No." Arthur reached for his hand and entwined their fingers. "I want all of you. The shagging, yes, and everything else as well." He pressed a kiss to the back of Merlin's hand. "Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah," Merlin said, grinning so wide his cheeks hurt. He turned onto his side and flung an arm and a leg over Arthur. "Are you hungry?" he asked, tucking his head against Arthur's neck.

"Very, but you've just made getting out of bed an exceptionally unappealing prospect."

Merlin chuckled and shifted closer. He felt Arthur's hard cock pressing into his stomach and slid his hand down to stroke it through Arthur's briefs.

"Careful," Arthur said, "or you'll make me ruin another pair of pants."

Merlin smirked and kissed up his jaw. "Are you asking me to stop?"

"Not at all."

Merlin pushed at Arthur's chest, and he rolled onto his back. Sucking and licking at Arthur's neck, Merlin slipped his hand into Arthur's briefs to properly jerk him off. Arthur inhaled sharply and wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulders, holding him close.

Arthur's dick was stiff and hot to the touch and smooth under Merlin's fingertips. Merlin stroked it firmly, loving the drag and wanting to never let go.

"Merlin," Arthur groaned when Merlin sped up his hand. "Slow down."

"You like it slow?" Merlin asked against Arthur's collar bone, gripping his dick a little harder. There was a sharp longing in his stomach, and he wanted to get closer and make Arthur feel as good as he had felt the night before and have Arthur completely fall apart in his arms.

"No," Arthur said, shifting his hips. "But you're—" He grunted and dug his fingers into Merlin's shoulder.

"Going to make you come?"

Arthur nodded, his jaw tight.

"Definitely wouldn't want that," Merlin teased. He twisted his hand over the head of Arthur's cock, and Arthur bowed, his back arching off the bed as he came.

"Ah," he moaned, turning his head away with his eyes squeezed shut. "Ah, shit."

Merlin grinned and nipped at Arthur's collar bone, gradually slowing his hand down until he was just loosely holding Arthur's dick.

"I'd kiss you," Arthur said as he slumped back onto the bed, "but I taste terrible."

Merlin laughed and kissed Arthur's shoulder's instead. "Me, too."

Arthur sighed and ran a hand through Merlin's hair. "My turn?"

"Nope." Melin pulled his hand out and wiped it on Arthur's stomach. "Breakfast's turn."

"Are you sure?" Arthur reached for Merlin's thigh. "I want—"

"Later," Merlin promised. He was hot and wet, and he did want Arthur to touch him _all over_. But, even though he'd been extremely shameless the night before, he needed more time before he felt comfortable getting back to that place in front of Arthur in the morning light.

Merlin sat up and looked down at the mess they'd made. "Another pair of pants?" he offered.

Arthur propped himself up on his elbows, chuckling. "I guess, yeah. Could I possibly use your shower?"

"'Course. Just let me get some towels." Merlin leaned down to give Arthur's shoulder another kiss before going into the bathroom.

He cleaned his teeth quickly and then set out some clean towels on the edge of the sink.

"Okay," he said, sticking his head back into his room. "It's all yours. I think I might have ingredients to make omelettes."

Arthur rolled off the bed and came over to kiss Merlin's cheek. "If you wait for me, I can help."

"Don't really need help making an omelette," Merlin said.

"Fair." Arthur gave Merlin's side a squeeze before stepping past Merlin and into the bathroom.

Merlin went to the kitchen to inspect the contents of his fridge, and by the time Arthur joined him, he had two omelettes set out and some slices of bread in the toaster.

"This looks great," Arthur said, stepping up behind Merlin and wrapping his arms around Merlin's middle.

"Probably should have asked if you had any allergies."

Arthur chuckled. "Maybe. Luckily, I don't." He turned Merlin around and moved in for a kiss. "Good morning."

"Morning," Merlin said grinning. He wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck and kissed Arthur again. "How was your shower?"

"Very adequate."

"That's a weird answer."

Arthur shrugged. "It was a shower," he said, stepping away with a grin. "How do you think it was?"

Merlin rolled his eyes and handed over one of the omelettes. "Hopefully your breakfast is also adequate."

"I'm sure it will be perfectly satisfactory." Arthur gave him a peck. "Thank you for making it."

"It's the least I could do. Especially since I think I forgot to get you more pants."

Arthur shrugged and took his plate out to the dining table. "There are worse things than going commando."

Merlin joined him. "Such as?"

"Going commando."

Merlin shook his head and dug into his omelette. "Are you aware of how often you don't make any sense?"

"Exquisitely."

"Good. Just checking."

Arthur winked, which was ridiculous, and Merlin rolled his eyes again.

"How was your week?" Arthur asked after he'd taken a few bites.

Merlin frowned down at his plate, realising they hadn't had a proper conversation since their trip to Canada.

"Good. Productive. I got hired by another studio. It's a lot of work, but it's actually kind of nice to be able to switch between that and the stuff for Avalon. Makes it harder to get bored."

"What's the new project?"

Merlin started explaining about the different worlds of the fighting game he'd started working on. Arthur kept asking questions, apparently eager to know the inner workings of Merlin's job, and before Merlin knew it, they'd been sitting at the table for an hour.

"Did you want tea?" Merlin asked, leaning back in his chair and stretching his legs out under the table. "I forgot to make some."

"Maybe in a bit," Arthur said, taking great care to centre his plate on the placemat.

Merlin watched, amused, but then he felt something knock against his foot. He kicked at it, expecting it to be Aithusa, but all he made contact with was Arthur's leg.

He was about to apologise when he saw Arthur going red, still working on the plate arrangement, and felt another knock against his ankle.

Merlin slid lower in his chair and brushed the side of his foot along Arthur's.

"How about more toast?" he asked casually.

Arthur shook his head, his gaze still firmly on the plate as if somehow he could trick Merlin into thinking it wasn't him doing that under the table if he didn't acknowledge what was happening.

Merlin dragged his foot up Arthur's leg until he could press it right into Arthur's crotch.

Arthur laughed and pushed Merlin's foot away, finally looking up. "Can I help clear the dishes?"

Merlin shrugged and watched from his seat as Arthur collected their plates and brought them into the kitchen. He expected Arthur to just dump them in the sink, but after a moment he heard the tap running because apparently Arthur was actually going to clean them by hand.

"You don't have to do that," he called out.

"Come and stop me, then."

Merlin grinned and got slowly to his feet, taking his time to push in his and Arthur's chairs before going back to the kitchen. He leaned in the doorway and watched as Arthur dried the plates and set them on the counter to be put away.

"Thanks. You really didn't have to."

Arthur shrugged and dried his hands before walking over for a kiss. "I don't mind. You put in more work making the food."

Before Merlin could respond, Arthur had pushed him against the door frame and was kissing him heartily. Merlin gripped Arthur's hips, pulling them against his own. He nipped at Arthur's lips, and Arthur cupped his face, both of them trying to get as much of each other as possible.

"You've really no idea what you do to me," Arthur murmured against Merlin's lips.

"Tell me."

"I can show you." Arthur moved Merlin's hand from his hip to the hard outline of his cock in his jeans.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Would you like a presentation? Maybe a song and dance?"

"Yes," Merlin said emphatically. "I would love to see that, actually."

Arthur chuckled, shaking his head. He kissed down Merlin's neck, tugging at the neckline of his shirt to continue kissing down his shoulder.

"We should have less clothes," he said, sliding his hands under Merlin's shirt and along Merlin's back. "Unless you just _really_ fancy doing laundry all the time."

"Not really." Merlin pulled his shirt off, followed by Arthur's.

"That's better," Arthur said and immediately went back to kissing along Merlin's shoulder. He continued down Merlin's bicep, flicking his tongue against the tattoo there, and then pulled Merlin's hand up to his own shoulder so he could continue pressing kisses to Merlin's forearm.

"So, like… you weren't kidding about my arms, were you?"

"Not even a little." Arthur bit Merlin's thumb playfully and then moved in closer to nip at his shoulder.

Merlin shuddered a little and gripped Arthur's hair, tugging until he let out a groan. Arthur trailed his lips up Merlin's neck and went in for a long kiss.

When they broke apart, Merlin brushed a thumb over Arthur's nipple, his other hand working to undo Arthur's flies.

"I thought it was my turn," Arthur said, holding Merlin's wrist still.

"Let me." Merlin flicked his tongue into Arthur's ear, and Arthur let go of his hand.

Merlin pushed Arthur's jeans down to his thighs and pulled slowly on his dick, taking time to build up a rhythm and occasionally interrupting it by reaching lower to tug on his balls. Arthur just breathed against Merlin's ear, his breath hitching whenever Merlin did something he really liked, and the sounds he was making were driving Merlin mad.

"Okay," Arthur said after a while, pushing Merlin's hand away. He pulled on the drawstrings of Merlin's joggers. "May I touch you?"

Biting down a laugh at the very polite question, Merlin nodded.

Arthur pulled his jeans back up, tucked himself in, and then got his hand in Merlin's pants. He grabbed Merlin's hair at the same time, giving Merlin a rough kiss as his fingers fumbled.

Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck and gave a moan of encouragement. Arthur dragged two fingers along Merlin's front, getting them wet, and then moved up to stroke them along Merlin's dick.

"Yeah," Merlin groaned when Arthur started moving faster. He was so turned on that any touch would have done, but Arthur had already found a rhythm that worked. "That's good."

Arthur ducked his head to kiss along Merlin's collar bones. "Do you—if… can you show me what you like?"

Merlin scratched his fingernails across the back of Arthur's neck, and Arthur moaned, pressing closer for a moment.

"I want…" Arthur looked up, meeting Merlin's eyes. "I want to know what you like."

Merlin nodded, biting his lip. He covered Arthur's hand with his own, moving Arthur's fingers near the head of his cock. Arthur caught on quickly, switching between slow circles and quicker, rougher strokes until Merlin's legs were shaking. It wasn't enough to make him come, but it felt incredible. Arthur's dick was jerking against his thigh, and he just wanted to stay there, doing this and only this for the rest of the day.

But, sooner or later—and probably sooner if Arthur had any say in the matter—his legs were going to give out completely.

"Can we—" Merlin shivered as Arthur licked up the side of his neck. "My bed, or the sofa, or, like, a chair? Just—"

"Yeah," Arthur agreed quickly. He stepped back, pulling his hand out of Merlin's joggers. "Bed?"

Merlin nodded and tugged Arthur into his room.

Aithusa was on his bed, staring out the windows. She gave a low _ruff_ when they came in, her tail wagging excitedly.

"Sorry," Merlin said, moving her quickly to the floor. "I'll play with you later, I promise." He scooted her gently out into the hall and closed the door, locking it for good measure.

When he turned back around, Arthur pulled him in for a kiss and then tucked his fingers in the waistband of Merlin's joggers and pushed them down a little. Merlin took the hint and stepped out of them.

Arthur stared at him, and Merlin frowned.

"What?" he asked, trying not to roll his eyes. Surely Arthur had been at least a _little_ prepared for this moment.

Arthur cupped his face and bit his lower lip. "You're gorgeous."

Merlin snorted. "Prove it."

Arthur grinned and shoved his jeans to the ground before tugging Merlin onto the bed with him. He pushed Merlin down and, licking across his nipple, started jerking him off again.

Merlin sighed and tangled his fingers in Arthur's hair. He closed his eyes, breathing slowly as Arthur built up speed.

He couldn't seem to build up another rhythm, though. Every time he fell into something that pushed Merlin closer to an orgasm, his fingers would falter or he would change his stroke, and it wasn't long before Merlin was trembling all over from how fucking close Arthur had pushed him over and over and over again.

"Do you want me to use my mouth?" Arthur asked against Merlin's ear.

Merlin shook his head. He just wanted to come.

Arthur paused to flex his wrist, and Merlin flushed at how his entire hand was wet.

"Come here," he said softly, tugging at Arthur's hair.

Arthur let Merlin him pull him in for a long kiss. Merlin reached down to try to finish himself off, and Arthur gripped his thigh tightly.

"What can I do?"

"Watch," Merlin whispered. He closed his eyes, not ready to see Arthur's reaction to that, and rubbed his dick harder.

Arthur shifted and Merlin opened his eyes to see Arthur sitting at his side, one hand still on his thigh and the other on his own cock. He was watching dutifully and biting his lip, stroking himself so slowly that Merlin could tell he was struggling to hold back.

The sight went straight to Merlin's dick, and he gasped as the muscles in his legs tensed.

"Fuck," Arthur moaned. He leaned down to press a kiss to the back of Merlin's hand, and Merlin groaned.

He was so ready. He'd been so close for so long, and Arthur was more than enjoying the show he was putting on, and he was _so_ ready.

Merlin let out a low, broken moan as he started to come in pulsing waves. He flung out his free hand and gripped Arthur's thigh, his heart swelling. Arthur seemed to understand because he leaned down quickly for a kiss, the sounds of Merlin's pleasure muffled against his lip.

"That was nice," Arthur said, even as Merlin was still jerking underneath him.

"Nice?" Merlin asked breathlessly. He gave his dick a few more strokes, and his hips jerked from the overstimulation. It felt good, though, so he did it again, more lightly, until it the sensation faded.

"Nice," Arthur repeated. "Naughty, illicit, and erotic."

"You forgot the 'c,'" Merlin pointed out.

"Couldn't think of anything. Cock-tastic?"

Merlin shook his head and shifted up for a kiss. "That's really special."

Arthur grinned and gave a teasing lick across Merlin's lower lip. "Thank you."

Merlin played with Arthur's hair for a moment, still catching his breath, and then he sat up.

"Any requests?" he asked, reaching for Arthur's dick.

"No, just—"

Merlin pushed Arthur onto his back and started kissing down his chest. When he flicked his tongue against Arthur's navel, Arthur grabbed at his hair until he looked up.

"Are you sure?"

"Hm." Merlin stroked his chin, pretending to reconsider. "No," he decided. "I'm not sure I want to put my mouth anywhere near a man who says 'cock-tastic.'"

"Luckily for you, I don't know of such a man. I think you're in the clear."

Merlin smirked and scooted down the bed until he could lick and nip at Arthur's inner thighs. Arthur was breathing heavily, his breath catching in his throat every time Merlin bit a little harder or moved up a little closer to his cock, which was leaking and twitching with each of Merlin's kisses. Merlin could have gone on with the slow tease for days, but eventually he relented and sank his mouth around Arthur's dick.

He took a deep breath through his nose, and underneath the scent of his own soap was the scent of _Arthur_ , close and strong and dizzying.

Merlin pulled off slowly, enjoying Arthur's shuddering breaths, and then sucked briefly on the head of his cock.

Arthur sighed when Merlin moved down to lick up the seam of his balls and then moaned when Merlin licked wetly up the length of his cock. Merlin repeated the lick a few times, sometimes going slow, sometimes going fast, and then he took Arthur's whole dick into his mouth again.

Arthur hissed, his body twitching, and Merlin glanced up to see him flushed, his head pressed back into the pillow and his hands fisted in the sheets. Merlin's cock twitched at the sight.

"What was that acronym again?" Merlin asked, looking up at the ceiling like it could be written up there.

"Oh my _God_ ," Arthur groaned, lifting his hips. "You are—mmph!" He moved one hand to Merlin's shoulder as Merlin started sucking him in earnest.

His body went taut slowly, first his back and then his hips arching off the bed as Merlin worked him over. He was letting out choked-off sounds, his hands gripping the sheets so hard Merlin thought something might rip.

Merlin pulled off again, replacing his mouth with his hand and taking a look at the state of Arthur. He was beautiful, red all down his neck and chest, and his hips were curved up so far from the bed that Merlin thought he might appreciate a pillow under them.

Not that Merlin was going oblige.

He pushed down on Arthur's hips, trapping him to the bed, and started flicking his tongue against the underside of the head of his cock.

"Merlin," Arthur warned in a wrecked voice, but he was already coming.

Merlin sucked him through it, humming encouragements, and then, once he'd started getting soft, licked up the bit of come that had gotten on his stomach.

"Jesus Christ," Arthur muttered. He flung one arm over his eyes and reached down with his other hand to give his cock a few last tugs.

Merlin watched as Arthur practically melted into a puddle on his bed and debated if he wanted to try to come again.

"Hey," he said as he lay down next to Arthur. "Want to try something?"

"Hm?" Arthur lifted his arm enough to peek at Merlin. "What kind of something?"

"A cock-tastic kind of something."

Arthur groaned and rolled over for a kiss. "You're impossible."

"I did not come up with that," Merlin reminded him.

"No, but I only said it once, and you've said it five more times."

"Just, like, twice, I think."

Arthur shook his head, his lips twisted to the side, and Merlin gave him a peck.

"So, what's the something?" Arthur asked, folding his arm under his head.

"I'll give you one guess."

Arthur frowned and then looked down just in time to see Merlin rubbing his dick again.

"Can I—"

"Nope. You're part two."

"What's part two? What's part one?"

"This, obviously." Merlin moved his hand lower and pushed his fingers into his front, curling them to find his G-spot. Arthur's eyebrows shot up and he shifted down a little to watch more closely. "Fuck, Arthur," Merlin breathed as his toes started curling. Arthur looked at Merlin like he was about to devour him, and it made Merlin hot all over.

When Merlin pulled out his fingers and resumed tugging on his cock, Arthur moved back up and pinched one of his nipples.

"Ah," Merlin moaned, his dick pulsing. "Yeah, do that."

Arthur pinched him again and rolled closer to suck on his other nipple.

"Okay," Merlin said shakily when it got to be too much. "Part two."

Arthur looked up. He gave Merlin's nipple a tweak, and Merlin inhaled sharply.

"What's part two?"

"Your turn." Merlin slowed his fingers down and then moved his hand away. "Make me come."

Arthur muffled a groan against Merlin's chest and reached for Merlin's dick. His rubbed his fingers in sharp, quick circles near the head of Merlin's cock, and Merlin came only a few seconds later. Arthur kissed him as he rode it out, and he panted against Arthur's lips until he slumped back on the bed, limp and satisfied.

Arthur kept his hand on Merlin's dick, just resting his fingers against it, and Merlin grinned. It felt intimate. It felt like Arthur was staking his claim.

"How was that?" Arthur asked eventually.

"So good."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." Merlin stretched and Arthur finally pulled his hand away.

"Can I ask… um. Can I ask you some questions?" Arthur asked, rolling onto his stomach and looking up at Merlin with a shy smile. "I don't know if they're okay, but…"

"I'll try not to be too offended," Merlin said, bracing himself but hoping for the best.

Arthur licked his lips. "I wanted to know, like… what words you use. For yourself."

"Like—"

"Like, I have a cock and… and, well, an arse, but that's about it," Arthur said. He'd gone red, but he wasn't looking away from Merlin's gaze.

"Cock's fine. I think I have a slight preference for dick, but either one, really."

Arthur nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

Merlin grinned and reached out to pet Arthur's hair. "Thank you for asking. Plenty of guys never bother."

Arthur frowned. "Really? That's…"

"Yeah." Merlin shrugged. "I mean, I usually tell them, anyway, since I'm not trying to have a bad time, but yeah. I'm not with them, though."

Arthur smiled, looking pleased. "No," he agreed. "You're not."

Merlin dropped his hand to Arthur's shoulder. "The rest I usually just call the front. Um… sometimes if I'm, like, especially turned on I might call it my cunt, but… mostly just the front."

Arthur nodded and shifted up for a kiss before turning onto his side and curling an arm around Merlin's chest.

"And you—I mean, this isn't something we have to negotiate in detail right now, so feel free to ignore me, but you, like, prefer just… handjobs, I guess?"

Merlin put his hand on Arthur's arm and drifted his fingers up from Arthur's wrist to his elbow.

"I prefer everything. I just take it more slowly."

"And… what exactly is included in 'everything?'"

"Everything," Merlin said, smiling. "You can definitely fuck me in the arse any time you want. Or I could fuck you, if you like."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I've got a whole drawer full of dicks ready to make friends with your bum."

Arthur chuckled and pressed a kiss to Merlin's shoulder. "I think we could set up a play date."

"I'll pencil you in."

"Gee, thanks."

Merlin grinned and laced his fingers with Arthur's, resting their hands over his chest. "And… well, eventually I'd be _very_ interested in you fucking me in the front. And, uh… yeah. Blowjobs as well."

Arthur gave Merlin's hand a squeeze. "I am so on board with this plan."

Merlin turned onto his side and kissed Arthur hard. "What about you?" he asked, wrapping an arm around Arthur's back.

"What about me?"

"What do you prefer?"

"The blowjob was very good," Arthur said like he was complimenting a particularly nice meal.

Merlin laughed. "Thanks. Happy to help."

Arthur reached up between them to brush his thumb over Merlin's lips. "And I'd be very interested in your collection of dicks. My arse has been quite lonely and could use some new friends. Tall, dark, and handsome ones, especially."

"Tall, dark, and handsome dildos," Merlin said thoughtfully. "I don't think I'd watch that series."

"Would you listen to the album, though?"

"Oh, of course. No question."

Arthur grinned and gave Merlin a peck. "You're a silly man."

"Need I remind you of 'cock-tastic?'"

"Please, no," Arthur groaned, tucking his face against Merlin's neck. "Literally never again need you remind me of that."

"I disagree. I think I'll set an alarm on my mobile so I can remind you about it every day. Would 3pm work for you?"

"No," Arthur said, his voice muffled against Merlin's skin. "I'm busy then."

"Every day?"

"Yes. I'm busy 24/7 from now on. I won't be able to take your calls. I have very important work to be doing."

"Have you considered working on a cock-tastic prosthetic dick?"

Arthur groaned and Merlin laughed, holding him tight.

"What do you want to do the rest of the day?"

"Sleep," Arthur said after a pause.

"Not a bad idea. Hold on." Merlin sat up to grab the top sheet that was scrunched up in one corner of the bed. He lay back down, covering both of them with it, and snuggled up to Arthur again. "Good?"

Arthur made a soft noise of assent. Merlin pressed a kiss to Arthur's forehead and closed his eyes, marvelling at how just 24 hours earlier he'd been at brunch with Freya and Leon, thinking that he might never be able to repair his friendship with Arthur. Now they were curled together on a lazy Sunday afternoon after a late night and morning of starting to build something that might be better than any friendship they could have salvaged.

~

They woke up when it started thundering. Arthur jolted at the first rumble and then laughed, pulling Merlin's arm over him and burrowing closer until his face was pressed into Merlin's armpit.

"That can't smell good," Merlin mumbled.

"No," Arthur confirmed.

Merlin rolled them over so that Arthur was on his back and Merlin was draped over him.

"I feel… sticky," Merlin said slowly.

Arthur laughed and wrapped his arms around Merlin's back. "Yeah, I could stand another shower."

Merlin cocked up one eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Don't think we're supposed to when it's storming, though. Right?"

"Right. Shame."

Arthur smirked. He reached out and traced a fingertip down Merlin's nose and then tapped Merlin's lips. "What do you have going on the rest of the day?"

"Literally nothing. I was thinking about making some soup for the week, but that's it."

"Mm. What kind of soup?"

"Dunno. Do you want some?"

"Sort of. Seems like good soup weather."

Merlin smiled and moved up for a slow kiss. "I suppose I could make some."

"I can help," Arthur offered, pushing Merlin's hair off his face. "I'm only _mostly_ useless in the kitchen."

Merlin nipped at Arthur's chin before rolling out of the bed.

"Okay, he said, stifling a yawn. "I call dibs on the bathroom, and then we can make soup."

Arthur murmured his agreement, although he looked like he was about to fall back asleep. Merlin leaned down to kiss his shoulder and then grabbed some clean clothes and went across the hall to try to clean himself up.

Arthur joined him in the kitchen a while later, stepping up behind him and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.

"I borrowed some more pants," he said.

"Good. I know you hate going commando as much as you love going commando."

Arthur chuckled and gave Merlin's neck another kiss before moving away. "How can I help?"

Merlin set Arthur to work chopping some vegetables, and soon enough the soup was simmering on the cooker.

"The longer we wait, the better it will be," Merlin said, setting a lid on top of the pot. "Do you want anything in the meantime?"

"Could I trouble you for some tea? I think I need caffeine."

"Excellent idea." Merlin put the kettle on and then tugged Arthur in for a kiss. "Do you want to play a game?"

Arthur's face lit up. "Yeah. What are you interested in?"

"You said you haven't played _Aithusa_ , right?"

"Right. Speaking of, where is she?" Arthur glanced around.

"Probably hiding under Freya's bed. She doesn't love thunder."

"Poor thing."

Merlin kissed the tip of Arthur's nose. "Should we go find her?"

Arthur nodded and Merlin led him into Freya's room, where Aithusa was curled up under the bed with several pairs of socks.

"Oh, you sad little thing," Merlin said, coaxing her out. He picked her up and rubbed her back. "You're all right. Come on."

Merlin and Arthur settled down on the living room sofa with Aithusa tucked safely between them, and Merlin set up their game.

"Does she have one of those dog shirts?" Arthur asked, scratching around Aithusa's ears.

"What?"

"Don't they make shirts for dogs to wear when they're scared?"

"Oh, yeah." Merlin gave Aithusa's rear end a pat. "We did have one for her, but it got lost somewhere along the line, and we kept forgetting to get a new one."

"We?"

Merlin glanced down at his controller. "Me and Elyan."

"Oh," Arthur said quietly. "How'd you end up being the one who kept her?"

"She was sort of a consolation prize," Merlin admitted. "Lost the boy, got the dog."

"At least she won't leave you."

Merlin snorted. "I should hope not." He passed Arthur the other controller. "Here, you can be the Dragonlord."

"What about you?"

"How much do you know about this game?"

"I know it's about dragons. And… um… more dragons."

Merlin chuckled. "Alright. You'll see, then."

They started up the game and went through the introductory scenes, which Merlin knew were mostly red herrings.

"Wait," Arthur said slowly when the gameplay started. "What the hell was all of that?"

"Hm?"

"That was a whole… fantasy set-up, but now we're in a fucking lab."

"Yup." Merlin walked his character into the sightline for Arthur's character.

"What the fuck is that?" Arthur asked, leaning closer to get a better look at the screen.

"That's me."

"You're a robot."

"A robot dragon."

Arthur shook his head. "How do we get back to the cool alchemy guy with the burned face?"

"We have to discover the secrets of time travel."

"How did I not know that this is what the game was?" Arthur moved his character forward until he was standing in front of Merlin's robot dragon. Merlin rotated so their characters were looking at each other and Arthur could see what his own character looked like. "Is that… is that you? Was this character fucking modelled after you?"

Merlin grinned and leaned down to plant a kiss on Aithusa's head as she started whimpering at a distant roll of thunder.

"This is ridiculous," Arthur muttered as he started exploring the lab they were in.

"Jealous?"

"Indescribably so."

"Maybe if you're lucky, I'll model one of the fighters I'm working on for this German game after you."

Arthur glanced over at him. "You'd do that?"

Merlin shrugged. "If you like."

Arthur pulled Merlin in for a hard kiss. "Are you—"

There was a noise behind them and Merlin turned to see Freya letting herself in.

"Oh, there you are," she said, kicking off her shoes.

"Were you looking for me?" Merlin asked, pausing the game.

"Not you." Freya leaned over the back of the couch to pet Aithusa. "You," she said, nudging Arthur's shoulder. "We couldn't find you last night. Thought you might have gotten snatched from the club."

Merlin watched as Arthur went red. "No," he said. "Just…"

Arthur trailed off, but Freya didn't seem to notice. She settled into one of the arm chairs and propped her feet up on the coffee table.

"Did you and the birthday boy have a good night?" Merlin asked.

"We had a _very_ good night. What are you playing?"

" _Aithusa_."

Freya rolled her eyes. "Have you seen the Dragonlord, yet?" she asked Arthur.

"You mean Merlin?"

"You're both just jealous," Merlin said. He started up the game again and helped guide Arthur's character around the lab.

"How was your night?" Freya asked after a while.

"Good." Merlin glanced over at Arthur, who had his eyes trained on the telly. "Really good."

"I… ran into Gwaine on my way out," Freya said, sounding guilty.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Are you… he was in the lounge looking quite cuddly with Percy."

Merlin grinned. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Are you not with him anymore?"

"Nah. Sounds like he got over it, though."

Freya shook her head. "I thought you liked him."

"I did. I mean, I do. As friends."

"You were all over him last night."

Merlin glared at her, trying to get her to stop. "It was just dancing."

Freya shrugged and went back to watching the game.

"How am I supposed to get past this unicorn?" Arthur asked a few minutes later, pressing all the buttons on his controller in a flurry.

Merlin reached over and, laying his hand over Arthur's, showed Arthur how to spin around the robot unicorn blocking the path they needed to follow.

"You have to _dance_ around enemies?" Arthur asked incredulously.

"You should practice your moves. That was kind of pathetic."

"You loved it."

"I've seen better."

"Liar. What are you—" Arthur watched as Merlin made his robot dragon dance around the unicorn. "What the fuck is this game, Merlin?"

"Perfection," Merlin said, laughing.

The unicorn spun slowly, doing its own sort of dance, and then it transformed into a dragon.

"Is that one a robot, too?" Arthur asked, backtracking to get a better look.

"Nope, that one's real. It's got the key we need."

Arthur made his Dragonlord reach out to pet the dragon. "Is this one of yours?"

"Yeah. I did all the real dragons. This one's a big ole softie. Hence the unicorn disguise."

Arthur shook his head. "Absurd."

Merlin grinned and then glanced over at Freya. She was watching them curiously.

"Have you seen Merlin's other games?" she asked.

"Just _Labyrinth of Gedref_ ," Arthur said. "Oh, and you said you worked on _Eye of the Phoenix_ , right?"

"Yeah. That was actually the first one I worked on after Avalon hired me."

"Obviously they like what you did for them. Does the game you're working on now have a name? The one with the cave and the tree?"

"They're calling it _Crystal Cave_ for now, which is… I mean, they didn't tell me to put crystals in that cave, I just came up with that, and now they're building the whole game around it."

"That's amazing," Arthur said, giving Merlin a soft smile. "It was a _really_ interesting cave. Must have inspired them."

Merlin felt his ears going red. He turned his attention back to the game and helped Arthur obtain the dragon's key.

"I need a nap," Freya said, getting to her feet. "Is that soup I smell?"

"Yeah. I can wake you up when it's ready," Merlin offered.

"Thanks." Freya gave him a knowing smile before heading off toward her room.

"Shit," Merlin said, suddenly remembering the tea. "I forgot about the kettle."

"Lucky for us, water doesn't burn."

Merlin chuckled and paused the game as he stood. "I'll put it on again."

When he came back to the sofa, Arthur was scrolling through the game's credits.

"I can't find you," he said, going back to the list of artists. "Have you been lying to impress me?"

"No, I just don't art under my own name. I'm the third one down."

Arthur squinted at the name 'Myrddin Wyllt.' "Is that Welsh?" he asked. "Are you secretly Welsh?"

Merlin chuckled and pulled Aithusa into his lap. "Not secretly. My dad was Welsh."

Arthur nodded, his eyes still on the screen. "Why don't you use your own name?"

"Because some people can be real shits."

"Oh," Arthur said after a moment. "Have you had a lot of trouble with that?"

Merlin shrugged and turned Aithusa over so he could rub her belly. "Not at any studio I've interacted with, thankfully. Mostly it's just the loud and incredibly hateful players I'm trying to avoid. They're not the majority, but… they definitely wish they were."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. Not anyone's fault but their own. I don't like hiding myself behind that stupid pseudonym, but maybe once I've made a proper name for myself I can just throw a big parade and start inserting trans characters into everything I do."

"You should. I'd come to that parade. And play those games."

Merlin grinned and picked up his controller again. "You'd better."

~~~

Arthur had to turn off his mobile when he got to work on Monday so that he wouldn't be distracted with thoughts of texting Merlin.

He spent his morning looking through contracts and proposals, trying to determine how much longer he would need to stay at Camelot in order to avoid disrupting any of the projects he was involved in.

It didn't seem like there would be a particularly good time to leave, which was unfortunate because, while he didn't have a strong desire to stay, he didn't want to make anyone else's job harder.

Except Annis's—she routinely made his job harder, and he wouldn't have minded returning the favour. Their meeting on Monday afternoon was no exception. She let him talk her through the finer points of his team's work and Ewan's new material, and then she succinctly tore him a new one and made him commit to a shortened timeline that would crunch his junior developers—and him—for weeks.

When he was able to get away from her, Arthur hid in a conference room and turned his mobile back on.

He had three texts from Merlin, the first of which was a blurry photo of Aithusa running around Merlin's kitchen.

**She's got the zoomies**

Half an hour later, Merlin had followed that up with, **She misses you**.

Arthur sat in one of the plush chairs and ran a hand over his mouth, trying to stop himself from smiling so widely.

_I miss her too. Give her a good belly rub for me_

A minute later, Merlin sent a short video clip of him enthusiastically petting Aithusa, who was grunting and snorting and wiggling her bum.

The video ended with Merlin turning his mobile around so that he was visible, smiling into the camera.

_Down in front! Can't see the dog!_

Merlin responded with a long string of emoticons that made less and less sense as they went on, starting with a sad face and ending with the Swedish flag.

_I disagree. How are you?_

When Merlin didn't respond within two minutes, Arthur went back to his desk to try to remove himself from any unnecessary calendar invitations.

His mobile finally buzzed with another message a full ten minutes later, and Arthur picked it up to see a screenshot of Merlin's latest piece.

It was a knight, presumably for the fighter game he was working on. The knight had a chainmail tunic over brown trousers and leather boots. He had shoulder, neck, and wrist guards, was holding an overlarge, delicately engraved sword, and was standing next to a sturdy brown horse decked out in its own armour.

The knight was blond. He had a square jaw and wide lips—the lower one round and plump. He was smouldering, his eyes narrowed slightly and his gaze set firmly on whatever enemy he saw in the viewer.

He was handsome and strong. The lines of his nose and his cheekbones and his jaw were sharp, and he looked as though he were ready to conquer anyone or anything that came in his way.

He was beautiful and brave. He was a warrior.

Merlin sent another version as Arthur was still processing the first, and this second knight was wearing a simple gold band around his forehead.

He was a king, or at least a prince, leading the charge.

_Wow_

**Is that a good wow or a bad wow?**

_An incredible wow_

**Thanks! I had some good inspiration**

Arthur pursed his lips and looked back at the two depictions of himself.

_Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?_

**If you must**

Arthur grinned and sent off _I must so much_ before turning off his mobile again and trying to concentrate on his work.

He was mildly successful, which was about as much as he could reasonably expect from himself considering what Merlin had just sent him.

His Tuesday went about the same, with thoughts of Merlin—thoughts of himself as Merlin's royal knight—interrupting his work every chance they got.

The fact that he had an upcoming date with Merlin only made it worse, and by the time he arrived at the restaurant, he was actually nervous.

"Hey," Merlin said, greeting him just outside with a kiss on the cheek.

Arthur pulled Merlin in for a hug. "Hey. Want to go in?"

Merlin nodded, so Arthur held open the door for him and then gave his name to the maître d'.

"Did you get us a reservation?" Merlin asked as he followed Arthur and the waiter to their table. "There's, like, 30 people waiting."

"'Course I did."

When they reached their table, Arthur pulled out a chair for Merlin, and Merlin gave him a deadly glare in response.

Arthur chuckled and pushed the seat back in. "Fine," he said, sitting in his own seat. "Just trying to be _chivalrous_."

Merlin flushed and took his seat quickly. The waiter handed over menus and excused himself.

"You like the fighter, then?" Merlin asked, his eyes glued to the menu.

"Is that really how you see me?" Arthur intended the question to be light, to be a joke, but he could hear the uncertainty in his tone.

Merlin looked up, his expression soft. "Yeah. You don't think you're brave?"

"Not brave enough to ride into literal battle, no."

"You're, like, what, 15 years into your chosen career and you're thinking of changing everything and going down a completely different path. That's brave. That's more than I would ever do."

Arthur looked down at his menu, feeling himself going red. "Yeah, well… it'd be a shame to waste a perfectly good crisis, I guess."

Merlin chuckled. "It would. You know what else would be a shame?"

"What?"

"Not ordering this wine." Merlin reached across the table to point out his selection on Arthur's menu. "It's 'angular,' whatever that means."

Arthur smirked and glanced through the rest of the wine menu, but ended up ordering Merlin's pick when the waiter came back to their table.

"So," Merlin said after they'd been left alone again. "How's work?"

"Fine," Arthur said automatically, still looking over his food menu.

Merlin tapped his foot lightly against Arthur's under the table, and Arthur looked up.

"Just fine?" Merlin asked.

Arthur shrugged and considered Merlin's question for a moment. "It's work," he said. "My boss is putting pressure on me to move up the timeline of this wrist joint project."

"Is that only temporary?" Merlin asked. "I thought that was your whole thing."

"It mostly is. This particular project is… we've been trying to build a new joint from scratch, basically. Like, replicating the bone structure more closely, instead of just having a ball joint. Not sure if we're going to get there."

"So, does the project just, like… end if you don't come up with a new joint?"

"No, we'll come up with one. I just don't think it'll be anything earth-shattering." Arthur sighed and picked at the edge of his menu. "I didn't do a good job of balancing my work with the work of my staff. I've just been doing a 50/50 split, in terms of where I spend my time, but I should have picked one area and focused on that. I could have got farther—or at least got where I am now faster—if I'd… maybe paired them off with each other so I could do my own work. Or I should have spent more time with them. I've got one guy who had the idea to make a new material, and it's not a particularly earth-shattering idea, either, but it's the only original idea I've heard from anyone on my team. I should have tried to get more from the rest of them."

The waiter came to deliver their wine and take their orders before Merlin could respond.

Merlin was the first to taste the wine.

"Yup," he said, smacking his lips. "That sure is angular."

Arthur took a sip and was surprised by the strange sensation of the flavour—or was that just the acidity—hitting his mouth in what felt like only one spot.

"Hm," he said, setting down his glass. "That's interesting."

Merlin grinned. "You mean it's bad."

"No, it's—"

"It's all right," Merlin said laughing. "It was a weird gamble that did not pay off."

Arthur sniffed at his wine before braving another sip. "It's not… terrible," he decided.

"It's not great, though, either."

"No," Arthur agreed. "We can order another one if you like."

"It's not that crucial."

Arthur shrugged and tried another taste of the wine. He genuinely couldn't decide whether he liked it.

"Are you still thinking of becoming a professor?" Merlin asked. "It seems like you'd really enjoy working with students."

"Apparently," Arthur said with a sigh. "I spent years in denial about that because I thought I needed to go a different route, but…" Arthur trailed his fingertip around the rim of his wine glass. "Basically I'm realising 20 years too late that I shouldn't have listened to my father."

"Better than 20 years too early," Merlin said bracingly.

Arthur frowned. "What?"

Merlin flashed him a bright smile and Arthur shook his head, laughing.

"You're ridiculous," he said.

"Thank you." Merlin took a sip of his wine, pulling a face as he swallowed. "It hasn't got better."

"Stop drinking it, then," Arthur said, pulling Merlin's wine glass over to his side of the table.

Merlin grinned, and Arthur rolled his eyes.

"What's your dad like?" Merlin asked after a moment, his tone convincingly innocent.

"I don't know," Arthur said slowly. "I always thought he was… stern but ultimately fair. I thought he was at Camelot because he believed in the mission and wanted to help people. I thought he was, I don't know… a good person. I guess he was just a selfish, useless prick this whole time."

"He can't be all bad," Merlin said quietly. "Not if he raised you."

Arthur shrugged. "Yeah. I guess he adopted a 'do as I say, not as I do' parenting philosophy." Arthur cleared his throat and took a long drink of his wine. "Did I tell you he lied about Morgana's mother?"

"No." Merlin frowned. "Who's her mother? Does she have a different mother than you?"

Arthur nodded. "So, the story we were told growing up was that he had been married to this woman named Vivienne and that they had Morgana and then Vivienne died in some tragic car accident. The he met my mum, they got married and had me, and then my mum also died."

"What's the real story?" Merlin asked warily.

"The real story is something like, he was married to my mum and having an affair with Vivienne. I was born and my mum died. _Then_ Morgana was born, and then her mum died. He was never married to Vivienne, and Morgana is younger than I am, even though we were told our entire lives that she was older. I don't even know what to do with that last bit."

"Wow," Merlin breathed after a long pause. "That's a lot. Why would he lie about any of that if… if both of the women he was involved with had died?"

Arthur gave an exaggerated shrug. "Why would he fucking do any of this? Because he only ever cared about himself." Arthur rubbed his forehead. "Sorry."

"It's all right. We don't have to keep talking about it."

"I don't mind. Well, I don't think I mind. It's just… a little fresh, I guess. I don't really have many people I can talk to about it."

"What about Morgana?"

Arthur snorted. "Safer not to bring it up, really. She might be more furious with him than I am, what with the personal betrayal and all."

"Can't really blame her."

"No." Arthur pushed both of their wine glasses across to Merlin to keep himself from drinking anymore. "I don't like what she did, but I can't reasonably say she shouldn't have done it."

"We should find a potted plant to dump this wine into," Merlin said, moving the glasses to the side of the table away from them both.

Arthur chuckled. "That does seem the best course of action."

Merlin licked his lips. "May I ask what happened to your and Morgana's mums?"

"I assume the car crash was real. Morgana probably would have mentioned if she found out it weren't. And, um… my mum died when she had me. There were some complications from the birth."

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah. Honestly, it's… knowing what I know now about my dad, it's probably for the best he hasn't had a wife for the past several decades. I mean, obviously I would have preferred divorce to death, but…" Arthur sighed, not sure where he had been going with that thought.

"If it helps, I am genuinely impressed with the way you've handled all this. I think I would have stayed in bed for a month in your position."

"That was definitely my first instinct." Arthur looked at Merlin, really looked at him for a moment, and felt his heart starting to thud in his chest. "Thank you for letting me vent at you. You're quite a good listener."

"I just want to help. Honestly, I don't know if anything I've said since we sat down was remotely useful, but—"

"It was," Arthur assured him. "Especially the bit about the potted plant."

Merlin chuckled and looked at something over Arthur's shoulder, and Arthur turned to see their food arriving.

They managed to keep the rest of their dinner conversation more light-hearted as they cleared their plates and took turns sipping at the wine until both glasses were half empty.

"Do you want pudding?" Arthur asked after he was finished eating. He leaned back in his chair a little. "They have excellent chocolate truffles."

"No, thanks," Merlin said, his eyes boring into Arthur's. "We can head home."

Arthur took the hint and signalled for the waiter. He settled the bill quickly and escorted Merlin outside.

"Can I pay you for my half?" Merlin asked, patting himself down as they walked toward the nearest Tube stop.

"No." Arthur pulled Merlin's hands away from his pockets. "My treat. I hope you liked it."

Merlin gave the back of Arthur's hand a kiss before dropping it. "It was excellent, thank you."

"Good."

They barely made it onto the train before it pulled out of the station. Merlin nearly tripped over himself running for it, and Arthur only just missed getting his arm caught in the doors.

The rest of the passengers didn't look impressed at their achievement, though, especially because the car was already stuffed full of people. Merlin and Arthur ended up in a corner with Arthur holding onto the bar above his head and Merlin holding onto his waist with one hand, the other pressed to the wall.

"Probably could have stood to wait for the next one," Arthur said, grabbing Merlin before he fell over when the train sped up.

"Where's the fun in that?" Merlin asked, giving Arthur a wide grin. He gripped Arthur's side a little tighter and shifted closer as someone pushed their way past them to get to the doors.

Arthur glanced down at the woman they were standing in front of. She was staring down at her mobile, playing some sort of game.

"You're right, this is better," Arthur said, slipping his hand under Merlin's shirt and splaying his fingers over the small of Merlin's back.

Merlin's breath hitched, and he gave Arthur a furtive look, his ears going red.

"Sorry," Arthur said reflexively, starting to pull his hand away.

Merlin gripped his arm, holding him where he was. He glanced at Arthur, the blush spreading to his cheeks. "I like it," he said, his voice low enough that Arthur almost didn't catch it.

The train slowed into the next stop and Arthur held Merlin against him as some people got off and even more people got on.

Arthur brushed his thumb over Merlin's back, and Merlin shivered, his breath catching again. Licking his lips, Arthur shifted to slot one of his legs between Merlin's. He dragged his hand around to Merlin's side and gave it a squeeze.

Merlin dropped his hand from the wall and held onto the back of Arthur's thigh instead, his thumb pressed into the lower curve of Arthur's arse.

Arthur closed his eyes, wondering what it was about Merlin that made him so willing to damn his sense of decency so they could grope each other in public. Normally Arthur preferred decorum and keeping his hands to himself. Maybe it was just that Merlin clearly enjoyed it so much.

And Arthur was enjoying it, too. He was getting hard, and he was warm all over, and he wanted to get Merlin as close as physically possible.

Their car started emptying out a few stop along, though, and all too soon there was enough room around them that they couldn't reasonably continue to stand the way that they were.

All Merlin did to show that he realised their less-crowded environment was to move his hand up from Arthur's thigh to his side. He slipped his pinky finger through Arthur's belt loop and took his other hand off Arthur waist to grip the bar above their heads, their hands overlapping.

"Where should we go?" Arthur asked as the train approached their stop.

"Hm?"

"My place? Your place?"

"Mine," Merlin decided. "If that's—"

"Yeah," Arthur agreed quickly. He ducked down to give Merlin's neck a kiss, and Merlin dug his fingers into Arthur's side.

"This is us," Merlin whispered as the train slowed down.

"Okay." Arthur licked up Merlin's neck and then gave it another kiss before stepping back. Before he could move for the doors, though, Merlin was pressing his palm to Arthur's half hard cock.

Arthur looked around nervously, but didn't see anyone watching them.

"Come on." Arthur grabbed Merlin's hand as the doors slid open.

He led the way out of the station and toward their block of flats, wanting to run but managing to control himself enough that they were just walking very briskly.

"Hey," Merlin said, tugging on Arthur's arm as they rounded the last corner on their route.

Arthur looked over his shoulder.

Merlin pulled Arthur in, gripping the sides of his face, and gave him a hard kiss.

"Come on," Arthur breathed when Merlin pulled back. "We're almost there."

Merlin walked the rest of the way with his hand in Arthur's back pocket, and all Arthur could think about was what Merlin had said about his collection of dicks. He wondered if Merlin would want to fuck him or if maybe it was too soon for that.

"Do you need to take out Aithusa?" Arthur asked when they were finally in the lifts on their way up to Merlin's flat.

"Might be able to get Freya to do it."

Merlin glanced over, and that was all the warning Arthur got before he was pressed against the back wall of the lifts with Merlin straddling his thigh and grinding down on it. Arthur groaned and rolled his head back, pulling Merlin against him. He couldn't believe how turned on he was considering all they'd done was stand a little too close on the Tube.

"Fuck," Merlin groaned when Arthur started trying to rub him through his jeans.

"Yeah." Arthur licked across Merlin's lips. "There must have been something in that wine."

"Alcohol, do you think?"

Arthur rolled his eyes and stepped away as the lift dinged.

"Wait, do you mean the angles?" Merlin asked as he followed Arthur into the hall. "You think they stuffed some triangles in there? Some parallelograms, maybe? Trapezoids?"

Arthur pulled Merlin in by the back of his neck and nipped at his lower lip. "Are you going to fuck me or talk about _shapes_ all night?"

Merlin pretended to consider the options. "I could go either way, really."

Arthur shook his head, holding back a laugh. "I'm really only interested in one of those."

Merlin looked at him for a long moment and then said, in a deceptively sexy voice, "Dodecahedron."

Arthur snorted, and Merlin chuckled, and then they were both just laughing like idiots in the hall outside Merlin's flat.

After a minute, the door opened.

"Did you lose your key?" Freya asked.

"No," Merlin said, wiping his eyes. "Just our minds."

Freya shook her head, looking exasperated but amused, and stepped aside so they could come in.

"Did you go out for dinner?" she asked as she closed the door behind them.

"Yeah. Our wine was a real hexagonal prism."

Arthur made a rather undignified noise as he tried to stifle his laughter. Merlin just grinned at him.

"Can I use your loo?" he asked, barely suppressing a giggle.

Merlin nodded, and Arthur headed down the hall, almost stepping on Aithusa as she bolted out of Merlin's office and ran toward the front door.

When Arthur came back out, Merlin was in his room with the door open, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Freya took Aithusa on a walk," Merlin said as Arthur came into his room.

"Oh? That was nice of her."

"It was time for some lady-to-lady bonding."

Arthur turned to close the door, and when he turned back around, Merlin was pulling him in for a kiss.

"Did you mean it?" Merlin asked, reaching behind Arthur to set the lock.

"Mean what?"

"That you wanted me to fuck you."

"Yeah," Arthur said quickly. "If you want to."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"No idea," Arthur admitted before moving in for another kiss.

Merlin stepped backward, pulling Arthur with him, until they were standing at the foot of the bed. Arthur pulled off his shirt, followed by Merlin's, and Merlin brushed his thumbs over Arthur's nipples.

"Do you want to—"

"Yes," Arthur said without any idea what he was agreeing to.

Merlin smirked and stepped away to pull open a bureau drawer.

Arthur could feel his eyes widening, and he tried to control his expression, but it was proving impossible. The was a harness bundled up in one corner, and the rest of the drawer was filled with Merlin's collection of customisable cocks.

"Damn," Arthur said, eyeing a particularly wide one.

"Pick whichever you like," Merlin said, grabbing the harness and setting it on top of the bureau.

"Which do you like?"

"Nope." Merlin brushed his hand against Arthur's. "Pick something _you'll_ like."

Arthur licked his lips and looked over the selection again before choosing a large blue one.

"It matches your eyes," Merlin said.

"Oh my _God_ ," Arthur complained, pulling Merlin in for a kiss before he could say anything else ridiculous.

Merlin immediately set about undoing Arthur's flies and getting a hand down his pants to start pulling on his cock.

Arthur let him carry on for a bit, enjoying the desperate edge to Merlin's kiss, but eventually he stepped away.

"Where do you want me?" Arthur asked, pushing Merlin's hair off his forehead.

"Wherever you want to be."

Arthur stepped out of his clothes and pushed Merlin's to the floor as well. "I want to be here," he whispered against Merlin's ear, reaching down to stroke Merlin's dick.

Merlin sighed and gripped Arthur's arm tightly, which Arthur hoped was a sign he was enjoying himself. Arthur moved his fingers lower, to Merlin's front, and then dragged them back up to the head of his cock. Merlin bit his lip at this, so Arthur did it again, and then again, and Merlin's eyes fluttered shut.

Arthur continued slowly rubbing between Merlin's front and dick until his breathing was ragged and his grip on Arthur's arm was faltering. Arthur could barely stand the look on Merlin's face, the way Merlin made him feel, the way Merlin felt under his fingertips—he wanted Merlin so badly, and every small thing Merlin did just made the longing sharper.

"Oh, God," Merlin moaned when Arthur shifted to push his fingers into Merlin's front. The angle was awkward, but Arthur started pumping his fingers in and out anyway, and Merlin groaned low in his ear.

When Arthur pulled back out and moved his fingers to Merlin's dick again, Merlin hissed and guided Arthur's hand away.

"Okay," Merlin whispered. He was flushed down to his chest. "Get on the bed."

Arthur sat on the edge and leaned back on his elbows, watching as Merlin stepped into the harness and slipped the dildo into place.

Merlin stroked his new cock a few times, locking eyes with Arthur, and Arthur felt his own cock jerking in response. Merlin was gorgeous.

"Leg up," Merlin said, moving over to the bed with a bottle of lube.

Arthur scooted a bit farther back and lifted one foot onto the bed, opening himself up for Merlin.

Merlin gave Arthur a long look, his hand still on his dick, and Arthur pulled a face.

Merlin chuckled and leaned over the bed to give Arthur a soft kiss. Arthur arched up, very ready for Merlin to get on with it, and bit at his lips.

There was a burst of sound from the living room as Freya and Aithusa returned.

Arthur opened his mouth to ask if they needed to be quiet, but before he could get out the full question, Merlin had stuffed two of his own fingers in his mouth.

Arthur licked sloppily around his fingers, closing his eyes as he got his first taste of Merlin.

"Good?" Merlin asked.

Arthur nodded, and Merlin pulled his hand out and then down until Arthur was fingering his own arse with his spit. Wasting no time, Arthur pushed the tip of one finger into his arse, and then, once the initial feeling of being stretched too far subsided, pushed it in past his first knuckle.

"You want me to fuck you?" Merlin asked, covering Arthur's hand with his own and adding pressure so that Arthur's finger slid all the way in.

"Yes," Arthur groaned, feeling a little high from how much he wanted it and much he liked Merlin toying with him like this.

Merlin tugged Arthur's hand away and replaced it with his own lube-slick fingers. Arthur breathed slowly, deeply, as Merlin started fucking him with one finger, and then a second, and, after a bit, a third.

When Merlin started rubbing his fingers along Arthur's prostate, Arthur dropped his leg back down over the edge of the bed.

"Okay," he said, squeezing his thighs around Merlin's wrist. "Okay."

Merlin grinned and stepped back to lube up his dick.

Arthur didn't think he would be able to last if he got to watch Merlin fucking him. Especially not if Merlin braced himself on the bed with one of his long, perfect arms.

"What are you thinking about?" Merlin asked.

"About you." Arthur sat up and gave Merlin a quick kiss before rolling over onto his stomach. He kept one foot on the floor and pulled his other knee up onto the bed.

Merlin immediately got a hand on his arse. "Ready?"

Arthur dropped down on his elbows and looked over his shoulder to see Merlin staring down at his arse.

"Yeah, just—" Arthur inhaled sharply when Merlin started pressing into him. "Mm, yeah." He pushed his hips back until he felt Merlin's thighs resting against his arse.

Merlin slid a hand down Arthur's thigh before resting it on the small of Arthur's back. He moved his other hand to Arthur's hip and gave it a squeeze as he started moving.

At first, it was just overwhelming. All of Arthur's nerve endings felt frayed, on edge, like everything was too much. His dick was sort of flopping unsexily on the edge of the bed, but he couldn't be bothered to adjust himself. He felt like he was floating away from his body.

Then Merlin picked up speed, moving a little rougher, and Arthur was able to focus on the rhythm between their hips. He reached under himself to give his cock a few strokes, and it jumped against his palm, throbbing eagerly.

Arthur folded his arms under his head, leaving his dick to get pushed into the sheets every time Merlin fucked into him, which wasn't much of an improvement over jerking himself off. He wanted to come—his body _wanted_ to come—but he didn't want this to end. He loved Merlin's hands on his sweaty skin and Merlin's cock rocking into his arse and Merlin's quiet, shallow breathing as they moved together.

"This good?" Merlin asked before giving Arthur's arse a light slap.

Arthur gasped, his body jerking, and nodded.

"Will you let me know…" Merlin let out a moan that went straight to Arthur's dick. "Let me know when you're close," he finished, his voice tight and breathy.

"I'm close," Arthur said, and he flexed his muscles, pulling Merlin's cock into him.

Merlin groaned and lifted one foot onto the bed, bent over Arthur as if they could get any closer, and started pounding into him.

"Christ," Arthur moaned, gripping Merlin's sheets.

"Arthur," Merlin said shakily. He dug his fingers into Arthur's thigh, and Arthur gasped. "Fuck, you feel so good. I'm—"

Merlin huffed and then slowed, his hips jerking as he came.

Arthur panted into the sheets, trying not to grind too hard against them as Merlin pressed into him, knowing he would definitely come if he did. He hadn't even considered that Merlin would come from that, and the thought that Merlin could—the fact that Merlin _had_ —was nearly enough to push him over the edge.

"Shit," Merlin breathed, slumping over Arthur's back and breathing hard. "Damn."

"That was good," Arthur heard himself saying. "That felt really good."

Merlin murmured his agreement and pressed a kiss to Arthur's back. "Did you come?"

"No, not—"

Merlin reached underneath them to get a hand around Arthur's cock, and Arthur came before Merlin had even stroked him once. He groaned helplessly, his arse clenching around Merlin's dick, and ground down into the sheets and Merlin's hand until he was too spent to hold himself up properly.

Arthur slid out his elbows and knee until he was just on his stomach with Merlin still draped over him.

"That was so much better than good," he said, his voice muffled against the bed.

Merlin chuckled and stood to pull out and take off the harness. Arthur stayed where he was, too limp to move, and Merlin flopped back down next to him a minute later.

"You still conscious?" Merlin teased, running his hand through Arthur's hair.

"No."

Arthur forced himself to open his eyes and shift over for a kiss. "How was that for you?"

Merlin smirked. "I came, didn't I?"

"More effective than grinding?"

"Yeah."

Arthur kissed Merlin's shoulder and reached down to rub his dick.

"I'm good," Merlin said, pushing Arthur's hand away.

"Okay," Arthur agreed, but moved his hand back anyway. He rested two fingers on either side of Merlin's dick and gave it a light squeeze that made Merlin twitch. "Goodnight."

Merlin snorted. "Are you—you want to go to bed like this?"

Arthur nodded.

"With one leg on the floor and your hand on my cock?"

"Mhm."

Merlin chuckled and kissed Arthur's cheek before sitting up. "Can I get you some water?"

Arthur took a deep breath and forced himself up on his feet. He stretched and groaned, planning to face plant back onto the bed until he saw where he had soiled the sheets.

"Sorry."

"See, now there you go with the apologies for coming," Merlin teased. He leaned in to press a kiss to Arthur's neck. "Sheets can be washed."

Arthur murmured in agreement and looped his arms around Merlin's middle.

"There was _really_ something in that wine."

Merlin laughed silently, his shoulder shaking against Arthur's. "Semicircles?"

"Those aren't very angular."

Merlin pulled back, grinning, and gave Arthur a soft kiss. "You wanted water?"

Arthur nodded and watched as Merlin left, only just closing the door in time to prevent Aithusa from getting in. He sat down on the edge of the bed, the muscles in his thighs trembling too much from his recent orgasm to keep him upright for much longer.

He leaned down to get his mobile out of his trousers and checked the news to keep himself awake until Merlin returned.

"Here," Merlin said, pressing the glass into Arthur's hand. "Bed?"

Arthur nodded, yawning, and took a sip before crawling up the bed and putting the water on Merlin's night stand. He rolled onto his stomach and wrapped his arms around the pillow, already half asleep.

~

Arthur woke with a jolt, his heart racing, and sat up in a panic. He was sweating and his stomach was lurching and he really didn't want to be sick all over his bed.

 _Merlin's bed_ , he realised as the rest of the room solidified around him.

He turned, dropped his feet off the edge of the bed, and took a few deep breaths.

"Hey." Merlin's voice was gravely from sleep.

"Sorry," Arthur whispered. "I'm fine." He continued breathing—counting to four on the inhale, holding it for just a moment, and then counting to four on the exhale—his heart rate gradually slowing down.

Arthur felt the bed shift behind him, and then Merlin was pressed to his back, wrapping those long arms around his chest and pressing a kiss to his neck.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"No. I don't know, maybe. Sometimes, I… it feels like I wake up mid-panic attack."

"That doesn't sound fun."

"No." Arthur pulled Merlin's hands into his lap and held them tightly.

They sat like that for a while, with Arthur focused on his breathing and Merlin plastered over his back, until Merlin yawned against Arthur's shoulder.

"Go back to sleep," Arthur said, letting go of Merlin's hands. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you."

"I don't mind." Merlin kissed the back of Arthur's ear before shifting away and lying down again. "Coming?"

"In a minute." Arthur leaned down to give Merlin's hand a kiss and then he went across the hall to relieve himself.

After that, he went into the kitchen to get some water. He felt better, calmer, but he also felt awake. Far too awake, considering it was only 5am.

Knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, and not wanting to lie quiet and still in Merlin's bed until Merlin woke up, Arthur settled down on the living room sofa with a book from the shelves next to the telly.

He read mindlessly for a while, barely comprehending any of the words in front of him, until Merlin came out.

"What are you doing?" he asked around a yawn. He was naked, as was Arthur, but somehow he still managed to look completely dishevelled.

"Sorry." Arthur set down the book. "Won't be able to get back to sleep."

Merlin stretched a little, lifting up on his toes. "Okay. Is it too early for breakfast?"

"You can go back to sleep," Arthur said quickly. "I'm fine, really. I should probably get dressed and go home to get ready for work, anyway."

"Do you go to work at butt o'clock?"

Arthur chuckled and stood to give Merlin a kiss. "No. But I don't have to stay here keeping you awake."

Merlin slipped his hands into Arthur's. "I don't mind. I'm awake now, anyway."

"I'm sorry."

"If you apologise again, I'll _make_ you sorry."

Arthur gave Merlin another kiss. "Fine."

"Are you feeling better?"

Arthur nodded.

"Do you want breakfast?"

"Maybe. Do you have any fruit? I feel like I might just want to go take a walk. Or maybe a run."

"I have bad news."

"No fruit?"

"No, I have fruit," Merlin said, smiling. "But it's raining."

"Oh. Well…"

"We could go to the gym," Merlin offered.

"We?"

Merlin shrugged. "Sure. We're both awake. Might as well."

Arthur pressed his forehead to Merlin's. "Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Do you want to borrow some workout clothes?"

"Oh, yeah. I guess that would help."

Merlin smiled and kissed the tip of Arthur's nose. "Go see if you can find anything that fits. Second drawer. I'll find food."

Merlin gave Arthur's hands a squeeze before going off to the kitchen. Arthur went back to Merlin's room and dug around in the second bureau drawer until he found a pair of shorts that would fit. He grabbed a t-shirt as well and got dressed before going to the kitchen.

Merlin was at the sink, still naked, washing off some apples.

Arthur pinched his bum in greeting.

Merlin looked over his shoulder, grinning, and gave Arthur a kiss. "Find anything?"

"Yup. Thank you."

"Sure." Merlin turned off the tap and handed Arthur two apples. "There's more if you want. Bananas as well. And one orange. Freya has frozen strawberries for some reason, so we could probably have those, too."

"This is good. Thank you."

Arthur gave Merlin's arse another squeeze as he went to get dressed.

By the time Merlin came back out, Arthur had eaten an apple and a half, one of the bananas, and most of the orange.

"Sorry," he said, handing over the rest of the orange slices. "Didn't realise I was that hungry."

Merlin shrugged and popped an orange slice in his mouth. "No worries."

Aithusa trotted in a moment later and pawed at Merlin's shoes.

"Damn," Merlin said, setting down the orange. "I was hoping she'd somehow sleep until I got back."

"I can take her out," Arthur said quickly. "Stay and eat."

Merlin looked skeptical, so Arthur gave him a long, orange-tasting kiss.

"Stay," he said again. "I got it."

Merlin grinned and ate another orange slice as Arthur ushered Aithusa into the living room so he could get her lead.

Once they were outside, Arthur took Aithusa halfway around the building and then, after she had finally found an acceptable place to do her business, came back in through the rear entrance.

"Thanks for that," Merlin said, greeting Arthur with a kiss at his front door.

"I really don't mind," Arthur said honestly. He stepped in and closed the door as Merlin took off Aithusa's lead. "I grew up with dogs. Plus, I like you."

Merlin grinned and gave Arthur another kiss. "I guess I like you, too. Ready?"

Arthur nodded and led the way back downstairs and outside. They walked to the gym mostly in silence, except for the occasional yawn from Merlin. It was still very early—early enough that it wasn't fully light yet—and the shift manager was only just unlocking the door as they arrived.

After some cursory stretches, Arthur set up on a bike because he didn't have his trainers for the treadmill. He started off quickly, basically sprinting, to shake the last of his nerves from the morning's unpleasant beginning. Once he was properly winded, he slowed down to a more moderate, though still brisk, speed and kept that up for the rest of his ride.

Merlin, on the other hand, started off walking on a treadmill and gradually gained speed until he was running hard, his feet pounding on the belt.

When Arthur got bored on the bike, he did a few reps on a weight bench and then sat in a corner near the treadmills to stretch out. Merlin spotted him after a minute and began slowing down until he was just walking, hands on his hips and panting.

Eventually he hopped off, went over to Arthur's corner, and did a few jumping jacks before leaning against the wall, looking spent.

"Feeling better?" he asked, looking down at Arthur.

Arthur nodded and got to his feet. Merlin pushed off the wall and wiped the sweat off the back of his neck.

"Well, I need a shower."

Arthur chuckled and stepped a little closer to take a loud whiff. "Yeah, you smell awful."

"I smell better than you."

Arthur pretended to be offended.

"Should we head back?" Merlin asked, lifting an arm to wipe off his forehead with his sleeve.

"Yeah. Come shower at mine?"

"You don't have to get ready for work?" Merlin asked, already walking toward the exit.

"I definitely need a shower before I go to work," Arthur pointed out.

Merlin grinned and followed Arthur back to the penthouse. Leon was in the kitchen when they got there, standing over the island to read the newspaper while he ate a bowl of cereal.

"You know we have chairs, right?" Arthur asked, walking past him to pull out two glasses.

"If I sit, I'll sleep," Leon said around a mouthful of his breakfast. After he swallowed, he added, "Hi, Merlin."

"Hey. How was the rest of your birthday? Haven't seen you since."

Leon must have pulled a face or made some funny gesture because Merlin burst out laughing, but Arthur missed it from where he was filling up the glasses at the tap.

"Why're you so sweaty?" Leon asked as Merlin and Arthur gulped down their water. "Or should I not ask?"

"Gym," Arthur said, setting down his empty glass.

Leon scrunched up his nose. "Already?"

Arthur shrugged and headed out of the kitchen, tugging Merlin by his shirt. "Just because _you_ don't know how to wake up properly."

Arthur led the way to his room and into the en suite where he turned on the shower and stripped out of Merlin's borrowed clothes.

"I'll wash those and give them back," he said, testing the water temperature with his hand.

Merlin got out of his own gym clothes and into the shower, pulling Arthur in after him.

"Fuck, that feels good," Merlin said, letting the spray him full in the face.

"Save some for me." Arthur nudged Merlin out of the way.

Merlin pushed Arthur back to stand under the water again, and Arthur nearly started a wrestling match until he registered that they were in the shower and likely to slip and crack their heads open if they got carried away. So, instead, Arthur turned and wrapped his arms around Merlin, pulling him under the stream as they kissed.

"I like going to the gym with you," Merlin said when they broke apart.

"Yeah? I'll bring the right shoes next time and do the treadmill with you. You were really pushing it."

Merlin shrugged. "I like to run."

"I do not," Arthur said, wiping off his face. "But I do it, anyway."

"That's how I feel about almost literally everything else."

Arthur grinned and moved in for another kiss.

"Do you have soap?" Merlin asked, stepping back to get the water out of his eyes.

"What's soap?"

Merlin laughed and flicked Arthur's shoulder. "I'll get your nipple next time."

Arthur instinctively covered his nipples with his hands. "Please don't."

"Get me the soap and I won't."

Arthur plucked a bottle of shower gel off the corner shelf and handed it over. Merlin poured a large amount into his palm and the shower was filled with the scent of grapefruit.

"So _this_ is why you smell so good all the time," Merlin said.

Arthur grinned and scooped up some of the shower gel from Merlin's hand. He lathered it up and started scrubbing it over himself. Merlin did the same, and then Arthur pulled out his shampoo, and soon enough they were squeaky clean.

"I don't want to go to work," Arthur admitted, tugging Merlin close and breathing in the scent of his own shampoo from Merlin's damp hair.

"Sure you do. Work is where you get money."

"Okay, yes. I do want the money."

Merlin grinned and ducked his head to kiss a trail up Arthur's neck.

"You smell good," he said when his lips reached Arthur's ear.

"I smell the same as you." Arthur put his hands on Merlin's waist, then slid them around to the small of his back, and then moved them lower to hold onto his arse.

Merlin flicked his tongue into Arthur's ear and then ducked back down to suck on Arthur's neck.

Arthur shuddered a little as heat rolled down his spine. He tilted his head, hoping Merlin wouldn't get too carried away and leave a mark, and pushed his fingers between Merlin's cheeks.

Merlin sighed as Arthur brushed a fingertip over his hole, his breath spilling over Arthur's chest. He moved to lick and kiss along the other side of Arthur's neck and pushed a hand between them to get it around Arthur's dick. There wasn't much room, and Arthur wasn't about to move away when Merlin's warm muscles were puckering against his finger, but Merlin still managed to build up a slow rhythm, mostly stroking along the base of Arthur's cock.

When Arthur added pressure, pushing just slightly into Merlin's arse, Merlin moved up for a proper kiss, his tongue sliding along Arthur's. Arthur moved his free hand to Merlin's back and pulled him closer, leaving no room for Merlin's hand between them.

"Arthur," Merlin moaned when Arthur pressed a little further. "Will you fuck me?"

Arthur pulled his finger away and gripped Merlin's arse roughly. "Now?"

"Yeah."

"Here?"

"Wherever."

Merlin shifted away and got his hand back on Arthur's dick. He pulled on it slowly, twisting his hand in a corkscrew sort of motion, which was distracting enough that Arthur was caught off guard when Merlin dropped to his knees.

Arthur hissed as Merlin swallowed his cock to the root like it was nothing. He tangled his fingers in Merlin's wet hair, probably getting it full of knots, and held on as Merlin pulled back, running his tongue along the underside of Arthur's dick.

"Thought you wanted me to fuck you," Arthur said when Merlin started bobbing his head along, his lips stretched wide around his cock, his lips wrapped tight around his cock, his lips and his tongue working together to make Arthur want to forget the fucking completely.

"Mhm," Merlin hummed without stopping what he was doing.

Arthur took a deep breath and let his head fall back, the shower stream hitting his hair.

Merlin started moving faster, sucking harder, and when Arthur looked down, he saw that Merlin was jerking himself off.

Arthur groaned and pushed Merlin away as he took a step back.

Merlin sat back on his haunches and looked up at Arthur, licking his lips, and continued rubbing his dick.

"Come on," Arthur said. "Let's dry off."

Merlin leaned forward to kiss the head of Arthur's cock before getting to his feet. They rinsed off one last time for good measure, and then Arthur turned off the shower and scrambled to get them towels.

Instead of drying himself off, though, Merlin used his towel to wipe the water off Arthur. He started with Arthur's hair and moved slowly down, getting his shoulders and his chest, his back and his arms, and then Merlin got to his knees again. Arthur held his breath, watching as Merlin went through the motions of drying off his legs before licking around his cock again.

"Merlin," Arthur warned, laughing a little at how insatiable he was. "Do you want me to fuck you or not?"

"Very much so." Merlin kissed a trail from Arthur's balls up to his hip before standing. "Do you want to bugger me against your balcony windows?"

"Do _you_ want that?" Arthur asked, already knowing the answer.

Merlin nodded, grinning, and pulled Arthur out into the bedroom.

As he got the lube and condoms, Arthur dared to check the time on his mobile. If he left within the next ten minutes, he had a slim chance of making it to work on time.

 _I need to run an errand on my way in, I'll be a bit late_.

Arthur sent off the text to Annis and turned back to Merlin.

They moved quickly, with Arthur pushing lube into Merlin's arse and Merlin getting his hands on Arthur's cock at every opportunity.

"How's this?" Arthur asked when had two fingers fully buried in Merlin's arse.

Merlin nodded and gave him a filthy, sloppy kiss. "Fuck me."

Arthur nipped at his lips and hurried to put on the condom. Merlin turned around, his bare chest pressed against the windows, and Arthur pushed into his arse as quickly as he dared.

"Fuck," Merlin sighed, dropping his head back against Arthur's shoulder.

"All right?" Arthur asked, curling his arms around Merlin's stomach.

"Yeah. Just go slow."

Arthur bit back a groan and began rocking into Merlin as slowly as he could. Merlin rolled his hips, pressing his arse back against Arthur, and widened his stance.

"Move back," Merlin said after a minute.

"What?" Arthur pulled out, confused.

Merlin took a step back so he had room to bend over, his hands gripping the glass. Arthur slid back in, and Merlin groaned, moving one hand down to touch himself.

Arthur gulped, thrusting a little harder. He'd always liked to watch other guys touch themselves, but something about Merlin doing it— _probably the arms_ —was so much hotter than usual.

"Faster," Merlin said, moving his hand back to the window.

Arthur got an arm around Merlin's chest and pulled him up so they were flush together. Merlin gasped and reached back to grip Arthur's thighs.

Arthur moved forward, taking Merlin with him, and pushed Merlin back against the window. He started fucking him again, faster and harder. Keeping one hand on Merlin's chest, holding him in place, Arthur moved his free hand down to Merlin's dick.

"Arthur," Merlin moaned, his body twitching in Arthur's arms.

"It's a nice view, isn't it?" Arthur asked, his lips against the shell of Merlin's ear.

Merlin gasped and reached over his head to grab Arthur's hair. Arthur groaned against Merlin's skin and Merlin _whimpered_ , his voice high-pitched and trembling.

"You gonna come?" Arthur asked, speeding up his hand as he started to lose the rhythm in his hips. He was so close, but he wanted to get Merlin there first. "In front of the whole city?"

Merlin inhaled raggedly, four times in rapid succession, and then exhaled a chorus of moans, his body rocking against Arthur's. Arthur watched Merlin's reflection in the windows, taking in the long line of his neck and the pained expression on his face and the sight of his own hand on Merlin's dick.

"Fuck," Merlin sighed, slumping a little. He kept one hand in Arthur's hair and moved the other to the window to help hold himself up.

Arthur stilled his fingers and started thrusting more slowly again, not wanting to overwhelm Merlin.

"Did you come?" Merlin asked breathlessly, tightening his grip on Arthur's hair. "Keep going."

Arthur took a deep breath and pressed his forehead against the back of Merlin's neck, remembering that Merlin didn't have a prostate and wasn't going to end up a babbling mess if Arthur continued fucking him.

Merlin moved his hand from Arthur's hair to Arthur's hip, pulling it against his arse.

Arthur took the hint and built his speed back up, pleasure tingling down in his toes. He kept his face buried in Merlin's neck and gripped Merlin's hips with both hands, trying to keep breathing as his toes went numb and tension sparked up his legs.

Merlin let out a deep groan and Arthur tilted his head to see the window reflecting Merlin touching himself again, his long fingers tugging on his dick.

Arthur pushed roughly into Merlin as the tension broke and his body erupted in pulses. He could feel it in his arms, in his gut, in his _hair_ , and he only barely managed to stay standing.

"God damn, Merlin," Arthur said against Merlin's shoulder.

"I think we need another shower," Merlin teased.

Arthur took a deep breath and stepped back, pulling out of Merlin and sliding off the condom. He tossed it in the bin in the entrance of the en suite and then sat on the edge of his bed.

"Still don't want to go to work?" Merlin asked, standing between Arthur's legs and brushing his fingers through Arthur's hair.

"How could I possibly want to do anything other than that ever again?"

Merlin grinned and leaned down for a kiss. "It sure was cock-tastic."

Arthur groaned and flopped back on the bed. "You're never going to forget that, are you?"

"How could I?"

Arthur shook his head. "A miracle."

Merlin smirked and leaned down to kiss Arthur's navel. "What's your lunch situation?"

"What?"

"Lunch." Merlin grabbed Arthur's hands and pulled him back up into a sitting position. "Do you take a break, or do you eat at your desk, or what?"

"I usually go out to get something… usually I'll eat there, or maybe in the park. Why?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

"Oh," Arthur said when it clicked. He bit at Merlin's chest, unable to stop himself from smiling. "Do you want to get lunch together?"

"Yeah." Merlin petted Arthur's hair. "As long as you don't work too far."

Arthur shook his head. "It's like 20 minutes on the Tube."

"Sounds doable. Do you go at noon, or…"

"12:30, usually." Arthur leaned back and looked up at Merlin. "I can text you the address."

Merlin nodded and bent down for a kiss. "It's a date."

Arthur stood and pulled Merlin in for a longer kiss. "Can't wait."

~

Merlin and Arthur had lunch together on Wednesday, and again on Thursday. On Friday, Arthur grabbed lunch with Ewan to find out more about his long-term goals. It turned out that Ewan was considering going back to school for another degree so that he could build artificial organs—and make new biomaterials for them.

When he got back to his desk, Arthur started looking up French restaurants. He wanted to take Merlin out, and he wanted it to be somewhere nice.

_How do you feel about duck?_

Merlin responded to Arthur's text with a doodle of an adorable, happy-looking duck.

**Love 'em. Very cute.**

_Then this might be awkward, but how do you feel about… eating duck?_

**Eh, pretty good. Why?**

_Dinner tonight?_

It took Merlin a few minutes to respond, during which Arthur narrowed down the list of restaurants he wanted to try.

**I'm sorry, I can't. I found a trans group that meets tonight so I'm going to go there**

_Oh, cool. Have fun! What happens at the meetings?_

**I think it's just a social group, so probably just food and mingling?? I don't really know**

_Food and mingling is good. Especially if the food is free_

**True. I'd probably go even if it weren't free. I've been meaning to find something like since I moved back, but visiting my friends in Canada was the kick in the pants I needed apparently**

Arthur put his mobile on his desk and hunched over it, reading through Merlin's message a few times.

_Makes sense, your Canadian friends are really great. I'm sure you'll meet some nice people tonight_

**Hope so! Dinner tomorrow?**

_Absolutely_

Merlin sent another doodle of a duck with hearts for eyes, and Arthur saved the image to his mobile before going back to work.

He had a difficult time concentrating, though, and the rest of the afternoon dragged on and on _and on_ until he finally biked home.

Leon and Gwaine were both out, so Arthur grabbed a beer and his laptop and settled out on his balcony.

His insides squirmed uncomfortably, and he was flushed red even though there was no one around to see him, but he still opened up his browser and started running searches.

He found a few groups that looked like they could be the one Merlin would be attending that night. He read about their histories and missions, and then clicked on all the affiliate links on their websites to explore similar collectives and advocacies and organisations. He read about transgender rights in the UK, and in Canada out of curiosity, and what additional protections and liberties people were still pushing and fighting for. He read about hormones and surgeries and what the NHS covered and how expensive it was to avoid the NHS waiting lists by going private.

He read articles and interviews and blog posts about how to be ally, about how _not_ to be an ally. He read advice for partners of trans people. He read about how to have sex with trans men.

Luckily he hadn't missed anything crucial in that last area, although he did gain an appreciation for the fact that Merlin was willing to be fucked in his front at all.

Arthur read for hours, stopping only to make a quick dinner, going down rabbit hole after rabbit hole until his eyes hurt from the glow of his laptop. And yet, he felt like he'd only scratched the surface. There was so much to trans identities and politics and bodies, and everyone's experiences were so varied, and there were so many things he had never even considered before, and he felt completely overwhelmed and deeply inadequate as a potential partner for Merlin.

~~~

On Saturday morning, Merlin took Aithusa out for a few minutes before making himself breakfast, and then he headed out to a sports centre near Hyde Park that served as the starting point for a 6-mile run he'd signed up for during the week. It was organised by an LGBTQ+ group, and there were two people at the centre that he'd met at the trans meet-up the night before. They chatted for a while as they stretched and as everyone started off on the run.

Merlin stayed with his new acquaintances until they were running too fast to hold a conversation, but then he wanted to go even faster, so he sped to the front of the group and ran most of the way with a few other more fast-paced runners.

There was a cool breeze, which was nice, and some light rain, which was less nice, but Merlin didn't mind. He felt _so_ good running in a large group like this. Running with a bunch of other queer Londoners that he didn't even know but who had all greeted him with warm smiles, anyway. Running with other trans guys. Running with a small army of potential new friends after a night of meeting even more potential new friends.

The meet-up the night before had been a perfect way to end the week. The group had been friendly and casual and welcoming. He'd met another artist, two women who had gone to his university after he'd finished there, a Canadian transplant, a whole gaggle of video game enthusiasts, and one of Lance's ex-boyfriends.

He'd stayed out a little too late and drank a little too much, but he'd left with several people's contact information and vague plans to meet back up with a few of them some weekend for board games.

It wasn't anything close to his group of friends in Montréal, but it was a start.

After the run, Merlin followed the bulk of the group to brunch. He stayed long enough to pick at some bubble and squeak, and then he headed home on the Tube.

Once he was back above ground and walking to his block of flats, he decided to ring his mum.

"Hi, Merlin," Hunith said cheerfully. "I'm so glad to hear from you."

"Hi, Mum. How are you?"

"I'm good. Just cleaning. How are you? How was your trip?"

"Oh, it was really nice. Really exhausting, but really nice."

"Did you get to see your friends?"

"Yeah, a bit. Mostly on the weekend—I was pretty swamped during the week with stuff for Avalon. But we all met up for a picnic on Saturday, which was fun."

"That sounds lovely. Was Elyan able to make it?"

Merlin looked up at the sky, trying to tell if it was going to start raining again. "Yeah, he was there for Saturday night and a bit on Sunday."

"That's good. How was it?"

Merlin twisted his lips. "I don't know. It was difficult, but… but nice, I guess. Yeah, it was nice."

Hunith made a sympathetic noise. "It's good you were able to see him. I'm sure you'll find someone else closer to home soon enough."

"Yeah," Merlin agreed slowly. "Yeah, actually, I… I started seeing someone after I got back."

"Oh? Who is he? How did you meet?"

"His name's Arthur. He lives in the east tower of my block of flats."

"That must be convenient."

Merlin chuckled. "Yeah."

"Well, what's he like?" Hunith pressed. Merlin could practically hear her smiling.

"He's really nice. He, uh… he really likes my games. And my waffles."

Hunith laughed. "Well, that sounds like a good place to start."

"Yeah."

" _Well_ ," Hunith said pointedly. "Do you like him?"

"Yeah," Merlin said rolling his eyes. When there wasn't a response on the line, he added quietly, "I like him a lot."

"Good. I'm glad. Hopefully I'll get to meet him."

"It's been like a week, Mum."

"So, next Friday then?"

Merlin grinned as he let himself into his building. "Sure, that seems completely reasonable. I'm about to get in a lift."

"All right. Have a good rest of your weekend, Merlin. I love you."

"Love you, too, Mum. Bye."

Merlin ended the call and went up to his flat to get Aithusa. He took her for a proper walk around the neighbourhood and then sat with her on the wet grass outside of the block of flats, letting her prance about and playing a couple rounds of fetch with a tennis ball.

Just as he was considering going back in to shower—and probably give Aithusa a bath—Gwaine came out of the east tower and made a beeline for him.

"Why are you sitting in the wet grass?" he asked, grinning.

Merlin shrugged happily. "I was already pretty wet from the rain. Figured I might as well get good and dirty with this one before I got us both cleaned up." Merlin scratched at Aithusa's rear, and she snorted appreciatively. "What are you up to?"

"Meeting with Percy."

"Yeah?" Merlin stood, wiping off his shorts. "How's that going?" To his amusement, Gwaine flushed. "That good, huh?"

Gwaine grinned. "It's pretty good, yeah."

"Good. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." Gwaine crouched down to pet Aithusa.

"So, did you get together at Leon's thing?"

"Sort of. Mostly we just talked that night. Like… all fucking night."

"Yeah? That was probably good, considering the major disconnect you two had."

"He thought I knew," Gwaine said, standing back up. "He thought Leon knew, too."

"To be fair, I've known him for a while, and he's never been quiet or subtle."

Gwaine shrugged. "Maybe that's because you've known him in the context of dating Lance."

"Maybe," Merlin admitted. "But you two figured it all out?"

"Yeah." Gwaine scratched his cheek, staring down at Aithusa. "I've tried to get guys to agree to… less traditionally monogamous arrangements before, but it's never gone well. For some reason I kept attracting _really_ jealous men, or men who had been cheated on, or men who were just, like, disagreeable shits."

"And then comes Percy," Merlin teased, "riding in on his white non-monogamous horse."

"Something like that," Gwaine said, laughing.

"Well," Merlin waited for Gwaine to look back up at him, "I'm really glad it worked out. Percy's pretty cool. You're all right, too, I guess."

Gwaine grinned. "Thanks. You are equally adequate."

"Goodness, keep that up and you'll make me blush."

Gwaine rolled his eyes. " _Anyway_. Do you have your eye on anyone new?"

Merlin licked his lips, realising that Arthur hadn't told Gwaine about them yet. He didn't know why—hopefully it was just that they hadn't seen each other enough to have that conversation—but he also didn't want to lie to Gwaine.

"Actually, yeah. I've… Arthur and I have been—"

Gwaine burst out laughing before Merlin could finish his sentence.

"You're such a fucking liar," Gwaine said gleefully.

"What? No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You kept telling me you didn't fancy him."

"Can you blame me? What would you have done if I had?"

"Tried to get you together sooner. You could have fucked him all over your hotel rooms in Montréal instead of your ex."

Merlin shrugged. "Maybe. Christ, that would have made my ex showing up a _lot_ more awkward."

Gwaine sniggered. "Probably. Does Arthur know you fucked him?"

"I assume so. Don't know how he could not." Merlin sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair. "That trip was kind of a mess for us."

"See? Could have been a lot less messy."

Merlin shrugged again. "Maybe. Doesn't matter now, though."

"No," Gwaine agreed. "We all got it together in the end. You guys make a good couple."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Is he a good fuck?"

Merlin leaned down to grab the end of Aithusa's lead. "Well, that's my cue to go home."

Gwaine laughed and gave Aithusa a farewell pat. "We should have a double date sometime."

"Sure."

Gwaine grinned and pulled Merlin in for a hug. "Treat him well, yeah? And make sure he treats you well. If he doesn't, you know where I live."

Merlin laughed and pushed Gwaine away. "You're ridiculous."

"You love it."

"Not anymore. That's Percy's job now."

Gwaine rolled his eyes. "Well. I'll see you around, I'm sure."

"Tell Percy I say hi," Merlin said as Gwaine started walking off.

Gwaine gave a wave and Merlin tugged Aithusa toward the door, ready to get them both clean.

~

Merlin met Arthur at the French restaurant that night. Arthur had told him to dress nicely, but Merlin was still surprised at how fancy the place was.

"You know you don't have to put so much effort into impressing me," Merlin said once they were seated. "I already like you."

Arthur smiled shyly. "I just… wanted to take you to a nice dinner."

"Mission accomplished, then," Merlin teased. "This is easily the nicest place I've ever had dinner."

"Yeah? Well, order whatever you want. My treat."

"I'll get pudding, then."

"Nope. It's on me. All of it."

Merlin glanced down at the prices on the menu. "Arthur, that's—"

"It's fine. Let me."

Merlin looked up and studied Arthur for a moment. He looked nervous and agitated. He looked deeply uncomfortable.

"If I let you pay for my ridiculously over-priced dinner, will you tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing's going on," Arthur said, frowning. "Just trying to…"

Merlin waited patiently for Arthur to explain his motives, but Arthur just sighed and slumped down in his chair.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked, locking his ankles around one of Arthur's under the table.

Arthur traced a fingertip along the edge of his knife. "Just feeling a little insecure," he said quietly. "I realised I… don't understand what it's like for you to… to be trans, or what it means to you. And I have no way of ever understanding. But I know it's a really important thing for you, and I… just feel inadequate."

Merlin reached across the table to cover Arthur's hand with his own. "Hey," he said, and Arthur glanced up at him. "If I needed you to understand every tiny thing, then… well, then I wouldn't be dating you. I wouldn't be dating anyone. There are things about your life I won't ever understand, either. That's just the nature of being two different people."

Arthur nodded. "I know. I just, uh… I'm just having a moment."

Merlin squeezed Arthur's hand before taking his back. "If it helps, you're the first cis guy I've tried to date since Will, back before I transitioned or came out or anything. I'm not feeling especially confident, either."

Arthur smiled. "We're quite a pair."

There was a pause in their conversation as a waitress took their wine orders and let them know about the chef's special.

"Let's make a deal," Merlin said when they were alone again. "Let's just… be really open with each other, okay? Not just about trans stuff, but…"

Arthur nodded. "Yeah. I mean, technically that should be the basis for any relationship."

"True," Merlin said, laughing. "Doesn't always work out that way."

"Certainly doesn't. Let's make a point to try, though."

Merlin nodded. "Agreed. When it comes to the trans stuff, you can ask whatever if you have questions. I'll let you know if you're being offensive or anything."

"Okay," Arthur agreed.

"And I'll try to be open about, I don't know, any feelings that come up from my trans identity, yeah?"

"Yeah." Arthur sat up straighter, looking more relaxed. "And I will try to make sure you aren't always doing all the emotional labour in this."

Merlin grinned. "Thanks. I'd appreciate that."

Arthur cleared his throat and tapped his foot against Merlin's. "How was your day?"

"Really good. Actually, I should tell you. I ran into Gwaine and told him about us. I hope you weren't, like, trying to keep it a secret."

"No, not at all. I haven't seen him much since last weekend. What did he say?"

"He laughed."

"Typical."

Merlin chuckled. "He also told me to let him know if you ever don't treat me well."

"Noted," Arthur said, grinning.

"In the interest of being open, you don't mind that I've slept with him, right?"

Arthur shrugged. "I mean, I don't love it," he admitted. "Mostly because I know he's going to make a lot of snide comments about it for a while. And I _hated_ it while it was happening because I wanted you to be with me. But, no, I don't mind that you've slept with him. It's not the first time he and I have gotten involved with the same guy."

"No?"

"No. Hopefully this will go better than the last time, though."

"What happened last time?"

"I, uh… I thought they'd split up. But they had not."

"Oh no," Merlin said, trying not to laugh. "How did you mess that up?"

"The guy _told me_ they'd split up!"

"Wow. That's fucked up."

"I know," Arthur said emphatically. "Turned out that Gwaine had suggested they have a threesome or something, and the guy wasn't interested. I guess he got paranoid that Gwaine was going to cheat on him, so he decided to cheat on Gwaine first."

"And now I understand why Gwaine hasn't successfully navigated polyamory before."

Arthur snorted. "Yeah, he's had a rough go of it. Percy seems all right, though."

"Percy's great," Merlin confirmed. "You know who else is great?"

"Who?"

"You."

Arthur laughed, blushing. "Wow. Thanks."

Merlin grinned and gave Arthur a cheesy wink as the waitress came back with their wine.

Arthur entertained Merlin for the rest of their dinner with more stories of Gwaine's sexual and romantic exploits. Merlin ordered the duck but ended up helping himself to most of Arthur's lamb, which worked out because Arthur ate most of Merlin's duck, anyway.

They walked home, stopping every time they went past an alley so that Arthur could pull Merlin into it for a snog. By the time they reach their block of flats, Merlin was wet and Arthur was hard, and they only barely managed to keep their hands off each other as they rode the lift up to Merlin's floor with another couple.

"I want you to fuck me again," Arthur said, draping himself over Merlin's back as Merlin unlocked the front door to his flat.

Merlin shuddered, a little desperate from how turned on he already was even though all they'd done was grope each other in a few alleys.

"You're a bit of a bottom," Merlin teased. He got the door open and tugged Arthur in by his lapels.

"I can be." Arthur licked into Merlin's mouth and Merlin pressed him back against the door. "Is Freya home?"

Merlin looked over his shoulder. The living room was empty, except for Aithusa who was sleepily watching them from under the sofa.

"Dunno." He flicked his tongue into Arthur's ear before stepping away. "Come on." He took Arthur's hand and led him down the hall to his room.

Merlin pushed Arthur down on the bed, and then Aithusa trotted in because he'd forgotten to close the door. She climbed up the doggie stairs and onto to his bed, nosing at Arthur until he started petting her.

"Sorry," Merlin said, laughing. "She's such a cock block."

"Nah, she's great." Aithusa rolled over and Arthur rubbed her belly. "Can I use your toilet?" he asked, looking up.

"'Course. I'll try to sort this one out," Merlin said, picking up Aithusa.

"Should I take her out?" Arthur offered.

Merlin leaned down to give him a kiss. "I got it. I'll be back in a few. Make yourself at home."

Merlin hurried to get Aithusa's lead and take her back down the lift. He walked her once around the building and then had to hide behind a bush to avoid getting dragged into a conversation by one of his neighbours. By the time he got back to his flat, Arthur was lying on his bed, naked, and fingering his own arse.

"Jesus," Merlin muttered as he set Aithusa down in his office and closed the door to keep her in. "You're having all the fun without me," he said as he went back in his room. He crawled on top of Arthur for a long kiss.

"You going to close that door?" Arthur asked when Merlin stood and started taking off his clothes.

"Freya's not here. Her door's open."

When he was down to his pants, Merlin lay down next to Arthur and started stroking his cock. Arthur sighed and turned his head for a kiss.

"You still want me to fuck you?" Merlin asked, rubbing the pad of his thumb just below the head of Arthur's dick.

Arthur let out a low groan and stilled the fingers he had buried in his arse. "Yeah," he whispered. "Please."

"Please, huh? I'll see what I can do."

Merlin sat up and started to get off the bed, but Arthur pulled him back.

"Not yet," he said, tugging Merlin's pants off. He reached for Merlin's dick, but Merlin pushed him away.

"You're going to have to use your other hand."

Arthur chuckled and rolled over Merlin to lay on his other side. "Sorry."

He reached for Merlin's dick again, and Merlin let him, his body lighting up as Arthur started rubbing him. Arthur went slowly at first, stroking up from Merlin's front and getting his dick good and slick. When he added more pressure, Merlin's breath hitched. He closed his eyes and pressed his head back into the pillow, moaning as Arthur ducked down to lick around his nipples.

"Oh," Merlin groaned when Arthur pushed two fingers into his front.

The bed shifted, and Merlin opened his eyes to see Arthur sitting up.

"Is this okay?" Arthur asked as he added third finger.

Merlin nodded and spread his legs wider. Arthur built up a rhythm, his fingers dragging deliciously inside Merlin.

When Arthur shifted and started pressing against Merlin's G-spot, Merlin groaned and lifted his hips.

"Good?" Arthur asked, holding onto Merlin's side with his free hand.

"Yeah," Merlin groaned. "Faster."

Arthur obeyed, fucking his fingers into Merlin more quickly and more roughly until Merlin could hardly breathe from the tension building in his cunt.

"Okay," he managed, grabbing Arthur's arm and forcing him to stop.

"Too much?" Arthur asked. He pulled his fingers out slowly and gave Merlin's dick a few light strokes.

"No." Merlin ran a hand over his face and sat up, pulling Arthur in for a long kiss. "I thought you wanted me to fuck you."

"I do."

Merlin nipped at Arthur's shoulder. "Let's do that, then."

Arthur kissed a trail up Merlin's neck to his ear. "Okay."

Licking his lips, Merlin pressed his forehead to Arthur's. "Can we go out on the balcony?"

Arthur grinned and wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist. "You want to?"

"Yeah."

"You're a bit of an exhibitionist," Arthur teased.

Merlin grinned. "I can be." He gave Arthur a wet kiss before getting off the bed. Arthur followed, standing behind Merlin and kissing the back of his neck as he got his harness and the blue dick he'd used last time out of the drawer.

"Hopefully it's not too cold," Merlin said, grabbing the lube.

Arthur opened the door and took a step out on the balcony. "It's fine."

Merlin turned the light out in his room and followed Arthur out on the balcony. A few other people had their balcony lights on, but it didn't look like anyone else was out, and Merlin's balcony was mostly dark except for the reflection of moonlight off his office windows.

Arthur shifted the furniture to one corner as Merlin got into the strap-on, and then he leaned against the wall and slipped his fingers under the harness, pulling Merlin against him for a rough kiss.

"What happens if someone actually sees us?" Arthur asked. He moved his hands up to Merlin's neck and pushed his fingers into Merlin's hair.

"Nothing. Maybe they'll heckle us if we're lucky."

"And if we're unlucky?"

"Then just nothing."

Arthur chuckled and tugged Merlin closer for a kiss. Merlin reached between them to pull on Arthur's cock, and Arthur moaned, sinking against the wall. He dropped one hand to push Merlin's away and wrapped his fingers around his own dick _and_ Merlin's dick, jerking them off together.

Merlin felt like his knees were going to give out. Arthur was so hot, and so lovely, and so eager. Merlin just wanted to fuck him until he was moaning in a puddle on the balcony floor. He grabbed Arthur's arse with both hands, pulling their hips together.

Arthur gasped and pulled his hand away, cupping Merlin's face instead as their kiss deepened. He lifted one leg, hooking his knee over Merlin's hip, and Merlin grabbed the back of his thigh to hold him up. Their hips rocked together, their cocks sliding against each other, and Merlin never wanted to do anything else ever again.

"Merlin," Arthur breathed, moving his hands to Merlin's arms as Merlin continued grinding against him.

Merlin ducked down to suck on Arthur's neck.

"Merlin, please," Arthur whispered, digging his fingers into Merlin's biceps.

Merlin licked back up to Arthur's lips and gave them a peck. "Please what?"

"Please fuck me. I'm going to come if we keep doing this."

Merlin grinned and set Arthur's leg down before stepping away.

"How do you want me?" he asked as he slathered his cock with more lube.

Arthur glanced around the balcony. "On your back," he decided. "If the floor's not too cold."

Merlin bent down to test the temperature with his hand. "Might be a bit cold," he said. "Hang on."

He went back inside and into his office, grabbing a blanket. When he returned to the balcony, Arthur was leaning on the railing, looking up at the sky.

Merlin dropped the blanket to the floor and stepped up behind Arthur, kissing the back of his neck.

"Or I could have you like this," he said, pressing the tip of the dildo to Arthur's arse.

Arthur arched against him. "Maybe next time," he said.

Merlin grinned and licked up the shell of Arthur's ear. "Maybe," he agreed.

He stepped back and spread out the blanket before sitting down. Arthur followed, leaning over him and giving him a filthy kiss.

"Ready?" Merlin asked, lying down.

"Fuck yeah." Arthur grabbed Merlin's dick and sank slowly down on it.

Merlin rubbed his hands over Arthur's thighs, biting his lip as he watched Arthur bottom out and sit on his thighs.

Arthur sighed as he lifted up and then shifted back down, testing out a slow rhythm.

"Good?" Merlin asked, sliding his hands up to Arthur's sides.

Arthur nodded and continued riding Merlin slowly, his eyes clenched tight.

Merlin pressed his feet to the floor and started lifting his hips, pushing the dildo deeper into Arthur each time he shifted down.

"Fuck," Arthur groaned, leaning forward and bracing his hands on Merlin's shoulders.

"You look so good like that," Merlin said as Arthur ground down on him.

Arthur smiled a little and bore down harder, adding pressure to the base of the strap-on rubbing against Merlin's dick.

Merlin bit back a moan and reached for Arthur's cock. He only managed a few strokes before Arthur pushed his hand away.

"Not yet," Arthur said, breathless as he sat back.

With a groan, Arthur moved one hand to Merlin's side and reached behind himself with the other to grip Merlin's knee. He started rolling his hips more quickly, his cock sliding along Merlin's stomach.

Merlin groaned at the new pace and slid his hands up to Arthur's chest. He pinched both of Arthur's nipples, and Arthur's head dropped back as he moaned. He was stunning, all tanned and muscular, and Merlin couldn't look away.

"Christ, Arthur." Merlin moved his hands back to Arthur's thighs and gripped them tightly.

Arthur looked down at Merlin, licking his lips. His face and chest were flushed, and his eyes were heavy lidded, and he was gorgeous.

"Come here," Merlin said, wrapping his arms around Arthur's back and pulling him down.

Arthur gripped Merlin's shoulder with one hand and set the other on the blanket next to Merlin's head.

"What?" he asked, still trying to roll his hips even though the new angle didn't work as well.

Merlin bent his knees, digging his heels into the blanket for more leverage, and thrust up into Arthur. Arthur grunted, so Merlin did it again, and Arthur's dick twitched against his stomach.

"Good?" Merlin asked, lifting his hips faster and gripping Arthur's arse.

Arthur just groaned in response, growing louder and louder as Merlin sped up. Merlin knew they had a pretty good chance of not being found out if they were quiet, but there was no chance that most of their neighbours couldn't hear the cascade of sounds pouring out of Arthur's mouth. His cunt pulsed at the thought, and he bucked a little, trying to hold back.

"Oh, _God_ ," Arthur gasped when Merlin got the angle just right. "Fuck—ah!" His moans turned higher pitched as Merlin hammered into him. "Ah, Merlin—"

Arthur jerked forward as he came, his whole body shaking in Merlin's grip. He went silent, his mouth just stretched open in voiceless pleasure. Merlin fucked him through it, slowing down when his hips started twitching, and eventually stilling completely when he dropped to his elbows.

Merlin guided the dildo out of Arthur's arse and then Arthur collapsed on top of him, panting harshly. He wrapped his arms around Arthur's back, trying to catch his own breath with Arthur's full weight on top of him. His heart was hammering and his dick was throbbing so hard he almost couldn't tell if maybe he was actually coming as well.

After a moment, Arthur managed to roll onto his back. He clasped his hands over his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Fucking hell, Merlin," he said finally.

Merlin grinned and turned to press a kiss to Arthur's shoulder. "Yeah?"

"I think you killed me. Have I died? Is this heaven?"

"Could be."

Arthur laughed weakly and pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Did you come?"

Merlin shook his head and let Arthur pull him up for a kiss.

"What do you want me to do?"

Merlin considered the options and then smiled, his imagination latching onto an image that popped into his brain.

"How do you feel about rimming?"

Arthur ran his tongue between his teeth. "Could be on the table."

"There's no table out here."

Arthur rolled his eyes, laughing. "Turn over," he said, pushing at Merlin's hips.

"Nope." Merlin got to his feet instead and braced himself on the balcony railing. He stuck his arse out and wiggled it a little. "Well?"

Arthur bit one of Merlin's cheeks before spreading them and licking his arse wetly.

Merlin sighed and reached back to grip Arthur's hair. Arthur wasn't wasting any time in pretending to be coy or building up any sort of rhythm. He was sloppy, dirty with it, and Merlin couldn't stand how good it felt.

He moved his hand to the base of the silicone dick, rubbing it side to side over his own dick. He was so ready, and Arthur was getting _greedy_ with his arse, and he needed to come.

Merlin started jerking the dildo roughly, the base of it knocking hard against his dick. He grabbed at the railing as he started losing his breath and his cunt started pulsing, eager to come after Arthur had finger-fucked it earlier.

"Arth—" Merlin moaned shakily as he finally came, pressing his arse back against Arthur's face and rubbing the strap-on against his dick and trembling _all_ over.

He couldn't stay standing, but Arthur caught him when he slumped down, pulling him into his lap. Merlin dropped his hands to the floor, all the strength in his body seeping out with the last thrums of his orgasm. Arthur wrapped a hand around the base of Merlin's cock and rubbed it against him, drawing out the pleasure until Merlin couldn't take it anymore and summoned the strength to knock Arthur's hand away.

"Oh, I can't move," he groaned. "I can never move again."

Arthur chuckled and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. "So it was good?"

"So fucking good."

Merlin shifted sideways and lay across the blanket, trying to catch his breath. His dick was still throbbing and he felt warm and limp all over.

Arthur leaned down for a kiss. "You're incredible."

Merlin grinned and wrapped an arm around Arthur's shoulders as he lay down. Arthur got his hand back on the dildo and stroked it lightly.

"I like this thing," he said.

Merlin laughed tiredly. "Really? Hadn't noticed."

Arthur grinned and rolled over for a kiss. "Next time we should try one of the double-ended dicks."

"Sure." Merlin let his arm drop from Arthur's shoulder, too exhausted to hold it up. "They make me come really quickly, though."

"Not sure why you seem to be presenting that as a downside."

"Good point."

Arthur chuckled and sat up, pulling Merlin with him. "Should we sleep, do you think?"

"God, yes. Sleep, please."

"One sleep coming right up." Arthur got to his feet with a grunt and hauled Merlin up as well. "Can I borrow a toothbrush?"

Merlin snorted and started kicking the blanket back into his room. "Probably should, yeah."

Arthur gave Merlin a kiss on the cheek before going inside and heading for the toilet.

Merlin stepped out of his harness and sat down on the edge of his bed, staring blankly at his bureau while he waited for his turn in the loo until he remembered that Freya wasn't home and he could just use her en-suite.

When he came back, Arthur was already under the covers. Merlin pulled on a clean pair of pants and joined him, snuggling up to his side and draping an arm across his chest.

"You're my favourite Merlin," Arthur mumbled, lacing his fingers with Merlin's.

"Was there a comma in there?"

"No."

Merlin grinned and pressed a kiss to Arthur's shoulder. "Then you're my favourite Arthur."

Arthur made a vague noise in response and Merlin gave his shoulder another kiss before giving in to the allure of sleep.

~

Merlin woke up to his feet being licked by Aithusa. He groaned and opened his eyes to see Arthur sitting next to him, laughing.

"Is this your doing?" Merlin asked.

"I had to pee. She snuck in."

"Mhm." Merlin rolled over and buried his face in the pillow. Arthur lay down next to him, tracing random patterns over his back that made him want to drift off again. Aithusa continued licking his toes.

"She's got a foot fetish, huh?" Arthur teased.

Merlin groaned. "She used to do this to Elyan all the time," he said, his voice muffled by the pillow. "No idea why. He was a lot more ticklish than I am, though."

Arthur kissed a trail up from Merlin's shoulder to his ear. "Going back to sleep?"

"No," Merlin mumbled. He took a deep breath and turned onto his side, slotting his back against Arthur's chest and pulling Arthur's arm around him. "You're very warm."

"Sorry."

"No. It's nice."

Arthur slipped one of his ankles between Merlin's, and Aithusa shifted away to curl up on the corner of the bed.

"How did you sleep?" Arthur asked.

"Good," Merlin said, stifling a yawn. "You?"

"Very good." Arthur brushed his hand over Merlin's chest, his thumb catching on Merlin's nipples enough times that they started to stiffen. "I had a dream about you."

"Yeah? Was it a good dream?"

"Mhm. We were in my hot tub and you told me you could get me a job at your art university."

Merlin chuckled. "Did you take me up on that?"

"Probably. I think the tub started overflowing at that point. It ran into my room and out on the balcony and made a waterfall."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Then it turned into a waterslide, and we rode that down to the gym and fucked in the sauna."

Merlin stretched a little, arching his back, and felt Arthur's hard cock against his arse.

"I've never been in the sauna," he said, playing innocent. "Is it nice?"

"It's _very_ warm." Arthur gave one of Merlin's nipples a pinch and Merlin twitched. "It's relaxing, though. Sometimes the other guys get naked."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Arthur wrapped himself fully around Merlin and started rolling his hips against Merlin's arse. "Usually only the old and wrinkly ones, though."

Merlin laughed and reached back to grip Arthur's thigh, encouraging him to move faster.

"Sounds really hot."

"Yeah, I've had a lot of fantasies about their saggy balls."

"Gross."

"Very." Arthur slid a hand between Merlin's legs and started rubbing him through his briefs. "I used to fantasise about you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You and your arms. Used to drive me wild at the gym."

Merlin grinned and started pushing his arse back against Arthur's slow thrusts. "Tell me."

Arthur moved his hand to Merlin's hip for better leverage, and Merlin replaced it with his own, pushing his hand into his pants and pulling on his dick.

Arthur let out a shuddering breath, his hips jerking sharply.

"Do you want to fuck me?" Merlin asked. His own dick twitched at the question, and he made himself slow his fingers down, feeling warm all over.

"Obviously," Arthur groaned out.

Merlin turned onto his back and ran his hands through Arthur's hair before pulling him in for a kiss even though neither of them tasted very good.

"Then fuck me."

Arthur kissed him again before getting out the bed and going over to Merlin's bureau to dig out a condom and lube. He grabbed Aithusa as well, setting her down in the hall and closing the door before she could come back in.

"Does she like to watch?" Arthur asked, stepping out of his pants before lying back down.

"She likes to try." Merlin pushed down his own pants and Arthur dragged them the rest of the way off, dropping them over the edge of the bed.

Arthur poured lube onto his fingers and, guiding Merlin onto his side again, began pushing them into Merlin's arse. Merlin reached behind himself for Arthur's cock, pulling on it loosely as Arthur fingered him.

"Christ, I just want to do everything to you," Arthur muttered against Merlin's shoulder.

"Glad to be of service."

Merlin let go of Arthur's dick and turned slightly more on his stomach, digging his knee into the mattress so Arthur had more access to his arse. Arthur draped himself back over Merlin as best he could, his cock pressed into one of Merlin's cheeks, and Merlin could feel _everything_. Every shift of Arthur's fingers, every pulse of Arthur's dick, every twitch of Arthur's hips—all of it was so close, sparking against Merlin's skin.

Arthur bit at the back of Merlin's neck, pushing Merlin's hand away from his cock. With three fingers stretching open Merlin's arse, he pressed his thumb against the head of Merlin's dick and started rubbing it side to side.

"Oh, God," Merlin groaned and came without warning, his arse clenching around Arthur's fingers. "Fuck, that feels good. Ah, shit." He fisted his sheets as Arthur continued, his whole consciousness narrowing down to the slide of Arthur's thumb against his dick.

He gasped helplessly as he tried to slow himself down, but his body fought back, drawing out the pleasure until there was another sharp peak and he spiralled into another orgasm. He bit down on his pillow, moaning as Arthur _kept going_ until he was jerking with a painful euphoria at each movement of Arthur's thumb.

"Okay, okay," he breathed, reaching down to cover his cock so Arthur couldn't touch it anymore. "Fuck."

Arthur chuckled and kissed the back of his neck. "All right?"

"That was intense," Merlin said, panting. He brushed his fingers lightly over his dick and gasped as his hips twitched, still too sensitive. "You can still fuck me. Just give me a minute."

"Bit late for that."

"No, I'm good," Merlin promised. "Just don't—"

Arthur slipped his fingers out of Merlin's arse, and Merlin moaned a little, feeling empty. He draped himself over Merlin's back, pressing sweet kisses around Merlin's neck until Merlin registered that he was soft.

"Did you—I'm sorry."

"How could you possibly be sorry? That was amazing."

"But you wanted to fuck me."

"I wanted to come," Arthur corrected. "And come I did. Because that was one of the hottest things I've seen."

Merlin flushed, glad Arthur couldn't see his face.

"Do you want to go out for breakfast?" Arthur asked.

Merlin licked his lips, realising for the first time how hungry he was. "Yeah, actually. That'd be good. I'm paying this time."

"We can split it."

"Not after what you paid last night."

"I didn't mind," Arthur said softly. "I wanted to."

"Good. I'm glad you wanted to. And I want to pay for breakfast."

Arthur turned Merlin over on his back and gave him a long kiss. "I suppose that's only fair."

Merlin pushed his fingers through Arthur's hair. "Shower?"

"Yeah." Arthur rolled off the bed with a grunt and pulled Merlin up with him.

They rinsed off quickly and then Merlin got dressed in jeans and his dragon trans pride t-shirt while Arthur pulled on his nice suit from the night before.

"I have to take Aithusa for a walk," Merlin said, sitting on the edge of his bed and pulling on socks. "You can go home and change, and then we can meet back up."

Arthur checked his mobile and his face fell. "Shit."

"What?"

Arthur leaned against Merlin's bureau, frowning down at his mobile. "I forgot I was meant to get brunch with Morgana."

"Oh, well, no worries. I'm sure I can manage to feed myself."

Arthur shrugged and looked back up. "Would it be weird if you both came? Probably, right? It's too soon for that. Nevermind."

"I don't think it would be weird. I've already met her, so—"

"When did you…" Arthur sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Leon's birthday. Right. I keep forgetting."

Merlin stood and moved in for a kiss, holding onto Arthur's hips.

"Would it be very stressful for you if we were both there?"

"It wouldn't ruin my day."

"Then let's do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm starving."

Arthur smiled and kissed Merlin softly. "All right. I'll go get changed."

"Where were you guys going to go?"

"Some place I've never heard of." Arthur showed Morgana's text to Merlin.

"Oh, that place is great. Do you think Morgana would want to sit outside? I can bring Aithusa."

"She would probably love that." Arthur put his mobile in his back pocket. "Come to mine and we can head out together?"

Merlin agreed and scooped up Aithusa. He carried her to Arthur's and played with her up in the loft while Arthur changed into something more casual.

"Merlin?" Arthur called out when he emerged.

"Up here!" Merlin stood and looked down into the living room.

Arthur was wearing a bold rainbow t-shirt. It was red over his shoulders, orange across the top of his chest, and so on, all the way down to purple around his waist.

Merlin scrambled down the stairs and gave Arthur a kiss, lacing their fingers together.

"I like your shirt," he said.

Arthur grinned and held Merlin's hands tighter. "Thanks. I figured… if you're going to wear that one, then, well…"

Merlin grinned and kissed him again. "Ready to go?"

Arthur nodded, so they headed out. They made it to the restaurant before Morgana and were seated outside and given a bowl of water and a treat for Aithusa.

"I have never seen you wear that shirt in public," Morgana when she approached a few minutes later. She leaned down to kiss Arthur's cheek as she sat down next to him. "What's the occasion?"

Arthur flushed, glaring down at his menu.

"Me, I think," Merlin said.

Morgana looked over at Merlin's shirt and grinned widely. "I love it. This your dog?" she asked, reaching under the table to pat Aithusa.

"Yeah, Aithusa. Arthur said you two grew up with dogs."

"Yes, our father always insisted I have a service dog, even though he was also always making sure I had the highest-quality prosthetics." She held up her false hand. "Didn't really need both, but I suppose he had money to spare."

"Can we not?" Arthur asked. "Please?"

Morgana smirked and made a rude gesture.

"Yes, very impressive," Arthur said, pushing down on the robotic fingers until Morgana was making a fist. "Go shove it."

Morgana punched Arthur's shoulder lightly and then gave Merlin an innocent smile. "How's your weekend been?"

"Really good, actually. I went to this trans meet-up on Friday night, and yesterday morning I ran the perimeter of Hype Park with this queer running group."

"Oh, I've seen them," Morgana said. "If I had any interest in running, I'd say they look like fun."

"Definitely only fun if you have an interest in running," Merlin confirmed. "Then Arthur took me out for dinner last night. How's your weekend?"

"Lots of job searching," Morgana said. She glanced over at Arthur. "Speaking of."

Arthur sighed and narrowed his eyes at Morgana. "Yes?"

Morgana grinned and Merlin licked his lips, trying not laugh. He liked seeing Arthur so harassed. He liked how gleeful Morgana was in her harassing.

"Have you decided if you're staying at Camelot?"

"No," Arthur admitted. "I think… I think I'll leave at some point. I'm not sure when or how or where else I'd go, but I'm coming around to the idea. I never thought I'd leave, so it still feels a bit foreign, but I think moving on is probably best."

"Good," Morgana said, nodding her approval. "Don't let them hold you hostage."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "They're not holding me hostage. They're trying to promote me."

Morgana gave Arthur a long look.

"Okay, fine," Arthur said, throwing up his hands. "They're holding me hostage. How dare they offer me money and a fulfilling career."

"You can get that elsewhere," Morgana said reasonably. "If they're trying to promote you, it's because they know you're too good to stay there as a senior engineer."

"It's because they're haemorrhaging employees and it's cheaper to promote me than hire someone new."

" _And_ because losing you would be another major loss. You know your research brings in more money than anyone else's."

Arthur shrugged, but Merlin could tell he was trying not to smile.

"You fucker," Morgana said, punching Arthur again.

"Ow!" Arthur held his shoulder tenderly. "That's fucking _metal_ , Morgana."

Morgana crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Fine," Arthur said. "I know I'm brilliant and so does Camelot. Happy?"

"No. How do you put up with this?" Morgana asked, turning to Merlin.

"He's quite good in bed."

Morgana shuddered and pulled a face. Arthur grinned and tapped his foot against Merlin's under the table.

" _Anyway_ ," Morgana said, lifting Aithusa into her lap and scratching behind her ears. "Merlin, what do you do for work?"

"Video game art."

"Did you work on _Aithusa_ , or do you just like that game enough to name your dog after it?"

"No, I worked on it. I did all the dragons."

Morgana grinned. "Did you do the unicorn dragon?"

"What?" Arthur asked incredulously. "Why have _you_ played that game?"

"Because it's camp as hell."

Merlin smiled proudly and was saved from having to listen to more sibling interrogation by the waiter finally coming over to serve them.

~~~

When he got home from brunch, Arthur took his laptop out on his balcony to draft an email.

Once their food had arrived, Morgana had spent most of the rest of their brunch giving him 'advice' on applying for jobs. Her tips didn't make much sense for academic work, which she refused to acknowledge, but Arthur knew he should start making moves before he fell back into his comfort zone at Camelot.

Mostly Morgana's words had been an infuriating motivation. She was always so… _right_. Just like Annis. If Arthur didn't know better, he would think Morgana and Annis had conspired just to make him miserable all the time.

He did know better, though. Morgana and Annis had never liked each other. Perhaps they were too similar. Or maybe it was all a ruse to throw him off the sent of their secret alliance to prove him wrong all the time.

It took nearly an hour, but eventually Arthur had an email ready to send. He was reaching out to a faculty member in the engineering department of a local university. It wasn't the best uni in London, but he had an in with the staff that he figured would be easier than trying to start from scratch elsewhere.

Arthur didn't know Professor Monmouth very well, but he was a frequent collaborator of Arthur's PhD advisor, and that was as good a starting place as anything else.

Not that he really expected anything to come of it. Monmouth was a bit of a monolith, even if he did work for a substandard university, and he probably got unsolicited emails all the time.

Arthur sent the email and then resolved to put it out of his mind until he heard back— _if_ he heard back. He would spend his week doing work as usual. Or, he would spend his week doing what he had been doing since he came back from Canada, which was focusing much more heavily on his junior engineers instead of his own research. And he would meet up for lunch with Merlin as much as their schedules allowed. Maybe he could find some risky semi-public place for them to fuck after they ate. And if Monmouth responded to his email, that would just be a bonus.

~

By Thursday, Arthur had actually managed to put his email to Monmouth of his mind. He got fully engrossed in Sefa's project on ulnar and radial deviation, to the point where he was late for lunch with Merlin.

"Sorry," he said, literally running up to where Merlin was waiting outside the creperie.

Merlin wrapped Arthur in a hug and gave him a long kiss that Arthur melted into a little, even though he was out of breath.

"Wow," he said, pulling back. "What was that for?"

"I missed you," Merlin said happily.

Arthur grinned and gave Merlin another kiss. "I missed you, too. Even though it's been less than 24 hours."

Merlin shrugged and, grabbing Arthur's hand, led the way inside. They picked a table near the windows and started leafing through the menu.

"How's your day?" Arthur asked. Merlin seemed especially happy. He was practically glowing—which was lovely, but suspicious.

"Signed a contract for another game," Merlin said, grinning.

"Wow. Congratulations. You're going to be a very busy man."

"Yup." Merlin was still grinning. "They're still in the really early stages of planning, so I won't have to start on it immediately or anything. They just… really wanted me on board."

"Wow," Arthur said again, trying to quash his feelings of jealousy. Merlin worked really hard and produced really good work, and he deserved to be hired by as many studios as he could fit in his schedule. "That's incredible."

"Yeah. It's a bit surreal, but… honestly, I really didn't know if I'd be able to make a living outside of Avalon. The fact that anyone else wants to hire me is a miracle."

"Nah. Anyone who doesn't want to hire you is blind."

Merlin smiled softly, and Arthur's stomach flipped a little at the expression on his face. "Thanks."

"'Course." Arthur pulled out his mobile and pulled up the duck drawing Merlin had sent him the previous week. "I mean, just look at that line work."

"You saved that?" Merlin asked.

Arthur set his mobile down and reached across the table to play with Merlin's hand. "Yeah."

Their server came over just then, and Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin's hand as they ordered.

"What about you?" Merlin asked after the server walked away. "Have you thought more about what Morgana was saying on Sunday?"

"Yes, but don't tell her that."

Merlin gave Arthur's fingers a squeeze. "Your secret's safe with me. Do you think you'll start applying for things? Or… I'm not actually sure how that works for universities."

Arthur shrugged. "Yeah, I… I reached out to someone I sort of know, but I haven't heard anything back." He pulled his hand away and checked his email on his mobile to make a point.

But this time there was an unread message in his inbox, from Monmouth.

"Actually, he… just wrote me back."

"What's it say?" Merlin asked, leaning forward to try to get a better look at Arthur's mobile.

Arthur opened up the email and read through it quickly.

"It's… not overly friendly," he said, setting his mobile down.

He ran his hands over his face, worrying that his reputation might be declining outside Camelot's walls. Or maybe Monmouth had reached out to his old advisor, and maybe his old advisor wasn't willing to vouch for him anymore. He was sure news of his father's scandal had spread throughout the prosthetics field. Maybe he wouldn't be able to escape it. Maybe he would be forced to stay at Camelot after all. Maybe no one else would be willing to hire him.

"It's not that bad," Merlin said, and Arthur looked up to see Merlin reading through the email. "He seems like a bit of a grump."

Arthur snorted. "He is, actually."

Merlin passed his mobile back. "Did you want to work for him, or were you just get some advice?"

"Both, maybe. I don't know. I wouldn't want to work for him. I wouldn't want to work at his university, either. It was… it was sort of a sad attempt." Arthur put his mobile back in his pocket and ran his hands over his face again. "I'm just a bit lost."

"That's understandable. But, according to both you and your sister, you're incredibly good at what you do. I'm sure there are lots of people who would want to hire you, you just need to figure out where you would actually want to be hired."

Arthur nodded. "I guess, yeah."

Merlin reached for Arthur's hand again and stroked his thumb across the back of it. "You're making a pretty major shift, it's bound to take a while to figure out how to do it right. Luckily, you're already working somewhere that loves you, and you don't seem to actively hate it there. It's not an urgent need for you to find another job."

"No," Arthur agreed. "I'm just impatient."

"I think you shouldn't be," Merlin said after a moment. "It probably wouldn't work out too well if you rushed into some new job out of desperation. You might end up hating it."

Arthur smiled, wondering how he had managed to get someone as supportive as Merlin on his side.

"You're right," he said, turning his hand over to hold Merlin's. "Don't let that get to your head, though."

"I'll try to keep my ego in check," Merlin teased.

"See that you do."

~

The next day, Arthur left work a few hours early to go to his father's house. He biked there, taking the long route to clear his head as much as possible, and only had to ring the doorbell once for Uther to answer it.

"Arthur," he said, smiling warmly as he opened the door. "Come in. You should have phoned ahead. Why aren't you at work?"

"I finished for the day." Arthur followed his father into the sitting room and sat on a stiff sofa. Uther had always cared for form over function, which had led to a lot of uncomfortable furniture over the years.

"How have you been?" Uther asked, sitting on the opposite sofa.

"Fine," Arthur said shortly. "How are you?"

"Bored," Uther sighed. "Mostly preparing for this trial. Trying to think of a new hobby I can take up in the meantime. I'm no good without work to do."

Arthur pursed his lips. His father looked older and tireder than Arthur had ever seen before. He looked a little pathetic. He sounded even more pathetic, going on about needing a hobby as if he was out of work through no fault of his own.

"I won't ask you to apologise for how you left last time," Uther said when Arthur didn't respond. "I'm sure everything must have still been a bit of a shock for you at the time."

"A bit, yeah," Arthur mumbled.

There was a long silence and Arthur wracked his brains, trying to come up with anything to say. No topic of conversation seemed appropriate or worthwhile.

"How's Camelot?" Uther asked eventually.

"Fine," Arthur said reflexively. He considered his next words and then said, carefully, "Annis wants me for her job."

Uther looked disgustingly pleased. "That's wonderful news. Congratulations."

"I haven't taken it," Arthur said. "It's just a possibility."

"They'd be crazy not to pick you."

 _I'd be crazy to let them,_ Arthur thought. He cleared his throat. "We'll see what happens."

He debated telling Uther about his plans to switch over to a university. Uther would never understand, though. He had never wanted that life for Arthur—had actively discouraged Arthur from pursuing it.

And Arthur didn't care. He didn't need or want his father's approval. He certainly didn't want to deal with his father's disappointment.

"I saw Morgana on Sunday," he said, desperate to fill the silence that had fallen between them again.

"Oh? How is she?"

"Fine. We had brunch with… with a guy I've started seeing."

Uther nodded, his expression neutral. "Who is he?"

Arthur looked down at the ornate coffee table between them, realising that Uther would never understand Merlin, as Arthur's choice of a partner or even just as a person. He'd responded so poorly when Arthur came out. He'd apparently responded just as poorly to Morgana's early dating life. Arthur could only imagine how he'd respond if he found out that Arthur was dating a trans man.

He felt a spike of hatred toward Uther for putting him in a position where, if he ended up with Merlin long term, he would either have to lie about Merlin or subject Merlin to Uther's abuse.

Or he could follow Morgana's example and stop trying to maintain any sort of relationship with his father.

That option sounded miserable, although Arthur had a sinking feeling it might come down to that in the end.

He could still try to maintain it for now, though. Even if it got him nowhere.

"His name's Merlin. He lives in Agravaine's building as well. He's got a dog."

"Sounds nice," Uther said flatly.

Arthur cleared his throat and stood. "Well. Reach out if you, I don't know, need help during preparations or anything."

"That's it?" Uther asked, following Arthur to the door. "That's all you came here for?"

"I didn't come here for anything," Arthur said honestly. He opened the door and went out onto the front stop. "I don't think there's anything you can give me at this point."

Uther looked like he'd been slapped, but Arthur didn't have anything else to say. He gave a half-hearted wave and hopped back on the Boris bike to go home.

~~~

"It's kind of incredible," Merlin said, rotating the image Gaius had sent him.

He hadn't been prepared for how it would feel to see his art— _his_ art—brought to life by the other game artists. There wasn't much by way of colour or lighting, but the cave had been mapped to a 3D model, and Merlin couldn't stop staring at it.

"What do you think about the scale?"

Merlin leaned back a little in his chair to take in the full effect.

"I think it's great," he decided. "Honestly, I think it'll work with a smaller scale, too, if that helps with the rendering. I wouldn't want it to get too flat, you know?"

"I agree. Any other thoughts?"

Merlin reluctantly tore his eyes off the cave and looked back at the small video feed of Gaius in the corner of his computer.

"No, I think it's in good hands."

Gaius nodded and shared some more files, which Merlin opened and found to be edits on some of the latest character designs he'd shared.

"These were good," Gaius said. "The biggest feedback I got was that the hair should be bigger."

"Like, _Brave_ big, or—"

"Bigger. As big as you can manage without hurting anyone."

Merlin chuckled. "All right. I'll work on that. Anything else?"

"Just look over Gilli's scribbles and let me know if you have any questions."

"Cool. Thanks." Merlin glanced at the time. "Have I kept you from lunch?"

"I'm meeting Edwin in a bit."

"Oh? Tell him I say hello."

"Certainly." Gaius cleared his throat and leaned closed to his webcam. "I've nearly sold him on the idea of a _Crystal Cave_ art book."

Even though he had always known it was a possibility, Merlin's heart still thumped in his chest at the mention of a book of his art.

"Yeah? That's—that's amazing. Thank you."

Gaius nodded. "Once we've been able to model everything, we'll share it back and you can polish your pieces for publishing."

"Thank you," Merlin said. "I can't say how much I appreciate that."

"I know." Gaius grinned. "I'm not doing it for you, though, I'm doing it for me. I want you on my good side so we can keep hiring you for as long as you're in our price range."

"I can't imagine I'll ever be out of it," Merlin said, laughing.

"We shall see." Gaius winked and leaned back in his chair. "Anything else?"

"No. I'll send back some revisions next week."

"Good. Looking forward to it. Have a good weekend, Merlin."

"Thanks, you as well."

Gaius ended the call with a wave. Merlin switched off his webcam and started going through the notes on his character designs. He worked on updating his drafts, sketching out different hair silhouettes for the game's main characters until his mobile buzzed with a text from Arthur.

It was just a picture of Arthur's hot tub, filled to the brim with bubbling water.

_Is that an invitation?_

_Obviously_

Merlin grinned and printed out some drawings he'd worked on the night before, wanting to show Arthur. He shoved some extra clothes, a few toys, and a container of dog food in a backpack and then took Aithusa on the lift down to the basement.

Arthur was waiting for him at the eastern lifts. He looked tired but pleased to see Aithusa, and Merlin wrapped him in a hug.

"Hi," he said after giving Arthur a kiss.

Arthur held him for a long moment before tugging Merlin into a lift.

"How was your day?" Merlin asked.

Arthur shrugged and picked up Aithusa. "Saw my dad."

"Shit," Merlin said before he could stop himself. "How was it?"

Arthur shrugged again. "Better than last time, I guess. Not by a lot, though."

"I'm sorry." Merlin followed Arthur out into the foyer and grabbed his hand, stopping him from opening the door to the penthouse. "It's amazing that you're even trying." He pulled Arthur in for a kiss.

"Thanks," Arthur said, sounding unconvinced.

"Come on," Merlin said, pushing Arthur gently toward the door. "I have something to show you."

Arthur unlocked the penthouse and set down Aithusa, who immediately made her way up to the loft.

Merlin pulled his drawings from the backpack and handed them over, watching Arthur's face closely. His brow furrowed as he looked through Merlin's art, but he was smiling when he looked up.

"What're these for?"

"For you." Merlin moved to stand next to Arthur. "I was thinking about you, and… yeah."

"You were thinking about me?" Arthur teased.

"Mhm."

Arthur gave Merlin a kiss before turning back to the drawings. They were designs—more fantasy than practical—of artificial or artificially enhanced arms, hands, and fingers.

"This one's not far off," Arthur said, pointing out a balljoint wrist. "What's this part on the fingers?"

"You mentioned a sensory feedback system. I don't know what that would look like, but—"

"When did I mention that?" Arthur asked, looking amused.

"That first morning I was making waffles for Gwaine."

Arthur smirked. "I can't believe you remember that."

"I also remember you telling me I was often naked in your dreams."

"Don't think I said it quite like that."

Merlin grinned, and Arthur looked back down at the drawings.

"These are really great," he said after a moment. "You should work for our marketing team."

"Yeah? Are they looking for someone who can draw prosthetic dragon tails?"

"Is that what this is?" Arthur asked, holding up a depiction of a sleek robotic arm.

"Yes. Can't you tell?"

"Looks more like a prosthetic dwarf foot to me."

Merlin chuckled and leaned in for a kiss. "Want to go snog in the hot tub until it's time for dinner?"

"Absolutely."

Arthur set Merlin's drawings down on the living room table, took Merlin's hand, and led the way to his room. Merlin stripped down to his boxer briefs and slipped into the hot tub, going in up to his neck. Arthur followed quickly, sitting on Merlin's lap and wasting no time in getting straight to the kissing.

"I missed you," Arthur whispered in Merlin's ear. He kissed a wet trail down to Merlin's collar bones and started sucking a bruise into his skin.

Merlin groaned and pulled Arthur closer, gripping him by the arse.

"You just saw me yesterday," he pointed out.

"Not like this."

"No," Merlin agreed. "Not like this."

"Yeah. Had to be all _decent_ since we were in _public_."

"Such a hardship."

Arthur murmured his agreement before fisting Merlin's hair and slamming their lips together, his kiss hard and hungry.

"Don't start something you can't finish before dinner," Merlin said when he finally pulled away, panting.

Arthur smirked and licked up Merlin's ear. "Thank you for the drawings. What do you want for dinner?"

"Anything," Merlin said, his mind blank as Arthur started rocking his hips.

"Pizza?" Arthur suggested, gripping Merlin's hair again and tilting his head back.

"Yeah," Merlin moaned.

"And then after, will you play _Ori and the Blind Forest_ with me?"

Merlin grinned and squeezed Arthur's arse. "Sure. I love that game."

Arthur mirrored his grin and leaned down to give Merlin a filthy kiss.

~

On Saturday morning, Merlin and Arthur took Aithusa to another outdoor brunch. Freya and Leon were there as well, but they were sitting inside and halfway through their meal by the time Merlin and Arthur arrived.

"They're really sweet," Arthur said as they were seated outside the restaurant. "Leon hasn't cleared his schedule to date in ages."

"Cleared his schedule?" Merlin asked, tying Aithusa's lead around his chair.

"Leon works more than anyone I know," Arthur explained. "And usually when he's not working, he's _thinking_ about working. He only bothers to stop when he finds something—or someone—else who can hold his attention."

"What does he do?"

"He works at a PR firm. Maybe I should hire him to fix my family's reputation."

"That would probably be overkill."

Arthur smirked. "Probably."

"Well, I'm glad Leon is getting a break from working too much. He seems very… dedicated."

"Very," Arthur agreed. "Dedicated to his job, dedicated to his friends… dedicated to the occasional girlfriend."

Merlin grinned and leaned over to tug Aithusa closer to the table. "Freya's sort of the same. Not in that she works too much, but she doesn't date very often, either. She doesn't trust too many guys enough to let them stick around."

"Perfect match, then."

"Mhm." Merlin stretched his legs out under the table, sliding his ankles against Arthur's. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"When was your last relationship?"

Arthur looked down at his menu. "Uh…"

"That long ago?" Merlin teased.

Arthur shrugged. "'Relationships' have never been my forte. Maybe my standards have been too high."

"And you finally decided to lower them for me? I'm touched."

"No." Arthur looked up, smiling. "For once, I never even had to consider it."

Merlin felt warm all over. "Wow, my arms must really be something, huh?"

"They're all right."

Merlin held one up and flexed while making a stupid face.

"Yup," Arthur said, laughing. "Incredibly sexy."

"Thank you."

Arthur winked and Merlin shook his head, laughing.

"What do you want to get?" Arthur asked, looking back down at his menu.

"I'm not that hungry," Merlin admitted. "Maybe just coffee and some fruit."

"Want to split some pancakes with me?"

"Sure," Merlin agreed as their waitress approached.

Arthur ordered for them and then started asking about Merlin's projects. Merlin pulled out his mobile to show the most recent pieces he'd sent to the German studio. Arthur looked through them, apparently enthralled, until their coffee had been drunk, their fruit eaten, and their pancakes gone cold.

"I love this hat so much," Arthur said, zooming in on a sketch of a pirate.

Merlin grinned. "Thanks." He reached across the table and managed to extract his mobile. He found that Freya had sent him a text asking him not to come back to their flat for the afternoon. "Do you want to go to the cinema or something?"

"Sure, I'll see what's out," Arthur said, taking out his own mobile.

"I'll be right back."

Merlin excused himself to the toilet, and when he came back Arthur was staring out at traffic.

"All right?" Merlin asked as he sat back down.

Arthur took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "So… I emailed someone yesterday after I got home from my dad's. I really didn't expect… well, anything. Certainly not anything soon, but…"

"But you heard back?" Merlin asked, hoping this response had been nicer than the last one.

"Yeah. I got invited to sit in on her next lecture."

"That's great! Who did you email?"

"A woman I've never even met." Arthur smiled guilty. "But she works at the best science university in London, and I was feeling desperate, so…"

"So you took a shot and it worked out."

"Apparently. She sounded almost enthusiastic. She said she was familiar with what I've done at Camelot."

"That's great," Merlin said firmly. "Why do you look so shellshocked?"

Arthur shook his head and gave Merlin a wide smile. "I'm not. I mean, I am. I'm just… pleasantly surprised."

"I'll bet you'll have many more pleasant surprises," Merlin said honestly. "Seems like everyone except that one jerk likes you."

Arthur nodded. "Apparently so."

Merlin stood up a little and leaned across the table to give Arthur a kiss. "Any good films out?" he asked as he untied Aithusa's lead.

"I forgot to check." Arthur stood and rounded the table to give Merlin a proper kiss. "Do you want to just go back and find something to watch on the telly?"

"Sure. Your place?"

Arthur shrugged and took Merlin's hand, leading the way to their block of flats.

They took a detour to a small park to let Aithusa run around, and then they went up to the penthouse. Aithusa went straight for the loft again, snorting happily as she struggled up the stairs.

"Can I get you anything?" Arthur asked, gesturing at the kitchen.

"I'm good." He glanced around, listening closely but all he could hear was Aithusa panting and scratching at something up in the loft. "We alone?"

"Yeah." Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist. "Wanna fuck in the lounge?"

Merlin grinned and moved in for a long kiss. Arthur moved his hands down into Merlin's back pockets and Merlin dug his fingers into Arthur's hair.

"Balcony?" Merlin asked when Arthur stepped back to pull off his shirt.

Arthur grinned and pulled off Merlin's shirt as well. "If you want."

"You know I do."

Arthur bit at Merlin's ear, tugging on his earlobe. "Okay."

He grabbed Merlin's hand, and they went through his room and out onto his private balcony.

Merlin pressed Arthur against the glass windows, getting a leg between Arthur's and grinding down against him as they kissed.

Just as he was getting into it, Arthur swapped their positions, pushing Merlin against the windows and undoing Merlin's flies so he could start rubbing Merlin's dick.

"Ah, no, not yet," Merlin said, squirming as Arthur's dry fingers stroked him a little too roughly.

He turned them again, getting to his knees and pulling Arthur's clothes down with him. Arthur was half hard, so Merlin stroked him and kissed his inner thighs, teasing him until he was completely hard, and then Merlin licked around his head.

Arthur sighed and widened his stance, dragging his fingers though Merlin's hair.

Merlin sank his mouth around Arthur's cock, hollowing his cheeks and sucking as he pulled back slowly. Arthur made a delicious sound, and Merlin sucked him back in quickly, wanting to hear more.

He hadn't really been wet when Arthur had first tried to jerk him off, but it didn't take very long of being on his knees between Arthur's leg—with Arthur's hands scrambling at his hair and Arthur's hips pushing forward each time he did something Arthur really liked—to start feeling his pants gets slick.

When Arthur's head clunked back against the windows, Merlin got a hand in his pants to start pulling on his dick. He wondered if Arthur would let this go on until they had both come, and then maybe they could come again.

"Merlin," Arthur moaned when Merlin pulled off to tongue at his balls.

"Mhm."

"Merlin," Arthur sighed, his voice low and breathy and mindless.

Merlin shifted up, still working his mouth over Arthur's dick, to push his pants and jeans down enough to allow him to push two fingers into his front. He wanted Arthur to fuck him there so badly, but he didn't want it to happen out on the balcony in some fumbled tryst. He wanted to be able to take his time, to ride Arthur slowly, to get Arthur to fuck him deep and rough and preferably in a bed.

Arthur tugged roughly on Merlin's hair and Merlin let himself be pulled up for a kiss.

"Can I fuck you?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah," Merlin agreed quickly. "Yeah."

"Yeah?"

Merlin leaned in to flick his tongue against Arthur's ear. "Yeah. In the arse for now. If we ever manage to fuck in a bed again, you can have me in the front."

Arthur's breath hitched, his fingers pressing into Merlin's sides.

"You want that?" Merlin asked, keeping his lips pressed to Arthur's ear. "I do. I want to sit on your dick until I'm completely full, and then I want to come all over you."

Arthur shuddered and tightened his grip.

"Then I'll sit on your face," Merlin continued, reaching down to give his cock a quick rub, turned on to the point he didn't think he could last one more second without being touched, "and ride you until you make me come again."

"Jesus," Arthur breathed. "Damn, Merlin." He gave Merlin a wet, sloppy, warm kiss before stepping away. He went quickly into his room and came back out a moment later with condoms and lube.

"Come here," he said, tugging Merlin over to the railing.

Arthur turned Merlin so that he was looking over the city and then started pressing one lubed-up finger into his arse. He kissed hungrily along the back of Merlin's neck, and Merlin hung his head down, gripping the railing tightly.

Once Arthur had two fingers in Merlin's arse, he wrapped himself around Merlin, reaching around to rub his dick.

Merlin dropped his head back against Arthur's shoulder, groaning.

He loved the way Arthur made him feel. He was out on the penthouse balcony, naked in full view of the city, and Arthur was working him over with both hands, and Merlin felt unjudged and indulged and _so_ hot.

"How's this?" Arthur asked, getting Merlin's dick between his thumb and forefinger and stroking near the head.

Merlin nodded, trying to breath properly. That was almost always how he got himself off when he was alone, and Arthur was getting it so right, and he just wanted to come.

"Okay," Merlin said, grabbing both of Arthur's wrists to stop his movements. "Inside me."

Arthur licked up the back of Merlin's neck and stepped away for a moment to put on the condom.

Merlin hissed when Arthur started pushing into him. He rolled his hips back, encouraging Arthur, and then they were flush against each other with Arthur's dick pulsing inside Merlin.

"Do it hard," Merlin said, fighting the urge to rub himself again. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold back from coming if he did, and he wanted Arthur to come first.

Arthur groaned and, sliding his hands down Merlin's sides, began rocking his hips. He moved sharply at first, giving it hard like Merlin wanted, but gradually slowed down until they were both just rolling against each other, and Merlin found that he liked that even better.

Tightening his grip on the railing with one hand, Merlin twisted his body around, hooking his free arm around Arthur's neck and pulling him in for a kiss. Arthur moved his hands down to the front of Merlin's hips and gripped the tops of his thighs. Merlin huffed at the tease of Arthur's fingers so close to his dick and slid his tongue against Arthur's.

"Fuck, Merlin," Arthur muttered against Merlin's lips. He stilled, pulling Merlin's hips back and sliding two fingers up and down his dick.

Merlin shivered, jerking in Arthur's grip. "Ah, stop," he breathed, twisting his hips away.

Arthur moved his hand back to Merlin's side and pressed his forehead to Merlin's shoulder.

"Can I ride you?" Merlin asked, wanting to be able to see Arthur when he came.

Arthur nodded and pulled out, stepping away. He glanced around his balcony. "Chair?" he asked, gesturing at the chaise lounge.

Merlin agreed, so Arthur lay down and stretched himself along the chair. Once he was settled, Merlin climbed on top, digging his knees into the cushions, and sat down on Arthur's dick.

Arthur shifted, his hands gripping Merlin's thighs. Merlin rested his hands on Arthur's chest and lifted himself off, then ground back down, loving the drag of Arthur's cock along his already over stimulated arse. His dick was hard and swollen and pulsing, and he felt impossibly wet—he wanted to come. He wanted to come all over Arthur, just like he'd said.

Not yet, though. He still wanted to see Arthur come first.

Arthur had his eyes glued to where they were joined, watching his dick sliding in and out of Merlin's arse. 

"Arthur," Merlin panted, "is this cock-tastic enough for you?"

Arthur groaned out a laugh and, planting his feet on either side of the chair, started lifting his hips as Merlin rode him.

"Are you close?" Merlin asked, dizzy with how desperate he was to touch himself.

Arthur nodded, biting his lip and gripping Merlin's thighs a little harder.

Merlin picked up speed, nearly bouncing off Arthur's body, and Arthur groaned in response.

"Yeah," Merlin sighed. Everything was throbbing, and he actually felt like he might be able to come just from this. "Yeah, come on."

Arthur let out a broken moan and bucked, slamming his hips up against Merlin and coming with a shudder. His mouth was hanging open, his face flushed and his eyes squeezed tight, and it was everything Merlin had hoped to see. Merlin squeezed his muscles around Arthur's dick, riding him through it, until Arthur slumped down on the chair. His arms fell to the side, and he kept his eyes closed, panting, as Merlin lifted off his softening cock.

Merlin shoved Arthur over so they could both lounge on the chair, and Arthur wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Good?" Merlin asked.

Arthur took a deep breath and raised his head, looking down at himself. He pulled off the condom and flung it into a potted plant in the corner.

"That's disgusting," Merlin said, laughing.

"You know you like it." Arthur turned onto his side and went straight for Merlin's dick, rubbing his fingers over it from side to side.

Merlin sighed and squirmed, trying to hold back so he could enjoy it for longer. Arthur slid down his body, kissing and licking his neck, then his chest and nipples, then down his stomach to his navel. Merlin's breath kept catching in his throat every time Arthur's fingers moved against him just right, and he was winding tighter, and he was losing his tenuous control.

"Merlin," Arthur said, his voice muffled against Merlin's hip bone. "Can I suck you?"

Merlin gasped and nodded, spreading his legs. Arthur kissed down to Merlin's thigh, moving his fingers more roughly, and Merlin started to come before his mouth got anywhere close.

"Fuck," Merlin whimpered, lifting his hips against Arthur's hand and gripping the chair cushions as his whole body twitched and pulsed with the orgasm that had been building for so long.

"God damn," Arthur muttered, and Merlin looked down to see Arthur watching his cunt throb.

Merlin groaned and reached down, pushing Arthur's hand away and rubbing his dick to draw out as much pleasure as possible, to show Arthur how good it felt.

"Shit," Merlin sighed, resting his hand on his thigh as his body went limp against the chair. "Sorry."

Arthur laughed and pressed a kiss to Merlin's thigh. "That was amazing," he said, looking up at Merlin. "I want to watch you do that again as soon as possible."

"That could be arranged." Merlin brushed his fingers through Arthur's hair and took a deep breath, trying to get his heart to stop hammering in his chest.

Arthur shifted a little and dragged his tongue up from Merlin's front to his dick. Merlin jerked from the overstimulation, gasping at the first feel of Arthur's mouth on him, and tugged on Arthur's hair to pull him up for a kiss. He could taste himself on Arthur's lips, and Arthur's cock was already hard again and pressed against his hip, and he knew he had no hope of getting his heart to slow down.

~

Merlin ended up spending his entire Saturday at the penthouse, even after Gwaine came home and started pestering him and Arthur. Three of them wound up in the hot tub at the end of the night, drinking beer and getting sillier and sillier until Merlin was too tired to even laugh.

When he woke up on Sunday, he was greeted by Arthur's stunning balcony views of the city. He sat up in the bed and just looked out the window for a while, picking out shapes in the clouds and watching the various birds that paused to rest on the balcony railing.

"Mmm," Arthur moaned as he woke up. He curled up next to Merlin, his face pressed into Merlin's knee.

"Good morning," Merlin said, petting Arthur's hair.

Arthur yawned loudly and managed to prop himself up on an elbow. He looked blearily up at Merlin. "Morning. What time is it?"

"No idea." Merlin leaned down for a quick kiss. "Do you want breakfast?"

Arthur sighed and plopped back down, using Merlin's legs as a pillow. "I suppose food would be good."

"Do you still have stuff for waffles?"

"Probably, yeah. My turn, though."

"Your turn to pick food?"

"No." Arthur yawned again and then sat up next to Merlin. "My turn to make the waffles."

"You think you can do better than me?" Merlin teased.

"No. But I'll try, anyway."

Merlin grinned and leaned over for a proper kiss. "That would be lovely."

Arthur hummed in agreement and kissed the tip of Merlin's nose before rolling out of bed with a grunt.

"Okay," he said, stretching. "One waffle coming right up."

"Just one?"

"One big one. Like, really really big." Arthur held his hands out like he was exaggerating about a fish he'd caught. "This big. World-record big."

"How many people are you trying to feed?"

"People? I thought this was for Aithusa."

Merlin snorted, scooted over to the side of the bed, and let Arthur pull him to his feet. They got dressed into their clothes from the previous day and made their way to the kitchen, where they found Gwaine making coffee.

"What are you looking for?" he asked when Arthur started opening all the cupboards.

"Flour. Making waffles."

Merlin sat down at the island and watched, amused, as Arthur cobbled together all the ingredients.

"What are you up to today?" Gwaine asked, pouring out three mugs of coffee.

"Waffles, waffles, and more waffles," Merlin said.

Gwaine snorted. "I took Aithusa out, by the way," he said as he handed Merlin a mug.

"Oh, wow. Thank you. You really didn't have to do that."

Gwaine shrugged. "It's all good. I had to run an errand, anyway."

"What kind of errand do you run before breakfast on a Sunday morning?" Arthur asked.

"Needed condoms," Gwaine said. "Percy's on his way."

Merlin cat-called and Gwaine grinned. "You and Percy are great," he said. "Arthur and I are great. Everything is great."

"Synergy!" Gwaine held up two peace signs and then tilted his hands toward each other. "Oh, no, that's lesbians."

Arthur snorted as he mixed up the waffle ingredients. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It's from _Alpha Papa_ ," Merlin reminded him. "It's one of the best parts."

Arthur frowned down at his mixing bowl.

"What?" Merlin asked. "What's wrong?"

Arthur looked back up, pulling a face. "I don't remember any part of that film," he admitted. "I was not in a good space that night, I didn't even really watch it."

Arthur looked so sad that Merlin got up and went over to give him a kiss. "Well, you know what we should do, then?"

"What's that?"

"Watch it again."

Arthur chuckled and set down the bowl to open up the waffle maker. "Really?"

"Yes. I'll even make pizza again, if you like."

"I would like that," Gwaine chimed in. "Your pizza was fantastic."

Merlin kicked out behind him, landing a blow on Gwaine's shin.

"Ow. Rude. Fine, your pizza was atrocious. I had the shits for the rest of the night."

Merlin kicked him again, turning around to aim properly.

"You two are ridiculous," Arthur said as he poured some of the batter into the iron. "Get a room."

"Yeah, you'd like to watch that, wouldn't you, Pendragon?"

Arthur closed and flipped the waffle maker. "I would _not_ —" His mobile rang in his pocket, cutting off the rest of his sentence.

"So popular," Gwaine teased.

Arthur pulled out his mobile and his brow furrowed as he looked at the screen. "Arthur Pendragon," he answered. "Yes? Oh."

He gave Merlin a look as he walked out of the kitchen, but Merlin couldn't decipher it.

"Does this mean I can get the first waffle?" Gwaine asked.

"Nope," Merlin decided. He stood guard next to the iron to make sure Gwaine wouldn't steal it. "Thanks again for taking out Aithusa. You genuinely did not have to do that."

Gwaine waved dismissively. "It was an extra, like, two minutes. I was already going out, anyway."

"Well. Thank you." Merlin sipped at his coffee. "I'm glad this isn't weird."

"No, we agreed, remember? You're fucking weird."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Yes, fine."

Gwaine laughed and knocked his hip against Merlin's, almost making Merlin's coffee spill.

"I'm glad it's not weird, too," he said. "And I'm glad you're still around to make waffles."

"Arthur made the waffles," Merlin pointed out.

"Whatever. This one's ready." Gwaine pointed at the waffle maker. "Are you saving it for him?"

Merlin went out to the living room and saw Arthur on the balcony, looking engrossed in his conversation.

"You can have it," he said, stepping back in the kitchen. "Don't tell him I gave in so easily, though."

Gwaine agreed, took out the first waffle, and poured in more batter for another one.

By the time Arthur came back, Merlin had eaten his first waffle, and Gwaine had had a second.

Arthur sat at the island and set down his mobile. He didn't look happy.

"Who was it?" Merlin asked, handing over the latest waffle.

"My father's legal team."

"Why are they phoning you on a Sunday morning?" Merlin asked, annoyed that their otherwise delightful weekend had been interrupted.

"Dunno. They were meeting with my dad, I guess."

"What did they want from you?" Gwaine asked, sliding the syrup across the island to Arthur.

"They want me to not contact my father on my own. Apparently it's 'complicated' because I'm still employed at Camelot. So… if I want to talk to him, I'll have to go through them."

"That's absurd," Merlin said. "What could possibly go wrong if you talked to him on your own?"

Arthur shrugged. "I don't know. I kind of… don't care to know. It's a bit of a relief, actually. I mean—fuck. No, it's terrible." He ran his hands through his hair, looking defeated.

"Look," Gwaine said bracingly. "This gives you a really easy out. You can just let him go for now and focus on yourself. Focus on this beautiful boy right here." He pinched Merlin's cheek like an overenthusiastic aunt. "When all this nonsense is over, you can reach back out to him. _If_ you want. For now, you don't even have to make that decision."

Arthur nodded and cut himself a small bite of waffle. "You're right."

"Of course I am. Here, take this next waffle as proof." Gwaine tugged the next waffle off the iron and dropped it onto Arthur's plate.

"Thanks, I think."

Gwaine smirked, but before he could say anything else, his mobile buzzed.

"Percy's here," he said happily. "I'll go let him in."

"He said that like there was some sort of chance one of us was going to do it instead," Arthur said to Merlin as Gwaine headed out.

Merlin sat down at the island next to Arthur and put a hand on his thigh. "Are you all right?"

Arthur shrugged. "Honestly… I'm glad the decision has been made for me. Trying to keep up our relationship at this point was exhausting."

"Then it's a good thing. And, like Gwaine said, it's only temporary. You can revisit what you want in a while. It might be a long while—I don't understand how trials work—but this doesn't have to be an ultimatum."

"No," Arthur agreed. "And, really, I have to imagine he'll enter a plea bargain. There might not even be a trial. Although, I guess it's more likely that the other people involved will do it first and fuck him over as the ringleader. Not that I would blame them."

"It doesn't matter," Merlin said, squeezing Arthur's leg. "You can't control any of it. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and you'll deal with the aftermath, whenever and whatever it is. There's no use in worrying about it now."

Arthur nodded and turned for a kiss. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Eat up before Gwaine and Percy get back, you know they'll want more."

Arthur complied and Merlin went back to manning the waffle maker, churning out more and more until he, Arthur, Gwaine, and Percy were all sated.

"You know what we should do?" Gwaine asked from where he was sitting on the floor with Aithusa in his lap.

"Probably not listen to you," Arthur teased.

Gwaine stuck his tongue out. "Hilarious. We should play co-op _Octodad_ again."

" _Octodad_ has a co-op option?" Merlin asked, excited. "I've only played it by myself."

Gwaine got to his feet with a grunt. "You bet your sweet arse it does. Come on."

He led the group into the lounge where he sat so close to Percy he was practically sitting _on_ Percy. Merlin sat next to Arthur, linking their arms as they took their controllers. Gwaine pulled Aithusa up and she settled between him and Arthur, separating them into teams.

"Okay, do you want to be top or bottom?" Gwaine asked, looking over and Merlin and Arthur.

"We'll be the right side," Arthur said. "Since we're sitting to the right of you."

"Good. That means I can be the left leg again," Gwaine said as he started up the game.

"I still don't understand why you like that so much."

"It's the tastiest part," Gwaine said simply, and Percy laughed.

"Hey," Merlin said quietly as the cutscenes started.

Arthur turned to look at him. "Hey."

"You good?"

Arthur smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss. "I'm good. Thank you. Are you?"

"I'm great," Merlin said honestly. "Looking forward to making pizza and watching _Alpha Papa_ later. Will you tell me why you weren't in a good space that first night?"

Arthur shrugged and looked back at the telly. "I was already a little drunk," he said, keeping his voice low. "And I was really surprised to see you. And… watching you and Gwaine flirt just drove me a bit mad."

"So… if you had just been sober, you could have flirted with me as well, and it wouldn't have taken us, like, two months to get together?"

Arthur laughed, going red. "I suppose, yeah."

Merlin leaned his head against Arthur's shoulder and mashed his controller buttons as the game started. "I'm glad we worked it out in the end."

"Me, too." Arthur turned for long kiss.

"Oi!" Gwaine chucked a pillow at their heads. "Eyes on the prize."

Arthur laughed and threw the pillow right back. He dropped an arm around Merlin's shoulder, even though that made it harder to use his controller effectively, and leaned their heads together.

"I've got my eyes on the prize," he said, squeezing Merlin's shoulder.

Merlin chuckled and turned to give Arthur's shoulder a kiss. "A cock-tastic prize?" he whispered.

Arthur laughed and dropped his controller, cupping Merlin's face with both hands and pulling him in for a kiss.

Gwaine chucked another pillow at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading :)
> 
> And thank you again to schweet_heart for the most fantastic art!!!
> 
> If you haven't, please go leave her love on her art post here: [https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116707](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116707?view_full_work=true)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Art] Over the Lights, Under the Moon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116707) by [schweet_heart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/schweet_heart/pseuds/schweet_heart)




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